Thoughts on the “other woman”?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When I was OW, I didn't feel like I was harming the DW because I had no intention of breaking up her family. And when you think about it, I gotta give Sumner credit -- she could've dimed him out ages ago, but she didn't. She kept her mouth shut, she was discreet, no harm came to Behati. It wasn't until Sumner's friend tried to sell the story that Sumner herself came forward.

But honestly though, if Behati had an expectation of monogamy, she's a fool.

Well you were. In what f@cking world do you live in that you think f@cking another woman’s husband isn’t going to harm her…and ultimately her children when the affair us discovered.

You are a self-centered POS.

Not PP but you should read statistics on this. Most affairs are never discovered. The ones that are are have a more than 80% chance of staying married. People in happy marriages don’t cheat. There are some scumbags who will but usually, an affair is a symptom of a marriage in decline or already dead. A good marriage will survive an affair…a weak one will not…and that means the affair was not the main issue

In so many cases it’s mental issues and trauma on the part of the cheater. Period. It’s not the marriage or anything their did they made them cheat. And, the cheater will often begin to become very critical of everything at home. What you are missing is all the trauma and horror that occurs, even in the “good” marriages that end up making it. It’s never the same. It takes a long, long time to get even close to trust again. Just stupid to ever do that and it’s an arrogant person that lives with the “what they don’t know can’t hurt them”. That secret alone is eroding the marriage and it’s intimacy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t blame the other woman. She is irrelevant. Men or spouses aren’t property. They have a brain and their own free will. It is up to them alone (and with their spouse) to keep their marriage intact

+1

Agree. But when they are both married with families it really makes me angry they are putting two sets of spouses and kids thorough that. I mean you are gddamn parents and spouses yourselves, how could you do that to another family? I get the dumb clueless OW that’s never been married or had kids and can’t even fathom all of the time and emotion and fragility of children. But other parents? Just no.

Good parents don’t do that. They just don’t. They have their kids’ best interests first and won’t invite that potential chaos into their kids’ lives.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When I was OW, I didn't feel like I was harming the DW because I had no intention of breaking up her family. And when you think about it, I gotta give Sumner credit -- she could've dimed him out ages ago, but she didn't. She kept her mouth shut, she was discreet, no harm came to Behati. It wasn't until Sumner's friend tried to sell the story that Sumner herself came forward.

But honestly though, if Behati had an expectation of monogamy, she's a fool.

Well you were. In what f@cking world do you live in that you think f@cking another woman’s husband isn’t going to harm her…and ultimately her children when the affair us discovered.

You are a self-centered POS.

Not PP but you should read statistics on this. Most affairs are never discovered. The ones that are are have a more than 80% chance of staying married. People in happy marriages don’t cheat. There are some scumbags who will but usually, an affair is a symptom of a marriage in decline or already dead. A good marriage will survive an affair…a weak one will not…and that means the affair was not the main issue

In so many cases it’s mental issues and trauma on the part of the cheater. Period. It’s not the marriage or anything their did they made them cheat. And, the cheater will often begin to become very critical of everything at home. What you are missing is all the trauma and horror that occurs, even in the “good” marriages that end up making it. It’s never the same. It takes a long, long time to get even close to trust again. Just stupid to ever do that and it’s an arrogant person that lives with the “what they don’t know can’t hurt them”. That secret alone is eroding the marriage and it’s intimacy.

My exH cheated on all his wives. I was the third one

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She is not a victim, but all the fault is with the married person looking to step out and betray their spouse.

The betrayed spouse needs to let go of the anger if they decide to stay with the cheating spouse. I know several women that obsess over the OW and hate her, but have forgiven their husbands.

That's how they manage that trick -- they hate the OW instead. It's the only way.

Conversely, the OW often obsesses about the wife, as well. Competition over limited resources, the actual man is secondary.

And wishes her harm, stalks her on the Internet …all while the wife has zero idea she even exists. She’s in a competition with a wife that doesn’t even know she’s in one and sadly they still can’t get them to leave the wife 98% of the time…when he only sees her at her absolute best in a fantasy world for an hour at a time.

OH MY GOD you are so tiresome. For the millionth time: Your H's one experience is not representative of all affairs. Every time you post this stuff, you just remind us what a loser YOUR husband was.

+1 Do these bizarre posters not realize that their husbands are describing them in less than flattering terms to the OW? Do they really think their DH is telling the OW how awesome their DW is? NO. THEY ARE NOT. They are telling their AP how shrew-like, horrible and unattractive their wives are, thus justifying their affair. Why in the world would the OW be obsessed with them? They think the wives are the losers their DH described them to be. Wake up. Stop kidding yourselves.

