Question for older men who date much younger women

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Men are hard wired to want women in their early 20's. It's just biology. I date younger women because I want them and I can get them, don't care if that pisses off the feminists.

Do you have daughters?

I find it hard to believe men who have daughters and thus realize how very young women in their EARLY 20s really are would feel okay with this.

And I am a man. My colleague, who was in his late 40’s, started up an affair with a 20 year old. I could never look at him the same way; it’s completely predatory. But he doesn’t have daughters, and I think that might be why he could wrap his mind around it

This. They are mostly not really adults on the inside no matter what the outside look like. They may be intellectually precocious but emotionally are usually very young still.

Perhaps they should not be allowed to vote then.

Or drink, or have jobs, or go out in public without a responsible adult as their protector / duenna.

Actually he is literally talking about people who aren’t old enough to drink or graduate from college. You want your collegesged daughter sleeping with a 45 year old promiscuous slime who gives her an STD?

He is literally talking about "very young women in their EARLY 20s". They may be old enough to drink - but it hardly matters because we all know they ARE drinking anyway.

When my daughter goes to college, I will have ZERO control over who she sleeps with. She will do whatever she wants. There is no point in me even thinking about it.

No one is talking about you needing to control your daughter. People are wondering how middle-aged men feel morally okay “dating” young women in their early 20s, because anyone who has ANY context at all realizes that how emotionally young they are at that stage.

I am morally ok with any adult consensually dating any other adult. If you are not morally ok with that, then you have to argue that adult women need to be controlled in some way, to prevent them from dating objectionable men, which you consider immoral, otherwise your moral position is futile and senseless.

You can't stop women from having sex with whoever they want, so you might as well not be mad about it.

DP.. wouldn't you find it weird if your DD was serious about a man who might be older than you, her father. That's just so weird, and gross, tbh. You would have to wonder what happened in her childhood that would make her go after someone *that* old.

My DD isn't old enough to date yet. When she is, I hope she makes good choices. But the point is - and I don't understand why this is so hard for everyone to get - is what I think about it won't matter a bit. She will do whatever she wants.

When I was in grad school in my mid 20s, I knew women in their 20s who dated guys in their 40s. I knew those women well enough to know there wasn't anything that "happened" in their childhoods to make them date much older guys. They just liked those guys at that time. They also dated guys their own age.

It's not even like "dating a much older guy" is the only or the worst mistake a woman in her 20s can make. Why are you so hung up on this?

of course she will date whomever she wants. That wasn't the question.

The question is, as a dad, would you not feel weird if your DD was in a serious relationship with a man who might be older than you or your age? Would you not worry about what would happen to her when he is in his 70s/80s while she is still pretty young? If you say you don't care what she does, then I guess I can understand why stuff like this wouldn't bother you. But, I would definitely think the younger woman has some issue if she is in a serious relationship with such an old man.

I'm not a father but I would not be concerned if my DD was in a serious relationship with a man my age. I would assume that this relationship will come to a natural end as they tend to do, and will view it as part of her life experience education. I wouldn't be worried about what would happen to her when he is in his 70s or 80s because at that point they would have gone their separate ways and she'd probably be married to a more age suitable partner. Perhaps I find my own history reassuring as I've dated multiple older men in my 20s but have married an age-suitable partner in my mid-thirties.

I don't know if I would make that bet.

What if she fell in love and decided to marry him?

What if she fell in love with an unemployed 23-year old pothead and decided to marry him?

Either way, there's nothing you can do about it, and ultimately she will have to live with her choices.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Men are hard wired to want women in their early 20's. It's just biology. I date younger women because I want them and I can get them, don't care if that pisses off the feminists.

Do you have daughters?

I find it hard to believe men who have daughters and thus realize how very young women in their EARLY 20s really are would feel okay with this.

And I am a man. My colleague, who was in his late 40’s, started up an affair with a 20 year old. I could never look at him the same way; it’s completely predatory. But he doesn’t have daughters, and I think that might be why he could wrap his mind around it

This. They are mostly not really adults on the inside no matter what the outside look like. They may be intellectually precocious but emotionally are usually very young still.

Perhaps they should not be allowed to vote then.

Or drink, or have jobs, or go out in public without a responsible adult as their protector / duenna.

Actually he is literally talking about people who aren’t old enough to drink or graduate from college. You want your collegesged daughter sleeping with a 45 year old promiscuous slime who gives her an STD?

He is literally talking about "very young women in their EARLY 20s". They may be old enough to drink - but it hardly matters because we all know they ARE drinking anyway.

When my daughter goes to college, I will have ZERO control over who she sleeps with. She will do whatever she wants. There is no point in me even thinking about it.

No one is talking about you needing to control your daughter. People are wondering how middle-aged men feel morally okay “dating” young women in their early 20s, because anyone who has ANY context at all realizes that how emotionally young they are at that stage.

