SIL plotted to inherit estates from childless aunts

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What you call "schmoozing", unmarried aunts might call "company." Being elderly is lonely. Yes, it's nice that you've visited for all these years 1-2x a year, but if SIL calls once or twice a week every week and chats away with them....well, I'd leave her money, too. That's legitimately kind and thoughtful.

Is there a chance that they legitimately feel closer to her than to you or your brother?

You’d leave her money too or leave her, and only her, all the money?

One aunt is leaving some money and donating the rest. Seems nobody likes OP and her family here.

The brother, SIL and two aunts do not like OP or her husband or her kids? Wow.
Who said or claimed that?
Good to know. The SIL’s last man standing estrangement plan worked better than expected. Easy peasy.

If not one but both aunts don’t want to leave you anything you might want to take a look in the mirror. This old woman would rather leave it to charity.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Recency bias is real OP. Forget the last 50 years, all that matters is the last few.

Unfortunately this ended up as a First Come, First Served situation and the relatives didn’t care that it was a spouse of a relative nor to ask around.

Bear in mind, the executioner of a will can, in reality, do whatever s/he wants with the house, money, art, vehicles, or even body. That’s the prize. That’s why an aunt would want the most truthworthy non-family member following the orders— surely an out of state schmoozing spouse of a nephew…

Sorry Op, you’ve all been had. That’s why it’s a secret.

Yeah, no! I’ve been the executor of two estates. I had to follow the wishes of the deceased as stated in the wills. I got 0% more than anyone else.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Exhibit A on why everyone should keep a very close eye on their parents and childless elderly relatives. Have you visited your aunts more often you would have known.

Known what?

A bad agent snuck around to get power and control? They’re all hoping that truth never comes to light.

That the SIL is plotting something! Duh

[Anonymous]

Always keep tabs on your sickly old relatives, always.

Also don’t let anyone from your family manage your property.

Two life lessons for me

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Recency bias is real OP. Forget the last 50 years, all that matters is the last few.

Unfortunately this ended up as a First Come, First Served situation and the relatives didn’t care that it was a spouse of a relative nor to ask around.

Bear in mind, the executioner of a will can, in reality, do whatever s/he wants with the house, money, art, vehicles, or even body. That’s the prize. That’s why an aunt would want the most truthworthy non-family member following the orders— surely an out of state schmoozing spouse of a nephew…

Sorry Op, you’ve all been had. That’s why it’s a secret.

How can the executor do whatever they want with the house when there are other heirs? I also do not see how an executor could do whatever they want with anything that can be tracked, like money.

How can the executor not do whatever she wants?

Because there are laws governing probate. The executor isn’t always an heir. An executor can charge a fee for performing their duties as executor, but they don’t inherit the estate just because they’re the executor.

The first entities who receive money from the estate are creditors who are owed by the deceased. The deceased’s bills have to be paid off. If the executor is charging a fee, that fee is one of the bills that have to be paid. Then, if the deceased had a legally binding will, the will determines where the remainder of their assets go after creditors have been paid from the estate.

If the deceased did not have a legally binding will, state law determines who inherits and what portions of the estate they get. Surviving spouse is first in line. In some states, everything goes to the surviving spouse. In other states, spouse and children each get shares. If there’s no surviving spouse, the children get equal shares. If there’s no spouse or children, the estate could go to grandchildren in equal shares or if there are none, to the deceased’s surviving parents, and if there’s are none, to surviving siblings.

Forgot to mention that the executor needs to maintain meticulous records to account for every penny to the probate court and a judge has to give their blessing for the estate to be settled.

There are strategic ways to keep assets out of probate, but the deceased has to have made these legal and financial arrangements in advance.

AMEN. It’s a ton of work and you have to balance it perfectly. I will never be an executor again. I was for my husband, but he left everything to me. My mom’s involved kids and grandkids. I regret not hiring a professional and paying them from the estate.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Exhibit A on why everyone should keep a very close eye on their parents and childless elderly relatives. Have you visited your aunts more often you would have known.

Known what?

A bad agent snuck around to get power and control? They’re all hoping that truth never comes to light.

They certainly didn't do a good job considering the aunt's ex husband knew, and they don't have mutual children. And OP learned about the other aunt from someone else. Doesn't seem like any of it is a big secret or conspiracy, OP just doesn't talk to her aunts and isn't in the loop.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She works the systems to her advantage. Gross.

Your brother looks the other way. Weak.

This

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What you call "schmoozing", unmarried aunts might call "company." Being elderly is lonely. Yes, it's nice that you've visited for all these years 1-2x a year, but if SIL calls once or twice a week every week and chats away with them....well, I'd leave her money, too. That's legitimately kind and thoughtful.

Is there a chance that they legitimately feel closer to her than to you or your brother?

