Location sharing with spouse

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Its a really weird and immature reaction, kind of suspicious. But its fine to not want to be tracked, especially if your spouse wants to know how close you are to do quick errands for them. I think most people would not find those asks so innocent, its a bit controlling as you wouldn't know what they still have for work or other issues that they then need to notify you of all small things.
If its just used out of safety and not judged, questioned or used to justify demands, it would be ok. If spouse doesn't mind extra errand asks based on where partner sees your location, then that is great for you but not something all are comfortable with.

You think it’s not innocent to ask your spouse to pick up a couple groceries on the way home if you can see they have not left the office?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The man just wants his space, let him have it.

LOL I mean, you'll have the affair either way, why not just be up front about it?

[Anonymous]

Yes you need his location. What if something happens and he is unreachable. You could send help

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It feels odd as most people's only experience with location sharing is before 21 with their moms monitoring it to keep them out of trouble. The idea of someone only using your location even if only for emergencies sounds like parenting to them.

Cell phones didn't exist when I was 21.

[Anonymous]

I know couples that location share for logistical purposes, and it seems to work well for them. Neither I or DH have every expressed interest in doing so with each other, but I don't think he's have a strong reaction if I were to suggest it. I just don't need someone knowing where I am at every moment of my life. I'm not doing anything shady, I just enjoy autonomy.

[Anonymous]

No we don't share, nor would I. We very occasioally turn it on if one of us will be alone in a remote place just for safety but otherwise no. I don't need to know where he is every single second and he doesn't need to know where I am. I have zero interest in tracking him and have zero interest in being tracked. I am someone that likes privacy and wouldn't be with someone who needed to be able to check on me 24/7 and know where I was at all times.

And if my teen daugher told me that her boyfriend wanted to track her and needed to know where she is at all times, I would not tell her oh that is so sweet and loving, he just clearly cares about you so much. I would tell her to run.

[Anonymous]

We do this with each other and both kids (18 and 22). It's for safety reasons, and we have an understanding that no one is going to use it in bad faith.

[Anonymous]

Sorry, op, but if my partner reacted like that I’d feel extremely suspicious and alienated.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is it weird to want to share locations with your spouse?

I asked my husband to share with me yesterday and he blew up. At first, I got kind of suspicious because what do you mean, you don’t want to share your location with me? Why not? What are you hiding?

But then he explained from his pov it sounded like I was implying he is untrustworthy and that I feel like I need to check up on him.

This isn’t the case. I wanted to share just because sometimes I idly wonder what time he’ll be home or if he can stop at a grocery store on his way etc. and I assumed it would be easier and simpler for me to check his location than to text him and wait for him to respond back. Constantly texting him to pick stuff up on his way home feels like nagging and bothering him.

Anyway, what side are you on? Is it weird or not?

Oh sure.

DP: I absolutley use it for this, especially when everone is out of the house and coming home at different times from more than 30 minutes away. When the last one starts heading toward home, I start dinner. It's awesome becaue I WFH and it lets me keep working up to the last minute and makes sure dinner isn't done too early and cold or too late with hungry cranky teens.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It feels odd as most people's only experience with location sharing is before 21 with their moms monitoring it to keep them out of trouble. The idea of someone only using your location even if only for emergencies sounds like parenting to them.

It’s completely unreal. Young people track their friends all the time.

[Anonymous]

He’s cheating.

You can go in his phone and see his most visited locations to see what the shady place is that he’s going to.

Normal people just share their location. It’s not a big deal.

People with something to hide do not share their location and are shady.

My son’s share locations with each other and we got one of those weird spam was in college saying that he was in jail and that we needed to send money and my younger son just looked up his location. I could see he was in his apartment.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No we don't share, nor would I. We very occasioally turn it on if one of us will be alone in a remote place just for safety but otherwise no. I don't need to know where he is every single second and he doesn't need to know where I am. I have zero interest in tracking him and have zero interest in being tracked. I am someone that likes privacy and wouldn't be with someone who needed to be able to check on me 24/7 and know where I was at all times.

And if my teen daugher told me that her boyfriend wanted to track her and needed to know where she is at all times, I would not tell her oh that is so sweet and loving, he just clearly cares about you so much. I would tell her to run.

It's pretty sad that you relate adult marriages with teen flings. Beyond bizarre to consider those the same situation.

[Anonymous]

We share locations. On the occasion I can't get ahold of DH, I can see where he is. If that location was a hospital, I'd know something bad happened. However, I do not track him. I think I have used it a handful of times, when I was expecting him back already and he didn't respond.

Same with my kids.

to the poster who said she would not be okay with her teenage daughters boyfriend tracking her--neither would I. But teenage boyfriend is not the same as spouse and father of your kids, or your own child.

[Anonymous]

My husband is terrible with time. He say he is leaving work at 5:30. Even text and say he's leaving in 10 minutes. And then leaves 30 minutes later. I like being able to track because I know if he's left work so I can time dinner and not have to do the pissed off "you didn't leave" text. It saves us fights and he's totally okay with it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I know couples that location share for logistical purposes, and it seems to work well for them. Neither I or DH have every expressed interest in doing so with each other, but I don't think he's have a strong reaction if I were to suggest it. I just don't need someone knowing where I am at every moment of my life. I'm not doing anything shady, I just enjoy autonomy.

Autonomy is about having control over your own behavior and actions without coercive external manipulation. Your autonomy is not changed by letting someone check where you are if they need to. Simply being aware of your location is not controling you. If it were used for a manipulative purpose or to control your behavior in some way, then you have problems in the relationship unrelated to one's ability to know where you are. Fear of location tracking should be viewed as a symptom of another problem in the relationship.