Thoughts on the “other woman”?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I noticed with the Adam Levine controversy that the super feminist take among younger millennials and Gen Z is to victimize the “other woman” and make the husband the sole perpetrator, including situations where the husband is famous and known to be married with kids. The husband IS most responsible for cheating on his wife, I agree with that. He’s the one who made promises he broke. But do women really not owe anything to other women anymore? It’s totally fine to be a side chick now , even when it’s publicly known that the wife has little kids at home?

I feel like I’m taking crazy pills watching all these young women fall all over themselves to defend that TikToker who had the affair with Adam Levine. I don’t care what lies he fed her, she knew he was married and she was an adult when their affair started. It’s interesting to me that it’s considered “unfeminist” to call her out for being a homewrecker or to tell her t9 shut her legs to married men. Why can’t two things be true at once? Adam Levine is a trash husband and I hope his wife leaves with half his fortune. But knowingly sleeping with married men is trash behavior too.

So is your thesis “we are not being adequately cruel as a society to a woman who exposed a man for cheating on his wife”? Are you afraid that the scarlet letter she embroidered for herself was too beautiful?

She wasn’t even apologetic though. I only watched 2 of her videos so idk, maybe she talks about being sorry somewhere else. But in the first two videos she released she makes herself out to be the victim when really the victim is the wife and kids. She knew he was married! What did she expect? The least she can do now is say she is sorry and regrets it.

She doesn’t need to be apologetic to “us” as in the general public. The only person she *may have* contributed harm to is the wife of the man, and for all you or I know she told the wife as soon as the story was going to break and the wife was happy that she went public because it pushed a bunch of OTHER people to expose his creeping. That’s only going to help the wife in the long run if she decides to divorce him or get a post nup. She doesn’t owe you an apology. She doesn’t owe me an apology. And the idea that we all have to get together and call her a “slut” and tell her to “keep her legs closed” even though she never did anything to harm us is literally taken from A Scarlet Letter.

Sumner is no Hester Prynne. Women that basically sell sex, especially White, educated (she evidently has a marketing degree) women with options are not helping the feminist cause. I agree that she doesn’t owe anyone an insincere apology.

Wait wait wait. The reason all the very angry people on this thread are calling her names they would discipline their teenage children for using is because they don’t consider her adequately feminist? That’s…literally insane. A feminist perspective would be to look at the lack of symmetrical name calling and vitriol targeted at the man in question and wonder how deep the societal misogyny goes— and this is even after the thread ostensibly acknowledge that he’s “more”’in the wrong.

At least in this corner of the internet she’s quite a lot like Hester Prynne: she hasn’t done a thing to anyone posting here but they need to freak out and call her names and complain she has no “shame” and hasn’t carried out her punishment correctly. It’s really a lot more telling about this group than it is about the woman in question.

Have you read the Internet? Listened to a talk show or late night television? Seen the memes? Levine is getting shredded. A giant huge mockery is being made of him, what he did and his ridiculous text messages. YES- people are tearing him apart. AND the Celtics head coach is taking way more heat in public opinion then his consensual married co-worker. It was a man that ratted him out. Men and women are condemning these cheating men, but that doesn’t fit your narrative I guess.

OK and that brings me back to my very first question on this thread— is the point of the thread to say that there has not been enough cruelty towards the woman in this situation and we need to immediately put her on a platform so the “virtuous” women can scream about her? Because they need to have that chance to scream about her?

Really it’s genuinely shocking to me to watch this because I bet a lot of these same women would tell their daughters not to call people sluts or trash but they have a real drive to make sure whatever the man did we not forget to shame the woman too. I will make the exception that in the very unlikely case his wife posts here, if she had a rant I’d think that was understandable.

PP you are fighting a valiant but useless fight on this site/subforum. There are a few posters who are so beyond hurt they cannot see any other shade of existence except their own, and they don't have the capacity for empathy. They are just swinging aimlessly at every thread and every poster.

Life, of course, is complicated. And the tradition of women get blamed is unfortunately alive and well.

You do realize there is a long tradition of blaming the wife for the guy’s cheating. She must have shortcomings or not be doing something for him. Oh- and if she chooses to reconcile she has no backbone and is a loser. She’s victimized twice. It’s why in the non-public world so many suffer in silence. They can’t confide in anyone and protect their kids from hateful gossip.

It’s her fault she picked him. That’s a biggie too, even though many are love bombing narcissists in these women were in their 20s when they met.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I noticed with the Adam Levine controversy that the super feminist take among younger millennials and Gen Z is to victimize the “other woman” and make the husband the sole perpetrator, including situations where the husband is famous and known to be married with kids. The husband IS most responsible for cheating on his wife, I agree with that. He’s the one who made promises he broke. But do women really not owe anything to other women anymore? It’s totally fine to be a side chick now , even when it’s publicly known that the wife has little kids at home?

I feel like I’m taking crazy pills watching all these young women fall all over themselves to defend that TikToker who had the affair with Adam Levine. I don’t care what lies he fed her, she knew he was married and she was an adult when their affair started. It’s interesting to me that it’s considered “unfeminist” to call her out for being a homewrecker or to tell her t9 shut her legs to married men. Why can’t two things be true at once? Adam Levine is a trash husband and I hope his wife leaves with half his fortune. But knowingly sleeping with married men is trash behavior too.

So is your thesis “we are not being adequately cruel as a society to a woman who exposed a man for cheating on his wife”? Are you afraid that the scarlet letter she embroidered for herself was too beautiful?

She wasn’t even apologetic though. I only watched 2 of her videos so idk, maybe she talks about being sorry somewhere else. But in the first two videos she released she makes herself out to be the victim when really the victim is the wife and kids. She knew he was married! What did she expect? The least she can do now is say she is sorry and regrets it.

She doesn’t need to be apologetic to “us” as in the general public. The only person she *may have* contributed harm to is the wife of the man, and for all you or I know she told the wife as soon as the story was going to break and the wife was happy that she went public because it pushed a bunch of OTHER people to expose his creeping. That’s only going to help the wife in the long run if she decides to divorce him or get a post nup. She doesn’t owe you an apology. She doesn’t owe me an apology. And the idea that we all have to get together and call her a “slut” and tell her to “keep her legs closed” even though she never did anything to harm us is literally taken from A Scarlet Letter.

Sumner is no Hester Prynne. Women that basically sell sex, especially White, educated (she evidently has a marketing degree) women with options are not helping the feminist cause. I agree that she doesn’t owe anyone an insincere apology.

Wait wait wait. The reason all the very angry people on this thread are calling her names they would discipline their teenage children for using is because they don’t consider her adequately feminist? That’s…literally insane. A feminist perspective would be to look at the lack of symmetrical name calling and vitriol targeted at the man in question and wonder how deep the societal misogyny goes— and this is even after the thread ostensibly acknowledge that he’s “more”’in the wrong.

At least in this corner of the internet she’s quite a lot like Hester Prynne: she hasn’t done a thing to anyone posting here but they need to freak out and call her names and complain she has no “shame” and hasn’t carried out her punishment correctly. It’s really a lot more telling about this group than it is about the woman in question.

