Question for older men who date much younger women

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Men are hard wired to want women in their early 20's. It's just biology. I date younger women because I want them and I can get them, don't care if that pisses off the feminists.

Do you have daughters?

I find it hard to believe men who have daughters and thus realize how very young women in their EARLY 20s really are would feel okay with this.

And I am a man. My colleague, who was in his late 40’s, started up an affair with a 20 year old. I could never look at him the same way; it’s completely predatory. But he doesn’t have daughters, and I think that might be why he could wrap his mind around it

I have been told many times when dating younger women that I treat them in a much kinder and less condescending way than the average guy their own age they’ve dated. I have a strong moral code in how I treat everyone and in a dozen years when my daughter is out of college and starting her first job, if she dates, I hope it is someone who is kind and considerate as well.

Yeah I remember when I became older than the women my friend’s single dad had always dated. Guess what, he was super courteous never committed to any of them they always dumped him and he is still alone. With time I’ve come to see him very differently than I did as a teenager and post-adolescent young woman.

PS his daughter is totally messed up, divorced and single with an eating disorder and stunted personality now.

Well, he's divorced, and in my experience daughter's of divorced parents are usually messed up by the mother. She has more time, and more control, over the child and some moms use that time and control to warp their kids. After all, there is a reason the mom is divorced.

There is also a reason the dad is divorced

[Anonymous]

I will be honest and say this has always creeped me out as a woman - from the time I was in college until now as a 46yo divorced woman. I have always been suspicious of older men who showed interest in my or my friends. They are lacking something or they are controlling even if they don't see it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Men are hard wired to want women in their early 20's. It's just biology. I date younger women because I want them and I can get them, don't care if that pisses off the feminists.

Do you have daughters?

I find it hard to believe men who have daughters and thus realize how very young women in their EARLY 20s really are would feel okay with this.

If you have daughters, as I do, you realize that once they reach a certain age, you can no longer control what they do. Either you raised them to make good choices, or you didn't, but at that point it's totally up to them. I would say that point is definitely no later than when they go off to college, and realistically there isn't much you can do to limit their choices when they're juniors and seniors in high school. They are going to have sex with who they want to have sex with, regardless of what you think about it, that's just a fact.

As a thought experiment, let's say a woman in her 20s came into DCUM relationships and said, "my dad insists he should have the power to approve who I have sex with, and I am absolutely not allowed to have sex with a man if he's not okay with it." What do you think the DCUM reaction would be? I think DCUM would howl, "ewww, creepy and controlling, get away from this crazy patriarch as fast as you can!" Would you, as a father, want to have this power if you could (which you can't)?

Lots of people do totally legal things that I don't approve of. But that's freedom. You can't stop adult women from sleeping with "unsuitable" men unless you deprive them of freedom. And that's not gonna happen so you might as well not sit around being mad about it.

Lol, what? You COMPLETELY missed the point. The point was not “24 year olds shouldn’t be allowed to date men in their 40s.” Go back and read.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I will be honest and say this has always creeped me out as a woman - from the time I was in college until now as a 46yo divorced woman. I have always been suspicious of older men who showed interest in my or my friends. They are lacking something or they are controlling even if they don't see it.

Me too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Men are hard wired to want women in their early 20's. It's just biology. I date younger women because I want them and I can get them, don't care if that pisses off the feminists.

Do you have daughters?

I find it hard to believe men who have daughters and thus realize how very young women in their EARLY 20s really are would feel okay with this.

And I am a man. My colleague, who was in his late 40’s, started up an affair with a 20 year old. I could never look at him the same way; it’s completely predatory. But he doesn’t have daughters, and I think that might be why he could wrap his mind around it

I have been told many times when dating younger women that I treat them in a much kinder and less condescending way than the average guy their own age they’ve dated. I have a strong moral code in how I treat everyone and in a dozen years when my daughter is out of college and starting her first job, if she dates, I hope it is someone who is kind and considerate as well.

Yeah I remember when I became older than the women my friend’s single dad had always dated. Guess what, he was super courteous never committed to any of them they always dumped him and he is still alone. With time I’ve come to see him very differently than I did as a teenager and post-adolescent young woman.

PS his daughter is totally messed up, divorced and single with an eating disorder and stunted personality now.

