DC’s friend broke something expensive - WWYD

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm on the fence. On the one hand, I would be tempted to go with Lesson Learned.
On the other, I think kid shouldn't get away with playing with it, though did he know he shouldn't.

If i could afford it I would either take what is offered or not have said anything.

I did ask. While this is awkward, I’m not unhappy I did that - I was gracious and I care about my husband. I really don’t see how this one is lesson learned, I guess because DH has been pretty clear that the force taken to create the damage done was purposeful, and the kids aren’t super little anymore, and the parent was present.

Did you tell them you expected reimbursement? You must do that otherwise you leave a grey area. If your husband believes it was done maliciously then demand payment. If they refuse, and you’re as rich as you say, sue them.

Yes. We discussed repair and replacement and that’s when she went to her husband who gave her the lower estimate. I’m not accusing anyone of malice and we’d obviously never sue, but I just wanted to get some feedback because I feel awkward. We’d tabled this over the holidays and DH told me the ultimate replacement cost today.

Sorry OP, I think you're way out of line. If your DH has valuable equipment, it should not be accessible to visitors, especially kid visitors. Never in a million years would I expect guests to pay for something like this.

I am in no way out of line - we all live in smallish apartments, not in DC - I used to live in DC. There is no practical way to make this equipment inaccessible based on the layout of our home. They’ve been over before when the kids were years and years younger. The equipment was under a cover. My friend was in the room, and I was getting stuff to eat for people. No matter what some will tell me, I didn’t do anything wrong here.

You're fine, OP. Taking the cover off a turntable and tampering with it is egregious for a 10 year old. The parents are trying it on with the lowball estimate and the semi-denial.

Thanks, I appreciate it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You graciously accept what they're willing to give, and pay for the rest out of pocket, because this is the cost of welcoming kids into your home. A 10 year old usually doesn't know what's expensive and what's not, especially if it's an unusual item. I do not think it's fair to demand the full cost of the item. If you have valuables in your home, it should be clearly stated multiple times that the kids shouldn't go near them (and maybe lock the door if they're in a special room).

If this kid shows a patterns of hyper behavior, you'll want to curtail home playdates with them. I had one friend of my son's nearly wrench off the banisters while trying to rappel down the staircase, and another one swung a bat and missed my chandelier by an inch. His mother was horrified. We did outside playdates with those two after that.

+1
I went to a dinner party at a friend's house and they had a very expensive ceramic box that the child of another guest broke. The hostess was heart broken (to me later when I asked) but didn't make a big deal out of it at all. I was surprised the other guest didn't offer to replace it but just apologized on behalf of her son. He was playing soccer inside and kicked the ball too high.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think I would be clear that "it's actually specialized equipment, and it will cost X amount to repair by our quote. Thank you for anything you are able to contribute," and then get really clear really fast on how to make sure it doesn't happen again.

This. Be open with them in case they are willing to pay the full amount. But don't demand it. Things do happen. If you ruin a couch by spilling red wine on it, the host doesn't ask you to find the replacement.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm on the fence. On the one hand, I would be tempted to go with Lesson Learned.
On the other, I think kid shouldn't get away with playing with it, though did he know he shouldn't.

If i could afford it I would either take what is offered or not have said anything.

I did ask. While this is awkward, I’m not unhappy I did that - I was gracious and I care about my husband. I really don’t see how this one is lesson learned, I guess because DH has been pretty clear that the force taken to create the damage done was purposeful, and the kids aren’t super little anymore, and the parent was present.

Did you tell them you expected reimbursement? You must do that otherwise you leave a grey area. If your husband believes it was done maliciously then demand payment. If they refuse, and you’re as rich as you say, sue them.

Yes. We discussed repair and replacement and that’s when she went to her husband who gave her the lower estimate. I’m not accusing anyone of malice and we’d obviously never sue, but I just wanted to get some feedback because I feel awkward. We’d tabled this over the holidays and DH told me the ultimate replacement cost today.

Sorry OP, I think you're way out of line. If your DH has valuable equipment, it should not be accessible to visitors, especially kid visitors. Never in a million years would I expect guests to pay for something like this.