Have you read the Internet? Listened to a talk show or late night television? Seen the memes? Levine is getting shredded. A giant huge mockery is being made of him, what he did and his ridiculous text messages. YES- people are tearing him apart. AND the Celtics head coach is taking way more heat in public opinion then his consensual married co-worker. It was a man that ratted him out. Men and women are condemning these cheating men, but that doesn’t fit your narrative I guess.

OK and that brings me back to my very first question on this thread— is the point of the thread to say that there has not been enough cruelty towards the woman in this situation and we need to immediately put her on a platform so the “virtuous” women can scream about her? Because they need to have that chance to scream about her?

Really it’s genuinely shocking to me to watch this because I bet a lot of these same women would tell their daughters not to call people sluts or trash but they have a real drive to make sure whatever the man did we not forget to shame the woman too. I will make the exception that in the very unlikely case his wife posts here, if she had a rant I’d think that was understandable.

PP you are fighting a valiant but useless fight on this site/subforum. There are a few posters who are so beyond hurt they cannot see any other shade of existence except their own, and they don't have the capacity for empathy. They are just swinging aimlessly at every thread and every poster.

Life, of course, is complicated. And the tradition of women get blamed is unfortunately alive and well.

You do realize there is a long tradition of blaming the wife for the guy’s cheating. She must have shortcomings or not be doing something for him. Oh- and if she chooses to reconcile she has no backbone and is a loser. She’s victimized twice. It’s why in the non-public world so many suffer in silence. They can’t confide in anyone and protect their kids from hateful gossip.

It’s her fault she picked him. That’s a biggie too, even though many are love bombing narcissists in these women were in their 20s when they met.

Yeah. There is an OW on this thread that says “his wife is a bad person and bad parent” so it’s ok she cheats on her husband with her co-worker. It’s like the woman that said the OW that didn’t know her trashed her all over the college campus.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I noticed with the Adam Levine controversy that the super feminist take among younger millennials and Gen Z is to victimize the “other woman” and make the husband the sole perpetrator, including situations where the husband is famous and known to be married with kids. The husband IS most responsible for cheating on his wife, I agree with that. He’s the one who made promises he broke. But do women really not owe anything to other women anymore? It’s totally fine to be a side chick now , even when it’s publicly known that the wife has little kids at home?

I feel like I’m taking crazy pills watching all these young women fall all over themselves to defend that TikToker who had the affair with Adam Levine. I don’t care what lies he fed her, she knew he was married and she was an adult when their affair started. It’s interesting to me that it’s considered “unfeminist” to call her out for being a homewrecker or to tell her t9 shut her legs to married men. Why can’t two things be true at once? Adam Levine is a trash husband and I hope his wife leaves with half his fortune. But knowingly sleeping with married men is trash behavior too.

So is your thesis “we are not being adequately cruel as a society to a woman who exposed a man for cheating on his wife”? Are you afraid that the scarlet letter she embroidered for herself was too beautiful?

She wasn’t even apologetic though. I only watched 2 of her videos so idk, maybe she talks about being sorry somewhere else. But in the first two videos she released she makes herself out to be the victim when really the victim is the wife and kids. She knew he was married! What did she expect? The least she can do now is say she is sorry and regrets it.

She doesn’t need to be apologetic to “us” as in the general public. The only person she *may have* contributed harm to is the wife of the man, and for all you or I know she told the wife as soon as the story was going to break and the wife was happy that she went public because it pushed a bunch of OTHER people to expose his creeping. That’s only going to help the wife in the long run if she decides to divorce him or get a post nup. She doesn’t owe you an apology. She doesn’t owe me an apology. And the idea that we all have to get together and call her a “slut” and tell her to “keep her legs closed” even though she never did anything to harm us is literally taken from A Scarlet Letter.

Sumner is no Hester Prynne. Women that basically sell sex, especially White, educated (she evidently has a marketing degree) women with options are not helping the feminist cause. I agree that she doesn’t owe anyone an insincere apology.

Wait wait wait. The reason all the very angry people on this thread are calling her names they would discipline their teenage children for using is because they don’t consider her adequately feminist? That’s…literally insane. A feminist perspective would be to look at the lack of symmetrical name calling and vitriol targeted at the man in question and wonder how deep the societal misogyny goes— and this is even after the thread ostensibly acknowledge that he’s “more”’in the wrong.

At least in this corner of the internet she’s quite a lot like Hester Prynne: she hasn’t done a thing to anyone posting here but they need to freak out and call her names and complain she has no “shame” and hasn’t carried out her punishment correctly. It’s really a lot more telling about this group than it is about the woman in question.

Being a feminist doesn’t mean taking all the worst parts of the male gender and emulating them.

Somewhere along the way women began thinking feminist meant having affairs with other people’s spouses and rampant promiscuous sex.

How many straight/heterosexual men are selling their bodies on only fans or exploiting their sexuality to get ahead? Not using their brains, but getting paid for dic pics? I don’t believe Hester was selling her body for $ or trying to gain a book deal out of the affair she had.

Ok so you think that the problem is she’s making money. I read earlier on this thread that the story was going to break anyway via one of her friends— should she just have not exposed all of his creeping online so you wouldn’t feel like she was getting something out of it? Because it sounds like your objection isn’t about feminism it’s that you don’t want her to make money?

H. That was her version. The woman has built a career out of selling her body for $. If you pay $100 she will so sex acts for you to watch in the private room on only fans. This was a business move—get on a reality tv show like Tiger Woods OW or paid interview.

Agree. Wrong woman to have as the OW poster child. What they did too Monica was awful. This is not that.

It’s hard to feel sorry for people that invite it and then “act” the victim all
While trying to drive up their Only Fans subscribers.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:I don’t blame the other woman. She is irrelevant. Men or spouses aren’t property. They have a brain and their own free will. It is up to them alone (and with their spouse) to keep their marriage intact

You sound dumb. It's takes two to have a relationship so how is she irrelevant when she's the other party in the relationship w/a married man? Does she become relevant if she gives the husband an STD? Is she relevant is she gets pregnant and suddenly your children have a new sibling? Or when he decides he wants to leave his wife and then your children are spending half their time at this woman's place with their dad? Clearly the husband is at fault, clearly he made the commitment, but too many women are willing to entangle themselves and ultimately have a hand in wrecking lives.

I can tell you this, the betrayed wife will never forget the OW. She has created mental trauma in another woman—and often her kids. You think it doesn’t matter. Sure- it wasn’t a big deal. The wife will remember everything about the OW and her image will be seared on her brain, not in a good way. The rest of the OW’s life she has invited all kinds of negative energy her way. It is so crazy to have the mindset that contributing to an innocent person’s anguish and trauma is not partly on you. Mental gymnastics are big on the cheating game for both parties.

I do believe if you keep putting bad out in the universe and knowingly harming other people, being dishonest, lacking integrity, it eventually catches up with you. Not necessarily karma per se, but going through life participating in things you know will cause great anguish in someone else will eventually bite you.

This is something people who perceive themselves as noble victims tell themselves.