Well, he's divorced, and in my experience daughter's of divorced parents are usually messed up by the mother. She has more time, and more control, over the child and some moms use that time and control to warp their kids. After all, there is a reason the mom is divorced.

And that reason is often so that the dads are free to date 20 year old women 🙄

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Men are hard wired to want women in their early 20's. It's just biology. I date younger women because I want them and I can get them, don't care if that pisses off the feminists.

Do you have daughters?

I find it hard to believe men who have daughters and thus realize how very young women in their EARLY 20s really are would feel okay with this.

And I am a man. My colleague, who was in his late 40’s, started up an affair with a 20 year old. I could never look at him the same way; it’s completely predatory. But he doesn’t have daughters, and I think that might be why he could wrap his mind around it

This. They are mostly not really adults on the inside no matter what the outside look like. They may be intellectually precocious but emotionally are usually very young still.

Perhaps they should not be allowed to vote then.

Or drink, or have jobs, or go out in public without a responsible adult as their protector / duenna.

Actually he is literally talking about people who aren’t old enough to drink or graduate from college. You want your collegesged daughter sleeping with a 45 year old promiscuous slime who gives her an STD?

He is literally talking about "very young women in their EARLY 20s". They may be old enough to drink - but it hardly matters because we all know they ARE drinking anyway.

When my daughter goes to college, I will have ZERO control over who she sleeps with. She will do whatever she wants. There is no point in me even thinking about it.

No one is talking about you needing to control your daughter. People are wondering how middle-aged men feel morally okay “dating” young women in their early 20s, because anyone who has ANY context at all realizes that how emotionally young they are at that stage.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Men are hard wired to want women in their early 20's. It's just biology. I date younger women because I want them and I can get them, don't care if that pisses off the feminists.

Do you have daughters?

I find it hard to believe men who have daughters and thus realize how very young women in their EARLY 20s really are would feel okay with this.

And I am a man. My colleague, who was in his late 40’s, started up an affair with a 20 year old. I could never look at him the same way; it’s completely predatory. But he doesn’t have daughters, and I think that might be why he could wrap his mind around it

This. They are mostly not really adults on the inside no matter what the outside look like. They may be intellectually precocious but emotionally are usually very young still.

So you are saying that my 24 year old gf, who graduated from college when she was 20, who is getting a PhD in a STEM field and who a university trusts to work in a $20 million lab, and do experiments on humans, is not mature enough to date me?

Correct. College, school, degree experience =\= real world experience, 24 is SO YOUNG.

[Anonymous]

A 20 year old woman is the platonic ideal for many men. Whether that man is 1shi8 or 81, it is normal to lust after a 20 year old.

Many dont have a shot at this but a lucky few do. Why is this even remotely objectionable?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A 20 year old woman is the platonic ideal for many men. Whether that man is 1shi8 or 81, it is normal to lust after a 20 year old.

Many dont have a shot at this but a lucky few do. Why is this even remotely objectionable?

What does “the platonic ideal” mean?

[Anonymous]

Platonic ideal means the perfect example.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A 20 year old woman is the platonic ideal for many men. Whether that man is 1shi8 or 81, it is normal to lust after a 20 year old.

Many dont have a shot at this but a lucky few do. Why is this even remotely objectionable?

Well if you have to ask...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Men are hard wired to want women in their early 20's. It's just biology. I date younger women because I want them and I can get them, don't care if that pisses off the feminists.

Do you have daughters?

I find it hard to believe men who have daughters and thus realize how very young women in their EARLY 20s really are would feel okay with this.

And I am a man. My colleague, who was in his late 40’s, started up an affair with a 20 year old. I could never look at him the same way; it’s completely predatory. But he doesn’t have daughters, and I think that might be why he could wrap his mind around it

This. They are mostly not really adults on the inside no matter what the outside look like. They may be intellectually precocious but emotionally are usually very young still.

Perhaps they should not be allowed to vote then.

Or drink, or have jobs, or go out in public without a responsible adult as their protector / duenna.

Actually he is literally talking about people who aren’t old enough to drink or graduate from college. You want your collegesged daughter sleeping with a 45 year old promiscuous slime who gives her an STD?

