My DS wants to be a musician. WWYD?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:His uncle is in the music industry and is also successful. OP's son already has a leg up on a lot of people. In any industry, especially the entertainment/music circle, connections and who you know mean everything. It doesn't take much to graduate HS these days with good grades. My kid did the bare minimum and graduated from FCPS with a 3.1 GPA and is now at JMU school of music.

Congrats for your kid! Best of luck to them.

[Anonymous]

I don't think there is anything wrong with going into music, but I would discuss practical ways to make money with music, if his dream career of performing doesn't work out.

I also have an uncle who is a musician. In his case he spent his entire life touring and playing and devoting everything to music and the money part just never came (and he even toured with grammy winning artists). Now, he is in his 70s , with no retirement and lives and works in eastern Europe because the US is too expensive. He has no wife and no kids and regrets it. I am not saying everyone will turn into him but his story might be more common than those that make it.

So he is why I say, its important to have a backup plan! But otherwise if your kid loves music I say go for it but also he should finish HS because that is important. Even if he gets famous he needs to make sure that he has the brain power and life skills to not be taken advantage of (because there will be people that try).

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:Get him guitar lessons and start looking into colleges with great schools of music.

He needs to do his homework to get into college.

Why does he have to go to college?

He should graduate high school, but if he really wants to pursue music, he doesn’t need a college degree.

Because he will need intense musical training to get anywhere. The people he'll be competing against will have studied music, with private lessons, since early childhood.

Unless he’s going into jazz or classical, this is completely wrong.

Most successful rock musicians have had little or no formal musical training. Virtually none went to music school.

- Lifelong musician who has played classical and, for the last 20 years, rock in gigging cover and original bands

Which ones? I am thinking Ed Sheeran and Adam Levine and Alicia Keys etc, started early and intensely.

Ed Sheeran dropped out of music school his first year, at age 18 to go on tour and never returned.


Adam Levine has no intense musical training that I can find. He formed his first band when he was 15. They got a record deal. He did less than one semester of college and dropped out.

Alicia Keys is the only person in your list who received intense musical training. She dropped out of Columbia.

Ed Sheeran took piano lessons since he was 4 and performed all his childhood, he even has footage of his young self in one of his music videos. Adam Levine comes from a very musical family and had music lessons all his life, that's how he was able to form a band at 14. Alicia Keys was classically trained. Taylor Swift took voice lessons from a very young age, her mom used to drive her all the way to NY.

There is zero chance a 15 year old with no formal music training can be successful nowadays. Formal does not mean conservatory, but conservatory or a music program will help someone who comes to the game later on in life.

Why are you assuming this kid is new to the guitar at 15? OP never said that. For all we know he’s been playing since 2 with formal lessons etc. you have seized on one little random thing and don’t let it go.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Get him guitar lessons and start looking into colleges with great schools of music.

He needs to do his homework to get into college.

Why does he have to go to college?

He should graduate high school, but if he really wants to pursue music, he doesn’t need a college degree.

Because he will need intense musical training to get anywhere. The people he'll be competing against will have studied music, with private lessons, since early childhood.

Unless he’s going into jazz or classical, this is completely wrong.

Most successful rock musicians have had little or no formal musical training. Virtually none went to music school.

- Lifelong musician who has played classical and, for the last 20 years, rock in gigging cover and original bands

Which ones? I am thinking Ed Sheeran and Adam Levine and Alicia Keys etc, started early and intensely.

Ed Sheeran dropped out of music school his first year, at age 18 to go on tour and never returned.


Adam Levine has no intense musical training that I can find. He formed his first band when he was 15. They got a record deal. He did less than one semester of college and dropped out.

Alicia Keys is the only person in your list who received intense musical training. She dropped out of Columbia.

Ed Sheeran took piano lessons since he was 4 and performed all his childhood, he even has footage of his young self in one of his music videos. Adam Levine comes from a very musical family and had music lessons all his life, that's how he was able to form a band at 14. Alicia Keys was classically trained. Taylor Swift took voice lessons from a very young age, her mom used to drive her all the way to NY.

There is zero chance a 15 year old with no formal music training can be successful nowadays. Formal does not mean conservatory, but conservatory or a music program will help someone who comes to the game later on in life.