Oh, and how do they know it's not something biting THEM? Probably, the other woman is THEIR punishment for things they've done to other people.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I noticed with the Adam Levine controversy that the super feminist take among younger millennials and Gen Z is to victimize the “other woman” and make the husband the sole perpetrator, including situations where the husband is famous and known to be married with kids. The husband IS most responsible for cheating on his wife, I agree with that. He’s the one who made promises he broke. But do women really not owe anything to other women anymore? It’s totally fine to be a side chick now , even when it’s publicly known that the wife has little kids at home?

I feel like I’m taking crazy pills watching all these young women fall all over themselves to defend that TikToker who had the affair with Adam Levine. I don’t care what lies he fed her, she knew he was married and she was an adult when their affair started. It’s interesting to me that it’s considered “unfeminist” to call her out for being a homewrecker or to tell her t9 shut her legs to married men. Why can’t two things be true at once? Adam Levine is a trash husband and I hope his wife leaves with half his fortune. But knowingly sleeping with married men is trash behavior too.

So is your thesis “we are not being adequately cruel as a society to a woman who exposed a man for cheating on his wife”? Are you afraid that the scarlet letter she embroidered for herself was too beautiful?

She wasn’t even apologetic though. I only watched 2 of her videos so idk, maybe she talks about being sorry somewhere else. But in the first two videos she released she makes herself out to be the victim when really the victim is the wife and kids. She knew he was married! What did she expect? The least she can do now is say she is sorry and regrets it.

She doesn’t need to be apologetic to “us” as in the general public. The only person she *may have* contributed harm to is the wife of the man, and for all you or I know she told the wife as soon as the story was going to break and the wife was happy that she went public because it pushed a bunch of OTHER people to expose his creeping. That’s only going to help the wife in the long run if she decides to divorce him or get a post nup. She doesn’t owe you an apology. She doesn’t owe me an apology. And the idea that we all have to get together and call her a “slut” and tell her to “keep her legs closed” even though she never did anything to harm us is literally taken from A Scarlet Letter.

Sumner is no Hester Prynne. Women that basically sell sex, especially White, educated (she evidently has a marketing degree) women with options are not helping the feminist cause. I agree that she doesn’t owe anyone an insincere apology.

Wait wait wait. The reason all the very angry people on this thread are calling her names they would discipline their teenage children for using is because they don’t consider her adequately feminist? That’s…literally insane. A feminist perspective would be to look at the lack of symmetrical name calling and vitriol targeted at the man in question and wonder how deep the societal misogyny goes— and this is even after the thread ostensibly acknowledge that he’s “more”’in the wrong.

At least in this corner of the internet she’s quite a lot like Hester Prynne: she hasn’t done a thing to anyone posting here but they need to freak out and call her names and complain she has no “shame” and hasn’t carried out her punishment correctly. It’s really a lot more telling about this group than it is about the woman in question.

Have you read the Internet? Listened to a talk show or late night television? Seen the memes? Levine is getting shredded. A giant huge mockery is being made of him, what he did and his ridiculous text messages. YES- people are tearing him apart. AND the Celtics head coach is taking way more heat in public opinion then his consensual married co-worker. It was a man that ratted him out. Men and women are condemning these cheating men, but that doesn’t fit your narrative I guess.

OK and that brings me back to my very first question on this thread— is the point of the thread to say that there has not been enough cruelty towards the woman in this situation and we need to immediately put her on a platform so the “virtuous” women can scream about her? Because they need to have that chance to scream about her?

Really it’s genuinely shocking to me to watch this because I bet a lot of these same women would tell their daughters not to call people sluts or trash but they have a real drive to make sure whatever the man did we not forget to shame the woman too. I will make the exception that in the very unlikely case his wife posts here, if she had a rant I’d think that was understandable.

PP you are fighting a valiant but useless fight on this site/subforum. There are a few posters who are so beyond hurt they cannot see any other shade of existence except their own, and they don't have the capacity for empathy. They are just swinging aimlessly at every thread and every poster.

Life, of course, is complicated. And the tradition of women get blamed is unfortunately alive and well.

You do realize there is a long tradition of blaming the wife for the guy’s cheating. She must have shortcomings or not be doing something for him. Oh- and if she chooses to reconcile she has no backbone and is a loser. She’s victimized twice. It’s why in the non-public world so many suffer in silence. They can’t confide in anyone and protect their kids from hateful gossip.

I'm the PP you're responding to. Yes I realize that and would never blame the wife (well wouldn't get involved because it's not my relationship and it's impossible to know anything from the outside unless she was a close friend and told me). But this thread is a vengeful to blame another woman just for kicks.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I noticed with the Adam Levine controversy that the super feminist take among younger millennials and Gen Z is to victimize the “other woman” and make the husband the sole perpetrator, including situations where the husband is famous and known to be married with kids. The husband IS most responsible for cheating on his wife, I agree with that. He’s the one who made promises he broke. But do women really not owe anything to other women anymore? It’s totally fine to be a side chick now , even when it’s publicly known that the wife has little kids at home?

I feel like I’m taking crazy pills watching all these young women fall all over themselves to defend that TikToker who had the affair with Adam Levine. I don’t care what lies he fed her, she knew he was married and she was an adult when their affair started. It’s interesting to me that it’s considered “unfeminist” to call her out for being a homewrecker or to tell her t9 shut her legs to married men. Why can’t two things be true at once? Adam Levine is a trash husband and I hope his wife leaves with half his fortune. But knowingly sleeping with married men is trash behavior too.

So is your thesis “we are not being adequately cruel as a society to a woman who exposed a man for cheating on his wife”? Are you afraid that the scarlet letter she embroidered for herself was too beautiful?

She wasn’t even apologetic though. I only watched 2 of her videos so idk, maybe she talks about being sorry somewhere else. But in the first two videos she released she makes herself out to be the victim when really the victim is the wife and kids. She knew he was married! What did she expect? The least she can do now is say she is sorry and regrets it.

She doesn’t need to be apologetic to “us” as in the general public. The only person she *may have* contributed harm to is the wife of the man, and for all you or I know she told the wife as soon as the story was going to break and the wife was happy that she went public because it pushed a bunch of OTHER people to expose his creeping. That’s only going to help the wife in the long run if she decides to divorce him or get a post nup. She doesn’t owe you an apology. She doesn’t owe me an apology. And the idea that we all have to get together and call her a “slut” and tell her to “keep her legs closed” even though she never did anything to harm us is literally taken from A Scarlet Letter.

Sumner is no Hester Prynne. Women that basically sell sex, especially White, educated (she evidently has a marketing degree) women with options are not helping the feminist cause. I agree that she doesn’t owe anyone an insincere apology.

Wait wait wait. The reason all the very angry people on this thread are calling her names they would discipline their teenage children for using is because they don’t consider her adequately feminist? That’s…literally insane. A feminist perspective would be to look at the lack of symmetrical name calling and vitriol targeted at the man in question and wonder how deep the societal misogyny goes— and this is even after the thread ostensibly acknowledge that he’s “more”’in the wrong.

At least in this corner of the internet she’s quite a lot like Hester Prynne: she hasn’t done a thing to anyone posting here but they need to freak out and call her names and complain she has no “shame” and hasn’t carried out her punishment correctly. It’s really a lot more telling about this group than it is about the woman in question.

