Thoughts on the “other woman”?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She is not a victim, but all the fault is with the married person looking to step out and betray their spouse.

The betrayed spouse needs to let go of the anger if they decide to stay with the cheating spouse. I know several women that obsess over the OW and hate her, but have forgiven their husbands.

That's how they manage that trick -- they hate the OW instead. It's the only way.

Conversely, the OW often obsesses about the wife, as well. Competition over limited resources, the actual man is secondary.

And wishes her harm, stalks her on the Internet …all while the wife has zero idea she even exists. She’s in a competition with a wife that doesn’t even know she’s in one and sadly they still can’t get them to leave the wife 98% of the time…when he only sees her at her absolute best in a fantasy world for an hour at a time.

OH MY GOD you are so tiresome. For the millionth time: Your H's one experience is not representative of all affairs. Every time you post this stuff, you just remind us what a loser YOUR husband was.

If I had a husband …huh?

Then your ex husband. The one who had the affair that you've been ranting about for 2+ years.

I’ve never been married, freak.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She is not a victim, but all the fault is with the married person looking to step out and betray their spouse.

The betrayed spouse needs to let go of the anger if they decide to stay with the cheating spouse. I know several women that obsess over the OW and hate her, but have forgiven their husbands.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I noticed with the Adam Levine controversy that the super feminist take among younger millennials and Gen Z is to victimize the “other woman” and make the husband the sole perpetrator, including situations where the husband is famous and known to be married with kids. The husband IS most responsible for cheating on his wife, I agree with that. He’s the one who made promises he broke. But do women really not owe anything to other women anymore? It’s totally fine to be a side chick now , even when it’s publicly known that the wife has little kids at home?

I feel like I’m taking crazy pills watching all these young women fall all over themselves to defend that TikToker who had the affair with Adam Levine. I don’t care what lies he fed her, she knew he was married and she was an adult when their affair started. It’s interesting to me that it’s considered “unfeminist” to call her out for being a homewrecker or to tell her t9 shut her legs to married men. Why can’t two things be true at once? Adam Levine is a trash husband and I hope his wife leaves with half his fortune. But knowingly sleeping with married men is trash behavior too.

So is your thesis “we are not being adequately cruel as a society to a woman who exposed a man for cheating on his wife”? Are you afraid that the scarlet letter she embroidered for herself was too beautiful?

She wasn’t even apologetic though. I only watched 2 of her videos so idk, maybe she talks about being sorry somewhere else. But in the first two videos she released she makes herself out to be the victim when really the victim is the wife and kids. She knew he was married! What did she expect? The least she can do now is say she is sorry and regrets it.

She doesn’t need to be apologetic to “us” as in the general public. The only person she *may have* contributed harm to is the wife of the man, and for all you or I know she told the wife as soon as the story was going to break and the wife was happy that she went public because it pushed a bunch of OTHER people to expose his creeping. That’s only going to help the wife in the long run if she decides to divorce him or get a post nup. She doesn’t owe you an apology. She doesn’t owe me an apology. And the idea that we all have to get together and call her a “slut” and tell her to “keep her legs closed” even though she never did anything to harm us is literally taken from A Scarlet Letter.

Sumner is no Hester Prynne. Women that basically sell sex, especially White, educated (she evidently has a marketing degree) women with options are not helping the feminist cause. I agree that she doesn’t owe anyone an insincere apology.

Wait wait wait. The reason all the very angry people on this thread are calling her names they would discipline their teenage children for using is because they don’t consider her adequately feminist? That’s…literally insane. A feminist perspective would be to look at the lack of symmetrical name calling and vitriol targeted at the man in question and wonder how deep the societal misogyny goes— and this is even after the thread ostensibly acknowledge that he’s “more”’in the wrong.

At least in this corner of the internet she’s quite a lot like Hester Prynne: she hasn’t done a thing to anyone posting here but they need to freak out and call her names and complain she has no “shame” and hasn’t carried out her punishment correctly. It’s really a lot more telling about this group than it is about the woman in question.

Have you read the Internet? Listened to a talk show or late night television? Seen the memes? Levine is getting shredded. A giant huge mockery is being made of him, what he did and his ridiculous text messages. YES- people are tearing him apart. AND the Celtics head coach is taking way more heat in public opinion then his consensual married co-worker. It was a man that ratted him out. Men and women are condemning these cheating men, but that doesn’t fit your narrative I guess.

The one where he wanted to buy her @ss a steak dinner

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She is not a victim, but all the fault is with the married person looking to step out and betray their spouse.

The betrayed spouse needs to let go of the anger if they decide to stay with the cheating spouse. I know several women that obsess over the OW and hate her, but have forgiven their husbands.

