URMs Feeling Pressure to Prove Themselves

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When Affirmative Action is removed, I worry White families might continue to feel their kids will be at a disadvantage. Going by scores alone, most elite schools will be filled with Asian American students.

Curious why this is a worry. Because your assumption that these institutions should belong to white hands? That's the crux of all this. Someone is taking something from White kids. I would love 10 years of Asian only admits to see how that shakes out in society - for so many reasons!

Well, yes, since the vast majority of Asians have only lived in this country for the last couple of decades. Out-reproducing the United States and then moving here for our excellent education, doesn't entitle you to all of the spots at top schools. So yes, those spots do belong in the hands of people who have funded them for generations.

But outgunning and stealing all the land from the natives entitles you to all the land? Doesn't the land belong "in the hands of people who have lived there for generations"? When are you returning it?

Stop. Lots of us didn't "steal" anything. My family came from Europe and So. America long after anything was stolen from anyone. The plight of Native Americans is real and up for discussion how to make it right. This is an absurd non-sequitur from that.

Not sure if you are the PP I responded to.. If not, go read it to understand why my response is relevant. if you are that poster, please brush up on comprehension skills.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OPs point is that affirmative action means URMs are not taken seriously. Stick to the topic - and leave others out of this.

No OP says her kids feel pressure to prove themselves. Given the fact that they legally have an advantage in college admissions. Fact is they can get in with lower stats.

Many posters are pointing out that she is living in an oppressed bubble by not realizing that Asian kids have actual pressure to prove themselves given the fact they are legally discriminated against in college admissions. Fact is they must have higher stats than OPs kid plus all the extras to even make the first cut.

OP please remember the higher stress and mental disadvantages other kids have to face before lamenting on the small discomfort your kids might feel while they head off to top schools.

This is not accurate. All the stats are high. Trying to claim a 1600 scorer is smarter than a 1530 or a kid who doesn't test well who submitted other validation is ridiculous.

Some Asian kids often have pressure from parents to prove themselves in a very narrow way. It results in similar candidates. If parents didn't push the aops, test prep (A++, Dr. Li, etc) for various stem magnets, cty, piano/strings, robotics, aime, (if sport) golf/tennis, hyper stem focus etc etc, students would be better able to offer diverse assets to the community. If more kids were able to focus on what interests them, that would make a difference.

Also, Ivies are over 20-30% Asian. Significantly more than URMs combined and far greater than general population.

I am so sick of people saying "I don't test well.' There are plenty of people receiving 'accommodations' for longer time and other accommodations if there are legitimate grounds.

There are even people receiving 'accommodations' based on fake diagnosis to get additional time for tests etc.

Saying 'I don't test well' is like saying 'I don't run well' for athletic tryouts and saying I don't pretend/lie well for trying out for acting parts etc. etc. Ridiculous.

+1. OMG! Thank you for saying this! I always wonder how those kids do in quizzes, mid-terms, etc if they don't 'test well'. This is a common excuse used by parents of kids with strong GPAs but mediocre SATs. Just say your kid is not that smart but a hard worker, or that you are spending a ton of money on academic tutoring.

Somehow they don't do well only on the national level standarized tests
LMFAO Get the F otta here

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You can’t have it both ways OP. That’s what you/your kids have to pay. They will never shake that doubt in other people’s eyes.

True

Signed, URM family who'd rather their kids study abroad to prevent this (plus recent woke nonsense)

Right

NP: Why the eye roll? Is a URM not allowed to have their own thoughts that may be divergent from yours?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OPs point is that affirmative action means URMs are not taken seriously. Stick to the topic - and leave others out of this.

No OP says her kids feel pressure to prove themselves. Given the fact that they legally have an advantage in college admissions. Fact is they can get in with lower stats.

Many posters are pointing out that she is living in an oppressed bubble by not realizing that Asian kids have actual pressure to prove themselves given the fact they are legally discriminated against in college admissions. Fact is they must have higher stats than OPs kid plus all the extras to even make the first cut.

OP please remember the higher stress and mental disadvantages other kids have to face before lamenting on the small discomfort your kids might feel while they head off to top schools.

+1. Let me add another layer on top of this.. What about the not-so-smart Asian kids? or those with ADHD? Any request for advice for them is met with "yeah.. they are screwed". The Asian factor weighs on them like a ton of bricks. A similar URM would have sooo many options!

