SAHMs that never return to workforce?

[Anonymous]

I just assume anyone who drops out of the workforce and stays dropped out must have money, and good on them for being able to use it to make the life they want for themselves!

Who cares what anyone thinks of your choice - you rolled your dice and bought yourself freedom and flexibility. You won!

[Anonymous]

You should do you. The value that you add to your family and kids is difficult to measure - but it's significant. Society should value it more.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You should do you. The value that you add to your family and kids is difficult to measure - but it's significant. Society should value it more.

Who cares what "society" thinks. The value is entirely maintained within the family system - it's not like "society" reaps some benefit from this decision. But there is no need for external validation, is there?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

I mean, it’s okay to question OP’s apparent haplessness in the birth control department. There are so many damn options. One mistake, okay. Multiple mistakes? Sloppy.

Not sloppy. It happens. My OB wanted to do a study on our super fertility!

Off topic, but is “super fertility” really the term for this…? More like “body doesn’t function as expected on birth control.” What kind were you using? I’ve gotten pregnant 3 times in the first month trying and other than that have never been pregnant. So I must be pretty fertile AND my birth control has worked for 15+ years.

See this on super fertility:

https://www.refinery29.com/en-gb/what-is-super-fertility-recurrent-miscarriages

Right, that’s not what OP says she has - is that your point? Birth control would prevent was is being described in that article.
I just have a problem with this idea of “I’m so fertile, birth control just doesn’t work for me!” I really don’t think that’s an accurate way of looking at it.

+1 this really drives me crazy. Fertility is binary, you are either capable of getting pregnant or you are not. It's not a spectrum. Someone people aren't magically able to thwart birth control.

You are absolutely wrong. Fertility is NOT binary. See number 10. Women whose birth control fails are “very, very fertile”.

https://www.bustle.com/wellness/signs-you-might-be-super-fertile-because-your-body-can-tell-you-a-lot

Also:
https://natalist.com/blogs/learn/signs-of-high-fertility

DP, and those sources aren't great, but of course fertility is on a spectrum. I'm one of those woman who, when not on hormonal contraception, started menstruating at the exact same time of day, every 28 days. I got pregnant within the first month of trying for each of our three kids, when I was between the ages of 35 and 40 years. No miscarriages. Compare that with women who do get pregnant, but it takes 6-12 months of trying, or women who get pregnant with interventions. Now, if birth control fails repeatedly, that's almost certainly human error, coupled with someone on the more fertile end of the spectrum.

As for this thread: do what works for your family, OP. As long as you don't need to tell yourself "most families function better with a SAHP" or some other rationalization to be happy, it's no one's business but your own.

You're kind of proving the point, PP. You are clearly fertile but somehow made it all the way to 35 without multiple (or any?) accidental pregnancies. Clearly your birth control was effective.
I've also gotten pregnant 3 times on the first try and other than that, never had an accident. I've had some situations where, if I were not on top of them, I probably would've had an accident. I've had 3 IUD's placed, and TWO of them had issues. If I got pregnant on those IUD's, it wouldn't be because I'm super fertile - it's because something about my body makes it hard to place an IUD correctly.
Birth control pills block ovulation. It doesn't matter what your egg quality is or the quality of your uterine lining - if you get pregnant on birth control, it's because it failed to stop your ovulation. Not because your eggs are just "that good."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

I mean, it’s okay to question OP’s apparent haplessness in the birth control department. There are so many damn options. One mistake, okay. Multiple mistakes? Sloppy.

Not sloppy. It happens. My OB wanted to do a study on our super fertility!

Off topic, but is “super fertility” really the term for this…? More like “body doesn’t function as expected on birth control.” What kind were you using? I’ve gotten pregnant 3 times in the first month trying and other than that have never been pregnant. So I must be pretty fertile AND my birth control has worked for 15+ years.

See this on super fertility:

https://www.refinery29.com/en-gb/what-is-super-fertility-recurrent-miscarriages

Right, that’s not what OP says she has - is that your point? Birth control would prevent was is being described in that article.
I just have a problem with this idea of “I’m so fertile, birth control just doesn’t work for me!” I really don’t think that’s an accurate way of looking at it.

