Redshirting my son for pre-k - May birthday

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:May is too old. Down the road, kids will begin to notice how much older he is and think he must have been held back. He will be almost a year and a half older than some classmates. There was a kid at our school who was redshirted with a May birthday and he stood out as too old. Ge will turn 7 while in kindergarten! I’m surprised schools allow this. There should be a cut off at some point.

This doesn't happen. I know you like to think it does, but it doesn't and kids do not care about this at all. Only nosy busybody parents.

Oh yes it happens.

No, it really doesn't. I was just at a birthday party for a kindergartener turning 7 and nobody said a thing. My 6 year old kindergartener only thought it was unfair he got to turn 7 first. Someone will always have to be first. My 5th grader is with kids already turning 12. Again, nobody says a thing and the other kids just wish it was their birthday. The insecurity is on the parent's side, not the kids.

+1

It does happen later on when the kids get get older.

It doesn’t happen in real life. One of the most well-liked, nicest kids in my DCs elementary class was a Feb. kid who was a year older. That kid could not have been more well-liked if he tried. And he was the oldest by literally months.

You put your comment in the wrong place but I will respond anyhow. The well-liked kid February oldest kid in my DCs elementary class is now a very well-liked junior in high school, who is also going to have a lot of great college options.

I have no idea why you are making up this odd fantasy of exclusion but it is just that: an odd fantasy not based remotely on real life.

And what makes you think the outcome would have been different if he went on time.

Uh, I’m not saying that it would have been different? That’s an entirely different argument. You are the one insisting that redshirted kids are excluded or harassed or what have you, and all I’m saying is that as a parent of teens, I haven’t seen that at all. And specifically, the kid I know who was months older was very well-liked. You are the one claiming that he was going to get excluded or disliked because of his age, which (a) didn’t happen to the kid I know and (b) have you ever actually met a group of human children? I’m sort of skeptical that you spend any time with children at all tbh.

I am saying its very odd and yes, some kids are uncomfortable with it as usually kids are held back for academics, sports or behavioral issues and they are not grade appropriate for their age. My kid will absolutely comment when at 12, a child is turning 14 in 7th grade as they very much stand out. I feel bad for kids who are held back as their parents are either not willing to help them succeed and take the easy route or they have real delays and generally the parents aren't helping (baring real special needs where there is justification to hold back). Sports and "immaturity" are not reasons to hold back and if any child is 5 and mature its a huge red flag to something wrong.

Well, yes, I certainly believe your kid makes comments. But most don’t. You want to encourage exclusionary behavior and so your child acts that way, but I assure you that most kids are better raised than that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:May is too old. Down the road, kids will begin to notice how much older he is and think he must have been held back. He will be almost a year and a half older than some classmates. There was a kid at our school who was redshirted with a May birthday and he stood out as too old. Ge will turn 7 while in kindergarten! I’m surprised schools allow this. There should be a cut off at some point.

This doesn't happen. I know you like to think it does, but it doesn't and kids do not care about this at all. Only nosy busybody parents.

Oh yes it happens.

No, it really doesn't. I was just at a birthday party for a kindergartener turning 7 and nobody said a thing. My 6 year old kindergartener only thought it was unfair he got to turn 7 first. Someone will always have to be first. My 5th grader is with kids already turning 12. Again, nobody says a thing and the other kids just wish it was their birthday. The insecurity is on the parent's side, not the kids.

+1

It doesn’t happen in real life. One of the most well-liked, nicest kids in my DCs elementary class was a Feb. kid who was a year older. That kid could not have been more well-liked if he tried. And he was the oldest by literally months.

You don't see an issue with having 5 year olds in a class with 7 year olds?

I’m the PP who had the well-liked kid who was a Feb. birthday and therefore months older in my DCs class. The answer is no, not really. I didn’t care back in elementary and I don’t care now, with teens. I have never spent any emotional energy on the ages of other kids in my kids’ classrooms. There are far more important issues to worry about.