Why are you assuming this kid is new to the guitar at 15? OP never said that. For all we know he’s been playing since 2 with formal lessons etc. you have seized on one little random thing and don’t let it go.

OP said he’s been taking music lessons since he was 6.

People just have zero respect for musicians and artists, and will try to cut down anyone who tries to make that path work.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't think there is anything wrong with going into music, but I would discuss practical ways to make money with music, if his dream career of performing doesn't work out.

I also have an uncle who is a musician. In his case he spent his entire life touring and playing and devoting everything to music and the money part just never came (and he even toured with grammy winning artists). Now, he is in his 70s , with no retirement and lives and works in eastern Europe because the US is too expensive. He has no wife and no kids and regrets it. I am not saying everyone will turn into him but his story might be more common than those that make it.

So he is why I say, its important to have a backup plan! But otherwise if your kid loves music I say go for it but also he should finish HS because that is important. Even if he gets famous he needs to make sure that he has the brain power and life skills to not be taken advantage of (because there will be people that try).

There are lots of married folks with kids who also regret it. Picking one random dude and telling someone not to dream because of it is ridiculous.

Op, support your son. Tell him he has to graduate high school and if he does moderately well you will support his career decision. It's his life, not yours!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't think there is anything wrong with going into music, but I would discuss practical ways to make money with music, if his dream career of performing doesn't work out.

I also have an uncle who is a musician. In his case he spent his entire life touring and playing and devoting everything to music and the money part just never came (and he even toured with grammy winning artists). Now, he is in his 70s , with no retirement and lives and works in eastern Europe because the US is too expensive. He has no wife and no kids and regrets it. I am not saying everyone will turn into him but his story might be more common than those that make it.

So he is why I say, its important to have a backup plan! But otherwise if your kid loves music I say go for it but also he should finish HS because that is important. Even if he gets famous he needs to make sure that he has the brain power and life skills to not be taken advantage of (because there will be people that try).

There are lots of married folks with kids who also regret it. Picking one random dude and telling someone not to dream because of it is ridiculous.

Op, support your son. Tell him he has to graduate high school and if he does moderately well you will support his career decision. It's his life, not yours!

Oh yes, sorry I didn't mean to say that it was only because of music. Just that it wasn't ever practical for him to have a family touring all the time and that was hard on him! I think its part of the picture of things to consider. Sorry.

But yes I agree OP should support her son!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Nah. He can write his music and practice the guitar but he needs to do his school work.

Take the guitar and make him do his school work to get it back. Tell him you're fine with him creating music but school comes first.

You are just awful. Do not take this kid’s guitar.

I suggest reading Dave Growl’s book, The Storyteller, and trying to be like his mom. They had an incredible relationship.

Also read Stixrud’s The Self-Driven Child. He blew off school to spend hours on the guitar. I think he’s done pretty okay in life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't think there is anything wrong with going into music, but I would discuss practical ways to make money with music, if his dream career of performing doesn't work out.

I also have an uncle who is a musician. In his case he spent his entire life touring and playing and devoting everything to music and the money part just never came (and he even toured with grammy winning artists). Now, he is in his 70s , with no retirement and lives and works in eastern Europe because the US is too expensive. He has no wife and no kids and regrets it. I am not saying everyone will turn into him but his story might be more common than those that make it.

So he is why I say, its important to have a backup plan! But otherwise if your kid loves music I say go for it but also he should finish HS because that is important. Even if he gets famous he needs to make sure that he has the brain power and life skills to not be taken advantage of (because there will be people that try).

There are lots of married folks with kids who also regret it. Picking one random dude and telling someone not to dream because of it is ridiculous.

Op, support your son. Tell him he has to graduate high school and if he does moderately well you will support his career decision. It's his life, not yours!

Oh yes, sorry I didn't mean to say that it was only because of music. Just that it wasn't ever practical for him to have a family touring all the time and that was hard on him! I think its part of the picture of things to consider. Sorry.

But yes I agree OP should support her son!

You could say the same thing about a consultant. If anything, they travel more than musicians, who tend to travel in chunks and then they’re home for awhile.

