DC’s friend broke something expensive - WWYD

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I wouldn’t demand money. When you have guests around there is always the possibility that things get broken. You should just be gracious about it and chalk it up to bad luck.

+1

I wouldn’t have said anything, TBH. Pretty awkward, and can never really be entirely sure what happened. Are you certain your own kids did not play a role- and where were they when this happened? We don’t keep anything expensive out for this reason, but I understand with apartment living this is harder to avoid.

That said, if someone claimed my kid broke something I’d just pay in full regardless. That said, it may damage the friendship if I felt friend was being difficult or blaming my kid for something he did not do.

But they did do it - DC and I never touch it, the other guests did not, the child said they did it. No one else played a role, and all of these people have been over so many times over the year. The child said they touched it to their mom when asked and had to have opened the cover to do it. She told me he said he touched it.

You are so focused on “being right “ that you are going to lose this person as a friend. Hopefully your husbands expensive hobby is worth losing this friendship.

OP here; you’re conflating this thread with what I’ll communicate. This stopped being responsive and productive by page 2, but the pile-on here led by some very silly, very invested, very insistent on their wrong afactual takes, is a different thing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I've been in a situation like this as the parent of the child who broke the item. My 6 yo broke a tv screen at a friend's house. A total freak accident that happened when the children were unsupervised in the basement. As soon as the mother told me, I immediately offered to replace the TV. Of course it turned out to be a $2500 TV, but I felt that I had no option but to just replace since I offered. It especially burned since the tv was not brand new, so they ended up getting a newer, better model TV on us, but my child is the one who broke the TV, even though they were playing a rough game, unsupervised at the behest of their children...

I still have some resentment about it, given that we don't let children play unsupervised around anything valuable in our house. The replacement cost was not nothing for us, and this family is far wealthier. Additionally, the children of these friends touch everything when they come over to our house, even after being told no do not touch (and this particularly touchy kid is 4 yrs older than our kid and should know better).

The family is in our greater school friend group, so we also decided to suck it up and pay because we didn't want to cause any drama, and it turned out that the expensive TV family is now looked down upon by the rest of the group because all were horrified that they accepted our offer to replace. DH and I were not the ones who told others. We just replaced it quietly and moved on because we were somewhat embarrassed. The broken TV dad was the one who mentioned to others. Everyone knows how much disposable income this family has because the dad brags a bit and talks about money far more than most.

Long winded story OP, but, you might want to just pay to replace yourself if there is the chance that others will judge and you suffer social consequences for being viewed as cheap by your friend group. If you have the money to replace, and it is not a huge burden, is it worth the potential social cost?

This strikes me as an odd story because 1.) you seem overly concerned with how much money the other family has and 2.) technology advances so far, so quick with televisions, it is hard to believe you upgraded their replacement 3.) most people I know with that much money, do not talk about money (like the first rule of fight club) and 4.) just because they live in a bigger and/or newer house, does not make someone rich.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I wouldn’t demand money. When you have guests around there is always the possibility that things get broken. You should just be gracious about it and chalk it up to bad luck.

+1

I wouldn’t have said anything, TBH. Pretty awkward, and can never really be entirely sure what happened. Are you certain your own kids did not play a role- and where were they when this happened? We don’t keep anything expensive out for this reason, but I understand with apartment living this is harder to avoid.

That said, if someone claimed my kid broke something I’d just pay in full regardless. That said, it may damage the friendship if I felt friend was being difficult or blaming my kid for something he did not do.

But they did do it - DC and I never touch it, the other guests did not, the child said they did it. No one else played a role, and all of these people have been over so many times over the year. The child said they touched it to their mom when asked and had to have opened the cover to do it. She told me he said he touched it.

You are so focused on “being right “ that you are going to lose this person as a friend. Hopefully your husbands expensive hobby is worth losing this friendship.

OP here; you’re conflating this thread with what I’ll communicate. This stopped being responsive and productive by page 2, but the pile-on here led by some very silly, very invested, very insistent on their wrong afactual takes, is a different thing.

OP ignore the people who are like this - they assume you have more money thatn they do - therein lies the rub. They think they can come over to your house and do whatever TF they want. This is where you haing them over to your house ends. Ten years old is more than old enough to know better.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Legally you are entitled to none, since a seven year old is not liable for negligence.

Depends on the state.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sorry, OP, but it’s just stupid to have such expensive things where kids are playing if you can’t put the things away. You say you live in a small apartment, so it sounds like this is not the stage in your life where you have expensive things for the hobby. Same reason I’m waiting to get super nice furniture. Things happen, things get broken.

NP. This is adorable

Yeah, for New Yorkers small apartments are not a stage of life. Hard to understand when you live in a McMansion, I guess.

Having kids is a stage of life.
It’s hard to imagine when you are in the middle of it, but in 5 years, this won’t be an issue. Most people would get something less expensive but workable for now and get the furniture that’s thousands of dollars when the kids are older.