+1 this really drives me crazy. Fertility is binary, you are either capable of getting pregnant or you are not. It's not a spectrum. Someone people aren't magically able to thwart birth control.

You are absolutely wrong. Fertility is NOT binary. See number 10. Women whose birth control fails are “very, very fertile”.

https://www.bustle.com/wellness/signs-you-might-be-super-fertile-because-your-body-can-tell-you-a-lot

Also:
https://natalist.com/blogs/learn/signs-of-high-fertility

DP, and those sources aren't great, but of course fertility is on a spectrum. I'm one of those woman who, when not on hormonal contraception, started menstruating at the exact same time of day, every 28 days. I got pregnant within the first month of trying for each of our three kids, when I was between the ages of 35 and 40 years. No miscarriages. Compare that with women who do get pregnant, but it takes 6-12 months of trying, or women who get pregnant with interventions. Now, if birth control fails repeatedly, that's almost certainly human error, coupled with someone on the more fertile end of the spectrum.

As for this thread: do what works for your family, OP. As long as you don't need to tell yourself "most families function better with a SAHP" or some other rationalization to be happy, it's no one's business but your own.

You're kind of proving the point, PP. You are clearly fertile but somehow made it all the way to 35 without multiple (or any?) accidental pregnancies. Clearly your birth control was effective.
I've also gotten pregnant 3 times on the first try and other than that, never had an accident. I've had some situations where, if I were not on top of them, I probably would've had an accident. I've had 3 IUD's placed, and TWO of them had issues. If I got pregnant on those IUD's, it wouldn't be because I'm super fertile - it's because something about my body makes it hard to place an IUD correctly.
Birth control pills block ovulation. It doesn't matter what your egg quality is or the quality of your uterine lining - if you get pregnant on birth control, it's because it failed to stop your ovulation. Not because your eggs are just "that good."

I think PP is confusing being fertile with not knowing how to use birth control properly. I agree with you, which is why I said if BC fails repeatedly it's likely human error or, as in your case, device error, which is not uncommon for IUDs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You should do you. The value that you add to your family and kids is difficult to measure - but it's significant. Society should value it more.

Who cares what "society" thinks. The value is entirely maintained within the family system - it's not like "society" reaps some benefit from this decision. But there is no need for external validation, is there?

Society absolutely benefits from this decision.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In 2022, family structures and lifestyles have changed, cost of living has gone up, two income household isn’t a choice, it’s a necessity. To be be brutally honest, not many women have such choices. Not everyone out there is doing meaningful or interesting work, people ate trying to make ends meet or maintain life styles even if they hate their jobs and lives or if personal or family life is suffering. Mental health is in crisis mode for all age groups.

I definitely hear what your saying. And I know I’m very fortunate to have this choice. But when I first made this decision over a decade ago, it wasn’t a choice. Child care was more than my salary and I kept getting pregnant in spite of birth control. I’m THAT statistic. We made many sacrifices and were dirt poor for a long time. My husband can be proud of getting us to this point! He has worked hard to get us here.

Don’t apologize, be proud of what you two have built together.

I mean, it’s okay to question OP’s apparent haplessness in the birth control department. There are so many damn options. One mistake, okay. Multiple mistakes? Sloppy.

Not sloppy. It happens. My OB wanted to do a study on our super fertility!

Off topic, but is “super fertility” really the term for this…? More like “body doesn’t function as expected on birth control.” What kind were you using? I’ve gotten pregnant 3 times in the first month trying and other than that have never been pregnant. So I must be pretty fertile AND my birth control has worked for 15+ years.

See this on super fertility:

https://www.refinery29.com/en-gb/what-is-super-fertility-recurrent-miscarriages

Right, that’s not what OP says she has - is that your point? Birth control would prevent was is being described in that article.
I just have a problem with this idea of “I’m so fertile, birth control just doesn’t work for me!” I really don’t think that’s an accurate way of looking at it.

+1 this really drives me crazy. Fertility is binary, you are either capable of getting pregnant or you are not. It's not a spectrum. Someone people aren't magically able to thwart birth control.