I am in no way out of line - we all live in smallish apartments, not in DC - I used to live in DC. There is no practical way to make this equipment inaccessible based on the layout of our home. They’ve been over before when the kids were years and years younger. The equipment was under a cover. My friend was in the room, and I was getting stuff to eat for people. No matter what some will tell me, I didn’t do anything wrong here.

Yeah, OP. You need to make it really clear to your kids and to their friends that this is a very expensive and fragile piece of equipment and they are NEVER to touch it.

[Anonymous]

I get having expensive hobby equipment and I’d be devastated if I lost something due to a kid’s misbehavior. But since it isn’t new, I think the replacement offer is the best solution. It’s not fair for you to expect them to replace it. What’s fair is repair or present value of the item. I’d suggest asking who would do the repair for the estimate they got and then take it there.

Honestly in the long run, theres no good solution. The item is always worth more to you than replacement value. If you can’t live with a repair then friendships will suffer.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm on the fence. On the one hand, I would be tempted to go with Lesson Learned.
On the other, I think kid shouldn't get away with playing with it, though did he know he shouldn't.

If i could afford it I would either take what is offered or not have said anything.

I did ask. While this is awkward, I’m not unhappy I did that - I was gracious and I care about my husband. I really don’t see how this one is lesson learned, I guess because DH has been pretty clear that the force taken to create the damage done was purposeful, and the kids aren’t super little anymore, and the parent was present.

Did you tell them you expected reimbursement? You must do that otherwise you leave a grey area. If your husband believes it was done maliciously then demand payment. If they refuse, and you’re as rich as you say, sue them.

Yes. We discussed repair and replacement and that’s when she went to her husband who gave her the lower estimate. I’m not accusing anyone of malice and we’d obviously never sue, but I just wanted to get some feedback because I feel awkward. We’d tabled this over the holidays and DH told me the ultimate replacement cost today.

Sorry OP, I think you're way out of line. If your DH has valuable equipment, it should not be accessible to visitors, especially kid visitors. Never in a million years would I expect guests to pay for something like this.

I am in no way out of line - we all live in smallish apartments, not in DC - I used to live in DC. There is no practical way to make this equipment inaccessible based on the layout of our home. They’ve been over before when the kids were years and years younger. The equipment was under a cover. My friend was in the room, and I was getting stuff to eat for people. No matter what some will tell me, I didn’t do anything wrong here.

You're fine, OP. Taking the cover off a turntable and tampering with it is egregious for a 10 year old. The parents are trying it on with the lowball estimate and the semi-denial.

Thanks, I appreciate it.[/quote

I wouldn’t vilify the other parents- I assume they are trying to do the right thing and just googled xx equipment repair, if it’s specialized hobby equipment you can expect them to know the exact amount.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm on the fence. On the one hand, I would be tempted to go with Lesson Learned.
On the other, I think kid shouldn't get away with playing with it, though did he know he shouldn't.

If i could afford it I would either take what is offered or not have said anything.

I did ask. While this is awkward, I’m not unhappy I did that - I was gracious and I care about my husband. I really don’t see how this one is lesson learned, I guess because DH has been pretty clear that the force taken to create the damage done was purposeful, and the kids aren’t super little anymore, and the parent was present.

Did you tell them you expected reimbursement? You must do that otherwise you leave a grey area. If your husband believes it was done maliciously then demand payment. If they refuse, and you’re as rich as you say, sue them.

Yes. We discussed repair and replacement and that’s when she went to her husband who gave her the lower estimate. I’m not accusing anyone of malice and we’d obviously never sue, but I just wanted to get some feedback because I feel awkward. We’d tabled this over the holidays and DH told me the ultimate replacement cost today.

Sorry OP, I think you're way out of line. If your DH has valuable equipment, it should not be accessible to visitors, especially kid visitors. Never in a million years would I expect guests to pay for something like this.

I am in no way out of line - we all live in smallish apartments, not in DC - I used to live in DC. There is no practical way to make this equipment inaccessible based on the layout of our home. They’ve been over before when the kids were years and years younger. The equipment was under a cover. My friend was in the room, and I was getting stuff to eat for people. No matter what some will tell me, I didn’t do anything wrong here.

You're fine, OP. Taking the cover off a turntable and tampering with it is egregious for a 10 year old. The parents are trying it on with the lowball estimate and the semi-denial.

