Asian Parents Broke Me

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I saw this in my own Asian family. Here is how it went down:


Son: I am interested in music. I think I like to play the guitar.

Mom: Why would you want to learn that instrument? They are for poor people. We're going to purchase a Steinway grand piano, and you're going to get weekly piano lessons. In addition to that, I am going to sign you up for piano competition events. You must finish in the top three, and if you fail to do that, you will not be allowed to hang out with your friends. You will be judged against other Asian kids, and do not make me look bad.

​Son: I love watching Novak Djokovic play tennis. He is the best tennis player.

Mom: I am going to enroll you into tennis bootcamps along with expensive private tennis lessons. You have to enter tournaments and become the best player in your age group. Other Asian parents posted on WeChat that their kids won tournaments, and I expect the same thing from you. If you have to give up time to hang out with your friends, so be it.

Son: I love art. I think it is cool.

Mom: I am going to sign you up for USArts. I expect you to be the best art student in your age group. I also expect you to come up with an art portfolio so that we can use it to enter art competitions. Other Asian parents brag about their kids winning art competitions, so I expect the same thing from you.

Son: I heard a lot about TJ. I would like to know more.

Mom: I am going to enroll you in Sunshine academy or Best academy. That way, they will prepare you for TJ prep exams. I expect you to be at TJ five years from now.


​Son: Mom, now that college commencement is over, I would like to move as far from you as I can. Thank you for making my childhood a living hell.

I am not Asian. Is it really like this?

I haven't watched the whole video, but I did watch the part about art and piano. There is no way to learn to play piano without regular practice which needs to include some of the boring stuff (scales etc). Nothing is fun all the time.

You can learn to do anything “good enough” for it to be fun. You absolutely do not need to practice scales to learn to play piano “good enough” to just do it for the sheer pleasure of playing.

Would you make your son take lessons on how to throw a proper spiral just because he wants to toss the ole pigskin around with the other guys on Thanksgiving?

I guess I just never met that person - a person who plays piano for the pleasure of playing without actually learning how to play it. Guitar - maybe. Violin - absolutely no way.

You seriously can’t fathom learning to play some songs on literally any instrument without practicing scales?

You can’t imagine looking at sheet music and being able to assign those 7 whole notes to the white keys, and that the notes in the vertical middle of the bar are in the middle of the piano? Higher ones to the right, lower to the left? Half notes are the black keys? You could learn this in about half an hour.

DP who posted right above. I also cannot imagine anyone learning how to play an instrument in half and hour in a way such that they would want to listen to themselves play or subject others to their own playing. Even for an instrument as pleasant sounding as the piano. In half an hour, I can imagine someone learning to play chopsticks in an annoying way. I grew up in a family with perfect pitch and many of us played instruments for fun, non-competitively, but this still required some practice and dedication.

But does it require *practicing scales* which is what you originally said?

(Obviously it does not. Come on.)

I'm not the original PP you were talking to, btw. But yeah, in order to improvise and play in a "fun" group, I knew my scales pretty well. Even the people I know who are self taught but play well enough to impress and audience were actually disciplined about honing skills and practicing. If you just want to plunk notes without understanding much, I'm sure you could learn to play a lot of sheet music without knowing anything about scales. But even then, learning how to play in a way that doesn't torment the neighbors takes a bit of effort. My point was, and I think you agree, kids shouldn't be forced to continue when the interest isn't there. For most teens "interest" just means learning how to play a few favorite pop or classical tunes over and over again, and this is fine.

Yeah, I do agree with your last point. (So don’t force a kid to learn scales when they don’t want to learn scales just because you think that’s the *right* way to learn.)

(And unless you’re just a toddler mashing the keys, piano is not a “torment the neighbors” instrument.)

I’m sure you’re great at the piano, but one doesn’t need to be great, or even aspire to be great, to play the piano for fun. Which I think is basically the point of the guy’s video. Can’t I just learn to play Christmas music or show tunes without being pressured to improvise in a fun group? Who cares?!

At some point in my childhood, I really did not see the point of scales or theory. I was always into music and always wanted to take lessons, but wasn't until much later, after years of lessons that things clicked and I understood the point of all those technique and theory exercises. If my parents or teacher had just let me do whatever I wanted, I doubt I would have learned scales or theory, which was at times a real chore. But then later I wouldn't have been able to compose music, or play with some of the groups I did, and I would have lost out on a great experience which is still part of my identity today. There's a big difference in saying "chain the disinterested kids to the piano!" vs "never ask them to do scales or anything not fun!" There's a reasonable middle ground here: "If they want lessons, sometimes they have to do the boring stuff too." I don't think I'll ever convince you to learn your scales, but they are actually pretty handy.

I play multiple instruments and my parents only involvement was attending the occasional concert.

There’s more than one way to skin a cat, but so many posting on this thread are far too rigid to grasp that.

I have multiple professional musician friends today (none of whom are even Asian), and they all *gasp* played scales as children.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I saw this in my own Asian family. Here is how it went down:


Son: I am interested in music. I think I like to play the guitar.

Mom: Why would you want to learn that instrument? They are for poor people. We're going to purchase a Steinway grand piano, and you're going to get weekly piano lessons. In addition to that, I am going to sign you up for piano competition events. You must finish in the top three, and if you fail to do that, you will not be allowed to hang out with your friends. You will be judged against other Asian kids, and do not make me look bad.

​Son: I love watching Novak Djokovic play tennis. He is the best tennis player.

Mom: I am going to enroll you into tennis bootcamps along with expensive private tennis lessons. You have to enter tournaments and become the best player in your age group. Other Asian parents posted on WeChat that their kids won tournaments, and I expect the same thing from you. If you have to give up time to hang out with your friends, so be it.

Son: I love art. I think it is cool.

