Do you say anything if visiting family are dressed inappropriately?

[Anonymous]

Not your place

[Anonymous]

OP, you and your party sound awful. How old are you that you have “cozy business attire” as the dress code and shame a young adult for wearing a mini skirt? And grandma needs to stop judging her family members or they won’t want to be around her anymore.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am a healthy body weight and wore leggings with a mid length sweater to a holiday dinner at my aunt’s house. My overweight cousins body-shamed me at the dinner table and the older one told me not to attend again because she thinks I am a bad influence on her 23 year old daughter. So I have not seen them since. I do still wear leggings when dressed casually.

This. The women who police attire need to work on their own insecurities.

Yeah and funny enough 99% of the bullsh&t attire rules in high school were directed at women. Never men.

Comments like this are either ridiculously naive or purposefully obtuse.
We either are required to believe that you don’t know that men’s bodies and women’s bodies are very different and the entire sex industry is based on titillating men with visual images of women’s body parts (not the reverse—which exists but is only 1/100th of the market) OR you want to pretend that high school girls are choosing to wear a low cut bra top and a mini skirt that hugs their ass simply because it’s more comfortable to wear than an entire shirt and pants or skirts that cover them.
But I suspect that you know why they choose the outfits they do, and the girls know it too.
And the fact that the rules are aimed overwhelmingly at girls is not coincidental or targeted for any other reason than because it’s the girls who choose to wear the revealing clothing that leaves nothing to the imagination.

Fine if you think they should be allowed to dress like they work in a strip club. But it’s silly to pretend that they aren’t dressing that way for attention and that grown-ups allowing them to dress that way has no impact on the biologically hard-wired visual stimulation of the biys and men who encounter girls dressed like that every day. Girls/women do not have that same reaction to the physical form whether they are gay or straight. They just don’t. And for boys/men, they literally have to look away and concentrate mental mental energy on not have a physical display of excitement that the whole world can see.
So yes. “Funny enough” the rules are overwhelmingly directed at women.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your guests are rude if they're side eyeing a kid's mini skirt.

Mini skirts so short that underwear shows are worn to attract attention. Therefore there is no judgment for people who notice. Don’t be ridiculous.

People used to say this about ankles. She deserved it, her ankles were out. They still say it about hair, etc.

So why not go naked? Your privates should remain private, otherwise people will notice and comment.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your guests are rude if they're side eyeing a kid's mini skirt.

Mini skirts so short that underwear shows are worn to attract attention. Therefore there is no judgment for people who notice. Don’t be ridiculous.

People used to say this about ankles. She deserved it, her ankles were out. They still say it about hair, etc.

So why not go naked? Your privates should remain private, otherwise people will notice and comment.

Her privates weren't out. But nice try.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Not your place

More importantly, even if you felt it was your place, you should save your breath because she already knows it’s not appropriate.
She isn’t 12 or even 14.
She is over 18 and she knows.
She deliberately chose her outfit knowing exactly what it highlights and emphasizes and you are all
Just supposed to pretend it’s perfectly acceptable and not point out that the emperor has no clothes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your guests are rude if they're side eyeing a kid's mini skirt.

Mini skirts so short that underwear shows are worn to attract attention. Therefore there is no judgment for people who notice. Don’t be ridiculous.

She was wearing underwear. Nobody saw anything. If she was visibly commando, that’s the only time anyone should take her aside.

No need to “take her aside” in either case because she already knows what her outfit reveals and she chose it on purpose to show off what it shows off. And you’re just supposed to deal.

It’s 2024. This is no longer the era of “don’t dress like a slut—it degrades you and it’s disrespectful to the host and your elders””.” This is the era of “you are a perv for noticing I’m dressed like a slut—stop slut-shaming me”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am a healthy body weight and wore leggings with a mid length sweater to a holiday dinner at my aunt’s house. My overweight cousins body-shamed me at the dinner table and the older one told me not to attend again because she thinks I am a bad influence on her 23 year old daughter. So I have not seen them since. I do still wear leggings when dressed casually.

This. The women who police attire need to work on their own insecurities.

Yeah and funny enough 99% of the bullsh&t attire rules in high school were directed at women. Never men.

