URMs Feeling Pressure to Prove Themselves

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:That's terrible people say rude things. Your daughter sounds amazing. Congrats on her acceptances!

I sincerely doubt that anyone says what OP is claiming, and I’ve been active in both private and public high schools. No one says that

Sure they say that. Maybe not as much to their face. Kid in my high school got accepted to an Ivy, was ranked somewhere around 5 in the class. No one else in the class attended an Ivy or anything close.

When my daughter was applying to colleges we used to go over the Naviance graphs. The one ivy acceptance (Yale) in my kids school in the previous 3-4 years was from a kid of African immigrants. Had excellent grades (very close to a 4.0 UW) but a 1090 on the SAT (before TO). All of the other kids with a 4.0 and 1500+ SAT scores were rejected.

Similar situation at my kid's HS.

Stop lying! I don't believe any of you. The Nigerian kids at my kid's school are pulling 1550 and above. There is no way in Hell an African immigrant child is bringing home 1090. You white bigots are something else. I swear, liberal whites in this area are some of the most racist POS that I have ever encounter and I grew up in the red state of Texas. You people are so insufferable and demented.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My kid is a URM from a middle class family in Fairfax County. A language other than English is often spoken in our house. Both parents are grads of US universities. My kid has high stats, has been admitted to some sought after universities. I feel they are constantly having to prove themselves in front of their non-URM friends. In addition, I often get the “Your kid will have an advantage in college admissions” comments. It irks me to no end! My kid worked very hard for those grades. Non URM kids from their grade were admitted to comprable schools with similar-possibly lower scores.

They are still working hard in their classes (as they should), while some of her classmates are enjoying some senioritis. If you are a parent to a high performing URM, do you notice this as well? It just makes me sad how they still feel the pressure to show they deserve to attend a prestigious university.

I’m a white person who’s completely capable of being politically incorrect, and boy there are some nasty white people here. If the OP is here: I’m ashamed. I’m so sorry you and your daughter have to put up with this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:That's terrible people say rude things. Your daughter sounds amazing. Congrats on her acceptances!

I sincerely doubt that anyone says what OP is claiming, and I’ve been active in both private and public high schools. No one says that

Sure they say that. Maybe not as much to their face. Kid in my high school got accepted to an Ivy, was ranked somewhere around 5 in the class. No one else in the class attended an Ivy or anything close.

When my daughter was applying to colleges we used to go over the Naviance graphs. The one ivy acceptance (Yale) in my kids school in the previous 3-4 years was from a kid of African immigrants. Had excellent grades (very close to a 4.0 UW) but a 1090 on the SAT (before TO). All of the other kids with a 4.0 and 1500+ SAT scores were rejected.

Similar situation at my kid's HS.

Stop lying! I don't believe any of you. The Nigerian kids at my kid's school are pulling 1550 and above. There is no way in Hell an African immigrant child is bringing home 1090. You white bigots are something else. I swear, liberal whites in this area are some of the most racist POS that I have ever encounter and I grew up in the red state of Texas. You people are so insufferable and demented.

I agree on the Nigerian or Nigerian American kids. Their family set up is very close to the Asian American experience. Nobody is casually bringing home a 1090 or whatever unless there are long understood issues/problems - that would not be OK in the family. They are being coached and encouraged to bring home the 1500. Just like the Asian Americans.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:That's terrible people say rude things. Your daughter sounds amazing. Congrats on her acceptances!

I sincerely doubt that anyone says what OP is claiming, and I’ve been active in both private and public high schools. No one says that

Sure they say that. Maybe not as much to their face. Kid in my high school got accepted to an Ivy, was ranked somewhere around 5 in the class. No one else in the class attended an Ivy or anything close.

When my daughter was applying to colleges we used to go over the Naviance graphs. The one ivy acceptance (Yale) in my kids school in the previous 3-4 years was from a kid of African immigrants. Had excellent grades (very close to a 4.0 UW) but a 1090 on the SAT (before TO). All of the other kids with a 4.0 and 1500+ SAT scores were rejected.

Similar situation at my kid's HS.

No one is getting admitted to Yale with a 1090 SAT.

Stop it.

I can only say what Naviance reported. It’s possible it was incorrect.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There’s so much nastiness on this thread.

Truly awful assumptions about highly-successful URM, as well as bizarre beliefs that URMs “deserve” to have their achievements questioned for life.