Have you read the Internet? Listened to a talk show or late night television? Seen the memes? Levine is getting shredded. A giant huge mockery is being made of him, what he did and his ridiculous text messages. YES- people are tearing him apart. AND the Celtics head coach is taking way more heat in public opinion then his consensual married co-worker. It was a man that ratted him out. Men and women are condemning these cheating men, but that doesn’t fit your narrative I guess.

OK and that brings me back to my very first question on this thread— is the point of the thread to say that there has not been enough cruelty towards the woman in this situation and we need to immediately put her on a platform so the “virtuous” women can scream about her? Because they need to have that chance to scream about her?

Really it’s genuinely shocking to me to watch this because I bet a lot of these same women would tell their daughters not to call people sluts or trash but they have a real drive to make sure whatever the man did we not forget to shame the woman too. I will make the exception that in the very unlikely case his wife posts here, if she had a rant I’d think that was understandable.

I think most of the posters on this and other "Other woman" threads have been through a serious trauma and are not rational. I wish healing for you all. (Hating the other woman won't get you there.)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I noticed with the Adam Levine controversy that the super feminist take among younger millennials and Gen Z is to victimize the “other woman” and make the husband the sole perpetrator, including situations where the husband is famous and known to be married with kids. The husband IS most responsible for cheating on his wife, I agree with that. He’s the one who made promises he broke. But do women really not owe anything to other women anymore? It’s totally fine to be a side chick now , even when it’s publicly known that the wife has little kids at home?

I feel like I’m taking crazy pills watching all these young women fall all over themselves to defend that TikToker who had the affair with Adam Levine. I don’t care what lies he fed her, she knew he was married and she was an adult when their affair started. It’s interesting to me that it’s considered “unfeminist” to call her out for being a homewrecker or to tell her t9 shut her legs to married men. Why can’t two things be true at once? Adam Levine is a trash husband and I hope his wife leaves with half his fortune. But knowingly sleeping with married men is trash behavior too.

So is your thesis “we are not being adequately cruel as a society to a woman who exposed a man for cheating on his wife”? Are you afraid that the scarlet letter she embroidered for herself was too beautiful?

She wasn’t even apologetic though. I only watched 2 of her videos so idk, maybe she talks about being sorry somewhere else. But in the first two videos she released she makes herself out to be the victim when really the victim is the wife and kids. She knew he was married! What did she expect? The least she can do now is say she is sorry and regrets it.

She doesn’t need to be apologetic to “us” as in the general public. The only person she *may have* contributed harm to is the wife of the man, and for all you or I know she told the wife as soon as the story was going to break and the wife was happy that she went public because it pushed a bunch of OTHER people to expose his creeping. That’s only going to help the wife in the long run if she decides to divorce him or get a post nup. She doesn’t owe you an apology. She doesn’t owe me an apology. And the idea that we all have to get together and call her a “slut” and tell her to “keep her legs closed” even though she never did anything to harm us is literally taken from A Scarlet Letter.

Sumner is no Hester Prynne. Women that basically sell sex, especially White, educated (she evidently has a marketing degree) women with options are not helping the feminist cause. I agree that she doesn’t owe anyone an insincere apology.

Wait wait wait. The reason all the very angry people on this thread are calling her names they would discipline their teenage children for using is because they don’t consider her adequately feminist? That’s…literally insane. A feminist perspective would be to look at the lack of symmetrical name calling and vitriol targeted at the man in question and wonder how deep the societal misogyny goes— and this is even after the thread ostensibly acknowledge that he’s “more”’in the wrong.

At least in this corner of the internet she’s quite a lot like Hester Prynne: she hasn’t done a thing to anyone posting here but they need to freak out and call her names and complain she has no “shame” and hasn’t carried out her punishment correctly. It’s really a lot more telling about this group than it is about the woman in question.

Being a feminist doesn’t mean taking all the worst parts of the male gender and emulating them.

Somewhere along the way women began thinking feminist meant having affairs with other people’s spouses and rampant promiscuous sex.

How many straight/heterosexual men are selling their bodies on only fans or exploiting their sexuality to get ahead? Not using their brains, but getting paid for dic pics? I don’t believe Hester was selling her body for $ or trying to gain a book deal out of the affair she had.

Ok so you think that the problem is she’s making money. I read earlier on this thread that the story was going to break anyway via one of her friends— should she just have not exposed all of his creeping online so you wouldn’t feel like she was getting something out of it? Because it sounds like your objection isn’t about feminism it’s that you don’t want her to make money?

H. That was her version. The woman has built a career out of selling her body for $. If you pay $100 she will so sex acts for you to watch in the private room on only fans. This was a business move—get on a reality tv show like Tiger Woods OW or paid interview.

So he was caught with a prostitute, not caught having an affair.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I noticed with the Adam Levine controversy that the super feminist take among younger millennials and Gen Z is to victimize the “other woman” and make the husband the sole perpetrator, including situations where the husband is famous and known to be married with kids. The husband IS most responsible for cheating on his wife, I agree with that. He’s the one who made promises he broke. But do women really not owe anything to other women anymore? It’s totally fine to be a side chick now , even when it’s publicly known that the wife has little kids at home?

I feel like I’m taking crazy pills watching all these young women fall all over themselves to defend that TikToker who had the affair with Adam Levine. I don’t care what lies he fed her, she knew he was married and she was an adult when their affair started. It’s interesting to me that it’s considered “unfeminist” to call her out for being a homewrecker or to tell her t9 shut her legs to married men. Why can’t two things be true at once? Adam Levine is a trash husband and I hope his wife leaves with half his fortune. But knowingly sleeping with married men is trash behavior too.

So is your thesis “we are not being adequately cruel as a society to a woman who exposed a man for cheating on his wife”? Are you afraid that the scarlet letter she embroidered for herself was too beautiful?

She wasn’t even apologetic though. I only watched 2 of her videos so idk, maybe she talks about being sorry somewhere else. But in the first two videos she released she makes herself out to be the victim when really the victim is the wife and kids. She knew he was married! What did she expect? The least she can do now is say she is sorry and regrets it.

She doesn’t need to be apologetic to “us” as in the general public. The only person she *may have* contributed harm to is the wife of the man, and for all you or I know she told the wife as soon as the story was going to break and the wife was happy that she went public because it pushed a bunch of OTHER people to expose his creeping. That’s only going to help the wife in the long run if she decides to divorce him or get a post nup. She doesn’t owe you an apology. She doesn’t owe me an apology. And the idea that we all have to get together and call her a “slut” and tell her to “keep her legs closed” even though she never did anything to harm us is literally taken from A Scarlet Letter.

Sumner is no Hester Prynne. Women that basically sell sex, especially White, educated (she evidently has a marketing degree) women with options are not helping the feminist cause. I agree that she doesn’t owe anyone an insincere apology.

Wait wait wait. The reason all the very angry people on this thread are calling her names they would discipline their teenage children for using is because they don’t consider her adequately feminist? That’s…literally insane. A feminist perspective would be to look at the lack of symmetrical name calling and vitriol targeted at the man in question and wonder how deep the societal misogyny goes— and this is even after the thread ostensibly acknowledge that he’s “more”’in the wrong.