I am morally ok with any adult consensually dating any other adult. If you are not morally ok with that, then you have to argue that adult women need to be controlled in some way, to prevent them from dating objectionable men, which you consider immoral, otherwise your moral position is futile and senseless.

You can't stop women from having sex with whoever they want, so you might as well not be mad about it.

DP.. wouldn't you find it weird if your DD was serious about a man who might be older than you, her father. That's just so weird, and gross, tbh. You would have to wonder what happened in her childhood that would make her go after someone *that* old.

My DD isn't old enough to date yet. When she is, I hope she makes good choices. But the point is - and I don't understand why this is so hard for everyone to get - is what I think about it won't matter a bit. She will do whatever she wants.

When I was in grad school in my mid 20s, I knew women in their 20s who dated guys in their 40s. I knew those women well enough to know there wasn't anything that "happened" in their childhoods to make them date much older guys. They just liked those guys at that time. They also dated guys their own age.

It's not even like "dating a much older guy" is the only or the worst mistake a woman in her 20s can make. Why are you so hung up on this?

of course she will date whomever she wants. That wasn't the question.

The question is, as a dad, would you not feel weird if your DD was in a serious relationship with a man who might be older than you or your age? Would you not worry about what would happen to her when he is in his 70s/80s while she is still pretty young? If you say you don't care what she does, then I guess I can understand why stuff like this wouldn't bother you. But, I would definitely think the younger woman has some issue if she is in a serious relationship with such an old man.

I'm not a father but I would not be concerned if my DD was in a serious relationship with a man my age. I would assume that this relationship will come to a natural end as they tend to do, and will view it as part of her life experience education. I wouldn't be worried about what would happen to her when he is in his 70s or 80s because at that point they would have gone their separate ways and she'd probably be married to a more age suitable partner. Perhaps I find my own history reassuring as I've dated multiple older men in my 20s but have married an age-suitable partner in my mid-thirties.

I don't know if I would make that bet.

What if she fell in love and decided to marry him?

Anything can happen, of course, but statistically this is unlikely. Besides, it takes two to decide to marry, and in my experience, older men who have already gone through the experience of raising a family do not want to do it again. They simply want a stable romantic partner/companion. Based on multiple examples I've observed, young woman/older man relationships eventually dissolve based on this fundamental incompatibility of life goals, and amicably.

Which brings us full circle to the original point, which is that he is douche, and they are both wasting her time.

There is no such thing as "wasting a woman's time".

She wants a stable romantic partner/companion. So does he. She does not want it to result in marriage. Neither does he. Neither of them is a douche. They are both freely choosing exactly what they want, at that particular point in time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Men are hard wired to want women in their early 20's. It's just biology. I date younger women because I want them and I can get them, don't care if that pisses off the feminists.

Do you have daughters?

I find it hard to believe men who have daughters and thus realize how very young women in their EARLY 20s really are would feel okay with this.

And I am a man. My colleague, who was in his late 40’s, started up an affair with a 20 year old. I could never look at him the same way; it’s completely predatory. But he doesn’t have daughters, and I think that might be why he could wrap his mind around it

This. They are mostly not really adults on the inside no matter what the outside look like. They may be intellectually precocious but emotionally are usually very young still.

Perhaps they should not be allowed to vote then.

Or drink, or have jobs, or go out in public without a responsible adult as their protector / duenna.

Actually he is literally talking about people who aren’t old enough to drink or graduate from college. You want your collegesged daughter sleeping with a 45 year old promiscuous slime who gives her an STD?

He is literally talking about "very young women in their EARLY 20s". They may be old enough to drink - but it hardly matters because we all know they ARE drinking anyway.

When my daughter goes to college, I will have ZERO control over who she sleeps with. She will do whatever she wants. There is no point in me even thinking about it.

No one is talking about you needing to control your daughter. People are wondering how middle-aged men feel morally okay “dating” young women in their early 20s, because anyone who has ANY context at all realizes that how emotionally young they are at that stage.

I am morally ok with any adult consensually dating any other adult. If you are not morally ok with that, then you have to argue that adult women need to be controlled in some way, to prevent them from dating objectionable men, which you consider immoral, otherwise your moral position is futile and senseless.

You can't stop women from having sex with whoever they want, so you might as well not be mad about it.

DP.. wouldn't you find it weird if your DD was serious about a man who might be older than you, her father. That's just so weird, and gross, tbh. You would have to wonder what happened in her childhood that would make her go after someone *that* old.

DP.

I'd rather that than her being serious about a man child or an abuser, which is what a good chunk of women on this board are married to.

Do these couples gross you out as much as women with older men? If it does not, why not?

It's not as gross because I could not imagine having sex with a man who is 20 years older than I am. The thought of it is gross. When I was in my 20s, some 30 something yr old men were attractive, but now that I'm past my 40s, I would find having sex with a 60+ yr old man really gross.

