Would you move your 15-year-old across the country for a new dream job?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Do all of your teens stay with the same group of friends 9 to 12th grade? Some of the posters in this thread make it seem like moving would tear the teen apart from their forever friends… I find that weird. I didn’t move and my group of friends shifted a lot during HS. I’m finding the same thing with my DD.

My oldest is only in 9th so not sure but I recall when I was in HS - yes, i had basically the same friend group during it. A bit enlarged as i started a sport and another activity but my main close friends were all the same ones from the start.

I think it's a terrible time to uproot a kid unless you have no choice like military moves.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Do all of your teens stay with the same group of friends 9 to 12th grade? Some of the posters in this thread make it seem like moving would tear the teen apart from their forever friends… I find that weird. I didn’t move and my group of friends shifted a lot during HS. I’m finding the same thing with my DD.

+1
For 2 out of my 3 kids, the friend group completely changed in high school - mostly from middle school to high school, but sometimes even within high school.

OP, only you know your kid. Some kids can roll with the punches, easily make new friends and adapt to new situations. It will still be tough, but they will adjust. For other kids, especially those with mental health concerns, a move at this age could be devastating. I have one of the latter and I can't imagine pulling them away from their support system - friends, therapist, awesome pediatrician, team - but I think my other two would be fine with a move after some initial fussing.

[Anonymous]

I mentored a girl who moved before junior year. Her complaint was that she had friends who were willing to unload their stuff on her, but nobody wanted to listen to her stuff except me, an adult. She missed her old state terribly and the family ended up moving back for senior year.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I mentored a girl who moved before junior year. Her complaint was that she had friends who were willing to unload their stuff on her, but nobody wanted to listen to her stuff except me, an adult. She missed her old state terribly and the family ended up moving back for senior year.

I guess to sum it up, she has acquaintances who included her in group activities, but no deep friendships. To any casual observer, she looked like she was doing fine. She wasn’t.