Nope. Not all men do that. Particularly narcissists because it would reflect badly on them. They both often never talk of their spouses. Some men have a code where they will never say anything bad and get angry if the ow says anything negative about the wife. What you describe is a stereotype. Many men in happy marriages cheat in no string situations. Being jealous of the woman he sleeps next to every night, celebrates holidays and goes on exotic trips with is normal. That often want her lifestyle.

"Some men have a code..." -- lady, you've already told us all these details about your (ex?) husband's affair.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She is not a victim, but all the fault is with the married person looking to step out and betray their spouse.

The betrayed spouse needs to let go of the anger if they decide to stay with the cheating spouse. I know several women that obsess over the OW and hate her, but have forgiven their husbands.

That's how they manage that trick -- they hate the OW instead. It's the only way.

Conversely, the OW often obsesses about the wife, as well. Competition over limited resources, the actual man is secondary.

And wishes her harm, stalks her on the Internet …all while the wife has zero idea she even exists. She’s in a competition with a wife that doesn’t even know she’s in one and sadly they still can’t get them to leave the wife 98% of the time…when he only sees her at her absolute best in a fantasy world for an hour at a time.

When my college boyfriend cheated on me, months later my boyfriend told me how the “other woman” would talk about how much she hated me- and I had no idea she even existed at that point. It was weird the way she acted as though I’d done something to hurt her when she was the one going after someone else’s boyfriend.

I never could figure out her thought process on that. I wonder what a therapist would think her attitude indicated.

Your boyfriend was a liar. He lied to you when he cheated on you, and he lied to you about what the "other woman" said about you, too. Because he's a liar. Sorry to break it to you.

Yes, he most definitely was a liar and a jerk, but other people also told me that this woman talked about how much she resented me. I’ve always thought it was weird that she hated me when I was the one who was the “victim” of the two of them cheating.

She knew he had a girlfriend and set out to break us up for some reason- and yes, he lied and he’s the one who cheated on me, but I will always think it’s weird to be willing to be with a person who you know is in an exclusive relationship and then resent that other person. How much easier it would be- especially when you’re in college- to find someone else who is unattached.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When I was OW, I didn't feel like I was harming the DW because I had no intention of breaking up her family. And when you think about it, I gotta give Sumner credit -- she could've dimed him out ages ago, but she didn't. She kept her mouth shut, she was discreet, no harm came to Behati. It wasn't until Sumner's friend tried to sell the story that Sumner herself came forward.

But honestly though, if Behati had an expectation of monogamy, she's a fool.

Well you were. In what f@cking world do you live in that you think f@cking another woman’s husband isn’t going to harm her…and ultimately her children when the affair us discovered.

You are a self-centered POS.

Not PP but you should read statistics on this. Most affairs are never discovered. The ones that are are have a more than 80% chance of staying married. People in happy marriages don’t cheat. There are some scumbags who will but usually, an affair is a symptom of a marriage in decline or already dead. A good marriage will survive an affair…a weak one will not…and that means the affair was not the main issue

In so many cases it’s mental issues and trauma on the part of the cheater. Period. It’s not the marriage or anything their did they made them cheat. And, the cheater will often begin to become very critical of everything at home. What you are missing is all the trauma and horror that occurs, even in the “good” marriages that end up making it. It’s never the same. It takes a long, long time to get even close to trust again. Just stupid to ever do that and it’s an arrogant person that lives with the “what they don’t know can’t hurt them”. That secret alone is eroding the marriage and it’s intimacy.

My exH cheated on all his wives. I was the third one

Why did you marry someone who had already cheated TWO TIMES???

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She is not a victim, but all the fault is with the married person looking to step out and betray their spouse.

The betrayed spouse needs to let go of the anger if they decide to stay with the cheating spouse. I know several women that obsess over the OW and hate her, but have forgiven their husbands.

That's how they manage that trick -- they hate the OW instead. It's the only way.

Conversely, the OW often obsesses about the wife, as well. Competition over limited resources, the actual man is secondary.

And wishes her harm, stalks her on the Internet …all while the wife has zero idea she even exists. She’s in a competition with a wife that doesn’t even know she’s in one and sadly they still can’t get them to leave the wife 98% of the time…when he only sees her at her absolute best in a fantasy world for an hour at a time.

When my college boyfriend cheated on me, months later my boyfriend told me how the “other woman” would talk about how much she hated me- and I had no idea she even existed at that point. It was weird the way she acted as though I’d done something to hurt her when she was the one going after someone else’s boyfriend.

I never could figure out her thought process on that. I wonder what a therapist would think her attitude indicated.

Your boyfriend was a liar. He lied to you when he cheated on you, and he lied to you about what the "other woman" said about you, too. Because he's a liar. Sorry to break it to you.

Yes, he most definitely was a liar and a jerk, but other people also told me that this woman talked about how much she resented me. I’ve always thought it was weird that she hated me when I was the one who was the “victim” of the two of them cheating.