This is someone else's kid! We are 50 year old DINKs and we have young kids at hte house sometimes when they come with their parents. You really learn a lot about what fun to touch in your house when someone else's kid shows up.

Are you OP? Subject line says this is OP’s kid’s friend.

No, not OP - but the post makes clear that OP is friends with the parents, too. So you can have people over with their little kids and run the risk of this happening.

10 isn’t a little kid.

It’s still a little kid.
A 10 year old’s prefrontal cortex (the part of your brain that controls judgement) is not much more developed than a 5 year old’s.

It has to dowith age of reasonable responsibility - depending on the state. In most states, OP would be liable for damages.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I wouldn’t demand money. When you have guests around there is always the possibility that things get broken. You should just be gracious about it and chalk it up to bad luck.

+1

I wouldn’t have said anything, TBH. Pretty awkward, and can never really be entirely sure what happened. Are you certain your own kids did not play a role- and where were they when this happened? We don’t keep anything expensive out for this reason, but I understand with apartment living this is harder to avoid.

That said, if someone claimed my kid broke something I’d just pay in full regardless. That said, it may damage the friendship if I felt friend was being difficult or blaming my kid for something he did not do.

But they did do it - DC and I never touch it, the other guests did not, the child said they did it. No one else played a role, and all of these people have been over so many times over the year. The child said they touched it to their mom when asked and had to have opened the cover to do it. She told me he said he touched it.

You are so focused on “being right “ that you are going to lose this person as a friend. Hopefully your husbands expensive hobby is worth losing this friendship.

OP here; you’re conflating this thread with what I’ll communicate. This stopped being responsive and productive by page 2, but the pile-on here led by some very silly, very invested, very insistent on their wrong afactual takes, is a different thing.

OP ignore the people who are like this - they assume you have more money thatn they do - therein lies the rub. They think they can come over to your house and do whatever TF they want. This is where you haing them over to your house ends. Ten years old is more than old enough to know better.

Pffffft- NOPE.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What a fun thread.

You can practically hear OP squealing with excitement over all the attention.

Projection is a powerful thing.

I agree with PPP and think PP is still OP coming back and not identifying herself as such. There’s a defensive and unkind tone throughout the thread that matches OP’s after she seemed to stop around page 9.

Nope - I’m OP, and I wrote the projection post. I wasn’t unkind, the responses of some of you are truly bananas.

Happy new year, Troll!

Rotten everything backatcha! Sorry you couldn’t feel like you “won” an argument here, doof.

[Anonymous]

I've read this whole thread and I have a real question. How is a turntable a "hobby"? Do you mean that he listens to records several times a week and that is what you are calling his hobby? Plus maybe goes out hunting for old vinyl as part of the hobby? Or is is a turntable a piece of equipment like what a DJ uses to mix his own music, where you move it to make the scratchy sound, and so producing music is his hobby?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I wouldn’t demand money. When you have guests around there is always the possibility that things get broken. You should just be gracious about it and chalk it up to bad luck.

+1

I wouldn’t have said anything, TBH. Pretty awkward, and can never really be entirely sure what happened. Are you certain your own kids did not play a role- and where were they when this happened? We don’t keep anything expensive out for this reason, but I understand with apartment living this is harder to avoid.

That said, if someone claimed my kid broke something I’d just pay in full regardless. That said, it may damage the friendship if I felt friend was being difficult or blaming my kid for something he did not do.

But they did do it - DC and I never touch it, the other guests did not, the child said they did it. No one else played a role, and all of these people have been over so many times over the year. The child said they touched it to their mom when asked and had to have opened the cover to do it. She told me he said he touched it.

You are so focused on “being right “ that you are going to lose this person as a friend. Hopefully your husbands expensive hobby is worth losing this friendship.

The rich lady threw that friendship out the window the moment she asked the other rich family to replace an old record player that some kids broke. She’s probably the talk of the neighborhood already.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I wouldn’t demand money. When you have guests around there is always the possibility that things get broken. You should just be gracious about it and chalk it up to bad luck.

+1

I wouldn’t have said anything, TBH. Pretty awkward, and can never really be entirely sure what happened. Are you certain your own kids did not play a role- and where were they when this happened? We don’t keep anything expensive out for this reason, but I understand with apartment living this is harder to avoid.

That said, if someone claimed my kid broke something I’d just pay in full regardless. That said, it may damage the friendship if I felt friend was being difficult or blaming my kid for something he did not do.

But they did do it - DC and I never touch it, the other guests did not, the child said they did it. No one else played a role, and all of these people have been over so many times over the year. The child said they touched it to their mom when asked and had to have opened the cover to do it. She told me he said he touched it.

You are so focused on “being right “ that you are going to lose this person as a friend. Hopefully your husbands expensive hobby is worth losing this friendship.

