Redshirting my son for pre-k - May birthday

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:May is too old. Down the road, kids will begin to notice how much older he is and think he must have been held back. He will be almost a year and a half older than some classmates. There was a kid at our school who was redshirted with a May birthday and he stood out as too old. Ge will turn 7 while in kindergarten! I’m surprised schools allow this. There should be a cut off at some point.

This doesn't happen. I know you like to think it does, but it doesn't and kids do not care about this at all. Only nosy busybody parents.

Oh yes it happens.

No, it really doesn't. I was just at a birthday party for a kindergartener turning 7 and nobody said a thing. My 6 year old kindergartener only thought it was unfair he got to turn 7 first. Someone will always have to be first. My 5th grader is with kids already turning 12. Again, nobody says a thing and the other kids just wish it was their birthday. The insecurity is on the parent's side, not the kids.

+1

It doesn’t happen in real life. One of the most well-liked, nicest kids in my DCs elementary class was a Feb. kid who was a year older. That kid could not have been more well-liked if he tried. And he was the oldest by literally months.

You don't see an issue with having 5 year olds in a class with 7 year olds?

Nope. Look at Montessori programs where there are blended age groups for classes. It’s fine and in fact there are even tangible benefits (older children serving as peer mentors and younger kids learning from them).

Don’t some of you have kids with older siblings? Do they spend time together or do you shelter the younger child from their older sibling too? Seriously, what is the big deal with kids of different ages being in the same class? What a strange issue to fixate on.

Kids should learn how to be with peers of different ages and abilities. That’s part of life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This thread is fascinating. We were planning to hold back child who will turn 5 at the end of June. He seems much more comfortable playing with younger kids and withdraws with kids his age. Ready academically but not socially? I didn’t realize it would be looked down upon.

It’s not looked down on by normal people. DCUM is not a good representative of normal people, unfortunately. But you will be fine.

Naive woman.

+2 Definitely looked down on, even if it is behind your back. Just being honest. May seems a stretch for redshirting.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:May is too old. Down the road, kids will begin to notice how much older he is and think he must have been held back. He will be almost a year and a half older than some classmates. There was a kid at our school who was redshirted with a May birthday and he stood out as too old. Ge will turn 7 while in kindergarten! I’m surprised schools allow this. There should be a cut off at some point.

This doesn't happen. I know you like to think it does, but it doesn't and kids do not care about this at all. Only nosy busybody parents.

Oh yes it happens.

No, it really doesn't. I was just at a birthday party for a kindergartener turning 7 and nobody said a thing. My 6 year old kindergartener only thought it was unfair he got to turn 7 first. Someone will always have to be first. My 5th grader is with kids already turning 12. Again, nobody says a thing and the other kids just wish it was their birthday. The insecurity is on the parent's side, not the kids.

Kids talk, just in private. My kid will tell me how odd it is a kid two years older is in the same grade.

Yes, the redshirted kid is always regarded as such when the kids and even parents talk. They even call him out on it.

Sure they do. Sorry your kid is struggling socially. But it’s not the redshirted kids fault.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here - a lot of input that really has not made me feel better. I have heard consistently that June 1 is the cut off for redshirting. His current teacher did recommend that he repeat pre-k but I suspect it has nothing to do with his age.

Recommend repeating pre-k? That kills me. Pre-k teacher must be a neuropsychologist. You don’t mention serious developmental delays. It’s absolutely because of your child’s birthday.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:May is too old. Down the road, kids will begin to notice how much older he is and think he must have been held back. He will be almost a year and a half older than some classmates. There was a kid at our school who was redshirted with a May birthday and he stood out as too old. Ge will turn 7 while in kindergarten! I’m surprised schools allow this. There should be a cut off at some point.

This doesn't happen. I know you like to think it does, but it doesn't and kids do not care about this at all. Only nosy busybody parents.

Oh yes it happens.

No, it really doesn't. I was just at a birthday party for a kindergartener turning 7 and nobody said a thing. My 6 year old kindergartener only thought it was unfair he got to turn 7 first. Someone will always have to be first. My 5th grader is with kids already turning 12. Again, nobody says a thing and the other kids just wish it was their birthday. The insecurity is on the parent's side, not the kids.

Kids talk, just in private. My kid will tell me how odd it is a kid two years older is in the same grade.

Yes, the redshirted kid is always regarded as such when the kids and even parents talk. They even call him out on it.

Sure they do. Sorry your kid is struggling socially. But it’s not the redshirted kids fault.

Nope, mine is just fine. No one said it’s redshirted kids fault but he carries that label. Apparently, the redshirted parents struggle as do you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This thread is fascinating. We were planning to hold back child who will turn 5 at the end of June. He seems much more comfortable playing with younger kids and withdraws with kids his age. Ready academically but not socially? I didn’t realize it would be looked down upon.