So much THIS.

I have a South Asian son with ADHD and reading and language learning disorders. He’s a kind person and average as far as academics go. He’s got beautiful dark skin tone.

His applications would not hold water at the same schools an URM kid with the same gpa would. Not even a chance.

His skin tone isn’t winning him any privileges in this world either. That plus the ugly stereotypes about Asian/South Asian men.

Sorry, not sorry your URM child that very well could be a white, privileged (ethnically European) Hispanic guy from South America feels “pressure”.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OPs point is that affirmative action means URMs are not taken seriously. Stick to the topic - and leave others out of this.

No OP says her kids feel pressure to prove themselves. Given the fact that they legally have an advantage in college admissions. Fact is they can get in with lower stats.

Many posters are pointing out that she is living in an oppressed bubble by not realizing that Asian kids have actual pressure to prove themselves given the fact they are legally discriminated against in college admissions. Fact is they must have higher stats than OPs kid plus all the extras to even make the first cut.

OP please remember the higher stress and mental disadvantages other kids have to face before lamenting on the small discomfort your kids might feel while they head off to top schools.

+1. Let me add another layer on top of this.. What about the not-so-smart Asian kids? or those with ADHD? Any request for advice for them is met with "yeah.. they are screwed". The Asian factor weighs on them like a ton of bricks. A similar URM would have sooo many options!

So much THIS.

I have a South Asian son with ADHD and reading and language learning disorders. He’s a kind person and average as far as academics go. He’s got beautiful dark skin tone.

His applications would not hold water at the same schools an URM kid with the same gpa would. Not even a chance.

His skin tone isn’t winning him any privileges in this world either. That plus the ugly stereotypes about Asian/South Asian men.

Sorry, not sorry your URM child that very well could be a white, privileged (ethnically European) Hispanic guy from South America feels “pressure”.

+1. Not to mention the recent African immigrants (or their kids) who piggyback on the African America (or is it Black these days?) quota. Most are 2-parent households, good incomes and solidly middle class or above. Why should they get a free pass?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OPs point is that affirmative action means URMs are not taken seriously. Stick to the topic - and leave others out of this.

No OP says her kids feel pressure to prove themselves. Given the fact that they legally have an advantage in college admissions. Fact is they can get in with lower stats.

Many posters are pointing out that she is living in an oppressed bubble by not realizing that Asian kids have actual pressure to prove themselves given the fact they are legally discriminated against in college admissions. Fact is they must have higher stats than OPs kid plus all the extras to even make the first cut.

OP please remember the higher stress and mental disadvantages other kids have to face before lamenting on the small discomfort your kids might feel while they head off to top schools.

+1. Let me add another layer on top of this.. What about the not-so-smart Asian kids? or those with ADHD? Any request for advice for them is met with "yeah.. they are screwed". The Asian factor weighs on them like a ton of bricks. A similar URM would have sooo many options!

So much THIS.

I have a South Asian son with ADHD and reading and language learning disorders. He’s a kind person and average as far as academics go. He’s got beautiful dark skin tone.

His applications would not hold water at the same schools an URM kid with the same gpa would. Not even a chance.

His skin tone isn’t winning him any privileges in this world either. That plus the ugly stereotypes about Asian/South Asian men.

Sorry, not sorry your URM child that very well could be a white, privileged (ethnically European) Hispanic guy from South America feels “pressure”.

+1. Not to mention the recent African immigrants (or their kids) who piggyback on the African America (or is it Black these days?) quota. Most are 2-parent households, good incomes and solidly middle class or above. Why should they get a free pass?

Because it’s ridiculous to be so hyper-focused on race. It’s wrong and it does our kids a disservice.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OPs point is that affirmative action means URMs are not taken seriously. Stick to the topic - and leave others out of this.

No OP says her kids feel pressure to prove themselves. Given the fact that they legally have an advantage in college admissions. Fact is they can get in with lower stats.

Many posters are pointing out that she is living in an oppressed bubble by not realizing that Asian kids have actual pressure to prove themselves given the fact they are legally discriminated against in college admissions. Fact is they must have higher stats than OPs kid plus all the extras to even make the first cut.

OP please remember the higher stress and mental disadvantages other kids have to face before lamenting on the small discomfort your kids might feel while they head off to top schools.