That's how they manage that trick -- they hate the OW instead. It's the only way.

Conversely, the OW often obsesses about the wife, as well. Competition over limited resources, the actual man is secondary.

And wishes her harm, stalks her on the Internet …all while the wife has zero idea she even exists. She’s in a competition with a wife that doesn’t even know she’s in one and sadly they still can’t get them to leave the wife 98% of the time…when he only sees her at her absolute best in a fantasy world for an hour at a time.

When my college boyfriend cheated on me, months later my boyfriend told me how the “other woman” would talk about how much she hated me- and I had no idea she even existed at that point. It was weird the way she acted as though I’d done something to hurt her when she was the one going after someone else’s boyfriend.

I never could figure out her thought process on that. I wonder what a therapist would think her attitude indicated.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She is not a victim, but all the fault is with the married person looking to step out and betray their spouse.

The betrayed spouse needs to let go of the anger if they decide to stay with the cheating spouse. I know several women that obsess over the OW and hate her, but have forgiven their husbands.

That's how they manage that trick -- they hate the OW instead. It's the only way.

Conversely, the OW often obsesses about the wife, as well. Competition over limited resources, the actual man is secondary.

And wishes her harm, stalks her on the Internet …all while the wife has zero idea she even exists. She’s in a competition with a wife that doesn’t even know she’s in one and sadly they still can’t get them to leave the wife 98% of the time…when he only sees her at her absolute best in a fantasy world for an hour at a time.

OH MY GOD you are so tiresome. For the millionth time: Your H's one experience is not representative of all affairs. Every time you post this stuff, you just remind us what a loser YOUR husband was.

+1 Do these bizarre posters not realize that their husbands are describing them in less than flattering terms to the OW? Do they really think their DH is telling the OW how awesome their DW is? NO. THEY ARE NOT. They are telling their AP how shrew-like, horrible and unattractive their wives are, thus justifying their affair. Why in the world would the OW be obsessed with them? They think the wives are the losers their DH described them to be. Wake up. Stop kidding yourselves.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She is not a victim, but all the fault is with the married person looking to step out and betray their spouse.

The betrayed spouse needs to let go of the anger if they decide to stay with the cheating spouse. I know several women that obsess over the OW and hate her, but have forgiven their husbands.

That's how they manage that trick -- they hate the OW instead. It's the only way.

Conversely, the OW often obsesses about the wife, as well. Competition over limited resources, the actual man is secondary.

And wishes her harm, stalks her on the Internet …all while the wife has zero idea she even exists. She’s in a competition with a wife that doesn’t even know she’s in one and sadly they still can’t get them to leave the wife 98% of the time…when he only sees her at her absolute best in a fantasy world for an hour at a time.

When my college boyfriend cheated on me, months later my boyfriend told me how the “other woman” would talk about how much she hated me- and I had no idea she even existed at that point. It was weird the way she acted as though I’d done something to hurt her when she was the one going after someone else’s boyfriend.

I never could figure out her thought process on that. I wonder what a therapist would think her attitude indicated.

Your boyfriend was a liar. He lied to you when he cheated on you, and he lied to you about what the "other woman" said about you, too. Because he's a liar. Sorry to break it to you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She is not a victim, but all the fault is with the married person looking to step out and betray their spouse.

The betrayed spouse needs to let go of the anger if they decide to stay with the cheating spouse. I know several women that obsess over the OW and hate her, but have forgiven their husbands.

That's how they manage that trick -- they hate the OW instead. It's the only way.

Conversely, the OW often obsesses about the wife, as well. Competition over limited resources, the actual man is secondary.

And wishes her harm, stalks her on the Internet …all while the wife has zero idea she even exists. She’s in a competition with a wife that doesn’t even know she’s in one and sadly they still can’t get them to leave the wife 98% of the time…when he only sees her at her absolute best in a fantasy world for an hour at a time.

OH MY GOD you are so tiresome. For the millionth time: Your H's one experience is not representative of all affairs. Every time you post this stuff, you just remind us what a loser YOUR husband was.

+1 Do these bizarre posters not realize that their husbands are describing them in less than flattering terms to the OW? Do they really think their DH is telling the OW how awesome their DW is? NO. THEY ARE NOT. They are telling their AP how shrew-like, horrible and unattractive their wives are, thus justifying their affair. Why in the world would the OW be obsessed with them? They think the wives are the losers their DH described them to be. Wake up. Stop kidding yourselves.