You do you, I suppose. But it seems like a cynical and hate-filled way to live.

OP - My advice is to tell your DC that they can’t control other people, nor should they bother trying.

Encourage them to focus on what they can control - how hard they work, how well they listen and learn, how much empathy and kindness they share, and how well they put their talents to use in this world.

There will always be haters. But it’s not your DC’s job to answer to them or even engage their concerns. Work hard, live a good life, and let other people sort out their own BS.

Abolish affirmative action of PP truly wants to solve this problem.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:That's terrible people say rude things. Your daughter sounds amazing. Congrats on her acceptances!

I sincerely doubt that anyone says what OP is claiming, and I’ve been active in both private and public high schools. No one says that

Sure they say that. Maybe not as much to their face. Kid in my high school got accepted to an Ivy, was ranked somewhere around 5 in the class. No one else in the class attended an Ivy or anything close.

When my daughter was applying to colleges we used to go over the Naviance graphs. The one ivy acceptance (Yale) in my kids school in the previous 3-4 years was from a kid of African immigrants. Had excellent grades (very close to a 4.0 UW) but a 1090 on the SAT (before TO). All of the other kids with a 4.0 and 1500+ SAT scores were rejected.

Similar situation at my kid's HS.

No one is getting admitted to Yale with a 1090 SAT.

Stop it.

DP here. URMs absolutely have lower test scores and GPAs for admittance to T25. You have to be really, really, really out of the loop not to know that. White kids and Asian kids would never get admitted with most of the URM scores and GPAs. It is not good or bad, it just is.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:That's terrible people say rude things. Your daughter sounds amazing. Congrats on her acceptances!

I sincerely doubt that anyone says what OP is claiming, and I’ve been active in both private and public high schools. No one says that

Sure they say that. Maybe not as much to their face. Kid in my high school got accepted to an Ivy, was ranked somewhere around 5 in the class. No one else in the class attended an Ivy or anything close.

When my daughter was applying to colleges we used to go over the Naviance graphs. The one ivy acceptance (Yale) in my kids school in the previous 3-4 years was from a kid of African immigrants. Had excellent grades (very close to a 4.0 UW) but a 1090 on the SAT (before TO). All of the other kids with a 4.0 and 1500+ SAT scores were rejected.

Similar situation at my kid's HS.

No one is getting admitted to Yale with a 1090 SAT.

Stop it.

DP here. URMs absolutely have lower test scores and GPAs for admittance to T25. You have to be really, really, really out of the loop not to know that. White kids and Asian kids would never get admitted with most of the URM scores and GPAs. It is not good or bad, it just is.

It's bad. It's not fair.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:That's terrible people say rude things. Your daughter sounds amazing. Congrats on her acceptances!

I sincerely doubt that anyone says what OP is claiming, and I’ve been active in both private and public high schools. No one says that

Sure they say that. Maybe not as much to their face. Kid in my high school got accepted to an Ivy, was ranked somewhere around 5 in the class. No one else in the class attended an Ivy or anything close.

When my daughter was applying to colleges we used to go over the Naviance graphs. The one ivy acceptance (Yale) in my kids school in the previous 3-4 years was from a kid of African immigrants. Had excellent grades (very close to a 4.0 UW) but a 1090 on the SAT (before TO). All of the other kids with a 4.0 and 1500+ SAT scores were rejected.

Similar situation at my kid's HS.

No one is getting admitted to Yale with a 1090 SAT.

Stop it.

DP here. URMs absolutely have lower test scores and GPAs for admittance to T25. You have to be really, really, really out of the loop not to know that. White kids and Asian kids would never get admitted with most of the URM scores and GPAs. It is not good or bad, it just is.

You must not know many smart URM kids at t25 schools because the majority of URM kids getting in these schools are just as accomplished and academically gifted. Most are not even AA (from Africa and the Caribbean) and can hold their own against any high stats group. My DC was waitlisted at our state flagship and ended up at a t20 with a 4.6 gpa (IB diploma) and competitive SATs (700+ high math score). My cousin’s DC has an almost perfect SAT score and was deferred from Princeton EA this year. Both have leadership and great ECs. My cousin’s kid is an athlete but admittedly no recruited for the sport. These are not first generation AA kids. They work hard and they are not taking your precious spots at any of these top schools.

No pressure over here on my child to prove anything to anyone. I wouldn’t about other people’s kids and focus on a good strategy for the success of my own child.

