Would you move your 15-year-old across the country for a new dream job?

[Anonymous]

I'm moving to Europe with my rising 10th grader. We'll be there for their last three years of high school. We're all looking forward to it, even though of course we will miss home and friends. It's an amazing opportunity!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Do the move. Ignore the one parent repeatedly saying “horrible advice”

Happy mom means happy family

So selfish. My family already is happy because I’m not selfish.

[Anonymous]

A 15 year old doesn't decide where the family lives. If the job is right for you then do it! Acknowledge your DC's feelings about the move but don't give them the impression that they are making the decision.

[Anonymous]

Is there any kind of room for (expensive) compromise? Can the 10th grader stay with his dad while he is finishing up high school? Do you have close friends or family he could love with during the school year? I’ve always been averse to school changes. You know your kid and how resilient he’ll be with this type of change. There will be an impact. With support, he should be ok, but it would be great to find a creative solution.

My cousin’s family lost significant income the summer after his 9th grade year and he had to switch from private school to my public high school. So, I watched this very charismatic teen switch from his preppy successful friends to the kids who would accept his friendship at my public school. He skipped school with them, grew his hair out (ah 90’s grunge days), wore muscle shirts… he adapted to fit this available friend group… then he got a scholarship to college (thank goodness- because his family’s finances never stabilized) and was able to keep moving on his own trajectory. He’s fine and he actually may have been fine during that whole transition, but it was definitely a life stressor that we were witness to. He’s actually estranged from his parents now - but they are a little crazy - which is what led to the financial problems.

[Anonymous]

Nope. Jobs are just jobs. They exist to finance everything else in life. Letting your kid have stability in this critical time is the dream, not the job. I also would worry about high school transcript glitches for college. (Having to retake a requirement of just failing to present the strongest transcript.)

[Anonymous]

We are preparing for a move with a teen the same age. Teen is thrilled with the idea of relocating. I wouldn’t have done it without the teen’s backing, but in our case, teen prefers the move to our current location.

[Anonymous]

TAKE THE JOB

You do not give up the chance of a lifetime for 3 more school years. Stupid question

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A 15 year old doesn't decide where the family lives. If the job is right for you then do it! Acknowledge your DC's feelings about the move but don't give them the impression that they are making the decision.

A responsible parent makes decisions that do not harm their child. Maybe that is staying or maybe it is moving, but when you decide to have kids, you need to own up to the fact that sometimes your desires come second in life.

[Anonymous]

I can’t believe how many of you would jerk your child away from their friends with only 3 years to graduation. But I guess this explains a lot about the type of parents in this area.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I can’t believe how many of you would jerk your child away from their friends with only 3 years to graduation. But I guess this explains a lot about the type of parents in this area.

I can’t believe how many parents give up the job of a lifetime for 3 years of school for a child who will more than likely live the change. We moved and both my kids thrived. And with social media face time etc… it’s all good.

[Anonymous]

My family moved a lot. I attended 3 high schools: Virginia in 9th grade, California in 10th and 11th, and my senior year in Japan. I was extremely shy and did not have any confidence. It was rough. That being said, I loved California and Japan and although I didn’t want to move, I ended up loving both places. Does your son play any sports? Or do anything that could quickly get him involved in his new community? I would research the schools thoroughly and make sure you are putting him in a good setting (and I don’t just mean looking at the Great Schools ratings which are BS). Just make sure if you decide to do this that you truly support him and make sure he makes friends. I can’t explain how lonely it can be moving (moving in 8th grade to VA from a place I loved was soul crushing). I think your teen could be happy but it has to be done with compassion and you have to help him adjust.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:my parents did this to me when I was 16, so I moved the summer before Junior year. I did OK, but the adjustment was really intense.

I went from a working class upstate NY small town to an UMC giant public school in a big southern city. That city had a ton of transplants, so that helped -- I wasn't anywhere close to the only new person. The level of schoolwork was much more rigorous (though my upstate NY school actually sent more kids to Ivies), so that was a wake-up call.

I had some casual friendships at that school but never really grew to love any of those kids, but we did move to a state with a good university system and I went to the state flagship (UNC) and actually loved it made some of my closest life friends there. So that part, perhaps, worked out.

I have to say, I wonder all the time what my life would have been like if we had stayed in NY. before the move, I was a straight A honors student, all-state violinist, ran track and field. After the move I was so depressed, none of those things remained true. I'm glad to have gotten out of that small town, but the move was really destabilizing and just sad. I ended up doing OK, but I wonder all the time what life would have been like if we had stayed there.

Were u on the Ivy track at your old school?

Like at 16 were you on track to other former 16 year old who ended up going Ivy?

Definitely possible. In addition to staight A etc, I was a national merit scholar finalist. My brother did go to an Ivy. So, If i had been an NMFS and also kept up my grades and my all-state violining, who knows?

Damn that’s ruff

I’d feel like “what if” as well

[Anonymous]

No because it happened to me and it was very hard.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I can’t believe how many of you would jerk your child away from their friends with only 3 years to graduation. But I guess this explains a lot about the type of parents in this area.

I can’t believe how many parents give up the job of a lifetime for 3 years of school for a child who will more than likely live the change. We moved and both my kids thrived. And with social media face time etc… it’s all good.

Its just a job.

[Anonymous]

I'd absolutely do it, OP. What does your gut tell you?