First dates feel like job interviews

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would try dating women in their thirties. Perhaps women in their twenties have the time and energy to be a bit more strict and focused about the college/career of the men they are considering, while women in their thirties have dated enough to realize that isn't what always matters the most in a partner. I say this as a woman.

When we're in our twenties, we're striving for a dream man; when we're in our thirties, we're searching for a good man.

I guess the problem is women don’t make this shift until it’s too late a lot of the time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here

I am not only interested in women who are in their mid 20s. I will date a 28 or 29 year old. I am just looking for help/advice on how to have better dates and connect with people. I know DC tends to be career oriented, but my dating experience here seems indistinguishable from a holiday work party that everyone is forced to attend. I was hoping people could give me some advice. I am not going to start screening my potential dates with a video call/zoom meeting.

Why will you date a 29 year old but not a 30 year old?

29 is old for a woman if you’re a man with options who wants a family. If I were a single early 30’s man and couldn’t land a mid 20’s woman in the US I’d go abroad to find one before I settled down with an older woman from here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here

I am not only interested in women who are in their mid 20s. I will date a 28 or 29 year old. I am just looking for help/advice on how to have better dates and connect with people. I know DC tends to be career oriented, but my dating experience here seems indistinguishable from a holiday work party that everyone is forced to attend. I was hoping people could give me some advice. I am not going to start screening my potential dates with a video call/zoom meeting.

Why will you date a 29 year old but not a 30 year old?

29 is old for a woman if you’re a man with options who wants a family. If I were a single early 30’s man and couldn’t land a mid 20’s woman in the US I’d go abroad to find one before I settled down with an older woman from here.

6 months does not an "older woman" make. That's the difference between 29.5 and 30.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here

I am not only interested in women who are in their mid 20s. I will date a 28 or 29 year old. I am just looking for help/advice on how to have better dates and connect with people. I know DC tends to be career oriented, but my dating experience here seems indistinguishable from a holiday work party that everyone is forced to attend. I was hoping people could give me some advice. I am not going to start screening my potential dates with a video call/zoom meeting.

Why will you date a 29 year old but not a 30 year old?

29 is old for a woman if you’re a man with options who wants a family. If I were a single early 30’s man and couldn’t land a mid 20’s woman in the US I’d go abroad to find one before I settled down with an older woman from here.

Ew, no one wants to hear about your sex tourism and how the only women interested in you are poor, uneducated, impoverished women who see nothing but a green card.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
I’m a normal person who is allergic to any sign of gender stereotyping, so I follow the Ms Manners rules of whoever invited does the paying. If it is mutual then split/take turns.

Yeah, I bet. How many guys have you invited out for a first or second date to dinner?

There's an exception to every rule. It's you.

Women spend more on dating by investing in their looks and wardrobe. It would be economically unfair if they also split dinners. Go out with homey women in T-shirts they might pay for you dinners.

Women dress for impressing other women. Men for the most part don't care what a woman wears, as long as it is clean.

Many women also feel the same way about men. I like a guy in jeans and tshirts and boots rather than spiffed up wearing more girly fancy attire. Looks more manly.

Manly man steering his cattle down K Street

Hmmm.... I thought hiking boots..... that would be a fun second date - then I can wear mine too.

[Anonymous]

Have you considered your alumni group, both college and high school?
It's hard to meet new people but someone with a shared background doesn't present an insurmountable stranger-ness.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Have you considered your alumni group, both college and high school?
It's hard to meet new people but someone with a shared background doesn't present an insurmountable stranger-ness.

Might be hard to find someone a decade younger

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here

I am not only interested in women who are in their mid 20s. I will date a 28 or 29 year old. I am just looking for help/advice on how to have better dates and connect with people. I know DC tends to be career oriented, but my dating experience here seems indistinguishable from a holiday work party that everyone is forced to attend. I was hoping people could give me some advice. I am not going to start screening my potential dates with a video call/zoom meeting.

Why will you date a 29 year old but not a 30 year old?

29 is old for a woman if you’re a man with options who wants a family. If I were a single early 30’s man and couldn’t land a mid 20’s woman in the US I’d go abroad to find one before I settled down with an older woman from here.

Smart man. After returning to DC after living in Latin America for 2 years, I tried dating here but it was just a waste of time. Not only did every date feel like a job interview, but they were just not fun to be around. They were frumpy, masculine, and wanted to talk about politics or where they went to school. And of course their job! They always had to brag about how they're somebody really important.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here

I am not only interested in women who are in their mid 20s. I will date a 28 or 29 year old. I am just looking for help/advice on how to have better dates and connect with people. I know DC tends to be career oriented, but my dating experience here seems indistinguishable from a holiday work party that everyone is forced to attend. I was hoping people could give me some advice. I am not going to start screening my potential dates with a video call/zoom meeting.