Agree with this. A 10 year old should know better and the parent in the room should have told them to get away from it before they even got the cover off.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You didn’t do anything wrong but stuff happens with 10 year olds. I’d fix it yourself. If it was worth millions, you wouldn’t expect them to sell their house to fix it. File an insurance claim if it’s that expensive.

Right, but it wasn't worth millions, and nobody is talking about them selling the house. This hyperbole is in no way relevant.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm on the fence. On the one hand, I would be tempted to go with Lesson Learned.
On the other, I think kid shouldn't get away with playing with it, though did he know he shouldn't.

If i could afford it I would either take what is offered or not have said anything.

I did ask. While this is awkward, I’m not unhappy I did that - I was gracious and I care about my husband. I really don’t see how this one is lesson learned, I guess because DH has been pretty clear that the force taken to create the damage done was purposeful, and the kids aren’t super little anymore, and the parent was present.

Did you tell them you expected reimbursement? You must do that otherwise you leave a grey area. If your husband believes it was done maliciously then demand payment. If they refuse, and you’re as rich as you say, sue them.

Yes. We discussed repair and replacement and that’s when she went to her husband who gave her the lower estimate. I’m not accusing anyone of malice and we’d obviously never sue, but I just wanted to get some feedback because I feel awkward. We’d tabled this over the holidays and DH told me the ultimate replacement cost today.

Sorry OP, I think you're way out of line. If your DH has valuable equipment, it should not be accessible to visitors, especially kid visitors. Never in a million years would I expect guests to pay for something like this.

I am in no way out of line - we all live in smallish apartments, not in DC - I used to live in DC. There is no practical way to make this equipment inaccessible based on the layout of our home. They’ve been over before when the kids were years and years younger. The equipment was under a cover. My friend was in the room, and I was getting stuff to eat for people. No matter what some will tell me, I didn’t do anything wrong here.

Yeah, OP. You need to make it really clear to your kids and to their friends that this is a very expensive and fragile piece of equipment and they are NEVER to touch it.

I will going forward but to be clear, they’ve been over often before, the equipment was always where it was, was always covered, we also made clear when they were younger not to touch, and DH said something was ripped apart - something not innately super-duper-don’t-breathe-by-it delicate. I did not think I’d have to give a renewed warning on a random day years later. This thread is so frustrating. We aren’t grasping nor unreasonable.

[Anonymous]

I wouldn’t demand money. When you have guests around there is always the possibility that things get broken. You should just be gracious about it and chalk it up to bad luck.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think you replace the item yourself. Then don't leave the item out for kids to be able to play with. I don't know what the item is, but put a cover on it, close the door to the room, don't have kids over. Something similar happened to us, and the family offered to pay to replace, but we didn't even consider accepting. Stuff happens.

There was a cover on it. That’s great that even taking what was offered was so unthinkable to you.

You asked for our opinions, so I gave you mine. If you just wanted people to agree with you, you should have said that in your original post.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think you replace the item yourself. Then don't leave the item out for kids to be able to play with. I don't know what the item is, but put a cover on it, close the door to the room, don't have kids over. Something similar happened to us, and the family offered to pay to replace, but we didn't even consider accepting. Stuff happens.

There was a cover on it. That’s great that even taking what was offered was so unthinkable to you.

You asked for our opinions, so I gave you mine. If you just wanted people to agree with you, you should have said that in your original post.

I regret not saying that now, rather unthinkable of me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm on the fence. On the one hand, I would be tempted to go with Lesson Learned.
On the other, I think kid shouldn't get away with playing with it, though did he know he shouldn't.

If i could afford it I would either take what is offered or not have said anything.

I did ask. While this is awkward, I’m not unhappy I did that - I was gracious and I care about my husband. I really don’t see how this one is lesson learned, I guess because DH has been pretty clear that the force taken to create the damage done was purposeful, and the kids aren’t super little anymore, and the parent was present.

Did you tell them you expected reimbursement? You must do that otherwise you leave a grey area. If your husband believes it was done maliciously then demand payment. If they refuse, and you’re as rich as you say, sue them.

