My 39 y.o. gym trainer is looking for a husband, with no success on dating apps

[Anonymous]

OP, you sound smug. And like you feel superior. Is she way hotter than you but this is how you make yourself feel superior?

Plenty of women are married to duds or men with serious flaws. Just look at the posts on this board.

And withholding sex does not guarantee a relationship. There are plenty of people in committed relationships who “jumped into bed too early.”

it’s something about her personality, or it’s just a bad luck. Be a good client and let her be.

[Anonymous]

What does relatively good looking mean? Is she a DC 10 or an LA 10?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
I know its none of my business, it just makes me sad how a capable, kind, relatively good-looking 39 y.o. has such a low market value on the dating apps. [/b]She meets up with around 2 guys every week, some younger, some older, hooks up with most, [b]but none seem to want to have anything to do with her after a few days.

I don't want to discourage her, so I would never tell her, but what was she thinking in the past 15 years? The same woman, 15 years younger, would be considered very desirable.

Of course she wants kids and has told me that she got into debt to get her eggs frozen.

Women's market value really decreases a lot after 30.

I am 45, married for 18 years, teenage kid, my own house, earning well, etc. I am in a very different place in life. Side remark: The funny thing is that even though I am only marginally older than her, she considers me to be a generation older.

She doesn't want to date other trainers at the gym, even though there would be good candidates.

Any advice I could offer her? I am quite pessimistic about her prospects.

Most men would consider this doing quite well on the apps

[Anonymous]

If she is hooking up with new guys weekly she is low hanging fruit, easily picked.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
I know its none of my business, it just makes me sad how a capable, kind, relatively good-looking 39 y.o. has such a low market value on the dating apps. She meets up with around 2 guys every week, some younger, some older, hooks up with most, but none seem to want to have anything to do with her after a few days.

I don't want to discourage her, so I would never tell her, but what was she thinking in the past 15 years? The same woman, 15 years younger, would be considered very desirable.

Of course she wants kids and has told me that she got into debt to get her eggs frozen.

Women's market value really decreases a lot after 30.

I am 45, married for 18 years, teenage kid, my own house, earning well, etc. I am in a very different place in life. Side remark: The funny thing is that even though I am only marginally older than her, she considers me to be a generation older.

She doesn't want to date other trainers at the gym, even though there would be good candidates.

Any advice I could offer her? I am quite pessimistic about her prospects.

She meets with about 2 guys every week and hooks up with most? And you wonder why she can’t find someone? Dumb as a box of rocks; both of you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She’s 40 with no education and no financial security, but she expects more from the guy? Not interested in dating other trainers?

Yes. This is the real problem

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She’s 40 with no education and no financial security, but she expects more from the guy?

Of course. Women tend to have unrealistically high expectations. She probably wants him to be at least 6' tall too.

OP here. Yes, she does want the tall guys! So funny, because she is tiny.

Since I am 5'10", I wanted to say something nice and told her that at least she has a larger pool of guys who are taller than she is. Her reaction: "I don't want the short guys either!"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She’s 40 with no education and no financial security, but she expects more from the guy?

Of course. Women tend to have unrealistically high expectations. She probably wants him to be at least 6' tall too.

OP here. Yes, she does want the tall guys! So funny, because she is tiny.

Since I am 5'10", I wanted to say something nice and told her that at least she has a larger pool of guys who are taller than she is. Her reaction: "I don't want the short guys either!"

Men tend to pick taller women for marriage as well. 5.5-5.8 is best height for women

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If she is hooking up w/the majority of these men - then she is not giving off the impression that she is looking for something serious.

A better strategy would be to date different people w/o sleeping with them.
That will show a man that she is in it for real > not just a fun time.

I bet her prospects will go up if she starts doing that‼️

OP here. I think she is hooking up with them on the second date. But I agree, it is much too soon.

FWIW, she is from Brazil, and she is almost white. She is dating almost exclusively black guys. I'm not sure how that affects the dynamic.

[Anonymous]

…almost white?

[Anonymous]

I went on a date with a gym trainer. Her profile said she was 47, but she was really 60.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
I know its none of my business, it just makes me sad how a capable, kind, relatively good-looking 39 y.o. has such a low market value on the dating apps. She meets up with around 2 guys every week, some younger, some older, hooks up with most, but none seem to want to have anything to do with her after a few days.

I don't want to discourage her, so I would never tell her, but what was she thinking in the past 15 years? The same woman, 15 years younger, would be considered very desirable.

Of course she wants kids and has told me that she got into debt to get her eggs frozen.

Women's market value really decreases a lot after 30.

I am 45, married for 18 years, teenage kid, my own house, earning well, etc. I am in a very different place in life. Side remark: The funny thing is that even though I am only marginally older than her, she considers me to be a generation older.

She doesn't want to date other trainers at the gym, even though there would be good candidates.

Any advice I could offer her? I am quite pessimistic about her prospects.

Tell her to stop hooking up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I went on a date with a gym trainer. Her profile said she was 47, but she was really 60.

😬

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If she is hooking up w/the majority of these men - then she is not giving off the impression that she is looking for something serious.

A better strategy would be to date different people w/o sleeping with them.
That will show a man that she is in it for real > not just a fun time.

I bet her prospects will go up if she starts doing that‼️

OP here. I think she is hooking up with them on the second date. But I agree, it is much too soon.

FWIW, she is from Brazil, and she is almost white. She is dating almost exclusively black guys. I'm not sure how that affects the dynamic.

Okay, you agree she is hooking up with guys too soon. So why start this thread wondering what the problem is?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If she is hooking up w/the majority of these men - then she is not giving off the impression that she is looking for something serious.

A better strategy would be to date different people w/o sleeping with them.
That will show a man that she is in it for real > not just a fun time.

I bet her prospects will go up if she starts doing that‼️

OP here. I think she is hooking up with them on the second date. But I agree, it is much too soon.

FWIW, she is from Brazil, and she is almost white. She is dating almost exclusively black guys. I'm not sure how that affects the dynamic.

Ooch - that screams STDs big time does she have HSV2? She needs to get checked and really stop sleeping with men on 2nd date.