URMs Feeling Pressure to Prove Themselves

Anonymous
White people exaggerate the benefit of being URM, , and Asian Americans exaggerate the handicap of being Asian.

(And I say this as someone from a family that is mixed Caucasian/Asian).
Anonymous
+1 cuts both ways.

Lots of Asian Americans can't understand why they got rejected over a lower stat URM other than due to the color of their skin. Oh yes, it's because their personality is lacking.

Almost all kids with very high stats worked hard. But the comment " “Your kid will have an advantage in college admissions” is very true, and the numbers reflect that.


+1
Take two equally high stats, qualified kids - the URM kid will be the one getting an offer. That does not mean the URM kid is not qualified, but it is still a factor in admissions.

Recruited athletes at top schools deal with the same thing. My DC was valedictorian, NMF and went to an Ivy as a recruited athlete, and everyone assumed that athletics is what got DC in. You know what? It was the tip and played a factor in admissions. DC was absolutely qualified, but the sport let them stand out in a pile of qualified candidates.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:That's terrible people say rude things. Your daughter sounds amazing. Congrats on her acceptances!


I sincerely doubt that anyone says what OP is claiming, and I’ve been active in both private and public high schools. No one says that


OP here. I assure you, these comments have come from parents of my kid’s peers. One, I clearly remember, was the same mom who, back when they were in Kindergarten, asked if I would “let” my kid date a Black person. I was in shock! I grew up in a liberal state, and was not ready for this kind of comment. Just a few months ago, this same mom said to me, “You know, your kid will have an easier time getting into XX University, because you are Hispanic”. Which in some cases may be true, but kid did get high grades, and deserves to be there.

I have also heard, “Well, if my kid were were Hispanic, we would totally use that to our advantage”
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:That's terrible people say rude things. Your daughter sounds amazing. Congrats on her acceptances!


I sincerely doubt that anyone says what OP is claiming, and I’ve been active in both private and public high schools. No one says that


OP here. I assure you, these comments have come from parents of my kid’s peers. One, I clearly remember, was the same mom who, back when they were in Kindergarten, asked if I would “let” my kid date a Black person. I was in shock! I grew up in a liberal state, and was not ready for this kind of comment. Just a few months ago, this same mom said to me, “You know, your kid will have an easier time getting into XX University, because you are Hispanic”. Which in some cases may be true, but kid did get high grades, and deserves to be there.

I have also heard, “Well, if my kid were were Hispanic, we would totally use that to our advantage”

well, yea. Your kid put their race on the application; it was to their advantage.

No one is saying your kid didn't work hard, but unfortunately, this is the problem with using "holistic admissions" as a form of affirmative action.

Would you support policies that purely look at stats and not "holistic" demographics?
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:It’s hard. My husband and I are URM and people have always questioned the schools we went to, ivy and top 20. It almost feels like you have to work even harder to prove that you achieved anything on merit. As much assume affirmative action, we were both top of our respective high school class and he was top of his college class (phi beta kappa) before going to ivy law school with multiple ECs and national awards etc. Yet, people always assume that we only got there bc of affirmative action. Now, even in biglaw, it still doesn’t end. Other partners and associates can graduate from random place whereas every URM has to be from a better law school to be at the same firm. It never ends.


Then Affirmative Action is unnecessary, right?
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:That's terrible people say rude things. Your daughter sounds amazing. Congrats on her acceptances!


I sincerely doubt that anyone says what OP is claiming, and I’ve been active in both private and public high schools. No one says that


I've heard it.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:That's terrible people say rude things. Your daughter sounds amazing. Congrats on her acceptances!


I sincerely doubt that anyone says what OP is claiming, and I’ve been active in both private and public high schools. No one says that


OP here. I assure you, these comments have come from parents of my kid’s peers. One, I clearly remember, was the same mom who, back when they were in Kindergarten, asked if I would “let” my kid date a Black person. I was in shock! I grew up in a liberal state, and was not ready for this kind of comment. Just a few months ago, this same mom said to me, “You know, your kid will have an easier time getting into XX University, because you are Hispanic”. Which in some cases may be true, but kid did get high grades, and deserves to be there.

I have also heard, “Well, if my kid were were Hispanic, we would totally use that to our advantage”

well, yea. Your kid put their race on the application; it was to their advantage.

No one is saying your kid didn't work hard, but unfortunately, this is the problem with using "holistic admissions" as a form of affirmative action.

Would you support policies that purely look at stats and not "holistic" demographics?



NP
If it is purely stats MIT could end up accepting only from very few top magnet technology high schools.
I don’t think this will create a well rounded class room.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:White people exaggerate the benefit of being URM, , and Asian Americans exaggerate the handicap of being Asian.

(And I say this as someone from a family that is mixed Caucasian/Asian).


This exactly!
Anonymous
I honestly don't understand why OP sounds surprised. I mean, seriously OP? What were you expecting?
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:White people exaggerate the benefit of being URM, , and Asian Americans exaggerate the handicap of being Asian.

(And I say this as someone from a family that is mixed Caucasian/Asian).


Still you clearly don't get it even with that qualification
Anonymous
OP, this is exactly why some URMs are against affirmative action.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:Well it is true that your kid might not have had to do so well to be admitted to those schools. That's the truth and why people say what they say.

That said, your kid sounds amazing. Congrats.


I mean, this. URM is a hook, fair or not. You have no way to know whose stats were better or worse. Yours got into a top school, which is great. And she sounds very smart and accomplished But it's also possible that, all things being equal (something we cannot know), she got the nod b/c she was born a certain race/ethnicity/whatever.

And before you say it, yes, I agree that things like legacies should not be allowed either.
Anonymous
I was a biracial white-passing minority at an elite college in the 90s and knew immediately literally everyone in my class was far smarter and cutthroat. It was awful. And in January of my first year my advisors were trying to get me to consider the easiest majors just because I aced an easy intro class everyone aces. Not try harder and here’s some resources, they just wanted me in an easy department. Being the dumb kid sucks. EVERYONE know you only got in because of affirmative action. Not to say most peers are mean and won’t socialize with you, it’s just you can tell they know you’re not on their level.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:I was a biracial white-passing minority at an elite college in the 90s and knew immediately literally everyone in my class was far smarter and cutthroat. It was awful. And in January of my first year my advisors were trying to get me to consider the easiest majors just because I aced an easy intro class everyone aces. Not try harder and here’s some resources, they just wanted me in an easy department. Being the dumb kid sucks. EVERYONE know you only got in because of affirmative action. Not to say most peers are mean and won’t socialize with you, it’s just you can tell they know you’re not on their level.


At least you are honest about it. Most are not.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:It’s hard. My husband and I are URM and people have always questioned the schools we went to, ivy and top 20. It almost feels like you have to work even harder to prove that you achieved anything on merit. As much assume affirmative action, we were both top of our respective high school class and he was top of his college class (phi beta kappa) before going to ivy law school with multiple ECs and national awards etc. Yet, people always assume that we only got there bc of affirmative action. Now, even in biglaw, it still doesn’t end. Other partners and associates can graduate from random place whereas every URM has to be from a better law school to be at the same firm. It never ends.


It sounds like you're the category that benefits the most from affirmative action. Otherwise qualified candidates who can check the box have a much better chance of admission.
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