You are absolutely wrong. Fertility is NOT binary. See number 10. Women whose birth control fails are “very, very fertile”.

https://www.bustle.com/wellness/signs-you-might-be-super-fertile-because-your-body-can-tell-you-a-lot

Also:
https://natalist.com/blogs/learn/signs-of-high-fertility

This makes absolutely zero sense. If birth control fails it's because there was a user error or problem with the birth control. There are no "super eggs" that can magically work their way past an IUD or somehow counteract a birth control pill. Do you hear yourself?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In 2022, family structures and lifestyles have changed, cost of living has gone up, two income household isn’t a choice, it’s a necessity. To be be brutally honest, not many women have such choices. Not everyone out there is doing meaningful or interesting work, people ate trying to make ends meet or maintain life styles even if they hate their jobs and lives or if personal or family life is suffering. Mental health is in crisis mode for all age groups.

I definitely hear what your saying. And I know I’m very fortunate to have this choice. But when I first made this decision over a decade ago, it wasn’t a choice. Child care was more than my salary and I kept getting pregnant in spite of birth control. I’m THAT statistic. We made many sacrifices and were dirt poor for a long time. My husband can be proud of getting us to this point! He has worked hard to get us here.

Don’t apologize, be proud of what you two have built together.

I mean, it’s okay to question OP’s apparent haplessness in the birth control department. There are so many damn options. One mistake, okay. Multiple mistakes? Sloppy.

Not sloppy. It happens. My OB wanted to do a study on our super fertility!

Off topic, but is “super fertility” really the term for this…? More like “body doesn’t function as expected on birth control.” What kind were you using? I’ve gotten pregnant 3 times in the first month trying and other than that have never been pregnant. So I must be pretty fertile AND my birth control has worked for 15+ years.

See this on super fertility:

https://www.refinery29.com/en-gb/what-is-super-fertility-recurrent-miscarriages

Right, that’s not what OP says she has - is that your point? Birth control would prevent was is being described in that article.
I just have a problem with this idea of “I’m so fertile, birth control just doesn’t work for me!” I really don’t think that’s an accurate way of looking at it.

+1 this really drives me crazy. Fertility is binary, you are either capable of getting pregnant or you are not. It's not a spectrum. Someone people aren't magically able to thwart birth control.

You are absolutely wrong. Fertility is NOT binary. See number 10. Women whose birth control fails are “very, very fertile”.

https://www.bustle.com/wellness/signs-you-might-be-super-fertile-because-your-body-can-tell-you-a-lot

Also:
https://natalist.com/blogs/learn/signs-of-high-fertility

DP, and those sources aren't great, but of course fertility is on a spectrum. I'm one of those woman who, when not on hormonal contraception, started menstruating at the exact same time of day, every 28 days. I got pregnant within the first month of trying for each of our three kids, when I was between the ages of 35 and 40 years. No miscarriages. Compare that with women who do get pregnant, but it takes 6-12 months of trying, or women who get pregnant with interventions. Now, if birth control fails repeatedly, that's almost certainly human error, coupled with someone on the more fertile end of the spectrum.

As for this thread: do what works for your family, OP. As long as you don't need to tell yourself "most families function better with a SAHP" or some other rationalization to be happy, it's no one's business but your own.

Except that the women for whom it took 6 months to get pregnant are...still fertile. Again, it's binary. Either you are capable of achieve one pregnancy or you are not. Just because it takes six months doesn't make someone infertile. Not being able to get pregnant ever makes someone infertile.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In 2022, family structures and lifestyles have changed, cost of living has gone up, two income household isn’t a choice, it’s a necessity. To be be brutally honest, not many women have such choices. Not everyone out there is doing meaningful or interesting work, people ate trying to make ends meet or maintain life styles even if they hate their jobs and lives or if personal or family life is suffering. Mental health is in crisis mode for all age groups.

I definitely hear what your saying. And I know I’m very fortunate to have this choice. But when I first made this decision over a decade ago, it wasn’t a choice. Child care was more than my salary and I kept getting pregnant in spite of birth control. I’m THAT statistic. We made many sacrifices and were dirt poor for a long time. My husband can be proud of getting us to this point! He has worked hard to get us here.