This is not accurate. All the stats are high. Trying to claim a 1600 scorer is smarter than a 1530 or a kid who doesn't test well who submitted other validation is ridiculous.

Some Asian kids often have pressure from parents to prove themselves in a very narrow way. It results in similar candidates. If parents didn't push the aops, test prep (A++, Dr. Li, etc) for various stem magnets, cty, piano/strings, robotics, aime, (if sport) golf/tennis, hyper stem focus etc etc, students would be better able to offer diverse assets to the community. If more kids were able to focus on what interests them, that would make a difference.

Also, Ivies are over 20-30% Asian. Significantly more than URMs combined and far greater than general population.

I am so sick of people saying "I don't test well.' There are plenty of people receiving 'accommodations' for longer time and other accommodations if there are legitimate grounds.

There are even people receiving 'accommodations' based on fake diagnosis to get additional time for tests etc.

Saying 'I don't test well' is like saying 'I don't run well' for athletic tryouts and saying I don't pretend/lie well for trying out for acting parts etc. etc. Ridiculous.

+1. OMG! Thank you for saying this! I always wonder how those kids do in quizzes, mid-terms, etc if they don't 'test well'. This is a common excuse used by parents of kids with strong GPAs but mediocre SATs. Just say your kid is not that smart but a hard worker, or that you are spending a ton of money on academic tutoring.

+100

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When Affirmative Action is removed, I worry White families might continue to feel their kids will be at a disadvantage. Going by scores alone, most elite schools will be filled with Asian American students.

Curious why this is a worry. Because your assumption that these institutions should belong to white hands? That's the crux of all this. Someone is taking something from White kids. I would love 10 years of Asian only admits to see how that shakes out in society - for so many reasons!

Well, yes, since the vast majority of Asians have only lived in this country for the last couple of decades. Out-reproducing the United States and then moving here for our excellent education, doesn't entitle you to all of the spots at top schools. So yes, those spots do belong in the hands of people who have funded them for generations.

But outgunning and stealing all the land from the natives entitles you to all the land? Doesn't the land belong "in the hands of people who have lived there for generations"? When are you returning it?

Stop. Lots of us didn't "steal" anything. My family came from Europe and So. America long after anything was stolen from anyone. The plight of Native Americans is real and up for discussion how to make it right. This is an absurd non-sequitur from that.

Not sure if you are the PP I responded to.. If not, go read it to understand why my response is relevant. if you are that poster, please brush up on comprehension skills.

I'm not but you also selectively quoted my post. Further, I doubt your response is any less smug or rude than this one. If you can't make your point without ad hominem attacks, just don't make it. Because it's not much of a point at all.

[Anonymous]

They should. Free loaders. The wrong ones benefit too as someone pointed out.

If you have educated Nigerian, Ethiopian, Ghanese parents you have won the lottery.

Piggybacking on the efforts of the civil rights movement for enslaved Africans. And white hispanics have a great unfair deal too.

The gall to then complain! Unbelievable.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When Affirmative Action is removed, I worry White families might continue to feel their kids will be at a disadvantage. Going by scores alone, most elite schools will be filled with Asian American students.

Curious why this is a worry. Because your assumption that these institutions should belong to white hands? That's the crux of all this. Someone is taking something from White kids. I would love 10 years of Asian only admits to see how that shakes out in society - for so many reasons!

Well, yes, since the vast majority of Asians have only lived in this country for the last couple of decades. Out-reproducing the United States and then moving here for our excellent education, doesn't entitle you to all of the spots at top schools. So yes, those spots do belong in the hands of people who have funded them for generations.

Wow - so does the date at which your family showed up in the US determine the cut off date for which citizens get to be real citizens or fake citizens? What if the cutoff date is the Mayflower landing and only one side of your family goes back that far, do you get partial rights? How about Asian American immigrants who have intermarried with people with Native American heritage? What is their status?

You know Asians are not the first First Generation (either in the US, or college students) applying to US colleges right now, don't you? What gives you the right to think you are the only ones who "deserve" an education, at a specific school? Look, you moved from one crowded continent to another, and the US is just getting more crowded - AND the US is not a Communist Society - so you are just going to have to adapt.

Who has said asians are the only ones who "deserve" an education? Where are you getting this stuff from?