A man/child is terrible, and obviously, I wouldn't want to have children with such men, but I wouldn't want to have children with an old man, either. Neither will be there for our kids long term.

Also, a man/child isn't an abuser. But, being married to an old man will eventually lead to being married to a man/child because when people hit their 80s, they need a lot of help, so you will end up being their caretaker when you are still young.

So, neither is appearling, tbh, and I'd rather have stayed single than be in either type of LTR. Luckily, my DH is not a man/child, but he is six years older.

Many women are nit having sex with men their age anyway. No one calls them gross. So what if a 40 year old does not want to have sex with her 60 year old husband?

Why judge her harsher than a 40 year old who does not want to have sex with her 40 year old husband?

I still don't see why others people' choices are grossing you out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Men are hard wired to want women in their early 20's. It's just biology. I date younger women because I want them and I can get them, don't care if that pisses off the feminists.

Do you have daughters?

I find it hard to believe men who have daughters and thus realize how very young women in their EARLY 20s really are would feel okay with this.

And I am a man. My colleague, who was in his late 40’s, started up an affair with a 20 year old. I could never look at him the same way; it’s completely predatory. But he doesn’t have daughters, and I think that might be why he could wrap his mind around it

This. They are mostly not really adults on the inside no matter what the outside look like. They may be intellectually precocious but emotionally are usually very young still.

Perhaps they should not be allowed to vote then.

Or drink, or have jobs, or go out in public without a responsible adult as their protector / duenna.

Actually he is literally talking about people who aren’t old enough to drink or graduate from college. You want your collegesged daughter sleeping with a 45 year old promiscuous slime who gives her an STD?

He is literally talking about "very young women in their EARLY 20s". They may be old enough to drink - but it hardly matters because we all know they ARE drinking anyway.

When my daughter goes to college, I will have ZERO control over who she sleeps with. She will do whatever she wants. There is no point in me even thinking about it.

No one is talking about you needing to control your daughter. People are wondering how middle-aged men feel morally okay “dating” young women in their early 20s, because anyone who has ANY context at all realizes that how emotionally young they are at that stage.

I am morally ok with any adult consensually dating any other adult. If you are not morally ok with that, then you have to argue that adult women need to be controlled in some way, to prevent them from dating objectionable men, which you consider immoral, otherwise your moral position is futile and senseless.

You can't stop women from having sex with whoever they want, so you might as well not be mad about it.

DP.. wouldn't you find it weird if your DD was serious about a man who might be older than you, her father. That's just so weird, and gross, tbh. You would have to wonder what happened in her childhood that would make her go after someone *that* old.

My DD isn't old enough to date yet. When she is, I hope she makes good choices. But the point is - and I don't understand why this is so hard for everyone to get - is what I think about it won't matter a bit. She will do whatever she wants.

When I was in grad school in my mid 20s, I knew women in their 20s who dated guys in their 40s. I knew those women well enough to know there wasn't anything that "happened" in their childhoods to make them date much older guys. They just liked those guys at that time. They also dated guys their own age.

It's not even like "dating a much older guy" is the only or the worst mistake a woman in her 20s can make. Why are you so hung up on this?

of course she will date whomever she wants. That wasn't the question.

The question is, as a dad, would you not feel weird if your DD was in a serious relationship with a man who might be older than you or your age? Would you not worry about what would happen to her when he is in his 70s/80s while she is still pretty young? If you say you don't care what she does, then I guess I can understand why stuff like this wouldn't bother you. But, I would definitely think the younger woman has some issue if she is in a serious relationship with such an old man.

I'm not a father but I would not be concerned if my DD was in a serious relationship with a man my age. I would assume that this relationship will come to a natural end as they tend to do, and will view it as part of her life experience education. I wouldn't be worried about what would happen to her when he is in his 70s or 80s because at that point they would have gone their separate ways and she'd probably be married to a more age suitable partner. Perhaps I find my own history reassuring as I've dated multiple older men in my 20s but have married an age-suitable partner in my mid-thirties.

1. you are not a father so you really don't know how that would feel, but even as a mother, I can tell you would not want your DD to get married to a much older man based on your post.
2. if you think the relationship will come to a natural end, then it's not good for either parties, because the woman will have wasted her youth on an old man who won't be around when she's in her 50s, and she will find it much harder to find another partner 2. the old man won't have a partner to grow old with if she dumps him as soon as he hits a certain age, at a time when he needs the partner the most.

I'm not talking about a fling, but a serious long term relationship.

1. I admit freely I wouldn't want my DD married to a much older man. However, I think that marriage is rarely an outcome of relationships with a large age disparity so this isn't really a big concern.