Having a full two year difference is very unusual. I have multiple kids and although they had redshirted kids in their classes over the years, typically those kids were born within a few months or weeks of the cutoff. So, maybe 14-16 months age difference versus 12? I can’t get worked up about that. I’m assuming that for larger age gaps, there was some reason more complex than typical redshirting but I don’t gossip about children and it’s not my business.

My kids are teens now and whether they have redshirted friends could not be less of an issue for me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:May is too old. Down the road, kids will begin to notice how much older he is and think he must have been held back. He will be almost a year and a half older than some classmates. There was a kid at our school who was redshirted with a May birthday and he stood out as too old. Ge will turn 7 while in kindergarten! I’m surprised schools allow this. There should be a cut off at some point.

This doesn't happen. I know you like to think it does, but it doesn't and kids do not care about this at all. Only nosy busybody parents.

Oh yes it happens.

No, it really doesn't. I was just at a birthday party for a kindergartener turning 7 and nobody said a thing. My 6 year old kindergartener only thought it was unfair he got to turn 7 first. Someone will always have to be first. My 5th grader is with kids already turning 12. Again, nobody says a thing and the other kids just wish it was their birthday. The insecurity is on the parent's side, not the kids.

+1

It does happen later on when the kids get get older.

It doesn’t happen in real life. One of the most well-liked, nicest kids in my DCs elementary class was a Feb. kid who was a year older. That kid could not have been more well-liked if he tried. And he was the oldest by literally months.

You put your comment in the wrong place but I will respond anyhow. The well-liked kid February oldest kid in my DCs elementary class is now a very well-liked junior in high school, who is also going to have a lot of great college options.

I have no idea why you are making up this odd fantasy of exclusion but it is just that: an odd fantasy not based remotely on real life.

And what makes you think the outcome would have been different if he went on time.

Uh, I’m not saying that it would have been different? That’s an entirely different argument. You are the one insisting that redshirted kids are excluded or harassed or what have you, and all I’m saying is that as a parent of teens, I haven’t seen that at all. And specifically, the kid I know who was months older was very well-liked. You are the one claiming that he was going to get excluded or disliked because of his age, which (a) didn’t happen to the kid I know and (b) have you ever actually met a group of human children? I’m sort of skeptical that you spend any time with children at all tbh.

I am saying its very odd and yes, some kids are uncomfortable with it as usually kids are held back for academics, sports or behavioral issues and they are not grade appropriate for their age. My kid will absolutely comment when at 12, a child is turning 14 in 7th grade as they very much stand out. I feel bad for kids who are held back as their parents are either not willing to help them succeed and take the easy route or they have real delays and generally the parents aren't helping (baring real special needs where there is justification to hold back). Sports and "immaturity" are not reasons to hold back and if any child is 5 and mature its a huge red flag to something wrong.

Well, yes, I certainly believe your kid makes comments. But most don’t. You want to encourage exclusionary behavior and so your child acts that way, but I assure you that most kids are better raised than that.

We have never excluded anyone including large parties pre Covid but I’m guessing you have. But, now that I have preteens, I don’t want them with kids almost two years older as what is appropriate for older kids is different. The behavior on things like discord is horrible with some of those older kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:May is too old. Down the road, kids will begin to notice how much older he is and think he must have been held back. He will be almost a year and a half older than some classmates. There was a kid at our school who was redshirted with a May birthday and he stood out as too old. Ge will turn 7 while in kindergarten! I’m surprised schools allow this. There should be a cut off at some point.

This doesn't happen. I know you like to think it does, but it doesn't and kids do not care about this at all. Only nosy busybody parents.

Oh yes it happens.

No, it really doesn't. I was just at a birthday party for a kindergartener turning 7 and nobody said a thing. My 6 year old kindergartener only thought it was unfair he got to turn 7 first. Someone will always have to be first. My 5th grader is with kids already turning 12. Again, nobody says a thing and the other kids just wish it was their birthday. The insecurity is on the parent's side, not the kids.