Mom: I am going to sign you up for USArts. I expect you to be the best art student in your age group. I also expect you to come up with an art portfolio so that we can use it to enter art competitions. Other Asian parents brag about their kids winning art competitions, so I expect the same thing from you.

Son: I heard a lot about TJ. I would like to know more.

Mom: I am going to enroll you in Sunshine academy or Best academy. That way, they will prepare you for TJ prep exams. I expect you to be at TJ five years from now.


​Son: Mom, now that college commencement is over, I would like to move as far from you as I can. Thank you for making my childhood a living hell.

There is an Indian comedian who is a mom and does skits about this and her kids participate in the videos. Pretty funny stuff and I always get the feeling that her kids are okay with her demands.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I saw this in my own Asian family. Here is how it went down:


Son: I am interested in music. I think I like to play the guitar.

Mom: Why would you want to learn that instrument? They are for poor people. We're going to purchase a Steinway grand piano, and you're going to get weekly piano lessons. In addition to that, I am going to sign you up for piano competition events. You must finish in the top three, and if you fail to do that, you will not be allowed to hang out with your friends. You will be judged against other Asian kids, and do not make me look bad.

​Son: I love watching Novak Djokovic play tennis. He is the best tennis player.

Mom: I am going to enroll you into tennis bootcamps along with expensive private tennis lessons. You have to enter tournaments and become the best player in your age group. Other Asian parents posted on WeChat that their kids won tournaments, and I expect the same thing from you. If you have to give up time to hang out with your friends, so be it.

Son: I love art. I think it is cool.

Mom: I am going to sign you up for USArts. I expect you to be the best art student in your age group. I also expect you to come up with an art portfolio so that we can use it to enter art competitions. Other Asian parents brag about their kids winning art competitions, so I expect the same thing from you.

Son: I heard a lot about TJ. I would like to know more.

Mom: I am going to enroll you in Sunshine academy or Best academy. That way, they will prepare you for TJ prep exams. I expect you to be at TJ five years from now.


​Son: Mom, now that college commencement is over, I would like to move as far from you as I can. Thank you for making my childhood a living hell.

There is an Indian comedian who is a mom and does skits about this and her kids participate in the videos. Pretty funny stuff and I always get the feeling that her kids are okay with her demands.

There are so many reasonable Asian American parents. Imagine if other races took the worst of white American parenting as an example and made sweeping generalizations about all white parents. Or black parents or Latino parents.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I saw this in my own Asian family. Here is how it went down:


Son: I am interested in music. I think I like to play the guitar.

Mom: Why would you want to learn that instrument? They are for poor people. We're going to purchase a Steinway grand piano, and you're going to get weekly piano lessons. In addition to that, I am going to sign you up for piano competition events. You must finish in the top three, and if you fail to do that, you will not be allowed to hang out with your friends. You will be judged against other Asian kids, and do not make me look bad.

​Son: I love watching Novak Djokovic play tennis. He is the best tennis player.

Mom: I am going to enroll you into tennis bootcamps along with expensive private tennis lessons. You have to enter tournaments and become the best player in your age group. Other Asian parents posted on WeChat that their kids won tournaments, and I expect the same thing from you. If you have to give up time to hang out with your friends, so be it.

Son: I love art. I think it is cool.

Mom: I am going to sign you up for USArts. I expect you to be the best art student in your age group. I also expect you to come up with an art portfolio so that we can use it to enter art competitions. Other Asian parents brag about their kids winning art competitions, so I expect the same thing from you.

Son: I heard a lot about TJ. I would like to know more.

Mom: I am going to enroll you in Sunshine academy or Best academy. That way, they will prepare you for TJ prep exams. I expect you to be at TJ five years from now.


​Son: Mom, now that college commencement is over, I would like to move as far from you as I can. Thank you for making my childhood a living hell.

I am not Asian. Is it really like this?

I haven't watched the whole video, but I did watch the part about art and piano. There is no way to learn to play piano without regular practice which needs to include some of the boring stuff (scales etc). Nothing is fun all the time.

You can learn to do anything “good enough” for it to be fun. You absolutely do not need to practice scales to learn to play piano “good enough” to just do it for the sheer pleasure of playing.

Would you make your son take lessons on how to throw a proper spiral just because he wants to toss the ole pigskin around with the other guys on Thanksgiving?

I guess I just never met that person - a person who plays piano for the pleasure of playing without actually learning how to play it. Guitar - maybe. Violin - absolutely no way.

You seriously can’t fathom learning to play some songs on literally any instrument without practicing scales?

You can’t imagine looking at sheet music and being able to assign those 7 whole notes to the white keys, and that the notes in the vertical middle of the bar are in the middle of the piano? Higher ones to the right, lower to the left? Half notes are the black keys? You could learn this in about half an hour.

DP who posted right above. I also cannot imagine anyone learning how to play an instrument in half and hour in a way such that they would want to listen to themselves play or subject others to their own playing. Even for an instrument as pleasant sounding as the piano. In half an hour, I can imagine someone learning to play chopsticks in an annoying way. I grew up in a family with perfect pitch and many of us played instruments for fun, non-competitively, but this still required some practice and dedication.

But does it require *practicing scales* which is what you originally said?

(Obviously it does not. Come on.)

I'm not the original PP you were talking to, btw. But yeah, in order to improvise and play in a "fun" group, I knew my scales pretty well. Even the people I know who are self taught but play well enough to impress and audience were actually disciplined about honing skills and practicing. If you just want to plunk notes without understanding much, I'm sure you could learn to play a lot of sheet music without knowing anything about scales. But even then, learning how to play in a way that doesn't torment the neighbors takes a bit of effort. My point was, and I think you agree, kids shouldn't be forced to continue when the interest isn't there. For most teens "interest" just means learning how to play a few favorite pop or classical tunes over and over again, and this is fine.

Yeah, I do agree with your last point. (So don’t force a kid to learn scales when they don’t want to learn scales just because you think that’s the *right* way to learn.)