2. I think your #2 is a bit hypocritical. Whenever DCUM has a discussion about "women should marry in their mid-twenties", there is typically a high-passion argument that mid-twenties is a bad time to get married, that this is the time to have fun, explore different relationships and the world, get to know themselves etc. Rarely is there an argument that all of this self-exploration is a "waste of time", in that it doesn't present a beeline to fully suitable matrimony. Yet here multiple posters, including myself, have suggested that while May-December relationships may well be a passing phase that isn't marriage-bound, only to be told that this is "wasting a woman's time". So you think it's OK to waste one's twenties on some things but not others? Why can't a relationship with a older man be a part of having fun and exploring the world in your twenties?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Men are hard wired to want women in their early 20's. It's just biology. I date younger women because I want them and I can get them, don't care if that pisses off the feminists.

Do you have daughters?

I find it hard to believe men who have daughters and thus realize how very young women in their EARLY 20s really are would feel okay with this.

And I am a man. My colleague, who was in his late 40’s, started up an affair with a 20 year old. I could never look at him the same way; it’s completely predatory. But he doesn’t have daughters, and I think that might be why he could wrap his mind around it

This. They are mostly not really adults on the inside no matter what the outside look like. They may be intellectually precocious but emotionally are usually very young still.

Perhaps they should not be allowed to vote then.

Or drink, or have jobs, or go out in public without a responsible adult as their protector / duenna.

Actually he is literally talking about people who aren’t old enough to drink or graduate from college. You want your collegesged daughter sleeping with a 45 year old promiscuous slime who gives her an STD?

He is literally talking about "very young women in their EARLY 20s". They may be old enough to drink - but it hardly matters because we all know they ARE drinking anyway.

When my daughter goes to college, I will have ZERO control over who she sleeps with. She will do whatever she wants. There is no point in me even thinking about it.

No one is talking about you needing to control your daughter. People are wondering how middle-aged men feel morally okay “dating” young women in their early 20s, because anyone who has ANY context at all realizes that how emotionally young they are at that stage.

I am morally ok with any adult consensually dating any other adult. If you are not morally ok with that, then you have to argue that adult women need to be controlled in some way, to prevent them from dating objectionable men, which you consider immoral, otherwise your moral position is futile and senseless.

You can't stop women from having sex with whoever they want, so you might as well not be mad about it.

DP.. wouldn't you find it weird if your DD was serious about a man who might be older than you, her father. That's just so weird, and gross, tbh. You would have to wonder what happened in her childhood that would make her go after someone *that* old.

My DD isn't old enough to date yet. When she is, I hope she makes good choices. But the point is - and I don't understand why this is so hard for everyone to get - is what I think about it won't matter a bit. She will do whatever she wants.

When I was in grad school in my mid 20s, I knew women in their 20s who dated guys in their 40s. I knew those women well enough to know there wasn't anything that "happened" in their childhoods to make them date much older guys. They just liked those guys at that time. They also dated guys their own age.

It's not even like "dating a much older guy" is the only or the worst mistake a woman in her 20s can make. Why are you so hung up on this?

of course she will date whomever she wants. That wasn't the question.

The question is, as a dad, would you not feel weird if your DD was in a serious relationship with a man who might be older than you or your age? Would you not worry about what would happen to her when he is in his 70s/80s while she is still pretty young? If you say you don't care what she does, then I guess I can understand why stuff like this wouldn't bother you. But, I would definitely think the younger woman has some issue if she is in a serious relationship with such an old man.

I'm not a father but I would not be concerned if my DD was in a serious relationship with a man my age. I would assume that this relationship will come to a natural end as they tend to do, and will view it as part of her life experience education. I wouldn't be worried about what would happen to her when he is in his 70s or 80s because at that point they would have gone their separate ways and she'd probably be married to a more age suitable partner. Perhaps I find my own history reassuring as I've dated multiple older men in my 20s but have married an age-suitable partner in my mid-thirties.

I don't know if I would make that bet.

What if she fell in love and decided to marry him?

Anything can happen, of course, but statistically this is unlikely. Besides, it takes two to decide to marry, and in my experience, older men who have already gone through the experience of raising a family do not want to do it again. They simply want a stable romantic partner/companion. Based on multiple examples I've observed, young woman/older man relationships eventually dissolve based on this fundamental incompatibility of life goals, and amicably.

Which brings us full circle to the original point, which is that he is douche, and they are both wasting her time.

So you think that every relationship not bound for the altar is a waste of time?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
It's not as gross because I could not imagine having sex with a man who is 20 years older than I am. The thought of it is gross. When I was in my 20s, some 30 something yr old men were attractive, but now that I'm past my 40s, I would find having sex with a 60+ yr old man really gross.

Would you sleep with George Clooney (61), Tom Cruise (60) or Brad Pitt (59)?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
It's not as gross because I could not imagine having sex with a man who is 20 years older than I am. The thought of it is gross. When I was in my 20s, some 30 something yr old men were attractive, but now that I'm past my 40s, I would find having sex with a 60+ yr old man really gross.

Would you sleep with George Clooney (61), Tom Cruise (60) or Brad Pitt (59)?

DP.

Don't.

