Location sharing with spouse

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We share. We have nothing to hide. If you are freaking out—that shows me you have something to be worried about. If your lives are as boring as ours it’s no big deal

Do you feel the same way about government surveillance?

Again, you all shock me. You cannot see the difference between sharing information with your spouse and with the U.S. government.

Some of you have lost all common sense and logic. Assuming you had it to begin with with.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We don't track and we also don't share phone passwords - again for no reason other than we just don't see the need and we like our privacy. We like still being two independent people.

It has never really been an issue.

You think location sharing morphs you into someone who is not independent? But you somehow think you are not dependent on your spouse but the vary nature of them being your spouse?

[Anonymous]

np here. Hey! do whatever you want -- those who want to share. Share! Many of us do not.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, you’re going to do what you’re going to do, and make excuses six ways to Sunday for his refusal and hesitancy to be “surveilled”. But as someone who used Find My to discover my husband’s infidelity (and ignored it and made excuses for it), I’d bet real money he’s up to something.

I encourage you to look into betrayal blindness, because it’s what you’re doing. Betrayal blindness is not allowing yourself to see what is going on, to connect the dots, or to fully engage with reality, because if you did, the information would threaten your relationship with the person who is most important to you.

Your husband is up to something.

OP said he did eventually share it though.

[Anonymous]

Of course we share location. We also share with our adult kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We don't track and we also don't share phone passwords - again for no reason other than we just don't see the need and we like our privacy. We like still being two independent people.

It has never really been an issue.

You think location sharing morphs you into someone who is not independent? But you somehow think you are not dependent on your spouse but the vary nature of them being your spouse?

No, I just think by nature and personality, we are independent people - more so than a lot of couples and so the idea of following each others locations or using each others phones just doesn't really come up as something we would think of or want to do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We share. We have nothing to hide. If you are freaking out—that shows me you have something to be worried about. If your lives are as boring as ours it’s no big deal

Do you feel the same way about government surveillance?

Again, you all shock me. You cannot see the difference between sharing information with your spouse and with the U.S. government.

Some of you have lost all common sense and logic. Assuming you had it to begin with with.

Personally, I don’t have a problem with that either. They are already doing it - might as well be upfront and more efficient about it. I would be in favor of facial recognition cameras everywhere. It would solve a lot of problems.

[Anonymous]

We don't have location sharing turned on on our phones but the cars have an app and they show location all the time, so if I need to know when my husband will be home, for example, I can check the car app.

It doesn't bother me to have my location shared with him, it's just not turned on. We also have each other's phone passwords, but we never check the phones - it's just for convenience.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:His response is way over the top. DH and I share locations. I think I have checked it twice. I actually forgot we shared. Now we share location with our kids and that is super convenient.

Op here. Yeah we share with our teens too and I find it to be convenient. That’s why I asked. I have no intention or desire to track him all the time, just the occasions when I am waiting on him and wondering how long it’ll take to get to where I am.

But he sees it as some strange trust issue.

Is his phone password protected? If so do you know the password?

[Anonymous]

Meh. Sharing is weird. You’re an adult. If you’re out and about and something happens and you need his help, you’ll call. If it’s something serious, fire truck/ambulance/police will arrive to help you before he does. Sharing locations is just another manifestation of the constant state of anxiety everyone has now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is it weird to want to share locations with your spouse?

I asked my husband to share with me yesterday and he blew up. At first, I got kind of suspicious because what do you mean, you don’t want to share your location with me? Why not? What are you hiding?

But then he explained from his pov it sounded like I was implying he is untrustworthy and that I feel like I need to check up on him.

This isn’t the case. I wanted to share just because sometimes I idly wonder what time he’ll be home or if he can stop at a grocery store on his way etc. and I assumed it would be easier and simpler for me to check his location than to text him and wait for him to respond back. Constantly texting him to pick stuff up on his way home feels like nagging and bothering him.

Anyway, what side are you on? Is it weird or not?

Oh sure.

I'm not OP but the only times I've ever tracked my husband's location (through his car, not his phone) were (1) to see when he'd be home with the kids so I could have dinner ready when they walked in and (2) to see if he had left the grocery store yet because I forgot to put an item on the list.

What is it with you people who think something else is happening?

[Anonymous]

I share locations with my spouse, children, mother, sister, and in-laws, including my sister-in-law and nieces. We also have several active group texts that include mundane photos of our dinners and sunset walks. I think we've always been like this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Its a really weird and immature reaction, kind of suspicious. But its fine to not want to be tracked, especially if your spouse wants to know how close you are to do quick errands for them. I think most people would not find those asks so innocent, its a bit controlling as you wouldn't know what they still have for work or other issues that they then need to notify you of all small things.
If its just used out of safety and not judged, questioned or used to justify demands, it would be ok. If spouse doesn't mind extra errand asks based on where partner sees your location, then that is great for you but not something all are comfortable with.

I don't even understand what you are trying to say with this word salad.

If the dry cleaning needs to be picked up and I see that my husband has already driven past there then I'm not going to ask him to get it. And I didn't have to text him while he's driving or call while he may be on a work call. If you think asking someone to pick up the dry cleaning while they're driving by it is a "demand" then we are just fundamentally different people.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Meh. Sharing is weird. You’re an adult. If you’re out and about and something happens and you need his help, you’ll call. If it’s something serious, fire truck/ambulance/police will arrive to help you before he does. Sharing locations is just another manifestation of the constant state of anxiety everyone has now.

This made me laugh because "Meh. Sharing is weird." comes across as so juvenile.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We used to share locations. His hours were erratic and it was easier to check if he’d left work at the end of the day than for him to call and say he was on his way and less annoying than me calling him and “hounding” him. I used it to time dinner. Not a big deal, or so I thought.

When he walked out on me, it was one of the reasons he gave — saying he felt trapped because “I was constantly monitoring him.”

Of course it was an affair. I had no idea because I wasn’t actually tracking him.

Divorced now.

Yup, he was upset that you could track him because he was actually sneaking around having an affair.

This!

So why do the people saying they wouldn't share their location with their spouse use as their reason if not this?