Comments like this are either ridiculously naive or purposefully obtuse.
We either are required to believe that you don’t know that men’s bodies and women’s bodies are very different and the entire sex industry is based on titillating men with visual images of women’s body parts (not the reverse—which exists but is only 1/100th of the market) OR you want to pretend that high school girls are choosing to wear a low cut bra top and a mini skirt that hugs their ass simply because it’s more comfortable to wear than an entire shirt and pants or skirts that cover them.
But I suspect that you know why they choose the outfits they do, and the girls know it too.
And the fact that the rules are aimed overwhelmingly at girls is not coincidental or targeted for any other reason than because it’s the girls who choose to wear the revealing clothing that leaves nothing to the imagination.

Fine if you think they should be allowed to dress like they work in a strip club. But it’s silly to pretend that they aren’t dressing that way for attention and that grown-ups allowing them to dress that way has no impact on the biologically hard-wired visual stimulation of the biys and men who encounter girls dressed like that every day. Girls/women do not have that same reaction to the physical form whether they are gay or straight. They just don’t. And for boys/men, they literally have to look away and concentrate mental mental energy on not have a physical display of excitement that the whole world can see.
So yes. “Funny enough” the rules are overwhelmingly directed at women.

So wear a hood over your face. Problem solved.

[Anonymous]

Sorry you're ugly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:In my book leggings = sweats. I would only wear that to a very casual dinner at my home with my family or a girls’ pajama night type dinner.

My fat cousins wear sweats and QVC branded sweatsuits to dinner. That’s not business casual or dressy.

If you are hosting an event with a dress code, it is customary to indicate the dress code on the invitation.

[Anonymous]

I wouldn’t invite them to one of my events again. If they can’t take the time to educate themselves about appropriate dress, then they aren’t worthy of being a guest. It’s offensive to all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am a healthy body weight and wore leggings with a mid length sweater to a holiday dinner at my aunt’s house. My overweight cousins body-shamed me at the dinner table and the older one told me not to attend again because she thinks I am a bad influence on her 23 year old daughter. So I have not seen them since. I do still wear leggings when dressed casually.

This. The women who police attire need to work on their own insecurities.

Yeah and funny enough 99% of the bullsh&t attire rules in high school were directed at women. Never men.

Comments like this are either ridiculously naive or purposefully obtuse.
We either are required to believe that you don’t know that men’s bodies and women’s bodies are very different and the entire sex industry is based on titillating men with visual images of women’s body parts (not the reverse—which exists but is only 1/100th of the market) OR you want to pretend that high school girls are choosing to wear a low cut bra top and a mini skirt that hugs their ass simply because it’s more comfortable to wear than an entire shirt and pants or skirts that cover them.
But I suspect that you know why they choose the outfits they do, and the girls know it too.
And the fact that the rules are aimed overwhelmingly at girls is not coincidental or targeted for any other reason than because it’s the girls who choose to wear the revealing clothing that leaves nothing to the imagination.

Fine if you think they should be allowed to dress like they work in a strip club. But it’s silly to pretend that they aren’t dressing that way for attention and that grown-ups allowing them to dress that way has no impact on the biologically hard-wired visual stimulation of the biys and men who encounter girls dressed like that every day. Girls/women do not have that same reaction to the physical form whether they are gay or straight. They just don’t. And for boys/men, they literally have to look away and concentrate mental mental energy on not have a physical display of excitement that the whole world can see.
So yes. “Funny enough” the rules are overwhelmingly directed at women.

Sounds like boys/men should be working on better coping skills. You can't control women just because you aren't able to control your own gaze.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am a healthy body weight and wore leggings with a mid length sweater to a holiday dinner at my aunt’s house. My overweight cousins body-shamed me at the dinner table and the older one told me not to attend again because she thinks I am a bad influence on her 23 year old daughter. So I have not seen them since. I do still wear leggings when dressed casually.

This. The women who police attire need to work on their own insecurities.

Yeah and funny enough 99% of the bullsh&t attire rules in high school were directed at women. Never men.

