Teen won't drink water in school unless I get her a Stanley Cup

[Anonymous]

Being a first generation immigrant, i just don't get it. 8th grade DD goes all day without drinking water even though her dermatologist and her doctor told her she needed to. She said any other water bottles aside from a Stanley Cup is "trashy" and she would be judged by "people in the hallway". She would rather go for 7 hours without a drop of liquid and it's clearly taking a toll on her skin and overall health. Her close friends are kind although all of them have the "right" sneakers and "right" water bottles. She's in a MoCo public school, which has both FARMS kids and kids from relatively affluent families, I was really hoping to raise a confident daughter who's not too worried about how shes' being perceived by others when it comes to material processions. Am I sending the wrong message by giving in?

[Anonymous]

Can she do extra chores at home to earn the money to buy the Stanley?
If she has to work hard for it, she will value it more and also be more careful not to lose it.

[Anonymous]

She might feel a little different already because her family is new to America. I would get it even though it’s stupid looking. She’ll probably relax more once she feels like she fits in.

[Anonymous]

Get her the cup. This is not worth a battle. It is important for her to feel like she fits in… that will help develop her confidence. It important at this age to fit in whether or not you understand it or agree with it. You will be doing your daughter a huge favor.

[Anonymous]

Tell her to keep a water bottle in her bag and drink when no one is looking.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Being a first generation immigrant, i just don't get it. 8th grade DD goes all day without drinking water even though her dermatologist and her doctor told her she needed to. She said any other water bottles aside from a Stanley Cup is "trashy" and she would be judged by "people in the hallway". She would rather go for 7 hours without a drop of liquid and it's clearly taking a toll on her skin and overall health. Her close friends are kind although all of them have the "right" sneakers and "right" water bottles. She's in a MoCo public school, which has both FARMS kids and kids from relatively affluent families, I was really hoping to raise a confident daughter who's not too worried about how shes' being perceived by others when it comes to material processions. Am I sending the wrong message by giving in?

Get her the stupid cup and trendy shoes but tell her how deeply disappointed you are in her

Also take her back to the old country this summer and show her what real poverty is like

[Anonymous]

She doesn’t drink anything at lunch? How about from a water fountain?

[Anonymous]

Let her dehydrate. She sounds like a silly insecure fool,

[Anonymous]

If she asked nicely I might agree but with all that drama, no. I wouldn't worry about it.

[Anonymous]

Don't worry. As a kid I never drank anything in the day until dinner, when I'd gulp down about a liter of water. I turned out just fine, and now happily drink water, and only water, throughout each day.

I'd tell her that it's her attitude that's trashy and if she dehydrates from refusing to drink water, she will pay any and all medical bills associated with getting her health back.

I would not buy her a Stanley water bottle.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Let her dehydrate. She sounds like a silly insecure fool,

Rude. If you were a kid new to a country you would want to assimilate. It’s normal. Hopefully by high school she’ll get better quality friends.

[Anonymous]

None of these kids need to be drinking water all day long at school. She can drink plenty of water before and after school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She might feel a little different already because her family is new to America. I would get it even though it’s stupid looking. She’ll probably relax more once she feels like she fits in.

Eh, I don't think that's it. Tons of kids in MCPS are first or second gen immigrants, and a lot of the schools are super culturally diverse. Being exposed to so many cultures was probably the best part of my MCPS education. It's TikTok. That's where all of her peers are getting their value systems from, and it's rubbing off on this kid. OP maybe you could talk to your daughter about the multi billion dollar influencer industry, and ask her if that's what she wants to be led by. You could read a couple articles about it together, and ask what she thinks.

[Anonymous]

Middle school is the prime time for children, and girls especially, to be worried about fitting in and physical status symbols are a part of that. Bullying is worst at that time. I have never been really concerned about what people think or fitting in with the cool girls, but even I was desperate for a pair of the status jeans in middle school. My mother eventually gave in and got me a pair. So for your daughter, if it’s not the Stanley mug, it would be a specific jacket or shoes. It’s not really about the mug, but dealing with tween insecurities which is normal developmentally.

So I would get her one, but I like the idea of having a chore list to “earn” it.

[Anonymous]

There’s no need to constantly be guzzling water throughout the day. She’ll be fine.