[Anonymous]

Doesn't everyone who gets into a top school feel pressure to prove themselves? They all have a case of imposter syndrome.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:That's terrible people say rude things. Your daughter sounds amazing. Congrats on her acceptances!

I sincerely doubt that anyone says what OP is claiming, and I’ve been active in both private and public high schools. No one says that

Sure they say that. Maybe not as much to their face. Kid in my high school got accepted to an Ivy, was ranked somewhere around 5 in the class. No one else in the class attended an Ivy or anything close.

When my daughter was applying to colleges we used to go over the Naviance graphs. The one ivy acceptance (Yale) in my kids school in the previous 3-4 years was from a kid of African immigrants. Had excellent grades (very close to a 4.0 UW) but a 1090 on the SAT (before TO). All of the other kids with a 4.0 and 1500+ SAT scores were rejected.

Similar situation at my kid's HS.

No one is getting admitted to Yale with a 1090 SAT.

Stop it.

DP here. URMs absolutely have lower test scores and GPAs for admittance to T25. You have to be really, really, really out of the loop not to know that. White kids and Asian kids would never get admitted with most of the URM scores and GPAs. It is not good or bad, it just is.

You must not know many smart URM kids at t25 schools because the majority of URM kids getting in these schools are just as accomplished and academically gifted. Most are not even AA (from Africa and the Caribbean) and can hold their own against any high stats group. My DC was waitlisted at our state flagship and ended up at a t20 with a 4.6 gpa (IB diploma) and competitive SATs (700+ high math score). My cousin’s DC has an almost perfect SAT score and was deferred from Princeton EA this year. Both have leadership and great ECs. My cousin’s kid is an athlete but admittedly no recruited for the sport. These are not first generation AA kids. They work hard and they are not taking your precious spots at any of these top schools.

No pressure over here on my child to prove anything to anyone. I wouldn’t about other people’s kids and focus on a good strategy for the success of my own child.

The discovery in the Harvard case disagrees

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:That's terrible people say rude things. Your daughter sounds amazing. Congrats on her acceptances!

I sincerely doubt that anyone says what OP is claiming, and I’ve been active in both private and public high schools. No one says that

Sure they say that. Maybe not as much to their face. Kid in my high school got accepted to an Ivy, was ranked somewhere around 5 in the class. No one else in the class attended an Ivy or anything close.

When my daughter was applying to colleges we used to go over the Naviance graphs. The one ivy acceptance (Yale) in my kids school in the previous 3-4 years was from a kid of African immigrants. Had excellent grades (very close to a 4.0 UW) but a 1090 on the SAT (before TO). All of the other kids with a 4.0 and 1500+ SAT scores were rejected.

Similar situation at my kid's HS.

No one is getting admitted to Yale with a 1090 SAT.

Stop it.

DP here. URMs absolutely have lower test scores and GPAs for admittance to T25. You have to be really, really, really out of the loop not to know that. White kids and Asian kids would never get admitted with most of the URM scores and GPAs. It is not good or bad, it just is.

You must not know many smart URM kids at t25 schools because the majority of URM kids getting in these schools are just as accomplished and academically gifted. Most are not even AA (from Africa and the Caribbean) and can hold their own against any high stats group. My DC was waitlisted at our state flagship and ended up at a t20 with a 4.6 gpa (IB diploma) and competitive SATs (700+ high math score). My cousin’s DC has an almost perfect SAT score and was deferred from Princeton EA this year. Both have leadership and great ECs. My cousin’s kid is an athlete but admittedly no recruited for the sport. These are not first generation AA kids. They work hard and they are not taking your precious spots at any of these top schools.

No pressure over here on my child to prove anything to anyone. I wouldn’t about other people’s kids and focus on a good strategy for the success of my own child.

The discovery in the Harvard case disagrees

PP here- Good for the few kids that got in with those scores. The two kids I described above did not apply to Harvard for various reasons. There is some self selection going on and it says more about those kids with low scores who applied than the pool of all eligible and qualified URM students. Maybe they are exceptional in ways that can’t be measured by test scores and gpas.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Affirmative Action is used as a pejorative term (mostly) by whites against minorities - without really understanding why AA was established in the first place.

When AA is banned sometime this year, you'd think that the faux stigma created by non minorities will go away. Nope. Another dismissive label will be used to undercut URM academic achievement.

