First dates feel like job interviews

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am a man in my early 30s and every first date feels like a job interview. I have tried coffee dates, meeting at bars, walking dogs at parks, and lunch dates. The conversations are dry and they always seem to center around college and career. The dates are never fun or engaging. I am aiming for women in the age range of 25 to 29 who have at least a bachelors degree. What can I do to genuinely connect with someone in the first few dates ?

It sounds like you are interviewing for the things that are important to you, and they are interviewing for the things that are important to them.

Often times women are more aware of what it costs to have a family and how difficult fertility can be. You may be naive to these issues. Consider that they are right to make this a priority and you are maybe not informed or not taking the long view.

This. Men always have requirements for age and attractiveness, but then bristle when women have requirements for wealth and education.

Pick a woman in your price range.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am a man in my early 30s and every first date feels like a job interview. I have tried coffee dates, meeting at bars, walking dogs at parks, and lunch dates. The conversations are dry and they always seem to center around college and career. The dates are never fun or engaging. I am aiming for women in the age range of 25 to 29 who have at least a bachelors degree. What can I do to genuinely connect with someone in the first few dates ?

LOL. Found your problem bud. Are you allergic to 30 year olds women?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am a man in my early 30s and every first date feels like a job interview. I have tried coffee dates, meeting at bars, walking dogs at parks, and lunch dates. The conversations are dry and they always seem to center around college and career. The dates are never fun or engaging. I am aiming for women in the age range of 25 to 29 who have at least a bachelors degree. What can I do to genuinely connect with someone in the first few dates ?

They're probably trying to run off men who are unserious and unaware of what it takes to build a stable future together. Deterring you is intentional. They're better off not wasting time with someone who doesn't get it. It's called Burn the Haystack dating method.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am a man in my early 30s and every first date feels like a job interview. I have tried coffee dates, meeting at bars, walking dogs at parks, and lunch dates. The conversations are dry and they always seem to center around college and career. The dates are never fun or engaging. I am aiming for women in the age range of 25 to 29 who have at least a bachelors degree. What can I do to genuinely connect with someone in the first few dates ?

It sounds like you are interviewing for the things that are important to you, and they are interviewing for the things that are important to them.

Often times women are more aware of what it costs to have a family and how difficult fertility can be. You may be naive to these issues. Consider that they are right to make this a priority and you are maybe not informed or not taking the long view.

This. Men always have requirements for age and attractiveness, but then bristle when women have requirements for wealth and education.

Pick a woman in your price range.

Its true. I had ridiculous standards in my twenties, but for every guy I turned down, I had 10 in queue. Attractive, intelligent women in their twenties are well aware of their market value.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would never agree to wonder around town with a total stranger that I have zero information about. I'm in my 40s and have a high paying career, my time is very limited and valuable. I pre-screen men over the phone or on a video call before I go out with anyone.

Try to have video intros and phone calls prior to meeting in RL.

What's wrong with them wanting to know your career and degree before they start going out with you? I don't want to waste my time on someone without any aspirations and boring

I think you are the kind of women OP is trying to avoid. And too old.

I date 40-50s men. Never an issue for an "interview" first date over a video call or simple coffee. I'm not casually dating/having sex with people I don't know

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am a man in my early 30s and every first date feels like a job interview. I have tried coffee dates, meeting at bars, walking dogs at parks, and lunch dates. The conversations are dry and they always seem to center around college and career. The dates are never fun or engaging. I am aiming for women in the age range of 25 to 29 who have at least a bachelors degree. What can I do to genuinely connect with someone in the first few dates ?

It sounds like you are interviewing for the things that are important to you, and they are interviewing for the things that are important to them.

Often times women are more aware of what it costs to have a family and how difficult fertility can be. You may be naive to these issues. Consider that they are right to make this a priority and you are maybe not informed or not taking the long view.

This. Men always have requirements for age and attractiveness, but then bristle when women have requirements for wealth and education.

Pick a woman in your price range.

Its true. I had ridiculous standards in my twenties, but for every guy I turned down, I had 10 in queue. Attractive, intelligent women in their twenties are well aware of their market value.

“I want a genuine connection but she has to be 25 years old and hot!”

Men, if you can only connect with women 10 years younger and hotter than you are, that says a lot about your ability to connect with people.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am a man in my early 30s and every first date feels like a job interview. I have tried coffee dates, meeting at bars, walking dogs at parks, and lunch dates. The conversations are dry and they always seem to center around college and career. The dates are never fun or engaging. I am aiming for women in the age range of 25 to 29 who have at least a bachelors degree. What can I do to genuinely connect with someone in the first few dates ?

So you have transactional requirements - bachelor degree, 10 years younger than you, pretty. But you don't want to give them an opportunity to get to know YOU better before they hang out with you at bars/open legs?

Seems like you are trying to date the pretty women who are looking for LTR and marriage, whereby you are just interested in casual. You should only contact profiles that say 'short term" or "casual"

[Anonymous]

First dates ARE interviews. Are you recently divorced or something? This is how it’s been for a while. First dates are about piecing together compatibility.

You want someone with a bachelors degree, why do you balk when they ask about college??

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am a man in my early 30s and every first date feels like a job interview. I have tried coffee dates, meeting at bars, walking dogs at parks, and lunch dates. The conversations are dry and they always seem to center around college and career. The dates are never fun or engaging. I am aiming for women in the age range of 25 to 29 who have at least a bachelors degree. What can I do to genuinely connect with someone in the first few dates ?

It sounds like you are interviewing for the things that are important to you, and they are interviewing for the things that are important to them.

Often times women are more aware of what it costs to have a family and how difficult fertility can be. You may be naive to these issues. Consider that they are right to make this a priority and you are maybe not informed or not taking the long view.

This. Men always have requirements for age and attractiveness, but then bristle when women have requirements for wealth and education.

Pick a woman in your price range.

Its true. I had ridiculous standards in my twenties, but for every guy I turned down, I had 10 in queue. Attractive, intelligent women in their twenties are well aware of their market value.

Attractive women have options at any age. I have a queue of 3-4 men for every one I turn down and I'm late 40s.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am a man in my early 30s and every first date feels like a job interview. I have tried coffee dates, meeting at bars, walking dogs at parks, and lunch dates. The conversations are dry and they always seem to center around college and career. The dates are never fun or engaging. I am aiming for women in the age range of 25 to 29 who have at least a bachelors degree. What can I do to genuinely connect with someone in the first few dates ?

“The dates are never fun or engaging”
Bro, aren’t YOU planning the dates? Maybe plan better dates than “let’s go for a walk and pick up dog poo” wtf

[Anonymous]

Do an activity on your first date. It’ll give the date more personality.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why won’t you date women your own age? Maybe they’re icked out at you and pick out your red flags early.

+1
OP why won't you consider dating women your own age?

[Anonymous]

When women date, they are shopping.

When men date, they are on a job interview.

[Anonymous]

Yes it's easy to see that you're looking at these potential hires in terms of age, checking over their resume during the interview. Next you'll be telling them to open their mouth to observe their teeth, and measuring the future broodmare's hips.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would never agree to wonder around town with a total stranger that I have zero information about. I'm in my 40s and have a high paying career, my time is very limited and valuable. I pre-screen men over the phone or on a video call before I go out with anyone.

Try to have video intros and phone calls prior to meeting in RL.

What's wrong with them wanting to know your career and degree before they start going out with you? I don't want to waste my time on someone without any aspirations and boring

That will not work for a man. Women will not stand for it.