At least in this corner of the internet she’s quite a lot like Hester Prynne: she hasn’t done a thing to anyone posting here but they need to freak out and call her names and complain she has no “shame” and hasn’t carried out her punishment correctly. It’s really a lot more telling about this group than it is about the woman in question.

Being a feminist doesn’t mean taking all the worst parts of the male gender and emulating them.

Somewhere along the way women began thinking feminist meant having affairs with other people’s spouses and rampant promiscuous sex.

How many straight/heterosexual men are selling their bodies on only fans or exploiting their sexuality to get ahead? Not using their brains, but getting paid for dic pics? I don’t believe Hester was selling her body for $ or trying to gain a book deal out of the affair she had.

Ok so you think that the problem is she’s making money. I read earlier on this thread that the story was going to break anyway via one of her friends— should she just have not exposed all of his creeping online so you wouldn’t feel like she was getting something out of it? Because it sounds like your objection isn’t about feminism it’s that you don’t want her to make money?

H. That was her version. The woman has built a career out of selling her body for $. If you pay $100 she will so sex acts for you to watch in the private room on only fans. This was a business move—get on a reality tv show like Tiger Woods OW or paid interview.

Agree. Wrong woman to have as the OW poster child. What they did too Monica was awful. This is not that.

It’s hard to feel sorry for people that invite it and then “act” the victim all
While trying to drive up their Only Fans subscribers.

I see a lot of distance between “I don’t feel sorry for her” and “I am going to post vitriol about her on a message board because it makes me feel good”

Levine will leave this situation with plenty of money. Why are you so interested in ensuring she is poor? Why does that matter to you?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I noticed with the Adam Levine controversy that the super feminist take among younger millennials and Gen Z is to victimize the “other woman” and make the husband the sole perpetrator, including situations where the husband is famous and known to be married with kids. The husband IS most responsible for cheating on his wife, I agree with that. He’s the one who made promises he broke. But do women really not owe anything to other women anymore? It’s totally fine to be a side chick now , even when it’s publicly known that the wife has little kids at home?

I feel like I’m taking crazy pills watching all these young women fall all over themselves to defend that TikToker who had the affair with Adam Levine. I don’t care what lies he fed her, she knew he was married and she was an adult when their affair started. It’s interesting to me that it’s considered “unfeminist” to call her out for being a homewrecker or to tell her t9 shut her legs to married men. Why can’t two things be true at once? Adam Levine is a trash husband and I hope his wife leaves with half his fortune. But knowingly sleeping with married men is trash behavior too.

So is your thesis “we are not being adequately cruel as a society to a woman who exposed a man for cheating on his wife”? Are you afraid that the scarlet letter she embroidered for herself was too beautiful?

She wasn’t even apologetic though. I only watched 2 of her videos so idk, maybe she talks about being sorry somewhere else. But in the first two videos she released she makes herself out to be the victim when really the victim is the wife and kids. She knew he was married! What did she expect? The least she can do now is say she is sorry and regrets it.

She doesn’t need to be apologetic to “us” as in the general public. The only person she *may have* contributed harm to is the wife of the man, and for all you or I know she told the wife as soon as the story was going to break and the wife was happy that she went public because it pushed a bunch of OTHER people to expose his creeping. That’s only going to help the wife in the long run if she decides to divorce him or get a post nup. She doesn’t owe you an apology. She doesn’t owe me an apology. And the idea that we all have to get together and call her a “slut” and tell her to “keep her legs closed” even though she never did anything to harm us is literally taken from A Scarlet Letter.

Sumner is no Hester Prynne. Women that basically sell sex, especially White, educated (she evidently has a marketing degree) women with options are not helping the feminist cause. I agree that she doesn’t owe anyone an insincere apology.

Wait wait wait. The reason all the very angry people on this thread are calling her names they would discipline their teenage children for using is because they don’t consider her adequately feminist? That’s…literally insane. A feminist perspective would be to look at the lack of symmetrical name calling and vitriol targeted at the man in question and wonder how deep the societal misogyny goes— and this is even after the thread ostensibly acknowledge that he’s “more”’in the wrong.

At least in this corner of the internet she’s quite a lot like Hester Prynne: she hasn’t done a thing to anyone posting here but they need to freak out and call her names and complain she has no “shame” and hasn’t carried out her punishment correctly. It’s really a lot more telling about this group than it is about the woman in question.

Have you read the Internet? Listened to a talk show or late night television? Seen the memes? Levine is getting shredded. A giant huge mockery is being made of him, what he did and his ridiculous text messages. YES- people are tearing him apart. AND the Celtics head coach is taking way more heat in public opinion then his consensual married co-worker. It was a man that ratted him out. Men and women are condemning these cheating men, but that doesn’t fit your narrative I guess.

OK and that brings me back to my very first question on this thread— is the point of the thread to say that there has not been enough cruelty towards the woman in this situation and we need to immediately put her on a platform so the “virtuous” women can scream about her? Because they need to have that chance to scream about her?

Really it’s genuinely shocking to me to watch this because I bet a lot of these same women would tell their daughters not to call people sluts or trash but they have a real drive to make sure whatever the man did we not forget to shame the woman too. I will make the exception that in the very unlikely case his wife posts here, if she had a rant I’d think that was understandable.

PP you are fighting a valiant but useless fight on this site/subforum. There are a few posters who are so beyond hurt they cannot see any other shade of existence except their own, and they don't have the capacity for empathy. They are just swinging aimlessly at every thread and every poster.

Life, of course, is complicated. And the tradition of women get blamed is unfortunately alive and well.

You do realize there is a long tradition of blaming the wife for the guy’s cheating. She must have shortcomings or not be doing something for him. Oh- and if she chooses to reconcile she has no backbone and is a loser. She’s victimized twice. It’s why in the non-public world so many suffer in silence. They can’t confide in anyone and protect their kids from hateful gossip.

Yes I do realize this. It’s almost as though women in our society are blamed for the behavior of men in our society, and that women police the behavior of other women to a degree the behavior of men is not policed at all. Recognizing that I try not to participate.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I noticed with the Adam Levine controversy that the super feminist take among younger millennials and Gen Z is to victimize the “other woman” and make the husband the sole perpetrator, including situations where the husband is famous and known to be married with kids. The husband IS most responsible for cheating on his wife, I agree with that. He’s the one who made promises he broke. But do women really not owe anything to other women anymore? It’s totally fine to be a side chick now , even when it’s publicly known that the wife has little kids at home?

I feel like I’m taking crazy pills watching all these young women fall all over themselves to defend that TikToker who had the affair with Adam Levine. I don’t care what lies he fed her, she knew he was married and she was an adult when their affair started. It’s interesting to me that it’s considered “unfeminist” to call her out for being a homewrecker or to tell her t9 shut her legs to married men. Why can’t two things be true at once? Adam Levine is a trash husband and I hope his wife leaves with half his fortune. But knowingly sleeping with married men is trash behavior too.

So is your thesis “we are not being adequately cruel as a society to a woman who exposed a man for cheating on his wife”? Are you afraid that the scarlet letter she embroidered for herself was too beautiful?