+1

It doesn’t happen in real life. One of the most well-liked, nicest kids in my DCs elementary class was a Feb. kid who was a year older. That kid could not have been more well-liked if he tried. And he was the oldest by literally months.

You don't see an issue with having 5 year olds in a class with 7 year olds?

I’m the PP who had the well-liked kid who was a Feb. birthday and therefore months older in my DCs class. The answer is no, not really. I didn’t care back in elementary and I don’t care now, with teens. I have never spent any emotional energy on the ages of other kids in my kids’ classrooms. There are far more important issues to worry about.

Having a full two year difference is very unusual. I have multiple kids and although they had redshirted kids in their classes over the years, typically those kids were born within a few months or weeks of the cutoff. So, maybe 14-16 months age difference versus 12? I can’t get worked up about that. I’m assuming that for larger age gaps, there was some reason more complex than typical redshirting but I don’t gossip about children and it’s not my business.

My kids are teens now and whether they have redshirted friends could not be less of an issue for me.

The discussion is not august kids held back. 16 months is a huge difference.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:May is too old. Down the road, kids will begin to notice how much older he is and think he must have been held back. He will be almost a year and a half older than some classmates. There was a kid at our school who was redshirted with a May birthday and he stood out as too old. Ge will turn 7 while in kindergarten! I’m surprised schools allow this. There should be a cut off at some point.

This doesn't happen. I know you like to think it does, but it doesn't and kids do not care about this at all. Only nosy busybody parents.

Oh yes it happens.

No, it really doesn't. I was just at a birthday party for a kindergartener turning 7 and nobody said a thing. My 6 year old kindergartener only thought it was unfair he got to turn 7 first. Someone will always have to be first. My 5th grader is with kids already turning 12. Again, nobody says a thing and the other kids just wish it was their birthday. The insecurity is on the parent's side, not the kids.

+1

It does happen later on when the kids get get older.

It doesn’t happen in real life. One of the most well-liked, nicest kids in my DCs elementary class was a Feb. kid who was a year older. That kid could not have been more well-liked if he tried. And he was the oldest by literally months.

You put your comment in the wrong place but I will respond anyhow. The well-liked kid February oldest kid in my DCs elementary class is now a very well-liked junior in high school, who is also going to have a lot of great college options.

I have no idea why you are making up this odd fantasy of exclusion but it is just that: an odd fantasy not based remotely on real life.

And what makes you think the outcome would have been different if he went on time.

Uh, I’m not saying that it would have been different? That’s an entirely different argument. You are the one insisting that redshirted kids are excluded or harassed or what have you, and all I’m saying is that as a parent of teens, I haven’t seen that at all. And specifically, the kid I know who was months older was very well-liked. You are the one claiming that he was going to get excluded or disliked because of his age, which (a) didn’t happen to the kid I know and (b) have you ever actually met a group of human children? I’m sort of skeptical that you spend any time with children at all tbh.

I am saying its very odd and yes, some kids are uncomfortable with it as usually kids are held back for academics, sports or behavioral issues and they are not grade appropriate for their age. My kid will absolutely comment when at 12, a child is turning 14 in 7th grade as they very much stand out. I feel bad for kids who are held back as their parents are either not willing to help them succeed and take the easy route or they have real delays and generally the parents aren't helping (baring real special needs where there is justification to hold back). Sports and "immaturity" are not reasons to hold back and if any child is 5 and mature its a huge red flag to something wrong.

Well, yes, I certainly believe your kid makes comments. But most don’t. You want to encourage exclusionary behavior and so your child acts that way, but I assure you that most kids are better raised than that.

We have never excluded anyone including large parties pre Covid but I’m guessing you have. But, now that I have preteens, I don’t want them with kids almost two years older as what is appropriate for older kids is different. The behavior on things like discord is horrible with some of those older kids.

Well good luck with that! And it’s not 2 years difference. Math is hard!

