My 39 y.o. gym trainer is looking for a husband, with no success on dating apps

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:🎶 no one asked OP for help or her opinion 🎶

So much wrong with OP. Smug, slut-shaming, snob, delighted she’s found other people as awful as she.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If she is hooking up w/the majority of these men - then she is not giving off the impression that she is looking for something serious.

A better strategy would be to date different people w/o sleeping with them.
That will show a man that she is in it for real > not just a fun time.

I bet her prospects will go up if she starts doing that‼️

OP here. I think she is hooking up with them on the second date. But I agree, it is much too soon.

FWIW, she is from Brazil, and she is almost white. She is dating almost exclusively black guys. I'm not sure how that affects the dynamic.

Okay, you agree she is hooking up with guys too soon. So why start this thread wondering what the problem is?

No answer from op?

OP here. Of course I think that hooking up with guys on the second date makes the wrong impression on them. But I myself have not dated in 20 years, and people's attitudes may have changed.

I think that she is not enough of a catch on the dating market, because of a combination of her situation, looks and age. She looks pleasant, but not hot.

What is wrong with you that you need to talk s*#t about your alleged friend like this. You sound wildly jealous, btw. And your husband is cheating on you. Maybe you should look into being better in bed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm struck by you saying she us " relatively" good looking

You are not a friend

OP here. I am not her friend, she is my gym trainer.
Even if she were my friend, I would still dare to say that she is "relatively good-looking." Not all my friends are stunning beauties.

WHY WOULD YOU SAY THIS? Are you a stunning beauty?

We know the answer: no.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If she is hooking up w/the majority of these men - then she is not giving off the impression that she is looking for something serious.

A better strategy would be to date different people w/o sleeping with them.
That will show a man that she is in it for real > not just a fun time.

I bet her prospects will go up if she starts doing that‼️

OP here. I think she is hooking up with them on the second date. But I agree, it is much too soon.

FWIW, she is from Brazil, and she is almost white. She is dating almost exclusively black guys. I'm not sure how that affects the dynamic.

Okay, you agree she is hooking up with guys too soon. So why start this thread wondering what the problem is?

No answer from op?

OP here. Of course I think that hooking up with guys on the second date makes the wrong impression on them. But I myself have not dated in 20 years, and people's attitudes may have changed.

I think that she is not enough of a catch on the dating market, because of a combination of her situation, looks and age. She looks pleasant, but not hot.

You need to be told that just because you have not in 20 years that sleeping with lots of guys on date 2 is a bad idea?

OP here. She is from a lower SE class, where people might not be as "uptight" as in mine. So no, I have not immediately identified this as the primary problem. But now that you told me, I have my answer 😉

Did you seriously just write that? You are a monster.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP you have used this post to offer self-congratulatory details about your own life under the guise of concern-trolling for your trainer, whom you’ve identified as low SES, “relatively” good looking, and easy.

No one believes you care about this person.

So you’re a married middle-aged homeowner with a teen who can afford a trainer? Congratulations. Make sure to collect your prize: it’s a colonoscopy and marriage counseling.

🩷🩷🩷

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:To be blunt, your friend waited too long to find "husband material". I'm guessing she is decent looking and probably has a great body. But, she's now 39 and urgently trying to get married.

\NO MAN WANTS TO DATE A WOMEN WHO IS HELL BENT ON GETTING MARRIED.

1. I'm guessing she passed on a lot of great guys who treated her well and were good looking enough in the past. But, now she's regretting it because only losers are left.

2. She's 39. There is a large pool of single women age 25-35 who are 2-10x more desired by men for many reason.

3. Why is she hooking up with guys after only 1-2 dates? Are you serious? LOL, this makes her easy and men will just leave once they get what they want. Who hooks up after only 1-2 days besides colleges kids or kids in their 20s?

4. Stop trying to date online. She needs to get other hobbies where there are real men around not ones looking for a hook up.

But, in the end your friend's value has decreased a lot. As women get near 40 they have waaaay less chance of getting a real man because, as I stated before, the competition is just too much for her. Sucks, but she shouldn't have turned away all the "good guys" I'm guessing she placed on the friend zone so many times.