She knew he had a girlfriend and set out to break us up for some reason- and yes, he lied and he’s the one who cheated on me, but I will always think it’s weird to be willing to be with a person who you know is in an exclusive relationship and then resent that other person. How much easier it would be- especially when you’re in college- to find someone else who is unattached.

It was not an exclusive relationship, obviously. Again, your ex was a liar. He lied to you and he lied to her, too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When I was OW, I didn't feel like I was harming the DW because I had no intention of breaking up her family. And when you think about it, I gotta give Sumner credit -- she could've dimed him out ages ago, but she didn't. She kept her mouth shut, she was discreet, no harm came to Behati. It wasn't until Sumner's friend tried to sell the story that Sumner herself came forward.

But honestly though, if Behati had an expectation of monogamy, she's a fool.

Well you were. In what f@cking world do you live in that you think f@cking another woman’s husband isn’t going to harm her…and ultimately her children when the affair us discovered.

You are a self-centered POS.

Not PP but you should read statistics on this. Most affairs are never discovered. The ones that are are have a more than 80% chance of staying married. People in happy marriages don’t cheat. There are some scumbags who will but usually, an affair is a symptom of a marriage in decline or already dead. A good marriage will survive an affair…a weak one will not…and that means the affair was not the main issue

In so many cases it’s mental issues and trauma on the part of the cheater. Period. It’s not the marriage or anything their did they made them cheat. And, the cheater will often begin to become very critical of everything at home. What you are missing is all the trauma and horror that occurs, even in the “good” marriages that end up making it. It’s never the same. It takes a long, long time to get even close to trust again. Just stupid to ever do that and it’s an arrogant person that lives with the “what they don’t know can’t hurt them”. That secret alone is eroding the marriage and it’s intimacy.

My exH cheated on all his wives. I was the third one

Why did you marry someone who had already cheated TWO TIMES???

He lied - I thought he was once divorced as he hid his very first marriage

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I noticed with the Adam Levine controversy that the super feminist take among younger millennials and Gen Z is to victimize the “other woman” and make the husband the sole perpetrator, including situations where the husband is famous and known to be married with kids. The husband IS most responsible for cheating on his wife, I agree with that. He’s the one who made promises he broke. But do women really not owe anything to other women anymore? It’s totally fine to be a side chick now , even when it’s publicly known that the wife has little kids at home?

I feel like I’m taking crazy pills watching all these young women fall all over themselves to defend that TikToker who had the affair with Adam Levine. I don’t care what lies he fed her, she knew he was married and she was an adult when their affair started. It’s interesting to me that it’s considered “unfeminist” to call her out for being a homewrecker or to tell her t9 shut her legs to married men. Why can’t two things be true at once? Adam Levine is a trash husband and I hope his wife leaves with half his fortune. But knowingly sleeping with married men is trash behavior too.

So is your thesis “we are not being adequately cruel as a society to a woman who exposed a man for cheating on his wife”? Are you afraid that the scarlet letter she embroidered for herself was too beautiful?

She wasn’t even apologetic though. I only watched 2 of her videos so idk, maybe she talks about being sorry somewhere else. But in the first two videos she released she makes herself out to be the victim when really the victim is the wife and kids. She knew he was married! What did she expect? The least she can do now is say she is sorry and regrets it.

She doesn’t need to be apologetic to “us” as in the general public. The only person she *may have* contributed harm to is the wife of the man, and for all you or I know she told the wife as soon as the story was going to break and the wife was happy that she went public because it pushed a bunch of OTHER people to expose his creeping. That’s only going to help the wife in the long run if she decides to divorce him or get a post nup. She doesn’t owe you an apology. She doesn’t owe me an apology. And the idea that we all have to get together and call her a “slut” and tell her to “keep her legs closed” even though she never did anything to harm us is literally taken from A Scarlet Letter.

Sumner is no Hester Prynne. Women that basically sell sex, especially White, educated (she evidently has a marketing degree) women with options are not helping the feminist cause. I agree that she doesn’t owe anyone an insincere apology.

Wait wait wait. The reason all the very angry people on this thread are calling her names they would discipline their teenage children for using is because they don’t consider her adequately feminist? That’s…literally insane. A feminist perspective would be to look at the lack of symmetrical name calling and vitriol targeted at the man in question and wonder how deep the societal misogyny goes— and this is even after the thread ostensibly acknowledge that he’s “more”’in the wrong.

At least in this corner of the internet she’s quite a lot like Hester Prynne: she hasn’t done a thing to anyone posting here but they need to freak out and call her names and complain she has no “shame” and hasn’t carried out her punishment correctly. It’s really a lot more telling about this group than it is about the woman in question.