[Anonymous]

DCUM anti-redshirters are DCUM-famous for their inability to do math. You can explain the math over and over and they still don’t get it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:May is too old. Down the road, kids will begin to notice how much older he is and think he must have been held back. He will be almost a year and a half older than some classmates. There was a kid at our school who was redshirted with a May birthday and he stood out as too old. Ge will turn 7 while in kindergarten! I’m surprised schools allow this. There should be a cut off at some point.

This doesn't happen. I know you like to think it does, but it doesn't and kids do not care about this at all. Only nosy busybody parents.

Oh yes it happens.

No, it really doesn't. I was just at a birthday party for a kindergartener turning 7 and nobody said a thing. My 6 year old kindergartener only thought it was unfair he got to turn 7 first. Someone will always have to be first. My 5th grader is with kids already turning 12. Again, nobody says a thing and the other kids just wish it was their birthday. The insecurity is on the parent's side, not the kids.

+1

It doesn’t happen in real life. One of the most well-liked, nicest kids in my DCs elementary class was a Feb. kid who was a year older. That kid could not have been more well-liked if he tried. And he was the oldest by literally months.

You don't see an issue with having 5 year olds in a class with 7 year olds?

I’m the PP who had the well-liked kid who was a Feb. birthday and therefore months older in my DCs class. The answer is no, not really. I didn’t care back in elementary and I don’t care now, with teens. I have never spent any emotional energy on the ages of other kids in my kids’ classrooms. There are far more important issues to worry about.

Having a full two year difference is very unusual. I have multiple kids and although they had redshirted kids in their classes over the years, typically those kids were born within a few months or weeks of the cutoff. So, maybe 14-16 months age difference versus 12? I can’t get worked up about that. I’m assuming that for larger age gaps, there was some reason more complex than typical redshirting but I don’t gossip about children and it’s not my business.

My kids are teens now and whether they have redshirted friends could not be less of an issue for me.

The discussion is not august kids held back. 16 months is a huge difference.

Maybe to you. I didn’t care, and neither did my kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:May is too old. Down the road, kids will begin to notice how much older he is and think he must have been held back. He will be almost a year and a half older than some classmates. There was a kid at our school who was redshirted with a May birthday and he stood out as too old. Ge will turn 7 while in kindergarten! I’m surprised schools allow this. There should be a cut off at some point.

This doesn't happen. I know you like to think it does, but it doesn't and kids do not care about this at all. Only nosy busybody parents.

Oh yes it happens.

No, it really doesn't. I was just at a birthday party for a kindergartener turning 7 and nobody said a thing. My 6 year old kindergartener only thought it was unfair he got to turn 7 first. Someone will always have to be first. My 5th grader is with kids already turning 12. Again, nobody says a thing and the other kids just wish it was their birthday. The insecurity is on the parent's side, not the kids.

+1

It does happen later on when the kids get get older.

It doesn’t happen in real life. One of the most well-liked, nicest kids in my DCs elementary class was a Feb. kid who was a year older. That kid could not have been more well-liked if he tried. And he was the oldest by literally months.

You put your comment in the wrong place but I will respond anyhow. The well-liked kid February oldest kid in my DCs elementary class is now a very well-liked junior in high school, who is also going to have a lot of great college options.

I have no idea why you are making up this odd fantasy of exclusion but it is just that: an odd fantasy not based remotely on real life.

And what makes you think the outcome would have been different if he went on time.

Uh, I’m not saying that it would have been different? That’s an entirely different argument. You are the one insisting that redshirted kids are excluded or harassed or what have you, and all I’m saying is that as a parent of teens, I haven’t seen that at all. And specifically, the kid I know who was months older was very well-liked. You are the one claiming that he was going to get excluded or disliked because of his age, which (a) didn’t happen to the kid I know and (b) have you ever actually met a group of human children? I’m sort of skeptical that you spend any time with children at all tbh.