She wasn’t even apologetic though. I only watched 2 of her videos so idk, maybe she talks about being sorry somewhere else. But in the first two videos she released she makes herself out to be the victim when really the victim is the wife and kids. She knew he was married! What did she expect? The least she can do now is say she is sorry and regrets it.

She doesn’t need to be apologetic to “us” as in the general public. The only person she *may have* contributed harm to is the wife of the man, and for all you or I know she told the wife as soon as the story was going to break and the wife was happy that she went public because it pushed a bunch of OTHER people to expose his creeping. That’s only going to help the wife in the long run if she decides to divorce him or get a post nup. She doesn’t owe you an apology. She doesn’t owe me an apology. And the idea that we all have to get together and call her a “slut” and tell her to “keep her legs closed” even though she never did anything to harm us is literally taken from A Scarlet Letter.

Sumner is no Hester Prynne. Women that basically sell sex, especially White, educated (she evidently has a marketing degree) women with options are not helping the feminist cause. I agree that she doesn’t owe anyone an insincere apology.

Wait wait wait. The reason all the very angry people on this thread are calling her names they would discipline their teenage children for using is because they don’t consider her adequately feminist? That’s…literally insane. A feminist perspective would be to look at the lack of symmetrical name calling and vitriol targeted at the man in question and wonder how deep the societal misogyny goes— and this is even after the thread ostensibly acknowledge that he’s “more”’in the wrong.

At least in this corner of the internet she’s quite a lot like Hester Prynne: she hasn’t done a thing to anyone posting here but they need to freak out and call her names and complain she has no “shame” and hasn’t carried out her punishment correctly. It’s really a lot more telling about this group than it is about the woman in question.

Have you read the Internet? Listened to a talk show or late night television? Seen the memes? Levine is getting shredded. A giant huge mockery is being made of him, what he did and his ridiculous text messages. YES- people are tearing him apart. AND the Celtics head coach is taking way more heat in public opinion then his consensual married co-worker. It was a man that ratted him out. Men and women are condemning these cheating men, but that doesn’t fit your narrative I guess.

OK and that brings me back to my very first question on this thread— is the point of the thread to say that there has not been enough cruelty towards the woman in this situation and we need to immediately put her on a platform so the “virtuous” women can scream about her? Because they need to have that chance to scream about her?

Really it’s genuinely shocking to me to watch this because I bet a lot of these same women would tell their daughters not to call people sluts or trash but they have a real drive to make sure whatever the man did we not forget to shame the woman too. I will make the exception that in the very unlikely case his wife posts here, if she had a rant I’d think that was understandable.

PP you are fighting a valiant but useless fight on this site/subforum. There are a few posters who are so beyond hurt they cannot see any other shade of existence except their own, and they don't have the capacity for empathy. They are just swinging aimlessly at every thread and every poster.

Life, of course, is complicated. And the tradition of women get blamed is unfortunately alive and well.

You do realize there is a long tradition of blaming the wife for the guy’s cheating. She must have shortcomings or not be doing something for him. Oh- and if she chooses to reconcile she has no backbone and is a loser. She’s victimized twice. It’s why in the non-public world so many suffer in silence. They can’t confide in anyone and protect their kids from hateful gossip.

Yes I do realize this. It’s almost as though women in our society are blamed for the behavior of men in our society, and that women police the behavior of other women to a degree the behavior of men is not policed at all. Recognizing that I try not to participate.

Agree. But, this is a trauma response. Hurt people, hurt people.

If a family member was maimed by a drunk driver, you have zero tolerance and have vitriol for anyone you learn chooses to drive drunk. If your family was wrecked by an affair or you were massively betrayed, you have vitriol for anyone who chooses to participate in an affair when married or they know the partner is married (both parties). In either case, the offenders could have been anyone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I noticed with the Adam Levine controversy that the super feminist take among younger millennials and Gen Z is to victimize the “other woman” and make the husband the sole perpetrator, including situations where the husband is famous and known to be married with kids. The husband IS most responsible for cheating on his wife, I agree with that. He’s the one who made promises he broke. But do women really not owe anything to other women anymore? It’s totally fine to be a side chick now , even when it’s publicly known that the wife has little kids at home?

I feel like I’m taking crazy pills watching all these young women fall all over themselves to defend that TikToker who had the affair with Adam Levine. I don’t care what lies he fed her, she knew he was married and she was an adult when their affair started. It’s interesting to me that it’s considered “unfeminist” to call her out for being a homewrecker or to tell her t9 shut her legs to married men. Why can’t two things be true at once? Adam Levine is a trash husband and I hope his wife leaves with half his fortune. But knowingly sleeping with married men is trash behavior too.

So is your thesis “we are not being adequately cruel as a society to a woman who exposed a man for cheating on his wife”? Are you afraid that the scarlet letter she embroidered for herself was too beautiful?

She wasn’t even apologetic though. I only watched 2 of her videos so idk, maybe she talks about being sorry somewhere else. But in the first two videos she released she makes herself out to be the victim when really the victim is the wife and kids. She knew he was married! What did she expect? The least she can do now is say she is sorry and regrets it.

She doesn’t need to be apologetic to “us” as in the general public. The only person she *may have* contributed harm to is the wife of the man, and for all you or I know she told the wife as soon as the story was going to break and the wife was happy that she went public because it pushed a bunch of OTHER people to expose his creeping. That’s only going to help the wife in the long run if she decides to divorce him or get a post nup. She doesn’t owe you an apology. She doesn’t owe me an apology. And the idea that we all have to get together and call her a “slut” and tell her to “keep her legs closed” even though she never did anything to harm us is literally taken from A Scarlet Letter.

Sumner is no Hester Prynne. Women that basically sell sex, especially White, educated (she evidently has a marketing degree) women with options are not helping the feminist cause. I agree that she doesn’t owe anyone an insincere apology.

Wait wait wait. The reason all the very angry people on this thread are calling her names they would discipline their teenage children for using is because they don’t consider her adequately feminist? That’s…literally insane. A feminist perspective would be to look at the lack of symmetrical name calling and vitriol targeted at the man in question and wonder how deep the societal misogyny goes— and this is even after the thread ostensibly acknowledge that he’s “more”’in the wrong.

At least in this corner of the internet she’s quite a lot like Hester Prynne: she hasn’t done a thing to anyone posting here but they need to freak out and call her names and complain she has no “shame” and hasn’t carried out her punishment correctly. It’s really a lot more telling about this group than it is about the woman in question.

Have you read the Internet? Listened to a talk show or late night television? Seen the memes? Levine is getting shredded. A giant huge mockery is being made of him, what he did and his ridiculous text messages. YES- people are tearing him apart. AND the Celtics head coach is taking way more heat in public opinion then his consensual married co-worker. It was a man that ratted him out. Men and women are condemning these cheating men, but that doesn’t fit your narrative I guess.

OK and that brings me back to my very first question on this thread— is the point of the thread to say that there has not been enough cruelty towards the woman in this situation and we need to immediately put her on a platform so the “virtuous” women can scream about her? Because they need to have that chance to scream about her?