Have you read the Internet? Listened to a talk show or late night television? Seen the memes? Levine is getting shredded. A giant huge mockery is being made of him, what he did and his ridiculous text messages. YES- people are tearing him apart. AND the Celtics head coach is taking way more heat in public opinion then his consensual married co-worker. It was a man that ratted him out. Men and women are condemning these cheating men, but that doesn’t fit your narrative I guess.

OK and that brings me back to my very first question on this thread— is the point of the thread to say that there has not been enough cruelty towards the woman in this situation and we need to immediately put her on a platform so the “virtuous” women can scream about her? Because they need to have that chance to scream about her?

Really it’s genuinely shocking to me to watch this because I bet a lot of these same women would tell their daughters not to call people sluts or trash but they have a real drive to make sure whatever the man did we not forget to shame the woman too. I will make the exception that in the very unlikely case his wife posts here, if she had a rant I’d think that was understandable.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I noticed with the Adam Levine controversy that the super feminist take among younger millennials and Gen Z is to victimize the “other woman” and make the husband the sole perpetrator, including situations where the husband is famous and known to be married with kids. The husband IS most responsible for cheating on his wife, I agree with that. He’s the one who made promises he broke. But do women really not owe anything to other women anymore? It’s totally fine to be a side chick now , even when it’s publicly known that the wife has little kids at home?

I feel like I’m taking crazy pills watching all these young women fall all over themselves to defend that TikToker who had the affair with Adam Levine. I don’t care what lies he fed her, she knew he was married and she was an adult when their affair started. It’s interesting to me that it’s considered “unfeminist” to call her out for being a homewrecker or to tell her t9 shut her legs to married men. Why can’t two things be true at once? Adam Levine is a trash husband and I hope his wife leaves with half his fortune. But knowingly sleeping with married men is trash behavior too.

So is your thesis “we are not being adequately cruel as a society to a woman who exposed a man for cheating on his wife”? Are you afraid that the scarlet letter she embroidered for herself was too beautiful?

She wasn’t even apologetic though. I only watched 2 of her videos so idk, maybe she talks about being sorry somewhere else. But in the first two videos she released she makes herself out to be the victim when really the victim is the wife and kids. She knew he was married! What did she expect? The least she can do now is say she is sorry and regrets it.

She doesn’t need to be apologetic to “us” as in the general public. The only person she *may have* contributed harm to is the wife of the man, and for all you or I know she told the wife as soon as the story was going to break and the wife was happy that she went public because it pushed a bunch of OTHER people to expose his creeping. That’s only going to help the wife in the long run if she decides to divorce him or get a post nup. She doesn’t owe you an apology. She doesn’t owe me an apology. And the idea that we all have to get together and call her a “slut” and tell her to “keep her legs closed” even though she never did anything to harm us is literally taken from A Scarlet Letter.

Sumner is no Hester Prynne. Women that basically sell sex, especially White, educated (she evidently has a marketing degree) women with options are not helping the feminist cause. I agree that she doesn’t owe anyone an insincere apology.

Wait wait wait. The reason all the very angry people on this thread are calling her names they would discipline their teenage children for using is because they don’t consider her adequately feminist? That’s…literally insane. A feminist perspective would be to look at the lack of symmetrical name calling and vitriol targeted at the man in question and wonder how deep the societal misogyny goes— and this is even after the thread ostensibly acknowledge that he’s “more”’in the wrong.

At least in this corner of the internet she’s quite a lot like Hester Prynne: she hasn’t done a thing to anyone posting here but they need to freak out and call her names and complain she has no “shame” and hasn’t carried out her punishment correctly. It’s really a lot more telling about this group than it is about the woman in question.

Being a feminist doesn’t mean taking all the worst parts of the male gender and emulating them.

Somewhere along the way women began thinking feminist meant having affairs with other people’s spouses and rampant promiscuous sex.

How many straight/heterosexual men are selling their bodies on only fans or exploiting their sexuality to get ahead? Not using their brains, but getting paid for dic pics? I don’t believe Hester was selling her body for $ or trying to gain a book deal out of the affair she had.

Ok so you think that the problem is she’s making money. I read earlier on this thread that the story was going to break anyway via one of her friends— should she just have not exposed all of his creeping online so you wouldn’t feel like she was getting something out of it? Because it sounds like your objection isn’t about feminism it’s that you don’t want her to make money?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I noticed with the Adam Levine controversy that the super feminist take among younger millennials and Gen Z is to victimize the “other woman” and make the husband the sole perpetrator, including situations where the husband is famous and known to be married with kids. The husband IS most responsible for cheating on his wife, I agree with that. He’s the one who made promises he broke. But do women really not owe anything to other women anymore? It’s totally fine to be a side chick now , even when it’s publicly known that the wife has little kids at home?

