Forum Index
»
Elementary School-Aged Kids
DC’s friend broke something expensive - WWYD
![[Post New]](/jforum/templates/default/images/icon_minipost_new.gif){kind=icon}
Anonymous
|
I had a couple of friends and their kids over recently, and DH discovered after that one of the kids damaged (ruined) an expensive piece of equipment for his hobby, something he’s been very passionate about for several decades. The kid has been over before, and that child’s mom was in the room, whereas I was in the kitchen. We did not discover the damage for a couple of days because things were so nuts that my DH had zero downtime. When I contacted my friends and asked that they ask their kids, one said her DC “thought they hadn’t damaged it” but did confess to playing with it. They offered to pay to replace, which is great BUT: friend got an “estimate” for replacement from her own husband, for several hundred dollars. According to my DH, who is scrupulous and fair, it would cost several hundred to - maybe - fix with no guarantees, and in the low 4 figures to replace. This is something he uses 5-7 days a week. He’s angered by the manipulation of a price cap, and by my friend hedging about how according to the kid who did it, they did not think they actually did the damage that they certainly did. Kids are 10 and my husband is pissed - and he’s very slow to anger. FWIW, we are fine financially, these particular friends are wealthier. Nothing like this has happened before.
Would you ask for the funds to repair, or for full replacement? |
Anonymous
| Why was a low 4 figures item left out where kids were playing? |
Anonymous
It isn’t an easily movable thing and is always out, and they’ve been over before! I get it, we’re in the wrong no matter what. |
Anonymous
|
I'd give them the estimate you have from your DH and say you would appreciate if they gave you half of that cost.
The reality is, when you have people over, you run the risk of things getting damaged or ruined. We once had an adult dinner guest accidentally kick the corner of a standing mirror, causing the whole thing to fall and shatter completely. She and her husband offered to replace it saying they'd seen a standing mirror at Ikea recently. Ours was over $1000. |
Anonymous
|
Send them the actual cost. Tell, don’t request, them to replace it. Kids are out of control these days. Hopefully this is a wake up call for them.
Finally, dump them as friends. |
Anonymous
| So weird to put out so many details but then be annoyingly vague on what the object is. Obviously with this obfuscation the other people would still recognize the story. |
Anonymous
|
You graciously accept what they're willing to give, and pay for the rest out of pocket, because this is the cost of welcoming kids into your home. A 10 year old usually doesn't know what's expensive and what's not, especially if it's an unusual item. I do not think it's fair to demand the full cost of the item. If you have valuables in your home, it should be clearly stated multiple times that the kids shouldn't go near them (and maybe lock the door if they're in a special room).
If this kid shows a patterns of hyper behavior, you'll want to curtail home playdates with them. I had one friend of my son's nearly wrench off the banisters while trying to rappel down the staircase, and another one swung a bat and missed my chandelier by an inch. His mother was horrified. We did outside playdates with those two after that. |
Anonymous
Eff it. It was part of his stereo. He’s a big music collector. We all live in apartments, we’ve all been over before and the kid deliberately opened the turntable case and ruined something. It wasn’t because of roughhousing. |
Anonymous
| Telescope? Fancy camera?? |
Anonymous
I feel bad about the whole thing, because I feel awkward, is all. I can’t edit posts. |
Anonymous
The people with out of control kids will definitely be taking this tack. |
Anonymous
Its not roughhousing but it shows the child lacks discipline. I’m sure the other family is embarrassed. Just tell them how much it costs to fix. It will make up for their delinquent child. |
Anonymous
|
I'm on the fence. On the one hand, I would be tempted to go with Lesson Learned.
On the other, I think kid shouldn't get away with playing with it, though did he know he shouldn't. If i could afford it I would either take what is offered or not have said anything. |
Anonymous
I did ask. While this is awkward, I’m not unhappy I did that - I was gracious and I care about my husband. I really don’t see how this one is lesson learned, I guess because DH has been pretty clear that the force taken to create the damage done was purposeful, and the kids aren’t super little anymore, and the parent was present. |
Anonymous
Did you tell them you expected reimbursement? You must do that otherwise you leave a grey area. If your husband believes it was done maliciously then demand payment. If they refuse, and you’re as rich as you say, sue them. |