The average 60 year old looks nothing like that. 😆

And I would not sleep with Brad Pitt or Tom Cruise. Their character flaws are too big. Looks and money cannot overcome some things.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Men are hard wired to want women in their early 20's. It's just biology. I date younger women because I want them and I can get them, don't care if that pisses off the feminists.

Do you have daughters?

I find it hard to believe men who have daughters and thus realize how very young women in their EARLY 20s really are would feel okay with this.

And I am a man. My colleague, who was in his late 40’s, started up an affair with a 20 year old. I could never look at him the same way; it’s completely predatory. But he doesn’t have daughters, and I think that might be why he could wrap his mind around it

This. They are mostly not really adults on the inside no matter what the outside look like. They may be intellectually precocious but emotionally are usually very young still.

Perhaps they should not be allowed to vote then.

Or drink, or have jobs, or go out in public without a responsible adult as their protector / duenna.

Actually he is literally talking about people who aren’t old enough to drink or graduate from college. You want your collegesged daughter sleeping with a 45 year old promiscuous slime who gives her an STD?

He is literally talking about "very young women in their EARLY 20s". They may be old enough to drink - but it hardly matters because we all know they ARE drinking anyway.

When my daughter goes to college, I will have ZERO control over who she sleeps with. She will do whatever she wants. There is no point in me even thinking about it.

No one is talking about you needing to control your daughter. People are wondering how middle-aged men feel morally okay “dating” young women in their early 20s, because anyone who has ANY context at all realizes that how emotionally young they are at that stage.

I am morally ok with any adult consensually dating any other adult. If you are not morally ok with that, then you have to argue that adult women need to be controlled in some way, to prevent them from dating objectionable men, which you consider immoral, otherwise your moral position is futile and senseless.

You can't stop women from having sex with whoever they want, so you might as well not be mad about it.

DP.. wouldn't you find it weird if your DD was serious about a man who might be older than you, her father. That's just so weird, and gross, tbh. You would have to wonder what happened in her childhood that would make her go after someone *that* old.

My DD isn't old enough to date yet. When she is, I hope she makes good choices. But the point is - and I don't understand why this is so hard for everyone to get - is what I think about it won't matter a bit. She will do whatever she wants.

When I was in grad school in my mid 20s, I knew women in their 20s who dated guys in their 40s. I knew those women well enough to know there wasn't anything that "happened" in their childhoods to make them date much older guys. They just liked those guys at that time. They also dated guys their own age.

It's not even like "dating a much older guy" is the only or the worst mistake a woman in her 20s can make. Why are you so hung up on this?

of course she will date whomever she wants. That wasn't the question.

The question is, as a dad, would you not feel weird if your DD was in a serious relationship with a man who might be older than you or your age? Would you not worry about what would happen to her when he is in his 70s/80s while she is still pretty young? If you say you don't care what she does, then I guess I can understand why stuff like this wouldn't bother you. But, I would definitely think the younger woman has some issue if she is in a serious relationship with such an old man.

I'm not a father but I would not be concerned if my DD was in a serious relationship with a man my age. I would assume that this relationship will come to a natural end as they tend to do, and will view it as part of her life experience education. I wouldn't be worried about what would happen to her when he is in his 70s or 80s because at that point they would have gone their separate ways and she'd probably be married to a more age suitable partner. Perhaps I find my own history reassuring as I've dated multiple older men in my 20s but have married an age-suitable partner in my mid-thirties.

I don't know if I would make that bet.

What if she fell in love and decided to marry him?

Anything can happen, of course, but statistically this is unlikely. Besides, it takes two to decide to marry, and in my experience, older men who have already gone through the experience of raising a family do not want to do it again. They simply want a stable romantic partner/companion. Based on multiple examples I've observed, young woman/older man relationships eventually dissolve based on this fundamental incompatibility of life goals, and amicably.

Which brings us full circle to the original point, which is that he is douche, and they are both wasting her time.

So you think that every relationship not bound for the altar is a waste of time?

When you are a woman in your early 20s? Absolutely.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Men are hard wired to want women in their early 20's. It's just biology. I date younger women because I want them and I can get them, don't care if that pisses off the feminists.

Do you have daughters?

I find it hard to believe men who have daughters and thus realize how very young women in their EARLY 20s really are would feel okay with this.

And I am a man. My colleague, who was in his late 40’s, started up an affair with a 20 year old. I could never look at him the same way; it’s completely predatory. But he doesn’t have daughters, and I think that might be why he could wrap his mind around it

This. They are mostly not really adults on the inside no matter what the outside look like. They may be intellectually precocious but emotionally are usually very young still.

Perhaps they should not be allowed to vote then.

Or drink, or have jobs, or go out in public without a responsible adult as their protector / duenna.

Actually he is literally talking about people who aren’t old enough to drink or graduate from college. You want your collegesged daughter sleeping with a 45 year old promiscuous slime who gives her an STD?