And you are definitely a 32-year-old virgin

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Low SES ppl may be easier, and OP is almost white? 😳 Can you imagine someone writing this crap about you “trying to help?” I hereby nominate OP for the worst person award.

These threads are always awful but she stands out even here as a biatch.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You are a generation older. You are Gen X, she's a millenial.

You’re joking right? Six years does not a generation make. According to the stupid guidelines, my sister who is exactly two years older than I am is a different generation. You have to be very stupid to look at the world that way, so I’ll assume you were trying to be funny.

Weird takeaway

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Assuming OP is a woman (unclear) what she cannot get is that a hot 39 year old single personal trainer may be in fact happier than she is. Who among us wouldn’t sort of want that? I love my kid but freedom also sounds great. The only thing the trainer needs to do is realize that you can be perfectly happy without children. If OP actually wanted to be supportive to this woman (doubtful) she would reassure her that the grass isn’t always greener and she should take her time and only date men she feels good with.

OP here (woman, btw). Jesus, does my trainer come across as having the time of her life? She is desperate to nail a good provider and start a family. She just seems to have a different set of values about intimacy than the rest of us.

Yes. She comes off as having a lot more fun than you. You sound like a desiccated husk found in a cave of bones.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I still want to know what “almost white” means. I think I may be almost white and want to know if actual humans use that description when they talk or think about me. 😂

OP here. "Almost white" means that she has some percentage black. Most people in Brazil are mixed race. They actually have different names for the various degrees of "mixture", not merely black/white/mulatto. Here in the US the historic names not in use anymore would have been "quadroon" (1/4 black) and "octoroon" (1/8 black).

OP PLEASE STOP. Every time you type you sound more insane. Racist, classist, condescending, awful. Stop.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
I know its none of my business, it just makes me sad how a capable, kind, relatively good-looking 39 y.o. has such a low market value on the dating apps. She meets up with around 2 guys every week, some younger, some older, hooks up with most, but none seem to want to have anything to do with her after a few days.

I don't want to discourage her, so I would never tell her, but what was she thinking in the past 15 years? The same woman, 15 years younger, would be considered very desirable.

Of course she wants kids and has told me that she got into debt to get her eggs frozen.

Women's market value really decreases a lot after 30.

I am 45, married for 18 years, teenage kid, my own house, earning well, etc. I am in a very different place in life. Side remark: The funny thing is that even though I am only marginally older than her, she considers me to be a generation older.

She doesn't want to date other trainers at the gym, even though there would be good candidates.

Any advice I could offer her? I am quite pessimistic about her prospects.

I have a friend like this.

Personal trainer. Very fit. Later 40s. Divorced. Extremely attractive

Men are pretty basic.

80 a year is not at all unreasonable for her.

And once men realize they're nothing special, they check out immediately.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:To be blunt, your friend waited too long to find "husband material". I'm guessing she is decent looking and probably has a great body. But, she's now 39 and urgently trying to get married.

\NO MAN WANTS TO DATE A WOMEN WHO IS HELL BENT ON GETTING MARRIED.

1. I'm guessing she passed on a lot of great guys who treated her well and were good looking enough in the past. But, now she's regretting it because only losers are left.

2. She's 39. There is a large pool of single women age 25-35 who are 2-10x more desired by men for many reason.

3. Why is she hooking up with guys after only 1-2 dates? Are you serious? LOL, this makes her easy and men will just leave once they get what they want. Who hooks up after only 1-2 days besides colleges kids or kids in their 20s?

4. Stop trying to date online. She needs to get other hobbies where there are real men around not ones looking for a hook up.

But, in the end your friend's value has decreased a lot. As women get near 40 they have waaaay less chance of getting a real man because, as I stated before, the competition is just too much for her. Sucks, but she shouldn't have turned away all the "good guys" I'm guessing she placed on the friend zone so many times.