(And unless you’re just a toddler mashing the keys, piano is not a “torment the neighbors” instrument.)

I’m sure you’re great at the piano, but one doesn’t need to be great, or even aspire to be great, to play the piano for fun. Which I think is basically the point of the guy’s video. Can’t I just learn to play Christmas music or show tunes without being pressured to improvise in a fun group? Who cares?!

no, i don't think it's the right way to learn. it's the teachers at all levels in all countries who tell you it's the right way to learn. you know better, apparently. have many people have you taught to play piano, again?

[Anonymous]

oh, and also, piano can absolutely torment the listener.

[Anonymous]

No fool

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I saw this in my own Asian family. Here is how it went down:


Son: I am interested in music. I think I like to play the guitar.

Mom: Why would you want to learn that instrument? They are for poor people. We're going to purchase a Steinway grand piano, and you're going to get weekly piano lessons. In addition to that, I am going to sign you up for piano competition events. You must finish in the top three, and if you fail to do that, you will not be allowed to hang out with your friends. You will be judged against other Asian kids, and do not make me look bad.

​Son: I love watching Novak Djokovic play tennis. He is the best tennis player.

Mom: I am going to enroll you into tennis bootcamps along with expensive private tennis lessons. You have to enter tournaments and become the best player in your age group. Other Asian parents posted on WeChat that their kids won tournaments, and I expect the same thing from you. If you have to give up time to hang out with your friends, so be it.

Son: I love art. I think it is cool.

Mom: I am going to sign you up for USArts. I expect you to be the best art student in your age group. I also expect you to come up with an art portfolio so that we can use it to enter art competitions. Other Asian parents brag about their kids winning art competitions, so I expect the same thing from you.

Son: I heard a lot about TJ. I would like to know more.

Mom: I am going to enroll you in Sunshine academy or Best academy. That way, they will prepare you for TJ prep exams. I expect you to be at TJ five years from now.


​Son: Mom, now that college commencement is over, I would like to move as far from you as I can. Thank you for making my childhood a living hell.

I am not Asian. Is it really like this?

I haven't watched the whole video, but I did watch the part about art and piano. There is no way to learn to play piano without regular practice which needs to include some of the boring stuff (scales etc). Nothing is fun all the time.

You can learn to do anything “good enough” for it to be fun. You absolutely do not need to practice scales to learn to play piano “good enough” to just do it for the sheer pleasure of playing.

Would you make your son take lessons on how to throw a proper spiral just because he wants to toss the ole pigskin around with the other guys on Thanksgiving?

I guess I just never met that person - a person who plays piano for the pleasure of playing without actually learning how to play it. Guitar - maybe. Violin - absolutely no way.

You seriously can’t fathom learning to play some songs on literally any instrument without practicing scales?

You can’t imagine looking at sheet music and being able to assign those 7 whole notes to the white keys, and that the notes in the vertical middle of the bar are in the middle of the piano? Higher ones to the right, lower to the left? Half notes are the black keys? You could learn this in about half an hour.

DP who posted right above. I also cannot imagine anyone learning how to play an instrument in half and hour in a way such that they would want to listen to themselves play or subject others to their own playing. Even for an instrument as pleasant sounding as the piano. In half an hour, I can imagine someone learning to play chopsticks in an annoying way. I grew up in a family with perfect pitch and many of us played instruments for fun, non-competitively, but this still required some practice and dedication.

But does it require *practicing scales* which is what you originally said?

(Obviously it does not. Come on.)

I'm not the original PP you were talking to, btw. But yeah, in order to improvise and play in a "fun" group, I knew my scales pretty well. Even the people I know who are self taught but play well enough to impress and audience were actually disciplined about honing skills and practicing. If you just want to plunk notes without understanding much, I'm sure you could learn to play a lot of sheet music without knowing anything about scales. But even then, learning how to play in a way that doesn't torment the neighbors takes a bit of effort. My point was, and I think you agree, kids shouldn't be forced to continue when the interest isn't there. For most teens "interest" just means learning how to play a few favorite pop or classical tunes over and over again, and this is fine.

Yeah, I do agree with your last point. (So don’t force a kid to learn scales when they don’t want to learn scales just because you think that’s the *right* way to learn.)

(And unless you’re just a toddler mashing the keys, piano is not a “torment the neighbors” instrument.)

I’m sure you’re great at the piano, but one doesn’t need to be great, or even aspire to be great, to play the piano for fun. Which I think is basically the point of the guy’s video. Can’t I just learn to play Christmas music or show tunes without being pressured to improvise in a fun group? Who cares?!

At some point in my childhood, I really did not see the point of scales or theory. I was always into music and always wanted to take lessons, but wasn't until much later, after years of lessons that things clicked and I understood the point of all those technique and theory exercises. If my parents or teacher had just let me do whatever I wanted, I doubt I would have learned scales or theory, which was at times a real chore. But then later I wouldn't have been able to compose music, or play with some of the groups I did, and I would have lost out on a great experience which is still part of my identity today. There's a big difference in saying "chain the disinterested kids to the piano!" vs "never ask them to do scales or anything not fun!" There's a reasonable middle ground here: "If they want lessons, sometimes they have to do the boring stuff too." I don't think I'll ever convince you to learn your scales, but they are actually pretty handy.

I play multiple instruments and my parents only involvement was attending the occasional concert.

There’s more than one way to skin a cat, but so many posting on this thread are far too rigid to grasp that.

this shows absolutely nothing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I saw this in my own Asian family. Here is how it went down:


Son: I am interested in music. I think I like to play the guitar.

Mom: Why would you want to learn that instrument? They are for poor people. We're going to purchase a Steinway grand piano, and you're going to get weekly piano lessons. In addition to that, I am going to sign you up for piano competition events. You must finish in the top three, and if you fail to do that, you will not be allowed to hang out with your friends. You will be judged against other Asian kids, and do not make me look bad.