Nope. Not all men do that. Particularly narcissists because it would reflect badly on them. They both often never talk of their spouses. Some men have a code where they will never say anything bad and get angry if the ow says anything negative about the wife. What you describe is a stereotype. Many men in happy marriages cheat in no string situations. Being jealous of the woman he sleeps next to every night, celebrates holidays and goes on exotic trips with is normal. That often want her lifestyle.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She is not a victim, but all the fault is with the married person looking to step out and betray their spouse.

The betrayed spouse needs to let go of the anger if they decide to stay with the cheating spouse. I know several women that obsess over the OW and hate her, but have forgiven their husbands.

That's how they manage that trick -- they hate the OW instead. It's the only way.

Conversely, the OW often obsesses about the wife, as well. Competition over limited resources, the actual man is secondary.

And wishes her harm, stalks her on the Internet …all while the wife has zero idea she even exists. She’s in a competition with a wife that doesn’t even know she’s in one and sadly they still can’t get them to leave the wife 98% of the time…when he only sees her at her absolute best in a fantasy world for an hour at a time.

OH MY GOD you are so tiresome. For the millionth time: Your H's one experience is not representative of all affairs. Every time you post this stuff, you just remind us what a loser YOUR husband was.

+1 Do these bizarre posters not realize that their husbands are describing them in less than flattering terms to the OW? Do they really think their DH is telling the OW how awesome their DW is? NO. THEY ARE NOT. They are telling their AP how shrew-like, horrible and unattractive their wives are, thus justifying their affair. Why in the world would the OW be obsessed with them? They think the wives are the losers their DH described them to be. Wake up. Stop kidding yourselves.

Nope. Not all men do that. Particularly narcissists because it would reflect badly on them. They both often never talk of their spouses. Some men have a code where they will never say anything bad and get angry if the ow says anything negative about the wife. What you describe is a stereotype. Many men in happy marriages cheat in no string situations. Being jealous of the woman he sleeps next to every night, celebrates holidays and goes on exotic trips with is normal. That often want her lifestyle.

You've been watching too much tv.

[Anonymous]

I’m one who was confronted by the OW. The first thing she said was that she was jealous of me. Pretty bizarre to hear when I didn’t know her or of her before she exposed the affair. Quite surreal.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She is not a victim, but all the fault is with the married person looking to step out and betray their spouse.

The betrayed spouse needs to let go of the anger if they decide to stay with the cheating spouse. I know several women that obsess over the OW and hate her, but have forgiven their husbands.

That's how they manage that trick -- they hate the OW instead. It's the only way.

Conversely, the OW often obsesses about the wife, as well. Competition over limited resources, the actual man is secondary.

And wishes her harm, stalks her on the Internet …all while the wife has zero idea she even exists. She’s in a competition with a wife that doesn’t even know she’s in one and sadly they still can’t get them to leave the wife 98% of the time…when he only sees her at her absolute best in a fantasy world for an hour at a time.

OH MY GOD you are so tiresome. For the millionth time: Your H's one experience is not representative of all affairs. Every time you post this stuff, you just remind us what a loser YOUR husband was.

+1 Do these bizarre posters not realize that their husbands are describing them in less than flattering terms to the OW? Do they really think their DH is telling the OW how awesome their DW is? NO. THEY ARE NOT. They are telling their AP how shrew-like, horrible and unattractive their wives are, thus justifying their affair. Why in the world would the OW be obsessed with them? They think the wives are the losers their DH described them to be. Wake up. Stop kidding yourselves.

We never talked about our spouses or our marriages. Kind of would have ruined the escape and guilt would have entered. Out of sight out of mind.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She is not a victim, but all the fault is with the married person looking to step out and betray their spouse.

The betrayed spouse needs to let go of the anger if they decide to stay with the cheating spouse. I know several women that obsess over the OW and hate her, but have forgiven their husbands.

That's how they manage that trick -- they hate the OW instead. It's the only way.

Conversely, the OW often obsesses about the wife, as well. Competition over limited resources, the actual man is secondary.

And wishes her harm, stalks her on the Internet …all while the wife has zero idea she even exists. She’s in a competition with a wife that doesn’t even know she’s in one and sadly they still can’t get them to leave the wife 98% of the time…when he only sees her at her absolute best in a fantasy world for an hour at a time.

OH MY GOD you are so tiresome. For the millionth time: Your H's one experience is not representative of all affairs. Every time you post this stuff, you just remind us what a loser YOUR husband was.

+1 Do these bizarre posters not realize that their husbands are describing them in less than flattering terms to the OW? Do they really think their DH is telling the OW how awesome their DW is? NO. THEY ARE NOT. They are telling their AP how shrew-like, horrible and unattractive their wives are, thus justifying their affair. Why in the world would the OW be obsessed with them? They think the wives are the losers their DH described them to be. Wake up. Stop kidding yourselves.

