Teen won't drink water in school unless I get her a Stanley Cup

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:What is wrong with you people? Really, letting your kid suffer for a water bottle OP? She’s not asking for a car. I got news for you, your kids don’t always agree with you and value what you value. My father made fun of things I wanted as a kid from better clothing to drinking mineral water and liking sushi. Now that jerk likes the same things.

My kid can value what she wants with her own money. We give her an allowance for this reason. If she wants to value it with MY money, she has to make the case for it. That case, also has not to be a stupid stunt of refusing to drink water. If she wants to be a little terrorist, she's earned this modest amount of suffering.

That you're calling it a stunt demonstrates how completely out of touch you are. Why isn't her kid using the water fountain? Do kids make fun of water fountain users as they walk by? Do you know either way? But that builds character, right?

If kids are genuinely being bullied for using the water fountain, then I'm definitely not buying the cup. I'm not encouraging my kid conform herself to that culture.

I was bullied a ton in middle school. My clothes were from Walmart and people made fun of me for that. I remember what that's like, but I'm a better person today for how my parents handled that. I got the clothes I got, and if I wanted something else I used my own money. You know what happened? I got a job and suddenly spending my little money on BS to please kids at school seemed stupid. It is stupid.

But listen, no one is forbidding you from buying your kid this cup, I guess someone has to raise the bullies.

Who's to say you wouldn't have been an even better person if you hadn't been bullied at all?

DP. WTF? Are you blaming a person for being bullied because they didn't waste money on clothes to please a bunch of immature middle schoolers. I just can't with people who think that kind of stuff is okay.

Any decent parent should not buy in to this nonsense and should not teach their child that following fads is important. This is why their are so many selfish, shallow, mean people in the world.

Do you forgo all fads? Nothing in your house to the contrary?

Are you still a teen? What kind of crap are you buyings to still fit in? And fit in with whom? That's the stupidest shit I've read all day. I'm glad my parents didn't buy me every thing I ever asked for as a kid. I'm better off for it. You learn that the world won't end if you don't get the newest shiny item and there will always be a new shiny in thing to have. Nobody can have everything.

Do the clothes you're currently buying help you fit in? What kind of car do you drive? Any rarely used exercise equipment? Something cool in the kitchen?

Negative on all of the above. Something cool in the kitchen? What are you even talking about? No, we are not all sad trend chasers.

Agreed. We buy cars and appliances based on need following research etc.

I don't understand adult strivers. Grow up people.

That PP is revealing a lot about themselves with those assumptions. They have no clue how the rest of us live. I'm laughing thinking that someone thought i bought my toaster or electric kettle to "fit in" as if I even know what brands they were or thought people might be impressed. And does PP presume I have a Peloton? Another mistake. I run outside, no equipment necessary.

The rest of us? What are you talking about? We all wear clothes that help us fit in to our personal circumstances to some degree. Unless you're just wearing sweat pants all that time I guess, but even that's a trend of sorts...

No we don't all desperate need to "fit in". It's not about being stylish or on trend is just about wearing appropriate clothes for the situation. There are work clothes, exercise clothes, casual clothes, etc. Your talk about fitting it is not going to be relatable to every adult. But, I can see you will never understand that.

Understood, as expected you do buy a variety of clothes to fit into different scenarios. Thanks for that clarification.

That's not what fitting in means. If it was then any water bottle would do. Because fitting in means to meet the scenario, a vessel to quench thirst.

[Anonymous]

No. I am in your situation and unless she earns the money to buy it herself, she won't get it.

[Anonymous]

She's in 8th grade. The issue of "fitting in" is at it's zenith. If you can afford a $45 water bottle, get it for her and reserve judgment. If it isn't the kind of thing that is in your budget, explain that.

[Anonymous]

The Stanley is not the worst option for a trendy item. It can be used at home by any member of the family after the trend has died down. I like using a cup with a straw

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Being a first generation immigrant, i just don't get it. 8th grade DD goes all day without drinking water even though her dermatologist and her doctor told her she needed to. She said any other water bottles aside from a Stanley Cup is "trashy" and she would be judged by "people in the hallway". She would rather go for 7 hours without a drop of liquid and it's clearly taking a toll on her skin and overall health. Her close friends are kind although all of them have the "right" sneakers and "right" water bottles. She's in a MoCo public school, which has both FARMS kids and kids from relatively affluent families, I was really hoping to raise a confident daughter who's not too worried about how shes' being perceived by others when it comes to material processions. Am I sending the wrong message by giving in?

I am not an immigrant and when I was in 8th grade we only drank water after PE and that was just a few sips.
My kids now in college back in 8th grade, they drank some water at lunch and then at sports practice.
My point is your kid is fine without constant water.

Also just buy the Stanley cup. Tell her if she loses the one you buy she will have to replace.

And the only message you are sending is that you don't understand child development. Wanting to conform as a young teen is natural stage of development. You can't moralize it out of your child and it won't mean that they aren't confident.