Why will you date a 29 year old but not a 30 year old?

29 is old for a woman if you’re a man with options who wants a family. If I were a single early 30’s man and couldn’t land a mid 20’s woman in the US I’d go abroad to find one before I settled down with an older woman from here.

Smart man. After returning to DC after living in Latin America for 2 years, I tried dating here but it was just a waste of time. Not only did every date feel like a job interview, but they were just not fun to be around. They were frumpy, masculine, and wanted to talk about politics or where they went to school. And of course their job! They always had to brag about how they're somebody really important.

I don't know why you are not successful on the apps. As a mom of a young son in his 20s, he tells me there are many pretty women in DC. Plenty of young grads come to work at WB, IMF, IFC as well. A lot of them are foreign, from the same Latin America countries or European. Probably they just don't match you on the apps for some reason

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Have you considered your alumni group, both college and high school?
It's hard to meet new people but someone with a shared background doesn't present an insurmountable stranger-ness.

Might be hard to find someone a decade younger

Not if the man is in any reasonable shape at all, 10-15 years is about right for age gap, since men age and mature much more slowly than women.

More than 20 years age gap is difficult and requires some really good looks or great charm.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am a man in my early 30s and every first date feels like a job interview. I have tried coffee dates, meeting at bars, walking dogs at parks, and lunch dates. The conversations are dry and they always seem to center around college and career. The dates are never fun or engaging. I am aiming for women in the age range of 25 to 29 who have at least a bachelors degree. What can I do to genuinely connect with someone in the first few dates ?

Date someone you’re own age…

For a man in his early 30s, he should be dating women around 18-25 on average if he wants a wife.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Have you considered your alumni group, both college and high school?
It's hard to meet new people but someone with a shared background doesn't present an insurmountable stranger-ness.

Might be hard to find someone a decade younger

Well, then you have to live with the interview stranger danger questions then.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Have you considered your alumni group, both college and high school?
It's hard to meet new people but someone with a shared background doesn't present an insurmountable stranger-ness.

Might be hard to find someone a decade younger

Not if the man is in any reasonable shape at all, 10-15 years is about right for age gap, since men age and mature much more slowly than women.

More than 20 years age gap is difficult and requires some really good looks or great charm.

It’s always old gross losers who seem to push this narrative.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here

I am not only interested in women who are in their mid 20s. I will date a 28 or 29 year old. I am just looking for help/advice on how to have better dates and connect with people. I know DC tends to be career oriented, but my dating experience here seems indistinguishable from a holiday work party that everyone is forced to attend. I was hoping people could give me some advice. I am not going to start screening my potential dates with a video call/zoom meeting.

Why will you date a 29 year old but not a 30 year old?

29 is old for a woman if you’re a man with options who wants a family. If I were a single early 30’s man and couldn’t land a mid 20’s woman in the US I’d go abroad to find one before I settled down with an older woman from here.

Ew, no one wants to hear about your sex tourism and how the only women interested in you are poor, uneducated, impoverished women who see nothing but a green card.

Your attitude is why men go abroad in the first place.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here

I am not only interested in women who are in their mid 20s. I will date a 28 or 29 year old. I am just looking for help/advice on how to have better dates and connect with people. I know DC tends to be career oriented, but my dating experience here seems indistinguishable from a holiday work party that everyone is forced to attend. I was hoping people could give me some advice. I am not going to start screening my potential dates with a video call/zoom meeting.

Why will you date a 29 year old but not a 30 year old?

29 is old for a woman if you’re a man with options who wants a family. If I were a single early 30’s man and couldn’t land a mid 20’s woman in the US I’d go abroad to find one before I settled down with an older woman from here.

Smart man. After returning to DC after living in Latin America for 2 years, I tried dating here but it was just a waste of time. Not only did every date feel like a job interview, but they were just not fun to be around. They were frumpy, masculine, and wanted to talk about politics or where they went to school. And of course their job! They always had to brag about how they're somebody really important.

I don't know why you are not successful on the apps. As a mom of a young son in his 20s, he tells me there are many pretty women in DC. Plenty of young grads come to work at WB, IMF, IFC as well. A lot of them are foreign, from the same Latin America countries or European. Probably they just don't match you on the apps for some reason

Maybe your son likes the women in DC because he has nothing to compare them to? I have ok success in terms of matches and going on dates, but I think the cold demeanor is the biggest turn off.