I feel like I’m taking crazy pills watching all these young women fall all over themselves to defend that TikToker who had the affair with Adam Levine. I don’t care what lies he fed her, she knew he was married and she was an adult when their affair started. It’s interesting to me that it’s considered “unfeminist” to call her out for being a homewrecker or to tell her t9 shut her legs to married men. Why can’t two things be true at once? Adam Levine is a trash husband and I hope his wife leaves with half his fortune. But knowingly sleeping with married men is trash behavior too.

So is your thesis “we are not being adequately cruel as a society to a woman who exposed a man for cheating on his wife”? Are you afraid that the scarlet letter she embroidered for herself was too beautiful?

She wasn’t even apologetic though. I only watched 2 of her videos so idk, maybe she talks about being sorry somewhere else. But in the first two videos she released she makes herself out to be the victim when really the victim is the wife and kids. She knew he was married! What did she expect? The least she can do now is say she is sorry and regrets it.

She doesn’t need to be apologetic to “us” as in the general public. The only person she *may have* contributed harm to is the wife of the man, and for all you or I know she told the wife as soon as the story was going to break and the wife was happy that she went public because it pushed a bunch of OTHER people to expose his creeping. That’s only going to help the wife in the long run if she decides to divorce him or get a post nup. She doesn’t owe you an apology. She doesn’t owe me an apology. And the idea that we all have to get together and call her a “slut” and tell her to “keep her legs closed” even though she never did anything to harm us is literally taken from A Scarlet Letter.

Sumner is no Hester Prynne. Women that basically sell sex, especially White, educated (she evidently has a marketing degree) women with options are not helping the feminist cause. I agree that she doesn’t owe anyone an insincere apology.

Wait wait wait. The reason all the very angry people on this thread are calling her names they would discipline their teenage children for using is because they don’t consider her adequately feminist? That’s…literally insane. A feminist perspective would be to look at the lack of symmetrical name calling and vitriol targeted at the man in question and wonder how deep the societal misogyny goes— and this is even after the thread ostensibly acknowledge that he’s “more”’in the wrong.

At least in this corner of the internet she’s quite a lot like Hester Prynne: she hasn’t done a thing to anyone posting here but they need to freak out and call her names and complain she has no “shame” and hasn’t carried out her punishment correctly. It’s really a lot more telling about this group than it is about the woman in question.

Have you read the Internet? Listened to a talk show or late night television? Seen the memes? Levine is getting shredded. A giant huge mockery is being made of him, what he did and his ridiculous text messages. YES- people are tearing him apart. AND the Celtics head coach is taking way more heat in public opinion then his consensual married co-worker. It was a man that ratted him out. Men and women are condemning these cheating men, but that doesn’t fit your narrative I guess.

OK and that brings me back to my very first question on this thread— is the point of the thread to say that there has not been enough cruelty towards the woman in this situation and we need to immediately put her on a platform so the “virtuous” women can scream about her? Because they need to have that chance to scream about her?

Really it’s genuinely shocking to me to watch this because I bet a lot of these same women would tell their daughters not to call people sluts or trash but they have a real drive to make sure whatever the man did we not forget to shame the woman too. I will make the exception that in the very unlikely case his wife posts here, if she had a rant I’d think that was understandable.

PP you are fighting a valiant but useless fight on this site/subforum. There are a few posters who are so beyond hurt they cannot see any other shade of existence except their own, and they don't have the capacity for empathy. They are just swinging aimlessly at every thread and every poster.

Life, of course, is complicated. And the tradition of women get blamed is unfortunately alive and well.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I noticed with the Adam Levine controversy that the super feminist take among younger millennials and Gen Z is to victimize the “other woman” and make the husband the sole perpetrator, including situations where the husband is famous and known to be married with kids. The husband IS most responsible for cheating on his wife, I agree with that. He’s the one who made promises he broke. But do women really not owe anything to other women anymore? It’s totally fine to be a side chick now , even when it’s publicly known that the wife has little kids at home?

I feel like I’m taking crazy pills watching all these young women fall all over themselves to defend that TikToker who had the affair with Adam Levine. I don’t care what lies he fed her, she knew he was married and she was an adult when their affair started. It’s interesting to me that it’s considered “unfeminist” to call her out for being a homewrecker or to tell her t9 shut her legs to married men. Why can’t two things be true at once? Adam Levine is a trash husband and I hope his wife leaves with half his fortune. But knowingly sleeping with married men is trash behavior too.

So is your thesis “we are not being adequately cruel as a society to a woman who exposed a man for cheating on his wife”? Are you afraid that the scarlet letter she embroidered for herself was too beautiful?