Don’t apologize, be proud of what you two have built together.

I mean, it’s okay to question OP’s apparent haplessness in the birth control department. There are so many damn options. One mistake, okay. Multiple mistakes? Sloppy.

Not sloppy. It happens. My OB wanted to do a study on our super fertility!

Off topic, but is “super fertility” really the term for this…? More like “body doesn’t function as expected on birth control.” What kind were you using? I’ve gotten pregnant 3 times in the first month trying and other than that have never been pregnant. So I must be pretty fertile AND my birth control has worked for 15+ years.

See this on super fertility:

https://www.refinery29.com/en-gb/what-is-super-fertility-recurrent-miscarriages

Right, that’s not what OP says she has - is that your point? Birth control would prevent was is being described in that article.
I just have a problem with this idea of “I’m so fertile, birth control just doesn’t work for me!” I really don’t think that’s an accurate way of looking at it.

+1 this really drives me crazy. Fertility is binary, you are either capable of getting pregnant or you are not. It's not a spectrum. Someone people aren't magically able to thwart birth control.

You are absolutely wrong. Fertility is NOT binary. See number 10. Women whose birth control fails are “very, very fertile”.

https://www.bustle.com/wellness/signs-you-might-be-super-fertile-because-your-body-can-tell-you-a-lot

Also:
https://natalist.com/blogs/learn/signs-of-high-fertility

DP, and those sources aren't great, but of course fertility is on a spectrum. I'm one of those woman who, when not on hormonal contraception, started menstruating at the exact same time of day, every 28 days. I got pregnant within the first month of trying for each of our three kids, when I was between the ages of 35 and 40 years. No miscarriages. Compare that with women who do get pregnant, but it takes 6-12 months of trying, or women who get pregnant with interventions. Now, if birth control fails repeatedly, that's almost certainly human error, coupled with someone on the more fertile end of the spectrum.

As for this thread: do what works for your family, OP. As long as you don't need to tell yourself "most families function better with a SAHP" or some other rationalization to be happy, it's no one's business but your own.

Except that the women for whom it took 6 months to get pregnant are...still fertile. Again, it's binary. Either you are capable of achieve one pregnancy or you are not. Just because it takes six months doesn't make someone infertile. Not being able to get pregnant ever makes someone infertile.

Reproductive endocrinologists would disagree with your definition. Infertile people can still sometimes get pregnant, but it is extremely rare. Your definitions are muddled and simplistic so please just stop.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In 2022, family structures and lifestyles have changed, cost of living has gone up, two income household isn’t a choice, it’s a necessity. To be be brutally honest, not many women have such choices. Not everyone out there is doing meaningful or interesting work, people ate trying to make ends meet or maintain life styles even if they hate their jobs and lives or if personal or family life is suffering. Mental health is in crisis mode for all age groups.

I definitely hear what your saying. And I know I’m very fortunate to have this choice. But when I first made this decision over a decade ago, it wasn’t a choice. Child care was more than my salary and I kept getting pregnant in spite of birth control. I’m THAT statistic. We made many sacrifices and were dirt poor for a long time. My husband can be proud of getting us to this point! He has worked hard to get us here.

Don’t apologize, be proud of what you two have built together.

I mean, it’s okay to question OP’s apparent haplessness in the birth control department. There are so many damn options. One mistake, okay. Multiple mistakes? Sloppy.

Not sloppy. It happens. My OB wanted to do a study on our super fertility!

Off topic, but is “super fertility” really the term for this…? More like “body doesn’t function as expected on birth control.” What kind were you using? I’ve gotten pregnant 3 times in the first month trying and other than that have never been pregnant. So I must be pretty fertile AND my birth control has worked for 15+ years.

See this on super fertility:

https://www.refinery29.com/en-gb/what-is-super-fertility-recurrent-miscarriages

Right, that’s not what OP says she has - is that your point? Birth control would prevent was is being described in that article.
I just have a problem with this idea of “I’m so fertile, birth control just doesn’t work for me!” I really don’t think that’s an accurate way of looking at it.