He is literally talking about "very young women in their EARLY 20s". They may be old enough to drink - but it hardly matters because we all know they ARE drinking anyway.

When my daughter goes to college, I will have ZERO control over who she sleeps with. She will do whatever she wants. There is no point in me even thinking about it.

No one is talking about you needing to control your daughter. People are wondering how middle-aged men feel morally okay “dating” young women in their early 20s, because anyone who has ANY context at all realizes that how emotionally young they are at that stage.

I am morally ok with any adult consensually dating any other adult. If you are not morally ok with that, then you have to argue that adult women need to be controlled in some way, to prevent them from dating objectionable men, which you consider immoral, otherwise your moral position is futile and senseless.

You can't stop women from having sex with whoever they want, so you might as well not be mad about it.

DP.. wouldn't you find it weird if your DD was serious about a man who might be older than you, her father. That's just so weird, and gross, tbh. You would have to wonder what happened in her childhood that would make her go after someone *that* old.

My DD isn't old enough to date yet. When she is, I hope she makes good choices. But the point is - and I don't understand why this is so hard for everyone to get - is what I think about it won't matter a bit. She will do whatever she wants.

When I was in grad school in my mid 20s, I knew women in their 20s who dated guys in their 40s. I knew those women well enough to know there wasn't anything that "happened" in their childhoods to make them date much older guys. They just liked those guys at that time. They also dated guys their own age.

It's not even like "dating a much older guy" is the only or the worst mistake a woman in her 20s can make. Why are you so hung up on this?

of course she will date whomever she wants. That wasn't the question.

The question is, as a dad, would you not feel weird if your DD was in a serious relationship with a man who might be older than you or your age? Would you not worry about what would happen to her when he is in his 70s/80s while she is still pretty young? If you say you don't care what she does, then I guess I can understand why stuff like this wouldn't bother you. But, I would definitely think the younger woman has some issue if she is in a serious relationship with such an old man.

I'm not a father but I would not be concerned if my DD was in a serious relationship with a man my age. I would assume that this relationship will come to a natural end as they tend to do, and will view it as part of her life experience education. I wouldn't be worried about what would happen to her when he is in his 70s or 80s because at that point they would have gone their separate ways and she'd probably be married to a more age suitable partner. Perhaps I find my own history reassuring as I've dated multiple older men in my 20s but have married an age-suitable partner in my mid-thirties.

I don't know if I would make that bet.

What if she fell in love and decided to marry him?

Anything can happen, of course, but statistically this is unlikely. Besides, it takes two to decide to marry, and in my experience, older men who have already gone through the experience of raising a family do not want to do it again. They simply want a stable romantic partner/companion. Based on multiple examples I've observed, young woman/older man relationships eventually dissolve based on this fundamental incompatibility of life goals, and amicably.

Which brings us full circle to the original point, which is that he is douche, and they are both wasting her time.

So you think that every relationship not bound for the altar is a waste of time?

When you are a woman in your early 20s? Absolutely.

You are completely out of touch with that generation. The women that I date are very upfront that they don’t want to think about marriage for at least five years and that anything we have going on is casual only. I’ve even discussed our imagined futures with other partners. They’re mostly waiting for men their age to catch up, which will happen at some point.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What is so strange about this thread is that the old women complaining about me dating young women are the cause of my relationship with my gf. Those old women raised the loser 20s sons who can't get into a relationship with 20s women.

Here is what my gf has said about young men her age: they are all on drugs, they have poor manners, they all lack ambition and are lazy, they are all anti-intellectual, they are all mommy's boys, they are all polyamorous, and they all state they are not looking for a serious relationship or any relationship beyond hooking up. For my gf any single one of those is a deal breaker.

So thank you DC Urban Moms, for being such terrible mothers that I am able to date young women. If you weren't so awful, I'd be dating you.

It sounds like, for whatever reason, she is unable to attract quality men her own age who may have a lot of options. Surely you are not implying that all young men fit one of the bolded criteria. So, she can attract a higher quality man who has a ding (older) but to her, it is worth the tradeoff.

So she fits right in with all the women complaining about their lazy husband's on DH.

Many seem unable to attract quality men so they settled for lazy aholes.

She settled for someone older. What's the problem here?

I’m the PP you’re responding to and I don’t have a problem with whoever anyone wants to date as long as it’s legal.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Men are hard wired to want women in their early 20's. It's just biology. I date younger women because I want them and I can get them, don't care if that pisses off the feminists.

Do you have daughters?

I find it hard to believe men who have daughters and thus realize how very young women in their EARLY 20s really are would feel okay with this.

And I am a man. My colleague, who was in his late 40’s, started up an affair with a 20 year old. I could never look at him the same way; it’s completely predatory. But he doesn’t have daughters, and I think that might be why he could wrap his mind around it

This. They are mostly not really adults on the inside no matter what the outside look like. They may be intellectually precocious but emotionally are usually very young still.

Perhaps they should not be allowed to vote then.

