DC’s friend broke something expensive - WWYD

[Anonymous]

I think OP should graciously except whatever this kids parents are willing to pay and just eat the rest of the cost. There are kids that I don't invite over because they won't follow our house rules about jumping on furniture and staying out of rooms where they don't belong.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It’s pretty basic manners when you go to someone’s house that you don’t just touch stuff you are curious about! This is a 10 year old, not a 2 year old. I can’t believe the parents who are making excuses for the child.

I don’t know. It’s also pretty basic manners to hang out with your guests when they visit.
I get that OP went to the kitchen, but where were the other three members of her family?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sorry, OP, but it’s just stupid to have such expensive things where kids are playing if you can’t put the things away. You say you live in a small apartment, so it sounds like this is not the stage in your life where you have expensive things for the hobby. Same reason I’m waiting to get super nice furniture. Things happen, things get broken.

NP. This is adorable

Yeah, for New Yorkers small apartments are not a stage of life. Hard to understand when you live in a McMansion, I guess.

I meant having kids who might accidentally break valuable things as a stage of life.

You clearly did not mean that. You very specifically invoked the “small apartment” as being indicative of OP’s stage of life

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s pretty basic manners when you go to someone’s house that you don’t just touch stuff you are curious about! This is a 10 year old, not a 2 year old. I can’t believe the parents who are making excuses for the child.

I don’t know. It’s also pretty basic manners to hang out with your guests when they visit.
I get that OP went to the kitchen, but where were the other three members of her family?

You’re reaching so hard lol

[Anonymous]

I am astounded that you have thousands of dollars worth of expensive hobby equipment yet… live in an apartment

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am astounded that you have thousands of dollars worth of expensive hobby equipment yet… live in an apartment

God I love when DCUMers accidentally expose how provincial they are

[Anonymous]

My son’s friend broke the screen on our new TV the day after it had been installed. I watched him do it. It was a mistake. The parents are also my friends and I did not say a word to them. Replaced the TV with (another) new one when I could afford it (which was not immediately). It was a $500+ TV. When people are over at my house, I do not hold them or their children responsible and would not even mention unintentional or even intentional damage to parents. If my own child broke something unintentionally, I would not charge them, and I treat all of my kids’ friends like my own when I have them. Another of my kids’ friends was using a play light sabre and knocked down a plantation shutter. It was a mistake when he and my son were playing. I did not say a word to that parent and had it repaired when I could. This is how to graciously handle something like this, not chasing people around for money. That is very distasteful and what I would consider low-class behavior. FWIW, I am not wealthy at all (a DCUM-poor divorced mom with an under $200 salary), so replacing/repairing these items was a financial burden to me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It’s funny people are talking about the friendship. This friendship is over, no matter what happens next or who pays for what.

Yup.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s pretty basic manners when you go to someone’s house that you don’t just touch stuff you are curious about! This is a 10 year old, not a 2 year old. I can’t believe the parents who are making excuses for the child.

I don’t know. It’s also pretty basic manners to hang out with your guests when they visit.
I get that OP went to the kitchen, but where were the other three members of her family?

This is the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard. So your husband and all your additional children attend every play date you schedule?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am astounded that you have thousands of dollars worth of expensive hobby equipment yet… live in an apartment

God I love when DCUMers accidentally expose how provincial they are

Yep. Bet you anything OP’s small apartment is worth far more than your house. DC real estate can’t hold a candle to NYC real estate in terms of value.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:^^Awkward

Feel stupid? This is why you don’t criticize others’ grammar or spelling on an anonymous forum. Honestly.

No, because I know how to spell "awkward' but made a typo. You don't understand verb tenses and didn't even know you made a mistake while trying to cast snark shade.

I think you're funny.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm on the fence. On the one hand, I would be tempted to go with Lesson Learned.
On the other, I think kid shouldn't get away with playing with it, though did he know he shouldn't.

If i could afford it I would either take what is offered or not have said anything.

I did ask. While this is awkward, I’m not unhappy I did that - I was gracious and I care about my husband. I really don’t see how this one is lesson learned, I guess because DH has been pretty clear that the force taken to create the damage done was purposeful, and the kids aren’t super little anymore, and the parent was present.

Did you tell them you expected reimbursement? You must do that otherwise you leave a grey area. If your husband believes it was done maliciously then demand payment. If they refuse, and you’re as rich as you say, sue them.

Yes. We discussed repair and replacement and that’s when she went to her husband who gave her the lower estimate. I’m not accusing anyone of malice and we’d obviously never sue, but I just wanted to get some feedback because I feel awkward. We’d tabled this over the holidays and DH told me the ultimate replacement cost today.

I'm not sure you should get a new item on your friend's dime. Fixing the damage is one thing, getting a new one is another. For example, I have a very expensive camera but it's now several years old. I have been looking at a new one and the current model is much nicer than mine. Asking someone to buy that one for me puts me in a better position, which seems ridiculous for someone else to cover the cost of.

I agree with this. If the repair cost is around the amount they offered, I don't think it's cool to go back and ask for a total replacement just in case the repair doesn't work. Even though it IS their kid's fault, it sounds like they are making a reasonable offer here, albeit not your ideal solution.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sorry, OP, but it’s just stupid to have such expensive things where kids are playing if you can’t put the things away. You say you live in a small apartment, so it sounds like this is not the stage in your life where you have expensive things for the hobby. Same reason I’m waiting to get super nice furniture. Things happen, things get broken.

NP. This is adorable

Yeah, for New Yorkers small apartments are not a stage of life. Hard to understand when you live in a McMansion, I guess.

I meant having kids who might accidentally break valuable things as a stage of life.

You clearly did not mean that. You very specifically invoked the “small apartment” as being indicative of OP’s stage of life

I absolutely meant that. This is why I included the fact that I’m waiting (until my kids are older) to get very nice furniture. My kids are well-behaved but they are more prone to accidents because they are young and also friends come over. It’s not the size of the house but whether the items are portable enough to be put away (this wasn’t) or understanding that kids do dumb stuff sometimes. Because they’re kids and by definition, immature. Parent wasn’t watching like a hawk bc the kids are older but they are still young enough to do dumb stuff (as OP’s story illustrates). Save the expensive stuff until later.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sorry, OP, but it’s just stupid to have such expensive things where kids are playing if you can’t put the things away. You say you live in a small apartment, so it sounds like this is not the stage in your life where you have expensive things for the hobby. Same reason I’m waiting to get super nice furniture. Things happen, things get broken.

NP. This is adorable

Yeah, for New Yorkers small apartments are not a stage of life. Hard to understand when you live in a McMansion, I guess.

Having kids is a stage of life.
It’s hard to imagine when you are in the middle of it, but in 5 years, this won’t be an issue. Most people would get something less expensive but workable for now and get the furniture that’s thousands of dollars when the kids are older.

This is someone else's kid! We are 50 year old DINKs and we have young kids at hte house sometimes when they come with their parents. You really learn a lot about what fun to touch in your house when someone else's kid shows up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am astounded that you have thousands of dollars worth of expensive hobby equipment yet… live in an apartment

Have you ever been to New York, friend?