I would hope that if I decided to do something stupid by arbitrarily disinheriting some family members, a close friend or family member would discuss the matter with me and make sure I'm aware of the consequences. If I have good reasons, that's fine and can be elucidated in such a conversation. Sometimes we all need a gentle reminder to reconsider our actions.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What you call "schmoozing", unmarried aunts might call "company." Being elderly is lonely. Yes, it's nice that you've visited for all these years 1-2x a year, but if SIL calls once or twice a week every week and chats away with them....well, I'd leave her money, too. That's legitimately kind and thoughtful.

Is there a chance that they legitimately feel closer to her than to you or your brother?

I would hope that if I decided to do something stupid by arbitrarily disinheriting some family members, a close friend or family member would discuss the matter with me and make sure I'm aware of the consequences. If I have good reasons, that's fine and can be elucidated in such a conversation. Sometimes we all need a gentle reminder to reconsider our actions.

This doesn’t seem like it was arbitrary.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What you call "schmoozing", unmarried aunts might call "company." Being elderly is lonely. Yes, it's nice that you've visited for all these years 1-2x a year, but if SIL calls once or twice a week every week and chats away with them....well, I'd leave her money, too. That's legitimately kind and thoughtful.

Is there a chance that they legitimately feel closer to her than to you or your brother?

I would hope that if I decided to do something stupid by arbitrarily disinheriting some family members, a close friend or family member would discuss the matter with me and make sure I'm aware of the consequences. If I have good reasons, that's fine and can be elucidated in such a conversation. Sometimes we all need a gentle reminder to reconsider our actions.

You’re dead…what consequences?

[Anonymous]

Lots of mean drama queens like to cause trouble and resentments from the grave. Easiest way is to not split your estate equally, but have a favorite.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What you call "schmoozing", unmarried aunts might call "company." Being elderly is lonely. Yes, it's nice that you've visited for all these years 1-2x a year, but if SIL calls once or twice a week every week and chats away with them....well, I'd leave her money, too. That's legitimately kind and thoughtful.

Is there a chance that they legitimately feel closer to her than to you or your brother?

I would hope that if I decided to do something stupid by arbitrarily disinheriting some family members, a close friend or family member would discuss the matter with me and make sure I'm aware of the consequences. If I have good reasons, that's fine and can be elucidated in such a conversation. Sometimes we all need a gentle reminder to reconsider our actions.

This doesn’t seem like it was arbitrary.

Aunt sick and dying in the hospital changing her will to a wife of a nephew!?! lol.
Then hospital divorce was probably mainly to not bankrupt the healthy spouse and get on Medicaid and free hospice asap.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What you call "schmoozing", unmarried aunts might call "company." Being elderly is lonely. Yes, it's nice that you've visited for all these years 1-2x a year, but if SIL calls once or twice a week every week and chats away with them....well, I'd leave her money, too. That's legitimately kind and thoughtful.

Is there a chance that they legitimately feel closer to her than to you or your brother?

I would hope that if I decided to do something stupid by arbitrarily disinheriting some family members, a close friend or family member would discuss the matter with me and make sure I'm aware of the consequences. If I have good reasons, that's fine and can be elucidated in such a conversation. Sometimes we all need a gentle reminder to reconsider our actions.

This doesn’t seem like it was arbitrary.

Aunt sick and dying in the hospital changing her will to a wife of a nephew!?! lol.
Then hospital divorce was probably mainly to not bankrupt the healthy spouse and get on Medicaid and free hospice asap.

OP only just found out about it, but SIL was named as their executor years ago. OP doesn’t really know the details regarding how this came to pass. Apparently, SIL has had a relationship with these aunts that OP knew nothing about. OP is really in no position to judge the aunts or SIL.

[Anonymous]

If someone’s dumb enough to get schmoozed the last 5-10% of their life, that’s all I need to know about them!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What you call "schmoozing", unmarried aunts might call "company." Being elderly is lonely. Yes, it's nice that you've visited for all these years 1-2x a year, but if SIL calls once or twice a week every week and chats away with them....well, I'd leave her money, too. That's legitimately kind and thoughtful.

Is there a chance that they legitimately feel closer to her than to you or your brother?

I would hope that if I decided to do something stupid by arbitrarily disinheriting some family members, a close friend or family member would discuss the matter with me and make sure I'm aware of the consequences. If I have good reasons, that's fine and can be elucidated in such a conversation. Sometimes we all need a gentle reminder to reconsider our actions.

This doesn’t seem like it was arbitrary.

Aunt sick and dying in the hospital changing her will to a wife of a nephew!?! lol.
Then hospital divorce was probably mainly to not bankrupt the healthy spouse and get on Medicaid and free hospice asap.

Has she been sick and dying for 5+ years? That’s a long con for sure.