​Son: I love watching Novak Djokovic play tennis. He is the best tennis player.

Mom: I am going to enroll you into tennis bootcamps along with expensive private tennis lessons. You have to enter tournaments and become the best player in your age group. Other Asian parents posted on WeChat that their kids won tournaments, and I expect the same thing from you. If you have to give up time to hang out with your friends, so be it.

Son: I love art. I think it is cool.

Mom: I am going to sign you up for USArts. I expect you to be the best art student in your age group. I also expect you to come up with an art portfolio so that we can use it to enter art competitions. Other Asian parents brag about their kids winning art competitions, so I expect the same thing from you.

Son: I heard a lot about TJ. I would like to know more.

Mom: I am going to enroll you in Sunshine academy or Best academy. That way, they will prepare you for TJ prep exams. I expect you to be at TJ five years from now.


​Son: Mom, now that college commencement is over, I would like to move as far from you as I can. Thank you for making my childhood a living hell.

I am not Asian. Is it really like this?

I haven't watched the whole video, but I did watch the part about art and piano. There is no way to learn to play piano without regular practice which needs to include some of the boring stuff (scales etc). Nothing is fun all the time.

You can learn to do anything “good enough” for it to be fun. You absolutely do not need to practice scales to learn to play piano “good enough” to just do it for the sheer pleasure of playing.

Would you make your son take lessons on how to throw a proper spiral just because he wants to toss the ole pigskin around with the other guys on Thanksgiving?

I guess I just never met that person - a person who plays piano for the pleasure of playing without actually learning how to play it. Guitar - maybe. Violin - absolutely no way.

You seriously can’t fathom learning to play some songs on literally any instrument without practicing scales?

You can’t imagine looking at sheet music and being able to assign those 7 whole notes to the white keys, and that the notes in the vertical middle of the bar are in the middle of the piano? Higher ones to the right, lower to the left? Half notes are the black keys? You could learn this in about half an hour.

DP who posted right above. I also cannot imagine anyone learning how to play an instrument in half and hour in a way such that they would want to listen to themselves play or subject others to their own playing. Even for an instrument as pleasant sounding as the piano. In half an hour, I can imagine someone learning to play chopsticks in an annoying way. I grew up in a family with perfect pitch and many of us played instruments for fun, non-competitively, but this still required some practice and dedication.

But does it require *practicing scales* which is what you originally said?

(Obviously it does not. Come on.)

I'm not the original PP you were talking to, btw. But yeah, in order to improvise and play in a "fun" group, I knew my scales pretty well. Even the people I know who are self taught but play well enough to impress and audience were actually disciplined about honing skills and practicing. If you just want to plunk notes without understanding much, I'm sure you could learn to play a lot of sheet music without knowing anything about scales. But even then, learning how to play in a way that doesn't torment the neighbors takes a bit of effort. My point was, and I think you agree, kids shouldn't be forced to continue when the interest isn't there. For most teens "interest" just means learning how to play a few favorite pop or classical tunes over and over again, and this is fine.

Yeah, I do agree with your last point. (So don’t force a kid to learn scales when they don’t want to learn scales just because you think that’s the *right* way to learn.)

(And unless you’re just a toddler mashing the keys, piano is not a “torment the neighbors” instrument.)

I’m sure you’re great at the piano, but one doesn’t need to be great, or even aspire to be great, to play the piano for fun. Which I think is basically the point of the guy’s video. Can’t I just learn to play Christmas music or show tunes without being pressured to improvise in a fun group? Who cares?!

At some point in my childhood, I really did not see the point of scales or theory. I was always into music and always wanted to take lessons, but wasn't until much later, after years of lessons that things clicked and I understood the point of all those technique and theory exercises. If my parents or teacher had just let me do whatever I wanted, I doubt I would have learned scales or theory, which was at times a real chore. But then later I wouldn't have been able to compose music, or play with some of the groups I did, and I would have lost out on a great experience which is still part of my identity today. There's a big difference in saying "chain the disinterested kids to the piano!" vs "never ask them to do scales or anything not fun!" There's a reasonable middle ground here: "If they want lessons, sometimes they have to do the boring stuff too." I don't think I'll ever convince you to learn your scales, but they are actually pretty handy.

I play multiple instruments and my parents only involvement was attending the occasional concert.

There’s more than one way to skin a cat, but so many posting on this thread are far too rigid to grasp that.

I have multiple professional musician friends today (none of whom are even Asian), and they all *gasp* played scales as children.

And? Who cares about professional musicians in a conversation about playing for fun? Y’all are just proving this kid’s point. EVERYTHING is about competition and achievement for some of you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I saw this in my own Asian family. Here is how it went down:


Son: I am interested in music. I think I like to play the guitar.

Mom: Why would you want to learn that instrument? They are for poor people. We're going to purchase a Steinway grand piano, and you're going to get weekly piano lessons. In addition to that, I am going to sign you up for piano competition events. You must finish in the top three, and if you fail to do that, you will not be allowed to hang out with your friends. You will be judged against other Asian kids, and do not make me look bad.

​Son: I love watching Novak Djokovic play tennis. He is the best tennis player.

Mom: I am going to enroll you into tennis bootcamps along with expensive private tennis lessons. You have to enter tournaments and become the best player in your age group. Other Asian parents posted on WeChat that their kids won tournaments, and I expect the same thing from you. If you have to give up time to hang out with your friends, so be it.

Son: I love art. I think it is cool.

Mom: I am going to sign you up for USArts. I expect you to be the best art student in your age group. I also expect you to come up with an art portfolio so that we can use it to enter art competitions. Other Asian parents brag about their kids winning art competitions, so I expect the same thing from you.

Son: I heard a lot about TJ. I would like to know more.

Mom: I am going to enroll you in Sunshine academy or Best academy. That way, they will prepare you for TJ prep exams. I expect you to be at TJ five years from now.