It might get banned, but will the college administrators stop considering race?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:That's terrible people say rude things. Your daughter sounds amazing. Congrats on her acceptances!

I sincerely doubt that anyone says what OP is claiming, and I’ve been active in both private and public high schools. No one says that

Sure they say that. Maybe not as much to their face. Kid in my high school got accepted to an Ivy, was ranked somewhere around 5 in the class. No one else in the class attended an Ivy or anything close.

When my daughter was applying to colleges we used to go over the Naviance graphs. The one ivy acceptance (Yale) in my kids school in the previous 3-4 years was from a kid of African immigrants. Had excellent grades (very close to a 4.0 UW) but a 1090 on the SAT (before TO). All of the other kids with a 4.0 and 1500+ SAT scores were rejected.

Similar situation at my kid's HS.

Stop lying! I don't believe any of you. The Nigerian kids at my kid's school are pulling 1550 and above. There is no way in Hell an African immigrant child is bringing home 1090. You white bigots are something else. I swear, liberal whites in this area are some of the most racist POS that I have ever encounter and I grew up in the red state of Texas. You people are so insufferable and demented.

I remember someone getting a 1090 was on the cover of Parade Magazine for winning all sorts of scholarships. My suspicion is this person would not have won all these scholarships if she was a different race.

I agree on the Nigerian or Nigerian American kids. Their family set up is very close to the Asian American experience. Nobody is casually bringing home a 1090 or whatever unless there are long understood issues/problems - that would not be OK in the family. They are being coached and encouraged to bring home the 1500. Just like the Asian Americans.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:That's terrible people say rude things. Your daughter sounds amazing. Congrats on her acceptances!

I sincerely doubt that anyone says what OP is claiming, and I’ve been active in both private and public high schools. No one says that

Sure they say that. Maybe not as much to their face. Kid in my high school got accepted to an Ivy, was ranked somewhere around 5 in the class. No one else in the class attended an Ivy or anything close.

When my daughter was applying to colleges we used to go over the Naviance graphs. The one ivy acceptance (Yale) in my kids school in the previous 3-4 years was from a kid of African immigrants. Had excellent grades (very close to a 4.0 UW) but a 1090 on the SAT (before TO). All of the other kids with a 4.0 and 1500+ SAT scores were rejected.

Similar situation at my kid's HS.

No one is getting admitted to Yale with a 1090 SAT.

Stop it.

DP here. URMs absolutely have lower test scores and GPAs for admittance to T25. You have to be really, really, really out of the loop not to know that. White kids and Asian kids would never get admitted with most of the URM scores and GPAs. It is not good or bad, it just is.

You must not know many smart URM kids at t25 schools because the majority of URM kids getting in these schools are just as accomplished and academically gifted. Most are not even AA (from Africa and the Caribbean) and can hold their own against any high stats group. My DC was waitlisted at our state flagship and ended up at a t20 with a 4.6 gpa (IB diploma) and competitive SATs (700+ high math score). My cousin’s DC has an almost perfect SAT score and was deferred from Princeton EA this year. Both have leadership and great ECs. My cousin’s kid is an athlete but admittedly no recruited for the sport. These are not first generation AA kids. They work hard and they are not taking your precious spots at any of these top schools.

No pressure over here on my child to prove anything to anyone. I wouldn’t about other people’s kids and focus on a good strategy for the success of my own child.

The discovery in the Harvard case disagrees

PP here- Good for the few kids that got in with those scores. The two kids I described above did not apply to Harvard for various reasons. There is some self selection going on and it says more about those kids with low scores who applied than the pool of all eligible and qualified URM students. Maybe they are exceptional in ways that can’t be measured by test scores and gpas.

Good for the few kids who got in? How are they supposed to react when after their MDs, JDs, or CPAs, no one ever calls on them?

[Anonymous]

"DP here. URMs absolutely have lower test scores and GPAs for admittance to T25. You have to be really, really, really out of the loop not to know that. White kids and Asian kids would never get admitted with most of the URM scores and GPAs. It is not good or bad, it just is."

You're clueless. Their scores as a group might be lower that those of the wealthy white kids with professional parents who attended college. But no POC at a top school is getting in with a score that low. It would be pretty difficult to keep up with the ultra high achievers if you couldn't at least score in the top quintile, and it's really rare for URM students to flunk out of the most elite schools.