+1 this really drives me crazy. Fertility is binary, you are either capable of getting pregnant or you are not. It's not a spectrum. Someone people aren't magically able to thwart birth control.

You are absolutely wrong. Fertility is NOT binary. See number 10. Women whose birth control fails are “very, very fertile”.

https://www.bustle.com/wellness/signs-you-might-be-super-fertile-because-your-body-can-tell-you-a-lot

Also:
https://natalist.com/blogs/learn/signs-of-high-fertility

DP, and those sources aren't great, but of course fertility is on a spectrum. I'm one of those woman who, when not on hormonal contraception, started menstruating at the exact same time of day, every 28 days. I got pregnant within the first month of trying for each of our three kids, when I was between the ages of 35 and 40 years. No miscarriages. Compare that with women who do get pregnant, but it takes 6-12 months of trying, or women who get pregnant with interventions. Now, if birth control fails repeatedly, that's almost certainly human error, coupled with someone on the more fertile end of the spectrum.

As for this thread: do what works for your family, OP. As long as you don't need to tell yourself "most families function better with a SAHP" or some other rationalization to be happy, it's no one's business but your own.

Except that the women for whom it took 6 months to get pregnant are...still fertile. Again, it's binary. Either you are capable of achieve one pregnancy or you are not. Just because it takes six months doesn't make someone infertile. Not being able to get pregnant ever makes someone infertile.

NP here. Not true. There are a number of ways to be infertile. Bad eggs is a big one. But a lot of women with bad eggs can carry to term with other people's eggs even though they will never get pg with their own. I have severe hyperemesis gravidarum. I get pregnant super easily but will die if I do so and am therefore unable to carry to term. I also experience recurrent miscarriage. I've been half-pregnant dozens of times.

Not sure where you get your definition of infertility, but it doesn't square with anything I learned over as a patient for almost a decade. Maybe this is an issue of definition of terms?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In 2022, family structures and lifestyles have changed, cost of living has gone up, two income household isn’t a choice, it’s a necessity. To be be brutally honest, not many women have such choices. Not everyone out there is doing meaningful or interesting work, people ate trying to make ends meet or maintain life styles even if they hate their jobs and lives or if personal or family life is suffering. Mental health is in crisis mode for all age groups.

I definitely hear what your saying. And I know I’m very fortunate to have this choice. But when I first made this decision over a decade ago, it wasn’t a choice. Child care was more than my salary and I kept getting pregnant in spite of birth control. I’m THAT statistic. We made many sacrifices and were dirt poor for a long time. My husband can be proud of getting us to this point! He has worked hard to get us here.

Don’t apologize, be proud of what you two have built together.

I mean, it’s okay to question OP’s apparent haplessness in the birth control department. There are so many damn options. One mistake, okay. Multiple mistakes? Sloppy.

Not sloppy. It happens. My OB wanted to do a study on our super fertility!

Off topic, but is “super fertility” really the term for this…? More like “body doesn’t function as expected on birth control.” What kind were you using? I’ve gotten pregnant 3 times in the first month trying and other than that have never been pregnant. So I must be pretty fertile AND my birth control has worked for 15+ years.

See this on super fertility:

https://www.refinery29.com/en-gb/what-is-super-fertility-recurrent-miscarriages

Right, that’s not what OP says she has - is that your point? Birth control would prevent was is being described in that article.
I just have a problem with this idea of “I’m so fertile, birth control just doesn’t work for me!” I really don’t think that’s an accurate way of looking at it.

+1 this really drives me crazy. Fertility is binary, you are either capable of getting pregnant or you are not. It's not a spectrum. Someone people aren't magically able to thwart birth control.

You are absolutely wrong. Fertility is NOT binary. See number 10. Women whose birth control fails are “very, very fertile”.

https://www.bustle.com/wellness/signs-you-might-be-super-fertile-because-your-body-can-tell-you-a-lot

Also:
https://natalist.com/blogs/learn/signs-of-high-fertility

DP, and those sources aren't great, but of course fertility is on a spectrum. I'm one of those woman who, when not on hormonal contraception, started menstruating at the exact same time of day, every 28 days. I got pregnant within the first month of trying for each of our three kids, when I was between the ages of 35 and 40 years. No miscarriages. Compare that with women who do get pregnant, but it takes 6-12 months of trying, or women who get pregnant with interventions. Now, if birth control fails repeatedly, that's almost certainly human error, coupled with someone on the more fertile end of the spectrum.