​Son: Mom, now that college commencement is over, I would like to move as far from you as I can. Thank you for making my childhood a living hell.

I am not Asian. Is it really like this?

I haven't watched the whole video, but I did watch the part about art and piano. There is no way to learn to play piano without regular practice which needs to include some of the boring stuff (scales etc). Nothing is fun all the time.

You can learn to do anything “good enough” for it to be fun. You absolutely do not need to practice scales to learn to play piano “good enough” to just do it for the sheer pleasure of playing.

Would you make your son take lessons on how to throw a proper spiral just because he wants to toss the ole pigskin around with the other guys on Thanksgiving?

I guess I just never met that person - a person who plays piano for the pleasure of playing without actually learning how to play it. Guitar - maybe. Violin - absolutely no way.

You seriously can’t fathom learning to play some songs on literally any instrument without practicing scales?

You can’t imagine looking at sheet music and being able to assign those 7 whole notes to the white keys, and that the notes in the vertical middle of the bar are in the middle of the piano? Higher ones to the right, lower to the left? Half notes are the black keys? You could learn this in about half an hour.

DP who posted right above. I also cannot imagine anyone learning how to play an instrument in half and hour in a way such that they would want to listen to themselves play or subject others to their own playing. Even for an instrument as pleasant sounding as the piano. In half an hour, I can imagine someone learning to play chopsticks in an annoying way. I grew up in a family with perfect pitch and many of us played instruments for fun, non-competitively, but this still required some practice and dedication.

But does it require *practicing scales* which is what you originally said?

(Obviously it does not. Come on.)

I'm not the original PP you were talking to, btw. But yeah, in order to improvise and play in a "fun" group, I knew my scales pretty well. Even the people I know who are self taught but play well enough to impress and audience were actually disciplined about honing skills and practicing. If you just want to plunk notes without understanding much, I'm sure you could learn to play a lot of sheet music without knowing anything about scales. But even then, learning how to play in a way that doesn't torment the neighbors takes a bit of effort. My point was, and I think you agree, kids shouldn't be forced to continue when the interest isn't there. For most teens "interest" just means learning how to play a few favorite pop or classical tunes over and over again, and this is fine.

Yeah, I do agree with your last point. (So don’t force a kid to learn scales when they don’t want to learn scales just because you think that’s the *right* way to learn.)

(And unless you’re just a toddler mashing the keys, piano is not a “torment the neighbors” instrument.)

I’m sure you’re great at the piano, but one doesn’t need to be great, or even aspire to be great, to play the piano for fun. Which I think is basically the point of the guy’s video. Can’t I just learn to play Christmas music or show tunes without being pressured to improvise in a fun group? Who cares?!

At some point in my childhood, I really did not see the point of scales or theory. I was always into music and always wanted to take lessons, but wasn't until much later, after years of lessons that things clicked and I understood the point of all those technique and theory exercises. If my parents or teacher had just let me do whatever I wanted, I doubt I would have learned scales or theory, which was at times a real chore. But then later I wouldn't have been able to compose music, or play with some of the groups I did, and I would have lost out on a great experience which is still part of my identity today. There's a big difference in saying "chain the disinterested kids to the piano!" vs "never ask them to do scales or anything not fun!" There's a reasonable middle ground here: "If they want lessons, sometimes they have to do the boring stuff too." I don't think I'll ever convince you to learn your scales, but they are actually pretty handy.

I play multiple instruments and my parents only involvement was attending the occasional concert.

There’s more than one way to skin a cat, but so many posting on this thread are far too rigid to grasp that.

I have multiple professional musician friends today (none of whom are even Asian), and they all *gasp* played scales as children.

And? Who cares about professional musicians in a conversation about playing for fun? Y’all are just proving this kid’s point. EVERYTHING is about competition and achievement for some of you.

I would really like to hear you "play for run". Or, on a second thought, not really.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I saw this in my own Asian family. Here is how it went down:


Son: I am interested in music. I think I like to play the guitar.

Mom: Why would you want to learn that instrument? They are for poor people. We're going to purchase a Steinway grand piano, and you're going to get weekly piano lessons. In addition to that, I am going to sign you up for piano competition events. You must finish in the top three, and if you fail to do that, you will not be allowed to hang out with your friends. You will be judged against other Asian kids, and do not make me look bad.

​Son: I love watching Novak Djokovic play tennis. He is the best tennis player.

Mom: I am going to enroll you into tennis bootcamps along with expensive private tennis lessons. You have to enter tournaments and become the best player in your age group. Other Asian parents posted on WeChat that their kids won tournaments, and I expect the same thing from you. If you have to give up time to hang out with your friends, so be it.

Son: I love art. I think it is cool.

Mom: I am going to sign you up for USArts. I expect you to be the best art student in your age group. I also expect you to come up with an art portfolio so that we can use it to enter art competitions. Other Asian parents brag about their kids winning art competitions, so I expect the same thing from you.

Son: I heard a lot about TJ. I would like to know more.

Mom: I am going to enroll you in Sunshine academy or Best academy. That way, they will prepare you for TJ prep exams. I expect you to be at TJ five years from now.


​Son: Mom, now that college commencement is over, I would like to move as far from you as I can. Thank you for making my childhood a living hell.

I am not Asian. Is it really like this?

I haven't watched the whole video, but I did watch the part about art and piano. There is no way to learn to play piano without regular practice which needs to include some of the boring stuff (scales etc). Nothing is fun all the time.

You can learn to do anything “good enough” for it to be fun. You absolutely do not need to practice scales to learn to play piano “good enough” to just do it for the sheer pleasure of playing.

Would you make your son take lessons on how to throw a proper spiral just because he wants to toss the ole pigskin around with the other guys on Thanksgiving?

I guess I just never met that person - a person who plays piano for the pleasure of playing without actually learning how to play it. Guitar - maybe. Violin - absolutely no way.