It’s not looked down on by normal people. DCUM is not a good representative of normal people, unfortunately. But you will be fine.

Naive woman.

+2 Definitely looked down on, even if it is behind your back. Just being honest. May seems a stretch for redshirting.

+3

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here - a lot of input that really has not made me feel better. I have heard consistently that June 1 is the cut off for redshirting. His current teacher did recommend that he repeat pre-k but I suspect it has nothing to do with his age.

You should specifically ask the teacher whether there is a developmental issue. Social/emotional readiness is one topic you can talk inquire about, if there is no developmental delay.
Unless there is a valid reason to redshirt, don't do it for a May-born. I sweated a lot whether to redshirt my child who has a July birthday. There was a developmental delay, and it has been affecting the school life very significantly. If there was no such issue I would not do it. Even with the developmental delay, and even with a July birthday I put almost 1.5 years of thought and research into this issue. I simply cannot imagine redshirting a May-born with no developmental delay. That is my two cents, as a parent who chose to redshirt a child.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:May is too old. Down the road, kids will begin to notice how much older he is and think he must have been held back. He will be almost a year and a half older than some classmates. There was a kid at our school who was redshirted with a May birthday and he stood out as too old. Ge will turn 7 while in kindergarten! I’m surprised schools allow this. There should be a cut off at some point.

This doesn't happen. I know you like to think it does, but it doesn't and kids do not care about this at all. Only nosy busybody parents.

Oh yes it happens.

No, it really doesn't. I was just at a birthday party for a kindergartener turning 7 and nobody said a thing. My 6 year old kindergartener only thought it was unfair he got to turn 7 first. Someone will always have to be first. My 5th grader is with kids already turning 12. Again, nobody says a thing and the other kids just wish it was their birthday. The insecurity is on the parent's side, not the kids.

+1

It doesn’t happen in real life. One of the most well-liked, nicest kids in my DCs elementary class was a Feb. kid who was a year older. That kid could not have been more well-liked if he tried. And he was the oldest by literally months.

You don't see an issue with having 5 year olds in a class with 7 year olds?

Nope. Look at Montessori programs where there are blended age groups for classes. It’s fine and in fact there are even tangible benefits (older children serving as peer mentors and younger kids learning from them).

Don’t some of you have kids with older siblings? Do they spend time together or do you shelter the younger child from their older sibling too? Seriously, what is the big deal with kids of different ages being in the same class? What a strange issue to fixate on.

Kids should learn how to be with peers of different ages and abilities. That’s part of life.

Maybe your 7 year old should learn to be in class with kids his own age? My 13 year old is with a 15 year old in 8th grade. It is ludicrous. Trust me, my son is not learning beneficial things from his older classmate.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here - a lot of input that really has not made me feel better. I have heard consistently that June 1 is the cut off for redshirting. His current teacher did recommend that he repeat pre-k but I suspect it has nothing to do with his age.

Don't punish your child just because you want the prestige of a particular private school. You should allow him to move ahead with kids his age who are on par with his learning abilities. He will not be missing anything by going to a public ES program. If you want to try again and private later, have at it. Our neighbor held back their April birthday child and he is so much bigger than his classmates. He is also older than my summer birthday kid but yet a year behind him in school. It is such an oddity and the kids are acutely aware that Larlo is much taller and older yet he is behind in school for no apparent reason.

Let your kid flourish. Don't handicap him so early on.

[Anonymous]

There will be a lot of “red-shirted” kids as a result of the pandemic. Many delayed starting kindergarten last year so a bunch of six year olds headed off to kinder this year. Our child switched schools to one that uses a different birthday cut off (July 1st) so ended up repeating a year (we moved to private to escape public virtual). It is what it is and people should stop making a big fuss about how old kids are, especially parents of other students. It just isn’t that big a deal.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This thread is fascinating. We were planning to hold back child who will turn 5 at the end of June. He seems much more comfortable playing with younger kids and withdraws with kids his age. Ready academically but not socially? I didn’t realize it would be looked down upon.

It’s not looked down on by normal people. DCUM is not a good representative of normal people, unfortunately. But you will be fine.

Naive woman.

+2 Definitely looked down on, even if it is behind your back. Just being honest. May seems a stretch for redshirting.

+3

I'll bet you gossiping, snide, nasty people hold yourselves out to be the "better" families and think awfully highly of yourselves despite how you talk about innocent children. Please do call redshirted kids out so you can alert everyone to what kind of foul people you really are.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:May is too old. Down the road, kids will begin to notice how much older he is and think he must have been held back. He will be almost a year and a half older than some classmates. There was a kid at our school who was redshirted with a May birthday and he stood out as too old. Ge will turn 7 while in kindergarten! I’m surprised schools allow this. There should be a cut off at some point.