Or drink, or have jobs, or go out in public without a responsible adult as their protector / duenna.

Actually he is literally talking about people who aren’t old enough to drink or graduate from college. You want your collegesged daughter sleeping with a 45 year old promiscuous slime who gives her an STD?

He is literally talking about "very young women in their EARLY 20s". They may be old enough to drink - but it hardly matters because we all know they ARE drinking anyway.

When my daughter goes to college, I will have ZERO control over who she sleeps with. She will do whatever she wants. There is no point in me even thinking about it.

No one is talking about you needing to control your daughter. People are wondering how middle-aged men feel morally okay “dating” young women in their early 20s, because anyone who has ANY context at all realizes that how emotionally young they are at that stage.

I am morally ok with any adult consensually dating any other adult. If you are not morally ok with that, then you have to argue that adult women need to be controlled in some way, to prevent them from dating objectionable men, which you consider immoral, otherwise your moral position is futile and senseless.

You can't stop women from having sex with whoever they want, so you might as well not be mad about it.

DP.. wouldn't you find it weird if your DD was serious about a man who might be older than you, her father. That's just so weird, and gross, tbh. You would have to wonder what happened in her childhood that would make her go after someone *that* old.

My DD isn't old enough to date yet. When she is, I hope she makes good choices. But the point is - and I don't understand why this is so hard for everyone to get - is what I think about it won't matter a bit. She will do whatever she wants.

When I was in grad school in my mid 20s, I knew women in their 20s who dated guys in their 40s. I knew those women well enough to know there wasn't anything that "happened" in their childhoods to make them date much older guys. They just liked those guys at that time. They also dated guys their own age.

It's not even like "dating a much older guy" is the only or the worst mistake a woman in her 20s can make. Why are you so hung up on this?

of course she will date whomever she wants. That wasn't the question.

The question is, as a dad, would you not feel weird if your DD was in a serious relationship with a man who might be older than you or your age? Would you not worry about what would happen to her when he is in his 70s/80s while she is still pretty young? If you say you don't care what she does, then I guess I can understand why stuff like this wouldn't bother you. But, I would definitely think the younger woman has some issue if she is in a serious relationship with such an old man.

I'm not a father but I would not be concerned if my DD was in a serious relationship with a man my age. I would assume that this relationship will come to a natural end as they tend to do, and will view it as part of her life experience education. I wouldn't be worried about what would happen to her when he is in his 70s or 80s because at that point they would have gone their separate ways and she'd probably be married to a more age suitable partner. Perhaps I find my own history reassuring as I've dated multiple older men in my 20s but have married an age-suitable partner in my mid-thirties.

I don't know if I would make that bet.

What if she fell in love and decided to marry him?

Anything can happen, of course, but statistically this is unlikely. Besides, it takes two to decide to marry, and in my experience, older men who have already gone through the experience of raising a family do not want to do it again. They simply want a stable romantic partner/companion. Based on multiple examples I've observed, young woman/older man relationships eventually dissolve based on this fundamental incompatibility of life goals, and amicably.

Which brings us full circle to the original point, which is that he is douche, and they are both wasting her time.

So you think that every relationship not bound for the altar is a waste of time?

When you are a woman in your early 20s? Absolutely.

You are completely out of touch with that generation. The women that I date are very upfront that they don’t want to think about marriage for at least five years and that anything we have going on is casual only. I’ve even discussed our imagined futures with other partners. They’re mostly waiting for men their age to catch up, which will happen at some point.

Or they won't and they will be the douchebags dating women in their 20s when they are 50.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Men are hard wired to want women in their early 20's. It's just biology. I date younger women because I want them and I can get them, don't care if that pisses off the feminists.

Do you have daughters?

I find it hard to believe men who have daughters and thus realize how very young women in their EARLY 20s really are would feel okay with this.

And I am a man. My colleague, who was in his late 40’s, started up an affair with a 20 year old. I could never look at him the same way; it’s completely predatory. But he doesn’t have daughters, and I think that might be why he could wrap his mind around it

This. They are mostly not really adults on the inside no matter what the outside look like. They may be intellectually precocious but emotionally are usually very young still.

Perhaps they should not be allowed to vote then.

Or drink, or have jobs, or go out in public without a responsible adult as their protector / duenna.

Actually he is literally talking about people who aren’t old enough to drink or graduate from college. You want your collegesged daughter sleeping with a 45 year old promiscuous slime who gives her an STD?

He is literally talking about "very young women in their EARLY 20s". They may be old enough to drink - but it hardly matters because we all know they ARE drinking anyway.

When my daughter goes to college, I will have ZERO control over who she sleeps with. She will do whatever she wants. There is no point in me even thinking about it.

No one is talking about you needing to control your daughter. People are wondering how middle-aged men feel morally okay “dating” young women in their early 20s, because anyone who has ANY context at all realizes that how emotionally young they are at that stage.