You seriously can’t fathom learning to play some songs on literally any instrument without practicing scales?

You can’t imagine looking at sheet music and being able to assign those 7 whole notes to the white keys, and that the notes in the vertical middle of the bar are in the middle of the piano? Higher ones to the right, lower to the left? Half notes are the black keys? You could learn this in about half an hour.

DP who posted right above. I also cannot imagine anyone learning how to play an instrument in half and hour in a way such that they would want to listen to themselves play or subject others to their own playing. Even for an instrument as pleasant sounding as the piano. In half an hour, I can imagine someone learning to play chopsticks in an annoying way. I grew up in a family with perfect pitch and many of us played instruments for fun, non-competitively, but this still required some practice and dedication.

But does it require *practicing scales* which is what you originally said?

(Obviously it does not. Come on.)

I'm not the original PP you were talking to, btw. But yeah, in order to improvise and play in a "fun" group, I knew my scales pretty well. Even the people I know who are self taught but play well enough to impress and audience were actually disciplined about honing skills and practicing. If you just want to plunk notes without understanding much, I'm sure you could learn to play a lot of sheet music without knowing anything about scales. But even then, learning how to play in a way that doesn't torment the neighbors takes a bit of effort. My point was, and I think you agree, kids shouldn't be forced to continue when the interest isn't there. For most teens "interest" just means learning how to play a few favorite pop or classical tunes over and over again, and this is fine.

Yeah, I do agree with your last point. (So don’t force a kid to learn scales when they don’t want to learn scales just because you think that’s the *right* way to learn.)

(And unless you’re just a toddler mashing the keys, piano is not a “torment the neighbors” instrument.)

I’m sure you’re great at the piano, but one doesn’t need to be great, or even aspire to be great, to play the piano for fun. Which I think is basically the point of the guy’s video. Can’t I just learn to play Christmas music or show tunes without being pressured to improvise in a fun group? Who cares?!

no, i don't think it's the right way to learn. it's the teachers at all levels in all countries who tell you it's the right way to learn. you know better, apparently. have many people have you taught to play piano, again?

Proving the point. I bet you’ve had your five foot nothing son getting private basketball coaching for years instead of just letting him play HORSE in the driveway.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I saw this in my own Asian family. Here is how it went down:


Son: I am interested in music. I think I like to play the guitar.

Mom: Why would you want to learn that instrument? They are for poor people. We're going to purchase a Steinway grand piano, and you're going to get weekly piano lessons. In addition to that, I am going to sign you up for piano competition events. You must finish in the top three, and if you fail to do that, you will not be allowed to hang out with your friends. You will be judged against other Asian kids, and do not make me look bad.

​Son: I love watching Novak Djokovic play tennis. He is the best tennis player.

Mom: I am going to enroll you into tennis bootcamps along with expensive private tennis lessons. You have to enter tournaments and become the best player in your age group. Other Asian parents posted on WeChat that their kids won tournaments, and I expect the same thing from you. If you have to give up time to hang out with your friends, so be it.

Son: I love art. I think it is cool.

Mom: I am going to sign you up for USArts. I expect you to be the best art student in your age group. I also expect you to come up with an art portfolio so that we can use it to enter art competitions. Other Asian parents brag about their kids winning art competitions, so I expect the same thing from you.

Son: I heard a lot about TJ. I would like to know more.

Mom: I am going to enroll you in Sunshine academy or Best academy. That way, they will prepare you for TJ prep exams. I expect you to be at TJ five years from now.


​Son: Mom, now that college commencement is over, I would like to move as far from you as I can. Thank you for making my childhood a living hell.

I am not Asian. Is it really like this?

I haven't watched the whole video, but I did watch the part about art and piano. There is no way to learn to play piano without regular practice which needs to include some of the boring stuff (scales etc). Nothing is fun all the time.

You can learn to do anything “good enough” for it to be fun. You absolutely do not need to practice scales to learn to play piano “good enough” to just do it for the sheer pleasure of playing.

Would you make your son take lessons on how to throw a proper spiral just because he wants to toss the ole pigskin around with the other guys on Thanksgiving?

I guess I just never met that person - a person who plays piano for the pleasure of playing without actually learning how to play it. Guitar - maybe. Violin - absolutely no way.

You seriously can’t fathom learning to play some songs on literally any instrument without practicing scales?

You can’t imagine looking at sheet music and being able to assign those 7 whole notes to the white keys, and that the notes in the vertical middle of the bar are in the middle of the piano? Higher ones to the right, lower to the left? Half notes are the black keys? You could learn this in about half an hour.

DP who posted right above. I also cannot imagine anyone learning how to play an instrument in half and hour in a way such that they would want to listen to themselves play or subject others to their own playing. Even for an instrument as pleasant sounding as the piano. In half an hour, I can imagine someone learning to play chopsticks in an annoying way. I grew up in a family with perfect pitch and many of us played instruments for fun, non-competitively, but this still required some practice and dedication.

But does it require *practicing scales* which is what you originally said?

(Obviously it does not. Come on.)

I'm not the original PP you were talking to, btw. But yeah, in order to improvise and play in a "fun" group, I knew my scales pretty well. Even the people I know who are self taught but play well enough to impress and audience were actually disciplined about honing skills and practicing. If you just want to plunk notes without understanding much, I'm sure you could learn to play a lot of sheet music without knowing anything about scales. But even then, learning how to play in a way that doesn't torment the neighbors takes a bit of effort. My point was, and I think you agree, kids shouldn't be forced to continue when the interest isn't there. For most teens "interest" just means learning how to play a few favorite pop or classical tunes over and over again, and this is fine.

Yeah, I do agree with your last point. (So don’t force a kid to learn scales when they don’t want to learn scales just because you think that’s the *right* way to learn.)

(And unless you’re just a toddler mashing the keys, piano is not a “torment the neighbors” instrument.)