She wasn’t even apologetic though. I only watched 2 of her videos so idk, maybe she talks about being sorry somewhere else. But in the first two videos she released she makes herself out to be the victim when really the victim is the wife and kids. She knew he was married! What did she expect? The least she can do now is say she is sorry and regrets it.

She doesn’t need to be apologetic to “us” as in the general public. The only person she *may have* contributed harm to is the wife of the man, and for all you or I know she told the wife as soon as the story was going to break and the wife was happy that she went public because it pushed a bunch of OTHER people to expose his creeping. That’s only going to help the wife in the long run if she decides to divorce him or get a post nup. She doesn’t owe you an apology. She doesn’t owe me an apology. And the idea that we all have to get together and call her a “slut” and tell her to “keep her legs closed” even though she never did anything to harm us is literally taken from A Scarlet Letter.

Sumner is no Hester Prynne. Women that basically sell sex, especially White, educated (she evidently has a marketing degree) women with options are not helping the feminist cause. I agree that she doesn’t owe anyone an insincere apology.

Wait wait wait. The reason all the very angry people on this thread are calling her names they would discipline their teenage children for using is because they don’t consider her adequately feminist? That’s…literally insane. A feminist perspective would be to look at the lack of symmetrical name calling and vitriol targeted at the man in question and wonder how deep the societal misogyny goes— and this is even after the thread ostensibly acknowledge that he’s “more”’in the wrong.

At least in this corner of the internet she’s quite a lot like Hester Prynne: she hasn’t done a thing to anyone posting here but they need to freak out and call her names and complain she has no “shame” and hasn’t carried out her punishment correctly. It’s really a lot more telling about this group than it is about the woman in question.

Being a feminist doesn’t mean taking all the worst parts of the male gender and emulating them.

Somewhere along the way women began thinking feminist meant having affairs with other people’s spouses and rampant promiscuous sex.

How many straight/heterosexual men are selling their bodies on only fans or exploiting their sexuality to get ahead? Not using their brains, but getting paid for dic pics? I don’t believe Hester was selling her body for $ or trying to gain a book deal out of the affair she had.

Ok so you think that the problem is she’s making money. I read earlier on this thread that the story was going to break anyway via one of her friends— should she just have not exposed all of his creeping online so you wouldn’t feel like she was getting something out of it? Because it sounds like your objection isn’t about feminism it’s that you don’t want her to make money?

H. That was her version. The woman has built a career out of selling her body for $. If you pay $100 she will so sex acts for you to watch in the private room on only fans. This was a business move—get on a reality tv show like Tiger Woods OW or paid interview.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I noticed with the Adam Levine controversy that the super feminist take among younger millennials and Gen Z is to victimize the “other woman” and make the husband the sole perpetrator, including situations where the husband is famous and known to be married with kids. The husband IS most responsible for cheating on his wife, I agree with that. He’s the one who made promises he broke. But do women really not owe anything to other women anymore? It’s totally fine to be a side chick now , even when it’s publicly known that the wife has little kids at home?

I feel like I’m taking crazy pills watching all these young women fall all over themselves to defend that TikToker who had the affair with Adam Levine. I don’t care what lies he fed her, she knew he was married and she was an adult when their affair started. It’s interesting to me that it’s considered “unfeminist” to call her out for being a homewrecker or to tell her t9 shut her legs to married men. Why can’t two things be true at once? Adam Levine is a trash husband and I hope his wife leaves with half his fortune. But knowingly sleeping with married men is trash behavior too.

So is your thesis “we are not being adequately cruel as a society to a woman who exposed a man for cheating on his wife”? Are you afraid that the scarlet letter she embroidered for herself was too beautiful?

She wasn’t even apologetic though. I only watched 2 of her videos so idk, maybe she talks about being sorry somewhere else. But in the first two videos she released she makes herself out to be the victim when really the victim is the wife and kids. She knew he was married! What did she expect? The least she can do now is say she is sorry and regrets it.

She doesn’t need to be apologetic to “us” as in the general public. The only person she *may have* contributed harm to is the wife of the man, and for all you or I know she told the wife as soon as the story was going to break and the wife was happy that she went public because it pushed a bunch of OTHER people to expose his creeping. That’s only going to help the wife in the long run if she decides to divorce him or get a post nup. She doesn’t owe you an apology. She doesn’t owe me an apology. And the idea that we all have to get together and call her a “slut” and tell her to “keep her legs closed” even though she never did anything to harm us is literally taken from A Scarlet Letter.

Sumner is no Hester Prynne. Women that basically sell sex, especially White, educated (she evidently has a marketing degree) women with options are not helping the feminist cause. I agree that she doesn’t owe anyone an insincere apology.

Wait wait wait. The reason all the very angry people on this thread are calling her names they would discipline their teenage children for using is because they don’t consider her adequately feminist? That’s…literally insane. A feminist perspective would be to look at the lack of symmetrical name calling and vitriol targeted at the man in question and wonder how deep the societal misogyny goes— and this is even after the thread ostensibly acknowledge that he’s “more”’in the wrong.

