I feel like I failed my kids

[Anonymous]

OP, we are in a similar boat but two years ago. The problem is that people tell you that there is no chance whatsoever your kid could be competitive for the very top schools and now it is starting to look like, perhaps, they will be competitive. We would try to cash flow and sell some retirement but only for a very small number of schools (HMP, maybe Columbia and Penn).

[Anonymous]

type - not two years ago, two years behind

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The time to discuss financial realities with kids is beginning of 10th grade.

If Pepperdine is not an option, they should know that right at the beginning. If Alabama is offering full rides for bright students, they should know that. If Princeton meets all financial need, they should know that. If State U is manageable, they should know that. If Colby is a dream school but not remotely possible, they should know that. If they have siblings, and everything needs to be fair and equitable, they should know that. And if it's merit or community college, they should know that.

Kids are remarkably adaptable and focused when they know the parameters. And they know what they need to do to go to where they want to go. Tell them what's what with what you can afford in 10th grade. And then explain merit. And list the 30 or so schools that meet all need - provided they can get in. Assure them it's all going to work out, but ultimately, the options will be up to them depending on how they perform in high school. And the better they do, the more options they'll have.

When kids feel like they are in charge of their destiny, they do better. But they need to understand the parameters. There aren't a lot of families that can drop $800,000 on two kids going to middling private colleges. But everyone can go to MIT if they can get in.

Kids - families - need to understand the game, the costs, the barriers, and how to play the game.

Um, no.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The time to discuss financial realities with kids is beginning of 10th grade.

If Pepperdine is not an option, they should know that right at the beginning. If Alabama is offering full rides for bright students, they should know that. If Princeton meets all financial need, they should know that. If State U is manageable, they should know that. If Colby is a dream school but not remotely possible, they should know that. If they have siblings, and everything needs to be fair and equitable, they should know that. And if it's merit or community college, they should know that.

Kids are remarkably adaptable and focused when they know the parameters. And they know what they need to do to go to where they want to go. Tell them what's what with what you can afford in 10th grade. And then explain merit. And list the 30 or so schools that meet all need - provided they can get in. Assure them it's all going to work out, but ultimately, the options will be up to them depending on how they perform in high school. And the better they do, the more options they'll have.

When kids feel like they are in charge of their destiny, they do better. But they need to understand the parameters. There aren't a lot of families that can drop $800,000 on two kids going to middling private colleges. But everyone can go to MIT if they can get in.

Kids - families - need to understand the game, the costs, the barriers, and how to play the game.

Um, no.

Isn't this literally the case? What is stopping someone with an acceptance letter from enrolling?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The time to discuss financial realities with kids is beginning of 10th grade.

If Pepperdine is not an option, they should know that right at the beginning. If Alabama is offering full rides for bright students, they should know that. If Princeton meets all financial need, they should know that. If State U is manageable, they should know that. If Colby is a dream school but not remotely possible, they should know that. If they have siblings, and everything needs to be fair and equitable, they should know that. And if it's merit or community college, they should know that.

Kids are remarkably adaptable and focused when they know the parameters. And they know what they need to do to go to where they want to go. Tell them what's what with what you can afford in 10th grade. And then explain merit. And list the 30 or so schools that meet all need - provided they can get in. Assure them it's all going to work out, but ultimately, the options will be up to them depending on how they perform in high school. And the better they do, the more options they'll have.

When kids feel like they are in charge of their destiny, they do better. But they need to understand the parameters. There aren't a lot of families that can drop $800,000 on two kids going to middling private colleges. But everyone can go to MIT if they can get in.

Kids - families - need to understand the game, the costs, the barriers, and how to play the game.

Um, no.

Isn't this literally the case? What is stopping someone with an acceptance letter from enrolling?

You have to sign finanancial documents long before showing up

[Anonymous]

Reach out NOW to your school counselor and ask how their Jefferson nominee is selected each year.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The time to discuss financial realities with kids is beginning of 10th grade.

If Pepperdine is not an option, they should know that right at the beginning. If Alabama is offering full rides for bright students, they should know that. If Princeton meets all financial need, they should know that. If State U is manageable, they should know that. If Colby is a dream school but not remotely possible, they should know that. If they have siblings, and everything needs to be fair and equitable, they should know that. And if it's merit or community college, they should know that.

Kids are remarkably adaptable and focused when they know the parameters. And they know what they need to do to go to where they want to go. Tell them what's what with what you can afford in 10th grade. And then explain merit. And list the 30 or so schools that meet all need - provided they can get in. Assure them it's all going to work out, but ultimately, the options will be up to them depending on how they perform in high school. And the better they do, the more options they'll have.