I’m sure you’re great at the piano, but one doesn’t need to be great, or even aspire to be great, to play the piano for fun. Which I think is basically the point of the guy’s video. Can’t I just learn to play Christmas music or show tunes without being pressured to improvise in a fun group? Who cares?!

At some point in my childhood, I really did not see the point of scales or theory. I was always into music and always wanted to take lessons, but wasn't until much later, after years of lessons that things clicked and I understood the point of all those technique and theory exercises. If my parents or teacher had just let me do whatever I wanted, I doubt I would have learned scales or theory, which was at times a real chore. But then later I wouldn't have been able to compose music, or play with some of the groups I did, and I would have lost out on a great experience which is still part of my identity today. There's a big difference in saying "chain the disinterested kids to the piano!" vs "never ask them to do scales or anything not fun!" There's a reasonable middle ground here: "If they want lessons, sometimes they have to do the boring stuff too." I don't think I'll ever convince you to learn your scales, but they are actually pretty handy.

I play multiple instruments and my parents only involvement was attending the occasional concert.

There’s more than one way to skin a cat, but so many posting on this thread are far too rigid to grasp that.

I have multiple professional musician friends today (none of whom are even Asian), and they all *gasp* played scales as children.

And? Who cares about professional musicians in a conversation about playing for fun? Y’all are just proving this kid’s point. EVERYTHING is about competition and achievement for some of you.

I would really like to hear you "play for run". Or, on a second thought, not really.

At least you’re finally admitting you have lost the argument. And the plot.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I saw this in my own Asian family. Here is how it went down:


Son: I am interested in music. I think I like to play the guitar.

Mom: Why would you want to learn that instrument? They are for poor people. We're going to purchase a Steinway grand piano, and you're going to get weekly piano lessons. In addition to that, I am going to sign you up for piano competition events. You must finish in the top three, and if you fail to do that, you will not be allowed to hang out with your friends. You will be judged against other Asian kids, and do not make me look bad.

​Son: I love watching Novak Djokovic play tennis. He is the best tennis player.

Mom: I am going to enroll you into tennis bootcamps along with expensive private tennis lessons. You have to enter tournaments and become the best player in your age group. Other Asian parents posted on WeChat that their kids won tournaments, and I expect the same thing from you. If you have to give up time to hang out with your friends, so be it.

Son: I love art. I think it is cool.

Mom: I am going to sign you up for USArts. I expect you to be the best art student in your age group. I also expect you to come up with an art portfolio so that we can use it to enter art competitions. Other Asian parents brag about their kids winning art competitions, so I expect the same thing from you.

Son: I heard a lot about TJ. I would like to know more.

Mom: I am going to enroll you in Sunshine academy or Best academy. That way, they will prepare you for TJ prep exams. I expect you to be at TJ five years from now.


​Son: Mom, now that college commencement is over, I would like to move as far from you as I can. Thank you for making my childhood a living hell.

I am not Asian. Is it really like this?

I haven't watched the whole video, but I did watch the part about art and piano. There is no way to learn to play piano without regular practice which needs to include some of the boring stuff (scales etc). Nothing is fun all the time.

You can learn to do anything “good enough” for it to be fun. You absolutely do not need to practice scales to learn to play piano “good enough” to just do it for the sheer pleasure of playing.

Would you make your son take lessons on how to throw a proper spiral just because he wants to toss the ole pigskin around with the other guys on Thanksgiving?

I guess I just never met that person - a person who plays piano for the pleasure of playing without actually learning how to play it. Guitar - maybe. Violin - absolutely no way.

You seriously can’t fathom learning to play some songs on literally any instrument without practicing scales?

You can’t imagine looking at sheet music and being able to assign those 7 whole notes to the white keys, and that the notes in the vertical middle of the bar are in the middle of the piano? Higher ones to the right, lower to the left? Half notes are the black keys? You could learn this in about half an hour.

DP who posted right above. I also cannot imagine anyone learning how to play an instrument in half and hour in a way such that they would want to listen to themselves play or subject others to their own playing. Even for an instrument as pleasant sounding as the piano. In half an hour, I can imagine someone learning to play chopsticks in an annoying way. I grew up in a family with perfect pitch and many of us played instruments for fun, non-competitively, but this still required some practice and dedication.

But does it require *practicing scales* which is what you originally said?

(Obviously it does not. Come on.)

I'm not the original PP you were talking to, btw. But yeah, in order to improvise and play in a "fun" group, I knew my scales pretty well. Even the people I know who are self taught but play well enough to impress and audience were actually disciplined about honing skills and practicing. If you just want to plunk notes without understanding much, I'm sure you could learn to play a lot of sheet music without knowing anything about scales. But even then, learning how to play in a way that doesn't torment the neighbors takes a bit of effort. My point was, and I think you agree, kids shouldn't be forced to continue when the interest isn't there. For most teens "interest" just means learning how to play a few favorite pop or classical tunes over and over again, and this is fine.

Yeah, I do agree with your last point. (So don’t force a kid to learn scales when they don’t want to learn scales just because you think that’s the *right* way to learn.)

(And unless you’re just a toddler mashing the keys, piano is not a “torment the neighbors” instrument.)

I’m sure you’re great at the piano, but one doesn’t need to be great, or even aspire to be great, to play the piano for fun. Which I think is basically the point of the guy’s video. Can’t I just learn to play Christmas music or show tunes without being pressured to improvise in a fun group? Who cares?!

no, i don't think it's the right way to learn. it's the teachers at all levels in all countries who tell you it's the right way to learn. you know better, apparently. have many people have you taught to play piano, again?

Proving the point. I bet you’ve had your five foot nothing son getting private basketball coaching for years instead of just letting him play HORSE in the driveway.

nope but I do have 2 kids who are principal violins at their youth orchestras. the would still often skip practice if I didn’t remind them. Again, not Asian.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I saw this in my own Asian family. Here is how it went down:


Son: I am interested in music. I think I like to play the guitar.