Comments like this are either ridiculously naive or purposefully obtuse.
We either are required to believe that you don’t know that men’s bodies and women’s bodies are very different and the entire sex industry is based on titillating men with visual images of women’s body parts (not the reverse—which exists but is only 1/100th of the market) OR you want to pretend that high school girls are choosing to wear a low cut bra top and a mini skirt that hugs their ass simply because it’s more comfortable to wear than an entire shirt and pants or skirts that cover them.
But I suspect that you know why they choose the outfits they do, and the girls know it too.
And the fact that the rules are aimed overwhelmingly at girls is not coincidental or targeted for any other reason than because it’s the girls who choose to wear the revealing clothing that leaves nothing to the imagination.

Fine if you think they should be allowed to dress like they work in a strip club. But it’s silly to pretend that they aren’t dressing that way for attention and that grown-ups allowing them to dress that way has no impact on the biologically hard-wired visual stimulation of the biys and men who encounter girls dressed like that every day. Girls/women do not have that same reaction to the physical form whether they are gay or straight. They just don’t. And for boys/men, they literally have to look away and concentrate mental mental energy on not have a physical display of excitement that the whole world can see.
So yes. “Funny enough” the rules are overwhelmingly directed at women.

Sounds like boys/men should be working on better coping skills. You can't control women just because you aren't able to control your own gaze.

NP but you sound really stupid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am a healthy body weight and wore leggings with a mid length sweater to a holiday dinner at my aunt’s house. My overweight cousins body-shamed me at the dinner table and the older one told me not to attend again because she thinks I am a bad influence on her 23 year old daughter. So I have not seen them since. I do still wear leggings when dressed casually.

This. The women who police attire need to work on their own insecurities.

Yeah and funny enough 99% of the bullsh&t attire rules in high school were directed at women. Never men.

Comments like this are either ridiculously naive or purposefully obtuse.
We either are required to believe that you don’t know that men’s bodies and women’s bodies are very different and the entire sex industry is based on titillating men with visual images of women’s body parts (not the reverse—which exists but is only 1/100th of the market) OR you want to pretend that high school girls are choosing to wear a low cut bra top and a mini skirt that hugs their ass simply because it’s more comfortable to wear than an entire shirt and pants or skirts that cover them.
But I suspect that you know why they choose the outfits they do, and the girls know it too.
And the fact that the rules are aimed overwhelmingly at girls is not coincidental or targeted for any other reason than because it’s the girls who choose to wear the revealing clothing that leaves nothing to the imagination.

Fine if you think they should be allowed to dress like they work in a strip club. But it’s silly to pretend that they aren’t dressing that way for attention and that grown-ups allowing them to dress that way has no impact on the biologically hard-wired visual stimulation of the biys and men who encounter girls dressed like that every day. Girls/women do not have that same reaction to the physical form whether they are gay or straight. They just don’t. And for boys/men, they literally have to look away and concentrate mental mental energy on not have a physical display of excitement that the whole world can see.
So yes. “Funny enough” the rules are overwhelmingly directed at women.

So delightful to hear from the Taliban contingent. The latest restriction on Afghan women is that they cannot be visible to neighbors from within their own homes. Opinions like the one expressed above need to be called out and ripped to shreds every time because this is how it begins. MEN are responsible for controlling themselves. Full stop.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:While not popular, there are events where appropriate dress should be observed. It's more about making other people feel comfortable and not making awkward situations.

At a high school winter concert some of the girls in the front row of the orchestra sat with their knees open providing a direct visual of their crotch. They wore black dresses as directed by the music teacher but he neglected to understand that most of these kids are very working class (think Queens and Bay Ridge) and probably never wore a dress in their lives.
I sent a note suggesting that mothers remind their daughters how to sit in a dress and was attacked for it just like so many here are doing. There was no follow up when I suggested that these events are also about comportment and polish for the eventual job interviews these kids will have to go on. HR would think these kids sitting manspread style grew up in a barnyard.

If you're not going to dress or behave that way for a job interview then you shouldn't dress or behave that way for other social events. Showing up in an outfit that is distracting and puts others in an awkward situation simply reflects poorly on the wearer.

She wasn't on stage or at a job interview; she was at a family house party wearing totally normal teen dress clothes.

“Normal” does not mean appropriate.