Yes. We discussed repair and replacement and that’s when she went to her husband who gave her the lower estimate. I’m not accusing anyone of malice and we’d obviously never sue, but I just wanted to get some feedback because I feel awkward. We’d tabled this over the holidays and DH told me the ultimate replacement cost today.

Sorry OP, I think you're way out of line. If your DH has valuable equipment, it should not be accessible to visitors, especially kid visitors. Never in a million years would I expect guests to pay for something like this.

I am in no way out of line - we all live in smallish apartments, not in DC - I used to live in DC. There is no practical way to make this equipment inaccessible based on the layout of our home. They’ve been over before when the kids were years and years younger. The equipment was under a cover. My friend was in the room, and I was getting stuff to eat for people. No matter what some will tell me, I didn’t do anything wrong here.

Yeah, OP. You need to make it really clear to your kids and to their friends that this is a very expensive and fragile piece of equipment and they are NEVER to touch it.

I will going forward but to be clear, they’ve been over often before, the equipment was always where it was, was always covered, we also made clear when they were younger not to touch, and DH said something was ripped apart - something not innately super-duper-don’t-breathe-by-it delicate. I did not think I’d have to give a renewed warning on a random day years later. This thread is so frustrating. We aren’t grasping nor unreasonable.

Okay then. Sounds like there is absolutely nothing else that you or anyone else could possibly do to make sure that this doesn’t happen again.
These people are horrible.
You should sue them for the cost and pass flyers around the neighborhood warning people of the danger of this child.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I wouldn’t demand money. When you have guests around there is always the possibility that things get broken. You should just be gracious about it and chalk it up to bad luck.

It sounds like this was deliberately broken into (or at least, opened up deliberately) and deliberately damaged (not accidentally). That's not like accidentally scuffing a floor or backing into a shelf of knick-knacks.

If a 10 year old got into a dresser drawer and cut up some expensive clothes with a pair of scissors, would you really just chalk it up to bad luck?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm on the fence. On the one hand, I would be tempted to go with Lesson Learned.
On the other, I think kid shouldn't get away with playing with it, though did he know he shouldn't.

If i could afford it I would either take what is offered or not have said anything.

I did ask. While this is awkward, I’m not unhappy I did that - I was gracious and I care about my husband. I really don’t see how this one is lesson learned, I guess because DH has been pretty clear that the force taken to create the damage done was purposeful, and the kids aren’t super little anymore, and the parent was present.

Did you tell them you expected reimbursement? You must do that otherwise you leave a grey area. If your husband believes it was done maliciously then demand payment. If they refuse, and you’re as rich as you say, sue them.

Yes. We discussed repair and replacement and that’s when she went to her husband who gave her the lower estimate. I’m not accusing anyone of malice and we’d obviously never sue, but I just wanted to get some feedback because I feel awkward. We’d tabled this over the holidays and DH told me the ultimate replacement cost today.

Sorry OP, I think you're way out of line. If your DH has valuable equipment, it should not be accessible to visitors, especially kid visitors. Never in a million years would I expect guests to pay for something like this.

I am in no way out of line - we all live in smallish apartments, not in DC - I used to live in DC. There is no practical way to make this equipment inaccessible based on the layout of our home. They’ve been over before when the kids were years and years younger. The equipment was under a cover. My friend was in the room, and I was getting stuff to eat for people. No matter what some will tell me, I didn’t do anything wrong here.

Yeah, OP. You need to make it really clear to your kids and to their friends that this is a very expensive and fragile piece of equipment and they are NEVER to touch it.

I will going forward but to be clear, they’ve been over often before, the equipment was always where it was, was always covered, we also made clear when they were younger not to touch, and DH said something was ripped apart - something not innately super-duper-don’t-breathe-by-it delicate. I did not think I’d have to give a renewed warning on a random day years later. This thread is so frustrating. We aren’t grasping nor unreasonable.

Okay then. Sounds like there is absolutely nothing else that you or anyone else could possibly do to make sure that this doesn’t happen again.
These people are horrible.
You should sue them for the cost and pass flyers around the neighborhood warning people of the danger of this child.

DP. You don't have to act as if there is only overreaction or no reaction. What, does this scenario strike a little to close to home? Where are your children, and what are they doing?