Mom: Why would you want to learn that instrument? They are for poor people. We're going to purchase a Steinway grand piano, and you're going to get weekly piano lessons. In addition to that, I am going to sign you up for piano competition events. You must finish in the top three, and if you fail to do that, you will not be allowed to hang out with your friends. You will be judged against other Asian kids, and do not make me look bad.

​Son: I love watching Novak Djokovic play tennis. He is the best tennis player.

Mom: I am going to enroll you into tennis bootcamps along with expensive private tennis lessons. You have to enter tournaments and become the best player in your age group. Other Asian parents posted on WeChat that their kids won tournaments, and I expect the same thing from you. If you have to give up time to hang out with your friends, so be it.

Son: I love art. I think it is cool.

Mom: I am going to sign you up for USArts. I expect you to be the best art student in your age group. I also expect you to come up with an art portfolio so that we can use it to enter art competitions. Other Asian parents brag about their kids winning art competitions, so I expect the same thing from you.

Son: I heard a lot about TJ. I would like to know more.

Mom: I am going to enroll you in Sunshine academy or Best academy. That way, they will prepare you for TJ prep exams. I expect you to be at TJ five years from now.


​Son: Mom, now that college commencement is over, I would like to move as far from you as I can. Thank you for making my childhood a living hell.

I am not Asian. Is it really like this?

I haven't watched the whole video, but I did watch the part about art and piano. There is no way to learn to play piano without regular practice which needs to include some of the boring stuff (scales etc). Nothing is fun all the time.

You can learn to do anything “good enough” for it to be fun. You absolutely do not need to practice scales to learn to play piano “good enough” to just do it for the sheer pleasure of playing.

Would you make your son take lessons on how to throw a proper spiral just because he wants to toss the ole pigskin around with the other guys on Thanksgiving?

I guess I just never met that person - a person who plays piano for the pleasure of playing without actually learning how to play it. Guitar - maybe. Violin - absolutely no way.

You seriously can’t fathom learning to play some songs on literally any instrument without practicing scales?

You can’t imagine looking at sheet music and being able to assign those 7 whole notes to the white keys, and that the notes in the vertical middle of the bar are in the middle of the piano? Higher ones to the right, lower to the left? Half notes are the black keys? You could learn this in about half an hour.

DP who posted right above. I also cannot imagine anyone learning how to play an instrument in half and hour in a way such that they would want to listen to themselves play or subject others to their own playing. Even for an instrument as pleasant sounding as the piano. In half an hour, I can imagine someone learning to play chopsticks in an annoying way. I grew up in a family with perfect pitch and many of us played instruments for fun, non-competitively, but this still required some practice and dedication.

But does it require *practicing scales* which is what you originally said?

(Obviously it does not. Come on.)

I'm not the original PP you were talking to, btw. But yeah, in order to improvise and play in a "fun" group, I knew my scales pretty well. Even the people I know who are self taught but play well enough to impress and audience were actually disciplined about honing skills and practicing. If you just want to plunk notes without understanding much, I'm sure you could learn to play a lot of sheet music without knowing anything about scales. But even then, learning how to play in a way that doesn't torment the neighbors takes a bit of effort. My point was, and I think you agree, kids shouldn't be forced to continue when the interest isn't there. For most teens "interest" just means learning how to play a few favorite pop or classical tunes over and over again, and this is fine.

Yeah, I do agree with your last point. (So don’t force a kid to learn scales when they don’t want to learn scales just because you think that’s the *right* way to learn.)

(And unless you’re just a toddler mashing the keys, piano is not a “torment the neighbors” instrument.)

I’m sure you’re great at the piano, but one doesn’t need to be great, or even aspire to be great, to play the piano for fun. Which I think is basically the point of the guy’s video. Can’t I just learn to play Christmas music or show tunes without being pressured to improvise in a fun group? Who cares?!

no, i don't think it's the right way to learn. it's the teachers at all levels in all countries who tell you it's the right way to learn. you know better, apparently. have many people have you taught to play piano, again?

Proving the point. I bet you’ve had your five foot nothing son getting private basketball coaching for years instead of just letting him play HORSE in the driveway.

nope but I do have 2 kids who are principal violins at their youth orchestras. the would still often skip practice if I didn’t remind them. Again, not Asian.

Impossible

[Anonymous]

Just so we are all on the same page here, if you sign your kid up for piano lessons and make them play scales and practice before they see the value of it, then this is abusive or at least overbearing parenting, yes? Because nobody ever benefits from scales. People that love music and go on to excel in music who say they are thankful that a teacher made them learn scales are all suffering from Stockholm Syndrome, right?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think his parents parented how they thought good parents should. They weren't conditioned to see any beyond that.

However, they couldn't instill fundamental Asian value, of understanding and appreciating parental sacrifices. He turned out to be a whiny, ungrateful young internet adult who has no appreciation for his privileges.

This is more of a lesson for Asian parents to not focus whole life on first doing "good kid duty" and "good adult kid duty" towards their own parents and the go on to doing "good parent duty" towards their kids. No one is ever satisfied or grateful so better do basic duties well and then just focus on their own lives.YOLO.

Also use family THERAPY so everyone can benefit from good mental health and learn to balance their roles.

God I am so sick of hearing about Asian parents' "sacrifices". If both of them work, it's a sacrifice. If one of them elects to stay at home, it's a sacrifice. If a parent bailed out of a professional program because of pregnancy, it's a sacrifice. If they forgot to put gas in the car because they were thinking about what to make for dinner, it's a sacrifice.
For most parents, these are just decisions adults make in the course of their lives or events that come to pass. Chinese parents use any and all tactics to guilt their children and force the sense of Confucian obligation.
-signed, Chinese and I throw dagger eyes at any of my Chinese friends who talk about this crap