I am saying its very odd and yes, some kids are uncomfortable with it as usually kids are held back for academics, sports or behavioral issues and they are not grade appropriate for their age. My kid will absolutely comment when at 12, a child is turning 14 in 7th grade as they very much stand out. I feel bad for kids who are held back as their parents are either not willing to help them succeed and take the easy route or they have real delays and generally the parents aren't helping (baring real special needs where there is justification to hold back). Sports and "immaturity" are not reasons to hold back and if any child is 5 and mature its a huge red flag to something wrong.

Well, yes, I certainly believe your kid makes comments. But most don’t. You want to encourage exclusionary behavior and so your child acts that way, but I assure you that most kids are better raised than that.

We have never excluded anyone including large parties pre Covid but I’m guessing you have. But, now that I have preteens, I don’t want them with kids almost two years older as what is appropriate for older kids is different. The behavior on things like discord is horrible with some of those older kids.

Land the helicopter, lady.

[Anonymous]

Agreed - May is too much - summer birthdays. OP you are desperate

Anonymous wrote:PP, I would say the boys are on the older side in that birthdays in August-September are redshirted normally. A May birthday is an outlier.

a

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I did not red shirt my May kid and he was always 1 step behind. It was not earth shattering but it was clear he could have used another year. Most kids weren’t 1 month older most weeks 6-9 months older. It was obvious in 3rd, It was worst in middle school.

The problem was he was tall, personable and athletic… so he seemed more mature in K-5, but he clearly struggled socially and academically (except in math).

Just redshirt him.

Sound like you child was delayed regardless.

Well he ended up in T30 college so no.

That’s not saying much when as he was held back.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This thread is fascinating. We were planning to hold back child who will turn 5 at the end of June. He seems much more comfortable playing with younger kids and withdraws with kids his age. Ready academically but not socially? I didn’t realize it would be looked down upon.

It’s not looked down on by normal people. DCUM is not a good representative of normal people, unfortunately. But you will be fine.

Naive woman.

[Anonymous]

OP here - a lot of input that really has not made me feel better. I have heard consistently that June 1 is the cut off for redshirting. His current teacher did recommend that he repeat pre-k but I suspect it has nothing to do with his age.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Agreed - May is too much - summer birthdays. OP you are desperate

Anonymous wrote:PP, I would say the boys are on the older side in that birthdays in August-September are redshirted normally. A May birthday is an outlier.

a

My son attends a local private school. He has a late August birthday and went on time, as did 2 other boys in his class. There are a handful of schools that encourage redshirting, but ours is not one. Redshirting a May birthday seems extreme, even at a school where redshirting is common.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:May is too old. Down the road, kids will begin to notice how much older he is and think he must have been held back. He will be almost a year and a half older than some classmates. There was a kid at our school who was redshirted with a May birthday and he stood out as too old. Ge will turn 7 while in kindergarten! I’m surprised schools allow this. There should be a cut off at some point.

This doesn't happen. I know you like to think it does, but it doesn't and kids do not care about this at all. Only nosy busybody parents.

Oh yes it happens.

No, it really doesn't. I was just at a birthday party for a kindergartener turning 7 and nobody said a thing. My 6 year old kindergartener only thought it was unfair he got to turn 7 first. Someone will always have to be first. My 5th grader is with kids already turning 12. Again, nobody says a thing and the other kids just wish it was their birthday. The insecurity is on the parent's side, not the kids.

Kids talk, just in private. My kid will tell me how odd it is a kid two years older is in the same grade.

Yes, the redshirted kid is always regarded as such when the kids and even parents talk. They even call him out on it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This thread is fascinating. We were planning to hold back child who will turn 5 at the end of June. He seems much more comfortable playing with younger kids and withdraws with kids his age. Ready academically but not socially? I didn’t realize it would be looked down upon.

It’s not looked down on by normal people. DCUM is not a good representative of normal people, unfortunately. But you will be fine.

Naive woman.

Ok Discord mom.