[Anonymous]

Her skin and health are not suffering going 8 hours without drinking water. If she's thirsty, she'll drink. Frankly she probably IS drinking and is just manipulating you so you'll buy her the Stanley.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Her skin and health are not suffering going 8 hours without drinking water. If she's thirsty, she'll drink. Frankly she probably IS drinking and is just manipulating you so you'll buy her the Stanley.

I wondered what was going on with OP's daughter since a dermatologist weighed in. Not sure that the vast majority of us are in that situation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There is middle ground between "buy every trend" and "never give in to trends" I occasionally buy trendy things and sometimes I buy no name stuff. I think most people are like that. Maybe buy the Stanley and see where it leads, you can always have a conversation if you feel like it's getting out of hand.

True, but I think Op’s daughter has a really bad attitude about this and I don’t think she should be rewarded with a Stanley for it. Saying the other cups are trashy and saying she’s going be judged by using one is I’m mentality that I think should not be rewarded. Refusing to drink water because she doesn’t have a Stanley cup is worse than the behavior of a bratty two-year-old. This is why I wouldn’t get her one. I would be having a completely different reaction if her daughter would be having a different attitude.

I have commented on here before that it’s a relatively harmless and benign trend. It’s dumb, but harmless. But if you want to follow a trend, you need to have a better attitude.

[Anonymous]

Just ask her to buy it for herself. Or you contribute half and she pays the rest. My mom dug her heels in and refused to get me a cabbage patch doll because it was too commercial (she was also an immigrant) and it didn’t teach me the huge lesson she thought she was teaching. It was just a doll. At least your daughter wants to hydrate.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Her skin and health are not suffering going 8 hours without drinking water. If she's thirsty, she'll drink. Frankly she probably IS drinking and is just manipulating you so you'll buy her the Stanley.

I wondered what was going on with OP's daughter since a dermatologist weighed in. Not sure that the vast majority of us are in that situation.

Please. Our pediatrician asks my kids if they eat enough vegetables, and the don't, and they are told they should eat more. A dr telling someone to drink more water is like saying get a good night's sleep. They tell everyone the same thing.

[Anonymous]

Np. Let her earn the cup. Trust me, you'll have bigger battles to fight in the future.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There is middle ground between "buy every trend" and "never give in to trends" I occasionally buy trendy things and sometimes I buy no name stuff. I think most people are like that. Maybe buy the Stanley and see where it leads, you can always have a conversation if you feel like it's getting out of hand.

True, but I think Op’s daughter has a really bad attitude about this and I don’t think she should be rewarded with a Stanley for it. Saying the other cups are trashy and saying she’s going be judged by using one is I’m mentality that I think should not be rewarded. Refusing to drink water because she doesn’t have a Stanley cup is worse than the behavior of a bratty two-year-old. This is why I wouldn’t get her one. I would be having a completely different reaction if her daughter would be having a different attitude.

I have commented on here before that it’s a relatively harmless and benign trend. It’s dumb, but harmless. But if you want to follow a trend, you need to have a better attitude.

I'm more anti-trendy cup than you are I think (for us, it's a lot of money), but the bolded is really key for me. Thinking other kids are going to make fun of you can be a chance to talk about bullying, but thinking other cups are trashy is the mindset of a bully, not a bullying victim. I don't want to hear the word "trashy" leave my kid's mouth, it's too close to the kinds of things my family got called growing up. She's not so far removed from being called PWT that I'm going to ignore that.

[Anonymous]

We always used the water fountain.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There is middle ground between "buy every trend" and "never give in to trends" I occasionally buy trendy things and sometimes I buy no name stuff. I think most people are like that. Maybe buy the Stanley and see where it leads, you can always have a conversation if you feel like it's getting out of hand.

True, but I think Op’s daughter has a really bad attitude about this and I don’t think she should be rewarded with a Stanley for it. Saying the other cups are trashy and saying she’s going be judged by using one is I’m mentality that I think should not be rewarded. Refusing to drink water because she doesn’t have a Stanley cup is worse than the behavior of a bratty two-year-old. This is why I wouldn’t get her one. I would be having a completely different reaction if her daughter would be having a different attitude.

I have commented on here before that it’s a relatively harmless and benign trend. It’s dumb, but harmless. But if you want to follow a trend, you need to have a better attitude.

I'm more anti-trendy cup than you are I think (for us, it's a lot of money), but the bolded is really key for me. Thinking other kids are going to make fun of you can be a chance to talk about bullying, but thinking other cups are trashy is the mindset of a bully, not a bullying victim. I don't want to hear the word "trashy" leave my kid's mouth, it's too close to the kinds of things my family got called growing up. She's not so far removed from being called PWT that I'm going to ignore that.

This. OP, you’re focusing on the wrong thing. Your daughter’s attitude is pretty f*cked up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Let her buy it and then afterwards make fun of your kid for falling into trendy purchases of items marked up over 10x why they should cost.