Really it’s genuinely shocking to me to watch this because I bet a lot of these same women would tell their daughters not to call people sluts or trash but they have a real drive to make sure whatever the man did we not forget to shame the woman too. I will make the exception that in the very unlikely case his wife posts here, if she had a rant I’d think that was understandable.

PP you are fighting a valiant but useless fight on this site/subforum. There are a few posters who are so beyond hurt they cannot see any other shade of existence except their own, and they don't have the capacity for empathy. They are just swinging aimlessly at every thread and every poster.

Life, of course, is complicated. And the tradition of women get blamed is unfortunately alive and well.

You do realize there is a long tradition of blaming the wife for the guy’s cheating. She must have shortcomings or not be doing something for him. Oh- and if she chooses to reconcile she has no backbone and is a loser. She’s victimized twice. It’s why in the non-public world so many suffer in silence. They can’t confide in anyone and protect their kids from hateful gossip.

Yes I do realize this. It’s almost as though women in our society are blamed for the behavior of men in our society, and that women police the behavior of other women to a degree the behavior of men is not policed at all. Recognizing that I try not to participate.

Agree. But, this is a trauma response. Hurt people, hurt people.

If a family member was maimed by a drunk driver, you have zero tolerance and have vitriol for anyone you learn chooses to drive drunk. If your family was wrecked by an affair or you were massively betrayed, you have vitriol for anyone who chooses to participate in an affair when married or they know the partner is married (both parties). In either case, the offenders could have been anyone.

Some of it may be trauma response and that also accounts for the absolute irrationality (someone else is supposed to have seen through the man’s lies while the wife doesn’t, for example) but there’s a lot of “regular” misogyny, internalized and otherwise, on display here as well.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I noticed with the Adam Levine controversy that the super feminist take among younger millennials and Gen Z is to victimize the “other woman” and make the husband the sole perpetrator, including situations where the husband is famous and known to be married with kids. The husband IS most responsible for cheating on his wife, I agree with that. He’s the one who made promises he broke. But do women really not owe anything to other women anymore? It’s totally fine to be a side chick now , even when it’s publicly known that the wife has little kids at home?

I feel like I’m taking crazy pills watching all these young women fall all over themselves to defend that TikToker who had the affair with Adam Levine. I don’t care what lies he fed her, she knew he was married and she was an adult when their affair started. It’s interesting to me that it’s considered “unfeminist” to call her out for being a homewrecker or to tell her t9 shut her legs to married men. Why can’t two things be true at once? Adam Levine is a trash husband and I hope his wife leaves with half his fortune. But knowingly sleeping with married men is trash behavior too.

So is your thesis “we are not being adequately cruel as a society to a woman who exposed a man for cheating on his wife”? Are you afraid that the scarlet letter she embroidered for herself was too beautiful?

She wasn’t even apologetic though. I only watched 2 of her videos so idk, maybe she talks about being sorry somewhere else. But in the first two videos she released she makes herself out to be the victim when really the victim is the wife and kids. She knew he was married! What did she expect? The least she can do now is say she is sorry and regrets it.

She doesn’t need to be apologetic to “us” as in the general public. The only person she *may have* contributed harm to is the wife of the man, and for all you or I know she told the wife as soon as the story was going to break and the wife was happy that she went public because it pushed a bunch of OTHER people to expose his creeping. That’s only going to help the wife in the long run if she decides to divorce him or get a post nup. She doesn’t owe you an apology. She doesn’t owe me an apology. And the idea that we all have to get together and call her a “slut” and tell her to “keep her legs closed” even though she never did anything to harm us is literally taken from A Scarlet Letter.

Sumner is no Hester Prynne. Women that basically sell sex, especially White, educated (she evidently has a marketing degree) women with options are not helping the feminist cause. I agree that she doesn’t owe anyone an insincere apology.

Wait wait wait. The reason all the very angry people on this thread are calling her names they would discipline their teenage children for using is because they don’t consider her adequately feminist? That’s…literally insane. A feminist perspective would be to look at the lack of symmetrical name calling and vitriol targeted at the man in question and wonder how deep the societal misogyny goes— and this is even after the thread ostensibly acknowledge that he’s “more”’in the wrong.

At least in this corner of the internet she’s quite a lot like Hester Prynne: she hasn’t done a thing to anyone posting here but they need to freak out and call her names and complain she has no “shame” and hasn’t carried out her punishment correctly. It’s really a lot more telling about this group than it is about the woman in question.

Have you read the Internet? Listened to a talk show or late night television? Seen the memes? Levine is getting shredded. A giant huge mockery is being made of him, what he did and his ridiculous text messages. YES- people are tearing him apart. AND the Celtics head coach is taking way more heat in public opinion then his consensual married co-worker. It was a man that ratted him out. Men and women are condemning these cheating men, but that doesn’t fit your narrative I guess.

OK and that brings me back to my very first question on this thread— is the point of the thread to say that there has not been enough cruelty towards the woman in this situation and we need to immediately put her on a platform so the “virtuous” women can scream about her? Because they need to have that chance to scream about her?

Really it’s genuinely shocking to me to watch this because I bet a lot of these same women would tell their daughters not to call people sluts or trash but they have a real drive to make sure whatever the man did we not forget to shame the woman too. I will make the exception that in the very unlikely case his wife posts here, if she had a rant I’d think that was understandable.

PP you are fighting a valiant but useless fight on this site/subforum. There are a few posters who are so beyond hurt they cannot see any other shade of existence except their own, and they don't have the capacity for empathy. They are just swinging aimlessly at every thread and every poster.

Life, of course, is complicated. And the tradition of women get blamed is unfortunately alive and well.

You do realize there is a long tradition of blaming the wife for the guy’s cheating. She must have shortcomings or not be doing something for him. Oh- and if she chooses to reconcile she has no backbone and is a loser. She’s victimized twice. It’s why in the non-public world so many suffer in silence. They can’t confide in anyone and protect their kids from hateful gossip.

Yes I do realize this. It’s almost as though women in our society are blamed for the behavior of men in our society, and that women police the behavior of other women to a degree the behavior of men is not policed at all. Recognizing that I try not to participate.

Agree. But, this is a trauma response. Hurt people, hurt people.

If a family member was maimed by a drunk driver, you have zero tolerance and have vitriol for anyone you learn chooses to drive drunk. If your family was wrecked by an affair or you were massively betrayed, you have vitriol for anyone who chooses to participate in an affair when married or they know the partner is married (both parties). In either case, the offenders could have been anyone.

Some of it may be trauma response and that also accounts for the absolute irrationality (someone else is supposed to have seen through the man’s lies while the wife doesn’t, for example) but there’s a lot of “regular” misogyny, internalized and otherwise, on display here as well.

This was my experience. It's hard to grasp that someone is lying right to your face, about life-altering situations and decisions. It's just not human nature to think people are lying. It took multiple times catching the lies before I was able to accept it -- and even then, each new lie had to be accepted anew. It really makes you question your take on the world and people. I started asking other people if they had lied to me, and to what extent.