This seems to me like it was choice for him. Plenty of consultants have families.

[Anonymous]

There is zero chance a 15 year old with no formal music training can be successful nowadays.

It's slim but it's not zero. Musicians don't make much money from recordings these days (thanks to Spotify), so they have to tour a lot. Have you ever been to a sold out rock show? Do you know about music? Do you see how they play? It's not about music theory...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't think there is anything wrong with going into music, but I would discuss practical ways to make money with music, if his dream career of performing doesn't work out.

I also have an uncle who is a musician. In his case he spent his entire life touring and playing and devoting everything to music and the money part just never came (and he even toured with grammy winning artists). Now, he is in his 70s , with no retirement and lives and works in eastern Europe because the US is too expensive. He has no wife and no kids and regrets it. I am not saying everyone will turn into him but his story might be more common than those that make it.

So he is why I say, its important to have a backup plan! But otherwise if your kid loves music I say go for it but also he should finish HS because that is important. Even if he gets famous he needs to make sure that he has the brain power and life skills to not be taken advantage of (because there will be people that try).

There are lots of married folks with kids who also regret it. Picking one random dude and telling someone not to dream because of it is ridiculous.

Op, support your son. Tell him he has to graduate high school and if he does moderately well you will support his career decision. It's his life, not yours!

Oh yes, sorry I didn't mean to say that it was only because of music. Just that it wasn't ever practical for him to have a family touring all the time and that was hard on him! I think its part of the picture of things to consider. Sorry.

But yes I agree OP should support her son!

You could say the same thing about a consultant. If anything, they travel more than musicians, who tend to travel in chunks and then they’re home for awhile.

This seems to me like it was choice for him. Plenty of consultants have families.

I did apologize. I am sorry again!

[Anonymous]

My sister is a musician....and a contractor. She's not supporting herself with music--that's why she is also a contractor--but she records and tours with her band and, most importantly, has built a happy and fulfilling life for herself.

[Anonymous]

OP's son will be fine even if he doesn't make a penny in music.  How many fifteen years old out there spend six to eight hours everyday practicing their crafts, excluding video games?  You're talking about tremendous dedication and commitment to excellence.  He is already successful in the game of life because he is already in the 0.0001% category.  It is no longer a job when you love what you do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Nah. He can write his music and practice the guitar but he needs to do his school work.

Take the guitar and make him do his school work to get it back. Tell him you're fine with him creating music but school comes first.

You are just awful. Do not take this kid’s guitar.

I suggest reading Dave Growl’s book, The Storyteller, and trying to be like his mom. They had an incredible relationship.

Also read Stixrud’s The Self-Driven Child. He blew off school to spend hours on the guitar. I think he’s done pretty okay in life.

For every Dave Growl there are hundreds of thousands of men who could never pay rent with their music. I would focus on the overwhelmingly more likely scenario and plan for it.

[Anonymous]

Let him be a musician. How many kids are spending hours doing spreadsheets because they are passionate about accounting. Let him enjoy his passion, so many people in the world don’t have one and it shows.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Nah. He can write his music and practice the guitar but he needs to do his school work.

Take the guitar and make him do his school work to get it back. Tell him you're fine with him creating music but school comes first.

You are just awful. Do not take this kid’s guitar.

I suggest reading Dave Growl’s book, The Storyteller, and trying to be like his mom. They had an incredible relationship.

Also read Stixrud’s The Self-Driven Child. He blew off school to spend hours on the guitar. I think he’s done pretty okay in life.

For every Dave Growl there are hundreds of thousands of men who could never pay rent with their music. I would focus on the overwhelmingly more likely scenario and plan for it.

It’s Grohl.

Dave is the first person who would say he’s not the most technically proficient drummer. He has talent for sure, but also a TON of perseverance and a dose of luck (primarily Nirvana needing a new drummer). He also made some good business decisions (primarily releasing his music on his own record company).

Point being that if OP’s son throws himself into this and really commits, chances are he will be able to support himself with something related to music. Becoming famous really isn’t the goal for most musicians. It’s being able to do music full-time. He could be a session musician. He could do soundtracks. He could produce. He could supplement that all by teaching.

There’s a million ways to do it.