No - I didn't move from one crowded continent to another. My parents moved before I was born. My kids who are the ones applying to school have no real connection with Asia. What does my children's history have to do with their qualifications to a spot in a college? I am just not seeing the connection.

Unless you were the descendent of slave or a slave-owner, you are not part of the "equity" dialog. Life is very Black and White.

In the meanwhile, I pulled out my money from tech stocks yesterday. Imma gonna buy some farmland next.

[Anonymous]

At first I thought if a Native American asks me to leave, I will.

Then I realized I am too much of a polite Asian-American. I need to conquer and rule this land because most people are stupid here. It is like snatching candy from an obese baby!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:At first I thought if a Native American asks me to leave, I will.

Then I realized I am too much of a polite Asian-American. I need to conquer and rule this land because most people are stupid here. It is like snatching candy from an obese baby!!

Do obese babies give up candy more readily than normal weight babies? I learn so much on DCUM.

[Anonymous]

These days, everyone feels the pressure trying to succeed. I would suggest people try to parent their child effectively which means not putting him in a situation they are likely to fail.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OPs point is that affirmative action means URMs are not taken seriously. Stick to the topic - and leave others out of this.

No OP says her kids feel pressure to prove themselves. Given the fact that they legally have an advantage in college admissions. Fact is they can get in with lower stats.

Many posters are pointing out that she is living in an oppressed bubble by not realizing that Asian kids have actual pressure to prove themselves given the fact they are legally discriminated against in college admissions. Fact is they must have higher stats than OPs kid plus all the extras to even make the first cut.

OP please remember the higher stress and mental disadvantages other kids have to face before lamenting on the small discomfort your kids might feel while they head off to top schools.

+1. Let me add another layer on top of this.. What about the not-so-smart Asian kids? or those with ADHD? Any request for advice for them is met with "yeah.. they are screwed". The Asian factor weighs on them like a ton of bricks. A similar URM would have sooo many options!

So much THIS.

I have a South Asian son with ADHD and reading and language learning disorders. He’s a kind person and average as far as academics go. He’s got beautiful dark skin tone.

His applications would not hold water at the same schools an URM kid with the same gpa would. Not even a chance.

His skin tone isn’t winning him any privileges in this world either. That plus the ugly stereotypes about Asian/South Asian men.

Sorry, not sorry your URM child that very well could be a white, privileged (ethnically European) Hispanic guy from South America feels “pressure”.

Why do you assume their child is white-passing? If they're feeling pressure from other people's biases, they're likely Black. And I'm sure you recognize that the "ugly stereotypes" for South Asian men are nothing compared to those for Black men.

-South Asian parent

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OPs point is that affirmative action means URMs are not taken seriously. Stick to the topic - and leave others out of this.

No OP says her kids feel pressure to prove themselves. Given the fact that they legally have an advantage in college admissions. Fact is they can get in with lower stats.

Many posters are pointing out that she is living in an oppressed bubble by not realizing that Asian kids have actual pressure to prove themselves given the fact they are legally discriminated against in college admissions. Fact is they must have higher stats than OPs kid plus all the extras to even make the first cut.

OP please remember the higher stress and mental disadvantages other kids have to face before lamenting on the small discomfort your kids might feel while they head off to top schools.

+1. Let me add another layer on top of this.. What about the not-so-smart Asian kids? or those with ADHD? Any request for advice for them is met with "yeah.. they are screwed". The Asian factor weighs on them like a ton of bricks. A similar URM would have sooo many options!

So much THIS.

I have a South Asian son with ADHD and reading and language learning disorders. He’s a kind person and average as far as academics go. He’s got beautiful dark skin tone.

His applications would not hold water at the same schools an URM kid with the same gpa would. Not even a chance.

His skin tone isn’t winning him any privileges in this world either. That plus the ugly stereotypes about Asian/South Asian men.

Sorry, not sorry your URM child that very well could be a white, privileged (ethnically European) Hispanic guy from South America feels “pressure”.

Why do you assume their child is white-passing? If they're feeling pressure from other people's biases, they're likely Black. And I'm sure you recognize that the "ugly stereotypes" for South Asian men are nothing compared to those for Black men.

-South Asian parent

NP. OP said a language other than English is spoken at home. Hence the assumption of Hispanic ethnicity.