As for this thread: do what works for your family, OP. As long as you don't need to tell yourself "most families function better with a SAHP" or some other rationalization to be happy, it's no one's business but your own.

Except that the women for whom it took 6 months to get pregnant are...still fertile. Again, it's binary. Either you are capable of achieve one pregnancy or you are not. Just because it takes six months doesn't make someone infertile. Not being able to get pregnant ever makes someone infertile.

NP here. Not true. There are a number of ways to be infertile. Bad eggs is a big one. But a lot of women with bad eggs can carry to term with other people's eggs even though they will never get pg with their own. I have severe hyperemesis gravidarum. I get pregnant super easily but will die if I do so and am therefore unable to carry to term. I also experience recurrent miscarriage. I've been half-pregnant dozens of times.

Not sure where you get your definition of infertility, but it doesn't square with anything I learned over as a patient for almost a decade. Maybe this is an issue of definition of terms?

PP here- I struggled to conceive and needed interventions to do so. I wouldn't not consider myself infertile because I have two children. That is offensive to people who are never able to have children, who, IMO, are actually infertile.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In 2022, family structures and lifestyles have changed, cost of living has gone up, two income household isn’t a choice, it’s a necessity. To be be brutally honest, not many women have such choices. Not everyone out there is doing meaningful or interesting work, people ate trying to make ends meet or maintain life styles even if they hate their jobs and lives or if personal or family life is suffering. Mental health is in crisis mode for all age groups.

I definitely hear what your saying. And I know I’m very fortunate to have this choice. But when I first made this decision over a decade ago, it wasn’t a choice. Child care was more than my salary and I kept getting pregnant in spite of birth control. I’m THAT statistic. We made many sacrifices and were dirt poor for a long time. My husband can be proud of getting us to this point! He has worked hard to get us here.

Don’t apologize, be proud of what you two have built together.

I mean, it’s okay to question OP’s apparent haplessness in the birth control department. There are so many damn options. One mistake, okay. Multiple mistakes? Sloppy.

Not sloppy. It happens. My OB wanted to do a study on our super fertility!

Off topic, but is “super fertility” really the term for this…? More like “body doesn’t function as expected on birth control.” What kind were you using? I’ve gotten pregnant 3 times in the first month trying and other than that have never been pregnant. So I must be pretty fertile AND my birth control has worked for 15+ years.

See this on super fertility:

https://www.refinery29.com/en-gb/what-is-super-fertility-recurrent-miscarriages

Right, that’s not what OP says she has - is that your point? Birth control would prevent was is being described in that article.
I just have a problem with this idea of “I’m so fertile, birth control just doesn’t work for me!” I really don’t think that’s an accurate way of looking at it.

+1 this really drives me crazy. Fertility is binary, you are either capable of getting pregnant or you are not. It's not a spectrum. Someone people aren't magically able to thwart birth control.

You are absolutely wrong. Fertility is NOT binary. See number 10. Women whose birth control fails are “very, very fertile”.

https://www.bustle.com/wellness/signs-you-might-be-super-fertile-because-your-body-can-tell-you-a-lot

Also:
https://natalist.com/blogs/learn/signs-of-high-fertility

DP, and those sources aren't great, but of course fertility is on a spectrum. I'm one of those woman who, when not on hormonal contraception, started menstruating at the exact same time of day, every 28 days. I got pregnant within the first month of trying for each of our three kids, when I was between the ages of 35 and 40 years. No miscarriages. Compare that with women who do get pregnant, but it takes 6-12 months of trying, or women who get pregnant with interventions. Now, if birth control fails repeatedly, that's almost certainly human error, coupled with someone on the more fertile end of the spectrum.

As for this thread: do what works for your family, OP. As long as you don't need to tell yourself "most families function better with a SAHP" or some other rationalization to be happy, it's no one's business but your own.