What a bunch of redpill incel hogwash. The “friend zone” is a BS concept made up by transactional Nice Guys™ who are angry that they put kindness coins in the sex vending machine and nothing came out. Oh no, the horror of being friends with a woman! What a terrible consolation prize!

I’m getting similar incel vibes from the OP. Same “market value” lingo, same focus on dating apps as the be-all/end-all of modern relationships, same concern-trolling about wasted fertility (with barely concealed glee that this woman who dared to pass up “nice guys” in her 20s is now getting her karmic comeuppance). If you really care about her and aren’t just here to gloat or spread redpill propaganda, then be supportive and help her branch out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If she is hooking up w/the majority of these men - then she is not giving off the impression that she is looking for something serious.

A better strategy would be to date different people w/o sleeping with them.
That will show a man that she is in it for real > not just a fun time.

I bet her prospects will go up if she starts doing that‼️

OP here. I think she is hooking up with them on the second date. But I agree, it is much too soon.

FWIW, she is from Brazil, and she is almost white. She is dating almost exclusively black guys. I'm not sure how that affects the dynamic.

Okay, you agree she is hooking up with guys too soon. So why start this thread wondering what the problem is?

No answer from op?

OP here. Of course I think that hooking up with guys on the second date makes the wrong impression on them. But I myself have not dated in 20 years, and people's attitudes may have changed.

I think that she is not enough of a catch on the dating market, because of a combination of her situation, looks and age. She looks pleasant, but not hot.

You need to be told that just because you have not in 20 years that sleeping with lots of guys on date 2 is a bad idea?

OP here. She is from a lower SE class, where people might not be as "uptight" as in mine. So no, I have not immediately identified this as the primary problem. But now that you told me, I have my answer 😉

You are a real piece of work. OP. Mind your own business

[Anonymous]

What a bunch of redpill incel hogwash. The “friend zone” is a BS concept made up by transactional Nice Guys™ who are angry that they put kindness coins in the sex vending machine and nothing came out. Oh no, the horror of being friends with a woman! What a terrible consolation prize!

I’m getting similar incel vibes from the OP. Same “market value” lingo, same focus on dating apps as the be-all/end-all of modern relationships, same concern-trolling about wasted fertility (with barely concealed glee that this woman who dared to pass up “nice guys” in her 20s is now getting her karmic comeuppance). If you really care about her and aren’t just here to gloat or spread redpill propaganda, then be supportive and help her branch out.

Nailed it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:To be blunt, your friend waited too long to find "husband material". I'm guessing she is decent looking and probably has a great body. But, she's now 39 and urgently trying to get married.

\NO MAN WANTS TO DATE A WOMEN WHO IS HELL BENT ON GETTING MARRIED.

1. I'm guessing she passed on a lot of great guys who treated her well and were good looking enough in the past. But, now she's regretting it because only losers are left.

2. She's 39. There is a large pool of single women age 25-35 who are 2-10x more desired by men for many reason.

3. Why is she hooking up with guys after only 1-2 dates? Are you serious? LOL, this makes her easy and men will just leave once they get what they want. Who hooks up after only 1-2 days besides colleges kids or kids in their 20s?

4. Stop trying to date online. She needs to get other hobbies where there are real men around not ones looking for a hook up.

But, in the end your friend's value has decreased a lot. As women get near 40 they have waaaay less chance of getting a real man because, as I stated before, the competition is just too much for her. Sucks, but she shouldn't have turned away all the "good guys" I'm guessing she placed on the friend zone so many times.

What a bunch of redpill incel hogwash. The “friend zone” is a BS concept made up by transactional Nice Guys™ who are angry that they put kindness coins in the sex vending machine and nothing came out. Oh no, the horror of being friends with a woman! What a terrible consolation prize!

I’m getting similar incel vibes from the OP. Same “market value” lingo, same focus on dating apps as the be-all/end-all of modern relationships, same concern-trolling about wasted fertility (with barely concealed glee that this woman who dared to pass up “nice guys” in her 20s is now getting her karmic comeuppance). If you really care about her and aren’t just here to gloat or spread redpill propaganda, then be supportive and help her branch out.

This is so hilariously accurate