Married cheaters are sociopaths. They are very good liars and don't feel any bond or obligations to others. They have no real emotions or personalities, other than being self interested. They're just projecting a personality for the world to interact with. Empty shells.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I noticed with the Adam Levine controversy that the super feminist take among younger millennials and Gen Z is to victimize the “other woman” and make the husband the sole perpetrator, including situations where the husband is famous and known to be married with kids. The husband IS most responsible for cheating on his wife, I agree with that. He’s the one who made promises he broke. But do women really not owe anything to other women anymore? It’s totally fine to be a side chick now , even when it’s publicly known that the wife has little kids at home?

I feel like I’m taking crazy pills watching all these young women fall all over themselves to defend that TikToker who had the affair with Adam Levine. I don’t care what lies he fed her, she knew he was married and she was an adult when their affair started. It’s interesting to me that it’s considered “unfeminist” to call her out for being a homewrecker or to tell her t9 shut her legs to married men. Why can’t two things be true at once? Adam Levine is a trash husband and I hope his wife leaves with half his fortune. But knowingly sleeping with married men is trash behavior too.

So is your thesis “we are not being adequately cruel as a society to a woman who exposed a man for cheating on his wife”? Are you afraid that the scarlet letter she embroidered for herself was too beautiful?

She wasn’t even apologetic though. I only watched 2 of her videos so idk, maybe she talks about being sorry somewhere else. But in the first two videos she released she makes herself out to be the victim when really the victim is the wife and kids. She knew he was married! What did she expect? The least she can do now is say she is sorry and regrets it.

She doesn’t need to be apologetic to “us” as in the general public. The only person she *may have* contributed harm to is the wife of the man, and for all you or I know she told the wife as soon as the story was going to break and the wife was happy that she went public because it pushed a bunch of OTHER people to expose his creeping. That’s only going to help the wife in the long run if she decides to divorce him or get a post nup. She doesn’t owe you an apology. She doesn’t owe me an apology. And the idea that we all have to get together and call her a “slut” and tell her to “keep her legs closed” even though she never did anything to harm us is literally taken from A Scarlet Letter.

Sumner is no Hester Prynne. Women that basically sell sex, especially White, educated (she evidently has a marketing degree) women with options are not helping the feminist cause. I agree that she doesn’t owe anyone an insincere apology.

Wait wait wait. The reason all the very angry people on this thread are calling her names they would discipline their teenage children for using is because they don’t consider her adequately feminist? That’s…literally insane. A feminist perspective would be to look at the lack of symmetrical name calling and vitriol targeted at the man in question and wonder how deep the societal misogyny goes— and this is even after the thread ostensibly acknowledge that he’s “more”’in the wrong.

At least in this corner of the internet she’s quite a lot like Hester Prynne: she hasn’t done a thing to anyone posting here but they need to freak out and call her names and complain she has no “shame” and hasn’t carried out her punishment correctly. It’s really a lot more telling about this group than it is about the woman in question.

Have you read the Internet? Listened to a talk show or late night television? Seen the memes? Levine is getting shredded. A giant huge mockery is being made of him, what he did and his ridiculous text messages. YES- people are tearing him apart. AND the Celtics head coach is taking way more heat in public opinion then his consensual married co-worker. It was a man that ratted him out. Men and women are condemning these cheating men, but that doesn’t fit your narrative I guess.

OK and that brings me back to my very first question on this thread— is the point of the thread to say that there has not been enough cruelty towards the woman in this situation and we need to immediately put her on a platform so the “virtuous” women can scream about her? Because they need to have that chance to scream about her?

Really it’s genuinely shocking to me to watch this because I bet a lot of these same women would tell their daughters not to call people sluts or trash but they have a real drive to make sure whatever the man did we not forget to shame the woman too. I will make the exception that in the very unlikely case his wife posts here, if she had a rant I’d think that was understandable.

PP you are fighting a valiant but useless fight on this site/subforum. There are a few posters who are so beyond hurt they cannot see any other shade of existence except their own, and they don't have the capacity for empathy. They are just swinging aimlessly at every thread and every poster.

Life, of course, is complicated. And the tradition of women get blamed is unfortunately alive and well.

You do realize there is a long tradition of blaming the wife for the guy’s cheating. She must have shortcomings or not be doing something for him. Oh- and if she chooses to reconcile she has no backbone and is a loser. She’s victimized twice. It’s why in the non-public world so many suffer in silence. They can’t confide in anyone and protect their kids from hateful gossip.

Yes I do realize this. It’s almost as though women in our society are blamed for the behavior of men in our society, and that women police the behavior of other women to a degree the behavior of men is not policed at all. Recognizing that I try not to participate.

Agree. But, this is a trauma response. Hurt people, hurt people.

If a family member was maimed by a drunk driver, you have zero tolerance and have vitriol for anyone you learn chooses to drive drunk. If your family was wrecked by an affair or you were massively betrayed, you have vitriol for anyone who chooses to participate in an affair when married or they know the partner is married (both parties). In either case, the offenders could have been anyone.

Some of it may be trauma response and that also accounts for the absolute irrationality (someone else is supposed to have seen through the man’s lies while the wife doesn’t, for example) but there’s a lot of “regular” misogyny, internalized and otherwise, on display here as well.

This was my experience. It's hard to grasp that someone is lying right to your face, about life-altering situations and decisions. It's just not human nature to think people are lying. It took multiple times catching the lies before I was able to accept it -- and even then, each new lie had to be accepted anew. It really makes you question your take on the world and people. I started asking other people if they had lied to me, and to what extent.

Married cheaters are sociopaths. They are very good liars and don't feel any bond or obligations to others. They have no real emotions or personalities, other than being self interested. They're just projecting a personality for the world to interact with. Empty shells.

I’m sorry this happened to you. I started my career in a field with a really high level of infidelity. The lies that (primarily men, occasionally women) told to sleep with people astonished me. *More than one person* told their AP that their wife had cancer, discovered during divorce proceedings, and that if they finalized the divorce she’d lose her insurance/probably die. Men said their wives had abandoned the family and so couldn’t be served with papers. There was a lot about “the children” including (invented) terminal cancer and how could he leave *now* even though it has been over for years?

Meanwhile they were also lying to their wives of course. Oh I’m working late oh stupid Meg in Accounting wrecked the quarterly report oh I can’t turn down this assignment the CEO specifically asked me. And BOTH women were believing the lies. I can’t say that the OW needed to see through it with laser clarity but that the wife shouldn’t have seen through them. What I *do* say to everyone on this board who asks about dating “separated” men (and what I counsel all of my friends and nieces and will eventually tell my daughter) is that married is a binary state regardless of how complicated someone tells you things are.

[Anonymous]

See, I've never thought "feminism" was the reason not to be some married guy's mistress anyway. That's a bad news situation that is guaranteed to blow up and bring me nothing be heartache and regret. So I avoid making bad choices like that for my own sake, first and foremost. But yes, it's also against my ethics to contribute to harming an innocent party. I also can't imagine how I would find a man willing to cheat on his wife attractive -- obviously our moral sensibilities do not align.

There's no single reason not to be a mistress. But I do agree that it's anti-feminist to expect women to safeguard each other's marriages. You married an autonomous adult. He, and he alone, is responsible for being the partner he's agreed to be. Does that mean being a mistress is some empowered choice? No way. You're still an idiot if you choose that your for yourself. But you're not responsible for someone else's marital fidelity.