When kids feel like they are in charge of their destiny, they do better. But they need to understand the parameters. There aren't a lot of families that can drop $800,000 on two kids going to middling private colleges. But everyone can go to MIT if they can get in.

Kids - families - need to understand the game, the costs, the barriers, and how to play the game.

Um, no.

Isn't this literally the case? What is stopping someone with an acceptance letter from enrolling?

You have to sign finanancial documents long before showing up

And what's the issue with that?

[Anonymous]

I just have no sympathy for this at all. Send your kids instate VA. On $270k you can cash flow it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The time to discuss financial realities with kids is beginning of 10th grade.

If Pepperdine is not an option, they should know that right at the beginning. If Alabama is offering full rides for bright students, they should know that. If Princeton meets all financial need, they should know that. If State U is manageable, they should know that. If Colby is a dream school but not remotely possible, they should know that. If they have siblings, and everything needs to be fair and equitable, they should know that. And if it's merit or community college, they should know that.

Kids are remarkably adaptable and focused when they know the parameters. And they know what they need to do to go to where they want to go. Tell them what's what with what you can afford in 10th grade. And then explain merit. And list the 30 or so schools that meet all need - provided they can get in. Assure them it's all going to work out, but ultimately, the options will be up to them depending on how they perform in high school. And the better they do, the more options they'll have.

When kids feel like they are in charge of their destiny, they do better. But they need to understand the parameters. There aren't a lot of families that can drop $800,000 on two kids going to middling private colleges. But everyone can go to MIT if they can get in.

Kids - families - need to understand the game, the costs, the barriers, and how to play the game.

Um, no.

Isn't this literally the case? What is stopping someone with an acceptance letter from enrolling?

Money.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The time to discuss financial realities with kids is beginning of 10th grade.

If Pepperdine is not an option, they should know that right at the beginning. If Alabama is offering full rides for bright students, they should know that. If Princeton meets all financial need, they should know that. If State U is manageable, they should know that. If Colby is a dream school but not remotely possible, they should know that. If they have siblings, and everything needs to be fair and equitable, they should know that. And if it's merit or community college, they should know that.

Kids are remarkably adaptable and focused when they know the parameters. And they know what they need to do to go to where they want to go. Tell them what's what with what you can afford in 10th grade. And then explain merit. And list the 30 or so schools that meet all need - provided they can get in. Assure them it's all going to work out, but ultimately, the options will be up to them depending on how they perform in high school. And the better they do, the more options they'll have.

When kids feel like they are in charge of their destiny, they do better. But they need to understand the parameters. There aren't a lot of families that can drop $800,000 on two kids going to middling private colleges. But everyone can go to MIT if they can get in.

Kids - families - need to understand the game, the costs, the barriers, and how to play the game.

Um, no.

Isn't this literally the case? What is stopping someone with an acceptance letter from enrolling?

You have to sign finanancial documents long before showing up

And what's the issue with that?

$86,000 this year and rising.

[Anonymous]

It’s up to them, too. If they work hard they can get merit aid. It’s not too late. If they want to succeed, they have to work hard.

[Anonymous]

Why do they end to go to a T25 to be successful? It isn’t even reality. Cut the expectations of kids needing to go to an Ivy or equivalent, because that’s the problem right there.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why do they end to go to a T25 to be successful? It isn’t even reality. Cut the expectations of kids needing to go to an Ivy or equivalent, because that’s the problem right there.

+one million

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The time to discuss financial realities with kids is beginning of 10th grade.

If Pepperdine is not an option, they should know that right at the beginning. If Alabama is offering full rides for bright students, they should know that. If Princeton meets all financial need, they should know that. If State U is manageable, they should know that. If Colby is a dream school but not remotely possible, they should know that. If they have siblings, and everything needs to be fair and equitable, they should know that. And if it's merit or community college, they should know that.

Kids are remarkably adaptable and focused when they know the parameters. And they know what they need to do to go to where they want to go. Tell them what's what with what you can afford in 10th grade. And then explain merit. And list the 30 or so schools that meet all need - provided they can get in. Assure them it's all going to work out, but ultimately, the options will be up to them depending on how they perform in high school. And the better they do, the more options they'll have.

When kids feel like they are in charge of their destiny, they do better. But they need to understand the parameters. There aren't a lot of families that can drop $800,000 on two kids going to middling private colleges. But everyone can go to MIT if they can get in.

Kids - families - need to understand the game, the costs, the barriers, and how to play the game.

Um, no.

Isn't this literally the case? What is stopping someone with an acceptance letter from enrolling?

One of my best friends got in but couldn’t go because of cost.

[Anonymous]

Expand the college search then, and just tell the kids sorry we need to keep it closer to home and less expensive, and here’s are budget. Actually, just start with your budget.