Except that the women for whom it took 6 months to get pregnant are...still fertile. Again, it's binary. Either you are capable of achieve one pregnancy or you are not. Just because it takes six months doesn't make someone infertile. Not being able to get pregnant ever makes someone infertile.

NP here. Not true. There are a number of ways to be infertile. Bad eggs is a big one. But a lot of women with bad eggs can carry to term with other people's eggs even though they will never get pg with their own. I have severe hyperemesis gravidarum. I get pregnant super easily but will die if I do so and am therefore unable to carry to term. I also experience recurrent miscarriage. I've been half-pregnant dozens of times.

Not sure where you get your definition of infertility, but it doesn't square with anything I learned over as a patient for almost a decade. Maybe this is an issue of definition of terms?

PP here- I struggled to conceive and needed interventions to do so. I wouldn't not consider myself infertile because I have two children. That is offensive to people who are never able to have children, who, IMO, are actually infertile.

Ah. I see. Well, that sounds like an emotional distinction that is meaningful to you. That is not an accurate description of the medical condition though. And as someone who was never able to give birth to children, I appreciate your concern for my feelings. But, I can assure you I'm not offended in the least.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Good for you. I never went back into work force! My children adore me, my husband loves me and all of thank me for staying home! I was so happy to be at home. It was my first choice! Money is not everything. I loved being there for everyone and everything. I loved being the go to person. It so worked for our family, no regrets ever. And now, the grandchildren are here all the time. Sweet life!

Says the non-earner who fully depended on her husband’s income. Wonder whether you’d have thought that way if he lost his income.

[Anonymous]

Infertility is not a wholesale description, it is a medical diagnosis. As with many diagnoses, at times the problem can be mitigated, and a couple
is able to conceive a child. If the same couple goes back and has the same problem conceiving, they are again diagnosed with infertility. If someone needed intervention to become pregnant, the medical community would describe their situation as infertility. Since this was all brought up in the context of the failure of a pharmaceutical, perhaps it’s best to keep to the medical definitions instead of going round and round on what someone thinks or feels infertility means.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In 2022, family structures and lifestyles have changed, cost of living has gone up, two income household isn’t a choice, it’s a necessity. To be be brutally honest, not many women have such choices. Not everyone out there is doing meaningful or interesting work, people ate trying to make ends meet or maintain life styles even if they hate their jobs and lives or if personal or family life is suffering. Mental health is in crisis mode for all age groups.

I definitely hear what your saying. And I know I’m very fortunate to have this choice. But when I first made this decision over a decade ago, it wasn’t a choice. Child care was more than my salary and I kept getting pregnant in spite of birth control. I’m THAT statistic. We made many sacrifices and were dirt poor for a long time. My husband can be proud of getting us to this point! He has worked hard to get us here.

Don’t apologize, be proud of what you two have built together.

I mean, it’s okay to question OP’s apparent haplessness in the birth control department. There are so many damn options. One mistake, okay. Multiple mistakes? Sloppy.

Not sloppy. It happens. My OB wanted to do a study on our super fertility!

Off topic, but is “super fertility” really the term for this…? More like “body doesn’t function as expected on birth control.” What kind were you using? I’ve gotten pregnant 3 times in the first month trying and other than that have never been pregnant. So I must be pretty fertile AND my birth control has worked for 15+ years.

See this on super fertility:

https://www.refinery29.com/en-gb/what-is-super-fertility-recurrent-miscarriages

Right, that’s not what OP says she has - is that your point? Birth control would prevent was is being described in that article.
I just have a problem with this idea of “I’m so fertile, birth control just doesn’t work for me!” I really don’t think that’s an accurate way of looking at it.

+1 this really drives me crazy. Fertility is binary, you are either capable of getting pregnant or you are not. It's not a spectrum. Someone people aren't magically able to thwart birth control.

You are absolutely wrong. Fertility is NOT binary. See number 10. Women whose birth control fails are “very, very fertile”.

https://www.bustle.com/wellness/signs-you-might-be-super-fertile-because-your-body-can-tell-you-a-lot

Also:
https://natalist.com/blogs/learn/signs-of-high-fertility

So up your contraceptive game. Duh.