At least in this corner of the internet she’s quite a lot like Hester Prynne: she hasn’t done a thing to anyone posting here but they need to freak out and call her names and complain she has no “shame” and hasn’t carried out her punishment correctly. It’s really a lot more telling about this group than it is about the woman in question.

Being a feminist doesn’t mean taking all the worst parts of the male gender and emulating them.

Somewhere along the way women began thinking feminist meant having affairs with other people’s spouses and rampant promiscuous sex.

How many straight/heterosexual men are selling their bodies on only fans or exploiting their sexuality to get ahead? Not using their brains, but getting paid for dic pics? I don’t believe Hester was selling her body for $ or trying to gain a book deal out of the affair she had.

Ok so you think that the problem is she’s making money. I read earlier on this thread that the story was going to break anyway via one of her friends— should she just have not exposed all of his creeping online so you wouldn’t feel like she was getting something out of it? Because it sounds like your objection isn’t about feminism it’s that you don’t want her to make money?

H. That was her version. The woman has built a career out of selling her body for $. If you pay $100 she will so sex acts for you to watch in the private room on only fans. This was a business move—get on a reality tv show like Tiger Woods OW or paid interview.

Oh and I think Adam Levine is repulsive and heinous for what he was doing behind his wife’s back too. Both people can be dishonorable some of the time depending on the situation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I noticed with the Adam Levine controversy that the super feminist take among younger millennials and Gen Z is to victimize the “other woman” and make the husband the sole perpetrator, including situations where the husband is famous and known to be married with kids. The husband IS most responsible for cheating on his wife, I agree with that. He’s the one who made promises he broke. But do women really not owe anything to other women anymore? It’s totally fine to be a side chick now , even when it’s publicly known that the wife has little kids at home?

I feel like I’m taking crazy pills watching all these young women fall all over themselves to defend that TikToker who had the affair with Adam Levine. I don’t care what lies he fed her, she knew he was married and she was an adult when their affair started. It’s interesting to me that it’s considered “unfeminist” to call her out for being a homewrecker or to tell her t9 shut her legs to married men. Why can’t two things be true at once? Adam Levine is a trash husband and I hope his wife leaves with half his fortune. But knowingly sleeping with married men is trash behavior too.

So is your thesis “we are not being adequately cruel as a society to a woman who exposed a man for cheating on his wife”? Are you afraid that the scarlet letter she embroidered for herself was too beautiful?

She wasn’t even apologetic though. I only watched 2 of her videos so idk, maybe she talks about being sorry somewhere else. But in the first two videos she released she makes herself out to be the victim when really the victim is the wife and kids. She knew he was married! What did she expect? The least she can do now is say she is sorry and regrets it.

She doesn’t need to be apologetic to “us” as in the general public. The only person she *may have* contributed harm to is the wife of the man, and for all you or I know she told the wife as soon as the story was going to break and the wife was happy that she went public because it pushed a bunch of OTHER people to expose his creeping. That’s only going to help the wife in the long run if she decides to divorce him or get a post nup. She doesn’t owe you an apology. She doesn’t owe me an apology. And the idea that we all have to get together and call her a “slut” and tell her to “keep her legs closed” even though she never did anything to harm us is literally taken from A Scarlet Letter.

Sumner is no Hester Prynne. Women that basically sell sex, especially White, educated (she evidently has a marketing degree) women with options are not helping the feminist cause. I agree that she doesn’t owe anyone an insincere apology.

Wait wait wait. The reason all the very angry people on this thread are calling her names they would discipline their teenage children for using is because they don’t consider her adequately feminist? That’s…literally insane. A feminist perspective would be to look at the lack of symmetrical name calling and vitriol targeted at the man in question and wonder how deep the societal misogyny goes— and this is even after the thread ostensibly acknowledge that he’s “more”’in the wrong.

At least in this corner of the internet she’s quite a lot like Hester Prynne: she hasn’t done a thing to anyone posting here but they need to freak out and call her names and complain she has no “shame” and hasn’t carried out her punishment correctly. It’s really a lot more telling about this group than it is about the woman in question.

Have you read the Internet? Listened to a talk show or late night television? Seen the memes? Levine is getting shredded. A giant huge mockery is being made of him, what he did and his ridiculous text messages. YES- people are tearing him apart. AND the Celtics head coach is taking way more heat in public opinion then his consensual married co-worker. It was a man that ratted him out. Men and women are condemning these cheating men, but that doesn’t fit your narrative I guess.

OK and that brings me back to my very first question on this thread— is the point of the thread to say that there has not been enough cruelty towards the woman in this situation and we need to immediately put her on a platform so the “virtuous” women can scream about her? Because they need to have that chance to scream about her?

