Would you move your 15-year-old across the country for a new dream job?
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Anonymous
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I'm in the process of interviewing for a job I've wanted for many years. It is a perfect fit for my goals and skills, and it pays well.
The issue is my 15-year-old DC. They're now a freshman. They have a solid if small group of friends, and a girlfriend. They've already been moved across the country once by us, when they were six. I wonder how rough the adjustment would be for DC. New school, new kids who have already formed their high-school social groups, a different state's curriculum, the new culture of a larger and very different city from DC. That said, the new city itself is highly appealing. I don't plan to bring this up with DC until I'm deeper into the interview process and am sure that the job would work out for me. But I'm very nervous about how to broach the topic with him, or whether I should just give up on this dream for the sake of keeping him where he is through high school. (The job wouldn't wait for me; it's now or never.) Thoughts? |
Anonymous
| Is there anything else in new location? Family? Etc? |
Anonymous
| Friends, beautiful landscape, ample cultural opportunities, and a far better state university system. |
Anonymous
| Hell no. |
Anonymous
| No - the job can wait another three years |
Anonymous
| Absolutely not. You can wait 3 years for dream job. Let your DC finish out their high school years. |
Anonymous
Ah, but it won't. As noted, this is a singular chance. |
Anonymous
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Nope. Absolutely not.
I think there is a pretty strong correlation between later contentment and switching schools/communities in HS. |
Anonymous
| No. If you've never had a teenager in crisis, you can't grasp how impulsive, vulnerable, irritable, and self-destructive a teenager without a support system/ small friend group, can be. |
Anonymous
| Do you have a spouse? |
Anonymous
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Probably not (but I also probably wouldn't have applied for a job knowing if I got it, I would have to move my high school kids...)
A kid on one of my kids' HS varsity sports teams played this year as a transfer (10th grade) and I could tell it was really rough for him. I encouraged the kids to include him as much as possible, but.... Maybe if my kid was a huge extrovert...loved new people/experiences/etc. But that doesn't describe my kids. |
Anonymous
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Will it be easy for him to make friends, adjust, figure out a new school system and get involved in sports and activities? If so, then, yes, I would.
Definitely research the school systems and consider private, which may be an easier adjustment. Where is the new job? |
Anonymous
Yes. |
Anonymous
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Sure if you have a relatively easy-going kid. If you have a kid with any special circumstances I'd think twice - from them being trans and moving to the deep south, to having a special autism program at their school that won't exist at the new school, etc.
But if you have an average kid who rolls with the punches, sure. |
Anonymous
While this is true, there are also a good number of very emotionally healthy teens who would weather this change just fine. They might not be thrilled or happy about it, especially at first. But think of the confidence your child could have from managing this move, making a NEW group of great friends, and having a great time on a new coast. Also you can start watching 90210 from the beginning because this is exactly what happens to Brenda and Brandon 
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