This doesn't happen. I know you like to think it does, but it doesn't and kids do not care about this at all. Only nosy busybody parents.

Oh yes it happens.

No, it really doesn't. I was just at a birthday party for a kindergartener turning 7 and nobody said a thing. My 6 year old kindergartener only thought it was unfair he got to turn 7 first. Someone will always have to be first. My 5th grader is with kids already turning 12. Again, nobody says a thing and the other kids just wish it was their birthday. The insecurity is on the parent's side, not the kids.

+1

It doesn’t happen in real life. One of the most well-liked, nicest kids in my DCs elementary class was a Feb. kid who was a year older. That kid could not have been more well-liked if he tried. And he was the oldest by literally months.

You don't see an issue with having 5 year olds in a class with 7 year olds?

Nope. Look at Montessori programs where there are blended age groups for classes. It’s fine and in fact there are even tangible benefits (older children serving as peer mentors and younger kids learning from them).

Don’t some of you have kids with older siblings? Do they spend time together or do you shelter the younger child from their older sibling too? Seriously, what is the big deal with kids of different ages being in the same class? What a strange issue to fixate on.

Kids should learn how to be with peers of different ages and abilities. That’s part of life.

Maybe your 7 year old should learn to be in class with kids his own age? My 13 year old is with a 15 year old in 8th grade. It is ludicrous. Trust me, my son is not learning beneficial things from his older classmate.

I thought redshirted kids were so unpopular and reviled. Weird that your darling seems so drawn to this one classmate.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This thread is fascinating. We were planning to hold back child who will turn 5 at the end of June. He seems much more comfortable playing with younger kids and withdraws with kids his age. Ready academically but not socially? I didn’t realize it would be looked down upon.

It’s not looked down on by normal people. DCUM is not a good representative of normal people, unfortunately. But you will be fine.

Naive woman.

+2 Definitely looked down on, even if it is behind your back. Just being honest. May seems a stretch for redshirting.

+3

I'll bet you gossiping, snide, nasty people hold yourselves out to be the "better" families and think awfully highly of yourselves despite how you talk about innocent children. Please do call redshirted kids out so you can alert everyone to what kind of foul people you really are.

Pot calling the kettle.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:May is too old. Down the road, kids will begin to notice how much older he is and think he must have been held back. He will be almost a year and a half older than some classmates. There was a kid at our school who was redshirted with a May birthday and he stood out as too old. Ge will turn 7 while in kindergarten! I’m surprised schools allow this. There should be a cut off at some point.

This doesn't happen. I know you like to think it does, but it doesn't and kids do not care about this at all. Only nosy busybody parents.

Oh yes it happens.

No, it really doesn't. I was just at a birthday party for a kindergartener turning 7 and nobody said a thing. My 6 year old kindergartener only thought it was unfair he got to turn 7 first. Someone will always have to be first. My 5th grader is with kids already turning 12. Again, nobody says a thing and the other kids just wish it was their birthday. The insecurity is on the parent's side, not the kids.

+1

It doesn’t happen in real life. One of the most well-liked, nicest kids in my DCs elementary class was a Feb. kid who was a year older. That kid could not have been more well-liked if he tried. And he was the oldest by literally months.

You don't see an issue with having 5 year olds in a class with 7 year olds?

Nope. Look at Montessori programs where there are blended age groups for classes. It’s fine and in fact there are even tangible benefits (older children serving as peer mentors and younger kids learning from them).

Don’t some of you have kids with older siblings? Do they spend time together or do you shelter the younger child from their older sibling too? Seriously, what is the big deal with kids of different ages being in the same class? What a strange issue to fixate on.

Kids should learn how to be with peers of different ages and abilities. That’s part of life.

Maybe your 7 year old should learn to be in class with kids his own age? My 13 year old is with a 15 year old in 8th grade. It is ludicrous. Trust me, my son is not learning beneficial things from his older classmate.

I thought redshirted kids were so unpopular and reviled. Weird that your darling seems so drawn to this one classmate.

Are any others 15 years old around 13 years old?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This thread is fascinating. We were planning to hold back child who will turn 5 at the end of June. He seems much more comfortable playing with younger kids and withdraws with kids his age. Ready academically but not socially? I didn’t realize it would be looked down upon.

It’s not looked down on by normal people. DCUM is not a good representative of normal people, unfortunately. But you will be fine.

Naive woman.

+2 Definitely looked down on, even if it is behind your back. Just being honest. May seems a stretch for redshirting.

+3

I'll bet you gossiping, snide, nasty people hold yourselves out to be the "better" families and think awfully highly of yourselves despite how you talk about innocent children. Please do call redshirted kids out so you can alert everyone to what kind of foul people you really are.

Pot calling the kettle.

Are you admitting to being a child on this board? Are you on your mom's phone? Because we are talking about children.