Really it’s genuinely shocking to me to watch this because I bet a lot of these same women would tell their daughters not to call people sluts or trash but they have a real drive to make sure whatever the man did we not forget to shame the woman too. I will make the exception that in the very unlikely case his wife posts here, if she had a rant I’d think that was understandable.

PP you are fighting a valiant but useless fight on this site/subforum. There are a few posters who are so beyond hurt they cannot see any other shade of existence except their own, and they don't have the capacity for empathy. They are just swinging aimlessly at every thread and every poster.

Life, of course, is complicated. And the tradition of women get blamed is unfortunately alive and well.

You do realize there is a long tradition of blaming the wife for the guy’s cheating. She must have shortcomings or not be doing something for him. Oh- and if she chooses to reconcile she has no backbone and is a loser. She’s victimized twice. It’s why in the non-public world so many suffer in silence. They can’t confide in anyone and protect their kids from hateful gossip.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I noticed with the Adam Levine controversy that the super feminist take among younger millennials and Gen Z is to victimize the “other woman” and make the husband the sole perpetrator, including situations where the husband is famous and known to be married with kids. The husband IS most responsible for cheating on his wife, I agree with that. He’s the one who made promises he broke. But do women really not owe anything to other women anymore? It’s totally fine to be a side chick now , even when it’s publicly known that the wife has little kids at home?

I feel like I’m taking crazy pills watching all these young women fall all over themselves to defend that TikToker who had the affair with Adam Levine. I don’t care what lies he fed her, she knew he was married and she was an adult when their affair started. It’s interesting to me that it’s considered “unfeminist” to call her out for being a homewrecker or to tell her t9 shut her legs to married men. Why can’t two things be true at once? Adam Levine is a trash husband and I hope his wife leaves with half his fortune. But knowingly sleeping with married men is trash behavior too.

So is your thesis “we are not being adequately cruel as a society to a woman who exposed a man for cheating on his wife”? Are you afraid that the scarlet letter she embroidered for herself was too beautiful?

She wasn’t even apologetic though. I only watched 2 of her videos so idk, maybe she talks about being sorry somewhere else. But in the first two videos she released she makes herself out to be the victim when really the victim is the wife and kids. She knew he was married! What did she expect? The least she can do now is say she is sorry and regrets it.

She doesn’t need to be apologetic to “us” as in the general public. The only person she *may have* contributed harm to is the wife of the man, and for all you or I know she told the wife as soon as the story was going to break and the wife was happy that she went public because it pushed a bunch of OTHER people to expose his creeping. That’s only going to help the wife in the long run if she decides to divorce him or get a post nup. She doesn’t owe you an apology. She doesn’t owe me an apology. And the idea that we all have to get together and call her a “slut” and tell her to “keep her legs closed” even though she never did anything to harm us is literally taken from A Scarlet Letter.

Sumner is no Hester Prynne. Women that basically sell sex, especially White, educated (she evidently has a marketing degree) women with options are not helping the feminist cause. I agree that she doesn’t owe anyone an insincere apology.

Wait wait wait. The reason all the very angry people on this thread are calling her names they would discipline their teenage children for using is because they don’t consider her adequately feminist? That’s…literally insane. A feminist perspective would be to look at the lack of symmetrical name calling and vitriol targeted at the man in question and wonder how deep the societal misogyny goes— and this is even after the thread ostensibly acknowledge that he’s “more”’in the wrong.

At least in this corner of the internet she’s quite a lot like Hester Prynne: she hasn’t done a thing to anyone posting here but they need to freak out and call her names and complain she has no “shame” and hasn’t carried out her punishment correctly. It’s really a lot more telling about this group than it is about the woman in question.

Being a feminist doesn’t mean taking all the worst parts of the male gender and emulating them.

Somewhere along the way women began thinking feminist meant having affairs with other people’s spouses and rampant promiscuous sex.

How many straight/heterosexual men are selling their bodies on only fans or exploiting their sexuality to get ahead? Not using their brains, but getting paid for dic pics? I don’t believe Hester was selling her body for $ or trying to gain a book deal out of the affair she had.

Ok so you think that the problem is she’s making money. I read earlier on this thread that the story was going to break anyway via one of her friends— should she just have not exposed all of his creeping online so you wouldn’t feel like she was getting something out of it? Because it sounds like your objection isn’t about feminism it’s that you don’t want her to make money?

H. That was her version. The woman has built a career out of selling her body for $. If you pay $100 she will so sex acts for you to watch in the private room on only fans. This was a business move—get on a reality tv show like Tiger Woods OW or paid interview.

Agree. Wrong woman to have as the OW poster child. What they did too Monica was awful. This is not that.