Teen won't drink water in school unless I get her a Stanley Cup

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Being a first generation immigrant, i just don't get it. 8th grade DD goes all day without drinking water even though her dermatologist and her doctor told her she needed to. She said any other water bottles aside from a Stanley Cup is "trashy" and she would be judged by "people in the hallway". She would rather go for 7 hours without a drop of liquid and it's clearly taking a toll on her skin and overall health. Her close friends are kind although all of them have the "right" sneakers and "right" water bottles. She's in a MoCo public school, which has both FARMS kids and kids from relatively affluent families, I was really hoping to raise a confident daughter who's not too worried about how shes' being perceived by others when it comes to material processions. Am I sending the wrong message by giving in?

Get her the stupid cup and trendy shoes but tell her how deeply disappointed you are in her

Also take her back to the old country this summer and show her what real poverty is like

No, don’t do this. If you don’t want to get it, don’t. If you get it, let her enjoy it. I have so many memories of my parents letting me do things or get things but then guilting me about it or telling me it was a waste and stupid and they wouldn’t have done it. It makes no sense.

At this point, I would probably make up a fake thing where we both win. If she does xyz for the next week, just get it for her. Or for halfway through the year, or Valentine’s Day coming up. Whatever excuse. Or, doesn’t she have any of her own money? Let her use that.

It is hard being an immigrant kid. She should not be doing what she’s doing but also it’s just a water bottle. If it is not out of reach financially, get it for her.

[Anonymous]

I would wait until a gift giving occasion and then get her what she wants. Whatever you celebrate. I spread out little manufactured occasions throughout the year for just this reason - Valentines, Easter, bday in June, back to school, Halloween, Xmas. Some are smaller than others. For Valentines Day, I’d get her the Stanley and a favorite treat in a pretty bag. Then it feels like a treat or luxury instead of just spending more for something ordinary and feeling like a chump.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would wait until a gift giving occasion and then get her what she wants. Whatever you celebrate. I spread out little manufactured occasions throughout the year for just this reason - Valentines, Easter, bday in June, back to school, Halloween, Xmas. Some are smaller than others. For Valentines Day, I’d get her the Stanley and a favorite treat in a pretty bag. Then it feels like a treat or luxury instead of just spending more for something ordinary and feeling like a chump.

I think this is a good idea. Also, Valentines day is almost here

[Anonymous]

I would give it as a gift. I am doing that with ds who wants another trendy $$ brand. He's not a "brands" kid generally but everyone likes having a few fit-in, trendy things. I was sort of a grungy kid and for me it was Doc Martens.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Let her dehydrate. She sounds like a silly insecure fool,

Rude. If you were a kid new to a country you would want to assimilate. It’s normal. Hopefully by high school she’ll get better quality friends.

There’s always a drinking fountain she will be fine. Those girls wont accept her more with her stanley. Next it will be the wrong color. Then they will find something else to give her a hard time about.

[Anonymous]

This too shall pass. Get it if you can afford it. Fitting in doesn’t mean they’ll accept her, but she might feel more confident. Yes, it’s dumb, and yes, many of us remember that feeling well. I like the advice to have her earn it or receive it on a special occasion. Disagree with shaming her. Am ok with letting her know that she’s being manipulated by the marketers, though!

[Anonymous]

The cup leaks. She will grow tired of carrying and spilling it all day. By leaks I mean gushes out water.

I’d agree to get a nice sealed water bottle. Look at Owala instead, and she’d need to do extra chores to earn it. They are also popular and all over TikTok.

[Anonymous]

This is how keeping up with the Joneses startS. Always wanting to do with the other person is doing and always wanting to look a certain way because the Joneses look a certain way. It’s a good thing to not start.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Being a first generation immigrant, i just don't get it. 8th grade DD goes all day without drinking water even though her dermatologist and her doctor told her she needed to. She said any other water bottles aside from a Stanley Cup is "trashy" and she would be judged by "people in the hallway". She would rather go for 7 hours without a drop of liquid and it's clearly taking a toll on her skin and overall health. Her close friends are kind although all of them have the "right" sneakers and "right" water bottles. She's in a MoCo public school, which has both FARMS kids and kids from relatively affluent families, I was really hoping to raise a confident daughter who's not too worried about how shes' being perceived by others when it comes to material processions. Am I sending the wrong message by giving in?

Then she can suffer. This BS teaching kids to cater to trends that will be gone in weeks is obscene.

[Anonymous]

So many hypocritical posts in this thread. Everybody here does/has something (and, in reality, LOTS of things) to fit into their current circumstance. But let's drawn the line at a Stanley Cup and pick on a middle schooler trying to fit in during one of the worst stages of youth.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Being a first generation immigrant, i just don't get it. 8th grade DD goes all day without drinking water even though her dermatologist and her doctor told her she needed to. She said any other water bottles aside from a Stanley Cup is "trashy" and she would be judged by "people in the hallway". She would rather go for 7 hours without a drop of liquid and it's clearly taking a toll on her skin and overall health. Her close friends are kind although all of them have the "right" sneakers and "right" water bottles. She's in a MoCo public school, which has both FARMS kids and kids from relatively affluent families, I was really hoping to raise a confident daughter who's not too worried about how shes' being perceived by others when it comes to material processions. Am I sending the wrong message by giving in?

Then she can suffer. This BS teaching kids to cater to trends that will be gone in weeks is obscene.

And if we did an inventory of all your belongings, I'm sure we'd find plenty of BS.

[Anonymous]

For all the people saying get it if you can afford it; make it a gift.

The child is blackmailing her mom and you are giving the mom an out for how she can give it to her.

Don't let your child run your life. She's not paying for it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So many hypocritical posts in this thread. Everybody here does/has something (and, in reality, LOTS of things) to fit into their current circumstance. But let's drawn the line at a Stanley Cup and pick on a middle schooler trying to fit in during one of the worst stages of youth.

Because the dramatic mom is acting like her daughters health is failing bc stubborn daughter isn’t drinking water. It’s like believing your toddler will pass out and die if they hold their breath to get what they want. She will be fine with no water bottlle.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:None of these kids need to be drinking water all day long at school. She can drink plenty of water before and after school.

+1. None of us had water bottles we carried around all day and we were fine. Don’t get her the Stanley cup. She needs to learn to navigate life not be a sheep who tries to extort you. If she gets thirsty, she will drink from the water fountain. - child of immigrants.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So many hypocritical posts in this thread. Everybody here does/has something (and, in reality, LOTS of things) to fit into their current circumstance. But let's drawn the line at a Stanley Cup and pick on a middle schooler trying to fit in during one of the worst stages of youth.

Because the dramatic mom is acting like her daughters health is failing bc stubborn daughter isn’t drinking water. It’s like believing your toddler will pass out and die if they hold their breath to get what they want. She will be fine with no water bottlle.

Honestly, who cares? It's a middle school girl trying to fit in. It's a water bottle. This kid has no idea that in addition to feeling like she suffers the judgment of kids at her school, she suffers the judgment of posters like you who haven't been in middle school in decades.