OP here; you’re conflating this thread with what I’ll communicate. This stopped being responsive and productive by page 2, but the pile-on here led by some very silly, very invested, very insistent on their wrong afactual takes, is a different thing.

OP ignore the people who are like this - they assume you have more money thatn they do - therein lies the rub. They think they can come over to your house and do whatever TF they want. This is where you haing them over to your house ends. Ten years old is more than old enough to know better.

Pffffft- NOPE.

^ The tell-tale raspberry and all-caps of the sh!tty mom to a burgeoning ahole kid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I wouldn’t demand money. When you have guests around there is always the possibility that things get broken. You should just be gracious about it and chalk it up to bad luck.

+1

I wouldn’t have said anything, TBH. Pretty awkward, and can never really be entirely sure what happened. Are you certain your own kids did not play a role- and where were they when this happened? We don’t keep anything expensive out for this reason, but I understand with apartment living this is harder to avoid.

That said, if someone claimed my kid broke something I’d just pay in full regardless. That said, it may damage the friendship if I felt friend was being difficult or blaming my kid for something he did not do.

But they did do it - DC and I never touch it, the other guests did not, the child said they did it. No one else played a role, and all of these people have been over so many times over the year. The child said they touched it to their mom when asked and had to have opened the cover to do it. She told me he said he touched it.

You are so focused on “being right “ that you are going to lose this person as a friend. Hopefully your husbands expensive hobby is worth losing this friendship.

OP here; you’re conflating this thread with what I’ll communicate. This stopped being responsive and productive by page 2, but the pile-on here led by some very silly, very invested, very insistent on their wrong afactual takes, is a different thing.

OP ignore the people who are like this - they assume you have more money thatn they do - therein lies the rub. They think they can come over to your house and do whatever TF they want. This is where you haing them over to your house ends. Ten years old is more than old enough to know better.

Pffffft- NOPE.

^ The tell-tale raspberry and all-caps of the sh!tty mom to a burgeoning ahole kid.

Yep it’s OP alright.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You graciously accept what they're willing to give, and pay for the rest out of pocket, because this is the cost of welcoming kids into your home. A 10 year old usually doesn't know what's expensive and what's not, especially if it's an unusual item. I do not think it's fair to demand the full cost of the item. If you have valuables in your home, it should be clearly stated multiple times that the kids shouldn't go near them (and maybe lock the door if they're in a special room).

If this kid shows a patterns of hyper behavior, you'll want to curtail home playdates with them. I had one friend of my son's nearly wrench off the banisters while trying to rappel down the staircase, and another one swung a bat and missed my chandelier by an inch. His mother was horrified. We did outside playdates with those two after that.

+1 especially since it sounds like you can afford it

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I've read this whole thread and I have a real question. How is a turntable a "hobby"? Do you mean that he listens to records several times a week and that is what you are calling his hobby? Plus maybe goes out hunting for old vinyl as part of the hobby? Or is is a turntable a piece of equipment like what a DJ uses to mix his own music, where you move it to make the scratchy sound, and so producing music is his hobby?

OP. Okay, sure. He’s been collecting music for over 25 years and plays records typically daily. I know this is somehow illegitimate and this is all his/my fault despite reality because DH is not DJ Khaled or Calvin Harris, but hey. I fear he does not “move it to make the scratchy sound.” I did not realize that whittling, the study of ancient languages, and golf were the only hobbies acceptable on this crazy thread according to you and your fellow asylum pals.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I wouldn’t demand money. When you have guests around there is always the possibility that things get broken. You should just be gracious about it and chalk it up to bad luck.

+1

I wouldn’t have said anything, TBH. Pretty awkward, and can never really be entirely sure what happened. Are you certain your own kids did not play a role- and where were they when this happened? We don’t keep anything expensive out for this reason, but I understand with apartment living this is harder to avoid.

That said, if someone claimed my kid broke something I’d just pay in full regardless. That said, it may damage the friendship if I felt friend was being difficult or blaming my kid for something he did not do.

But they did do it - DC and I never touch it, the other guests did not, the child said they did it. No one else played a role, and all of these people have been over so many times over the year. The child said they touched it to their mom when asked and had to have opened the cover to do it. She told me he said he touched it.

You are so focused on “being right “ that you are going to lose this person as a friend. Hopefully your husbands expensive hobby is worth losing this friendship.

OP here; you’re conflating this thread with what I’ll communicate. This stopped being responsive and productive by page 2, but the pile-on here led by some very silly, very invested, very insistent on their wrong afactual takes, is a different thing.

OP ignore the people who are like this - they assume you have more money thatn they do - therein lies the rub. They think they can come over to your house and do whatever TF they want. This is where you haing them over to your house ends. Ten years old is more than old enough to know better.

Pffffft- NOPE.

^ The tell-tale raspberry and all-caps of the sh!tty mom to a burgeoning ahole kid.

Yep it’s OP alright.

Yep, it’s me, and you’re still Sherlock Dolt.