Nope. Not all men do that. Particularly narcissists because it would reflect badly on them. They both often never talk of their spouses. Some men have a code where they will never say anything bad and get angry if the ow says anything negative about the wife. What you describe is a stereotype. Many men in happy marriages cheat in no string situations. Being jealous of the woman he sleeps next to every night, celebrates holidays and goes on exotic trips with is normal. That often want her lifestyle.

My exH spoke very highly of me to his married AP. He described the Tesla he gave me, all our daily errands, exotic trips, she was a currier to send my jewelry he custom ordered overseas. Narcissists try to elevate the WIFE so that AP always has to “fight” for his D.

PS. I listened to their conversations. Don’t ask me how and when but it was a life altering experience to see what kind of person I was married to. I don’t blame her - she’s just a low self esteem woman abused by her own husband. My exH was a narc psycho

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don’t blame the other woman. She is irrelevant. Men or spouses aren’t property. They have a brain and their own free will. It is up to them alone (and with their spouse) to keep their marriage intact

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She is not a victim, but all the fault is with the married person looking to step out and betray their spouse.

The betrayed spouse needs to let go of the anger if they decide to stay with the cheating spouse. I know several women that obsess over the OW and hate her, but have forgiven their husbands.

That's how they manage that trick -- they hate the OW instead. It's the only way.

Conversely, the OW often obsesses about the wife, as well. Competition over limited resources, the actual man is secondary.

And wishes her harm, stalks her on the Internet …all while the wife has zero idea she even exists. She’s in a competition with a wife that doesn’t even know she’s in one and sadly they still can’t get them to leave the wife 98% of the time…when he only sees her at her absolute best in a fantasy world for an hour at a time.

OH MY GOD you are so tiresome. For the millionth time: Your H's one experience is not representative of all affairs. Every time you post this stuff, you just remind us what a loser YOUR husband was.

+1 Do these bizarre posters not realize that their husbands are describing them in less than flattering terms to the OW? Do they really think their DH is telling the OW how awesome their DW is? NO. THEY ARE NOT. They are telling their AP how shrew-like, horrible and unattractive their wives are, thus justifying their affair. Why in the world would the OW be obsessed with them? They think the wives are the losers their DH described them to be. Wake up. Stop kidding yourselves.

Nope. Not all men do that. Particularly narcissists because it would reflect badly on them. They both often never talk of their spouses. Some men have a code where they will never say anything bad and get angry if the ow says anything negative about the wife. What you describe is a stereotype. Many men in happy marriages cheat in no string situations. Being jealous of the woman he sleeps next to every night, celebrates holidays and goes on exotic trips with is normal. That often want her lifestyle.

My exH spoke very highly of me to his married AP. He described the Tesla he gave me, all our daily errands, exotic trips, she was a currier to send my jewelry he custom ordered overseas. Narcissists try to elevate the WIFE so that AP always has to “fight” for his D.

PS. I listened to their conversations. Don’t ask me how and when but it was a life altering experience to see what kind of person I was married to. I don’t blame her - she’s just a low self esteem woman abused by her own husband. My exH was a narc psycho

Same. It eventually became a bone of contention and made her even more insecure, as told to me directly from the horse’s mouth.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When I was OW, I didn't feel like I was harming the DW because I had no intention of breaking up her family. And when you think about it, I gotta give Sumner credit -- she could've dimed him out ages ago, but she didn't. She kept her mouth shut, she was discreet, no harm came to Behati. It wasn't until Sumner's friend tried to sell the story that Sumner herself came forward.

But honestly though, if Behati had an expectation of monogamy, she's a fool.

Well you were. In what f@cking world do you live in that you think f@cking another woman’s husband isn’t going to harm her…and ultimately her children when the affair us discovered.

You are a self-centered POS.

Not PP but you should read statistics on this. Most affairs are never discovered. The ones that are are have a more than 80% chance of staying married. People in happy marriages don’t cheat. There are some scumbags who will but usually, an affair is a symptom of a marriage in decline or already dead. A good marriage will survive an affair…a weak one will not…and that means the affair was not the main issue

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t blame the other woman. She is irrelevant. Men or spouses aren’t property. They have a brain and their own free will. It is up to them alone (and with their spouse) to keep their marriage intact

+1

Agree. But when they are both married with families it really makes me angry they are putting two sets of spouses and kids thorough that. I mean you are gddamn parents and spouses yourselves, how could you do that to another family? I get the dumb clueless OW that’s never been married or had kids and can’t even fathom all of the time and emotion and fragility of children. But other parents? Just no.