He is literally talking about "very young women in their EARLY 20s". They may be old enough to drink - but it hardly matters because we all know they ARE drinking anyway.

When my daughter goes to college, I will have ZERO control over who she sleeps with. She will do whatever she wants. There is no point in me even thinking about it.

No one is talking about you needing to control your daughter. People are wondering how middle-aged men feel morally okay “dating” young women in their early 20s, because anyone who has ANY context at all realizes that how emotionally young they are at that stage.

I am morally ok with any adult consensually dating any other adult. If you are not morally ok with that, then you have to argue that adult women need to be controlled in some way, to prevent them from dating objectionable men, which you consider immoral, otherwise your moral position is futile and senseless.

You can't stop women from having sex with whoever they want, so you might as well not be mad about it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Men are hard wired to want women in their early 20's. It's just biology. I date younger women because I want them and I can get them, don't care if that pisses off the feminists.

Do you have daughters?

I find it hard to believe men who have daughters and thus realize how very young women in their EARLY 20s really are would feel okay with this.

If you have daughters, as I do, you realize that once they reach a certain age, you can no longer control what they do. Either you raised them to make good choices, or you didn't, but at that point it's totally up to them. I would say that point is definitely no later than when they go off to college, and realistically there isn't much you can do to limit their choices when they're juniors and seniors in high school. They are going to have sex with who they want to have sex with, regardless of what you think about it, that's just a fact.

As a thought experiment, let's say a woman in her 20s came into DCUM relationships and said, "my dad insists he should have the power to approve who I have sex with, and I am absolutely not allowed to have sex with a man if he's not okay with it." What do you think the DCUM reaction would be? I think DCUM would howl, "ewww, creepy and controlling, get away from this crazy patriarch as fast as you can!" Would you, as a father, want to have this power if you could (which you can't)?

Lots of people do totally legal things that I don't approve of. But that's freedom. You can't stop adult women from sleeping with "unsuitable" men unless you deprive them of freedom. And that's not gonna happen so you might as well not sit around being mad about it.

Lol, what? You COMPLETELY missed the point. The point was not “24 year olds shouldn’t be allowed to date men in their 40s.” Go back and read.

I was responding directly to the guy who asked how fathers would feel about their daughters dating older men, you moron, and my response directly addressed that point. Go back and read.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Men are hard wired to want women in their early 20's. It's just biology. I date younger women because I want them and I can get them, don't care if that pisses off the feminists.

Do you have daughters?

I find it hard to believe men who have daughters and thus realize how very young women in their EARLY 20s really are would feel okay with this.

And I am a man. My colleague, who was in his late 40’s, started up an affair with a 20 year old. I could never look at him the same way; it’s completely predatory. But he doesn’t have daughters, and I think that might be why he could wrap his mind around it

This. They are mostly not really adults on the inside no matter what the outside look like. They may be intellectually precocious but emotionally are usually very young still.

Perhaps they should not be allowed to vote then.

Or drink, or have jobs, or go out in public without a responsible adult as their protector / duenna.

Actually he is literally talking about people who aren’t old enough to drink or graduate from college. You want your collegesged daughter sleeping with a 45 year old promiscuous slime who gives her an STD?

He is literally talking about "very young women in their EARLY 20s". They may be old enough to drink - but it hardly matters because we all know they ARE drinking anyway.

When my daughter goes to college, I will have ZERO control over who she sleeps with. She will do whatever she wants. There is no point in me even thinking about it.

No one is talking about you needing to control your daughter. People are wondering how middle-aged men feel morally okay “dating” young women in their early 20s, because anyone who has ANY context at all realizes that how emotionally young they are at that stage.

I am morally ok with any adult consensually dating any other adult. If you are not morally ok with that, then you have to argue that adult women need to be controlled in some way, to prevent them from dating objectionable men, which you consider immoral, otherwise your moral position is futile and senseless.

You can't stop women from having sex with whoever they want, so you might as well not be mad about it.

DP.. wouldn't you find it weird if your DD was serious about a man who might be older than you, her father. That's just so weird, and gross, tbh. You would have to wonder what happened in her childhood that would make her go after someone *that* old.

[Anonymous]

When I was 24, I had a serious relationship with someone 24 years older than me. We both knew it would not be a lifetime union but we were in love and had four great years together. Very fond memories.