I am morally ok with any adult consensually dating any other adult. If you are not morally ok with that, then you have to argue that adult women need to be controlled in some way, to prevent them from dating objectionable men, which you consider immoral, otherwise your moral position is futile and senseless.

You can't stop women from having sex with whoever they want, so you might as well not be mad about it.

DP.. wouldn't you find it weird if your DD was serious about a man who might be older than you, her father. That's just so weird, and gross, tbh. You would have to wonder what happened in her childhood that would make her go after someone *that* old.

My DD isn't old enough to date yet. When she is, I hope she makes good choices. But the point is - and I don't understand why this is so hard for everyone to get - is what I think about it won't matter a bit. She will do whatever she wants.

When I was in grad school in my mid 20s, I knew women in their 20s who dated guys in their 40s. I knew those women well enough to know there wasn't anything that "happened" in their childhoods to make them date much older guys. They just liked those guys at that time. They also dated guys their own age.

It's not even like "dating a much older guy" is the only or the worst mistake a woman in her 20s can make. Why are you so hung up on this?

of course she will date whomever she wants. That wasn't the question.

The question is, as a dad, would you not feel weird if your DD was in a serious relationship with a man who might be older than you or your age? Would you not worry about what would happen to her when he is in his 70s/80s while she is still pretty young? If you say you don't care what she does, then I guess I can understand why stuff like this wouldn't bother you. But, I would definitely think the younger woman has some issue if she is in a serious relationship with such an old man.

I'm not a father but I would not be concerned if my DD was in a serious relationship with a man my age. I would assume that this relationship will come to a natural end as they tend to do, and will view it as part of her life experience education. I wouldn't be worried about what would happen to her when he is in his 70s or 80s because at that point they would have gone their separate ways and she'd probably be married to a more age suitable partner. Perhaps I find my own history reassuring as I've dated multiple older men in my 20s but have married an age-suitable partner in my mid-thirties.

I don't know if I would make that bet.

What if she fell in love and decided to marry him?

Anything can happen, of course, but statistically this is unlikely. Besides, it takes two to decide to marry, and in my experience, older men who have already gone through the experience of raising a family do not want to do it again. They simply want a stable romantic partner/companion. Based on multiple examples I've observed, young woman/older man relationships eventually dissolve based on this fundamental incompatibility of life goals, and amicably.

Which brings us full circle to the original point, which is that he is douche, and they are both wasting her time.

So you think that every relationship not bound for the altar is a waste of time?

When you are a woman in your early 20s? Absolutely.

You are completely out of touch with that generation. The women that I date are very upfront that they don’t want to think about marriage for at least five years and that anything we have going on is casual only. I’ve even discussed our imagined futures with other partners. They’re mostly waiting for men their age to catch up, which will happen at some point.

Or they won't and they will be the douchebags dating women in their 20s when they are 50.

I dated late 20s-early 30s men in my 20s. Eventually I married a 36 yo man who was very established in his career and successful (11 years older than me). Plenty of fish for beautiful girls in their 20s who want to marry among 7-12 years older men. I would think the girls dating 50 years old are not that smart or attractive

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
It's not as gross because I could not imagine having sex with a man who is 20 years older than I am. The thought of it is gross. When I was in my 20s, some 30 something yr old men were attractive, but now that I'm past my 40s, I would find having sex with a 60+ yr old man really gross.

Would you sleep with George Clooney (61), Tom Cruise (60) or Brad Pitt (59)?

DP.

Don't.

The average 60 year old looks nothing like that. 😆

And I would not sleep with Brad Pitt or Tom Cruise. Their character flaws are too big. Looks and money cannot overcome some things.

Yes, but thinking to the couples I know with a 20 year age difference, they got married when she was mid-20s to early 30s, so he was mid 40's to early 50s. The men like that, at least that I know, are well put together. A full head of non-grey hair, regular exercise, great hobbies and career too.

Yes, I think the average middle-aged man will not have much luck finding a woman 20 years younger, but as these relationships are the exception not the norm anyway, the men tend to be "exceptional" compared to their peers also.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Losers gonna lose.

Exactly but the men posting here defending this think they are winners. There is no self-awareness. But that is why they do what they do.

No one that I’ve been involved with ever expects these flings to last. It’s fun times and sex.

I fully expect to remarry someone closer to my own age in 5-10 years. Until then…

I’m not sure you comprehend how repulsive you will be having lived this life for 5–10 years until age 55. Ew.

m

Lol. Not even close. I’ve personally experienced too many times that dating attractive women leads to more coming out of the woodwork wanting a relationship. [/quot


I worried about the "how repulsive you will be" scenario but the "dating attractive women leads to more coming out of the woodwork" is what actually happened in my case.

[Anonymous]

Since the racists can no longer be racist or homophobic and still lord their moral superiority over everyone, they’ve now decided to go with ageism. Got it. As long as they get to look down their nose and tell people who to date, I guess thats all that matters.