Immigrant here with poor parents abroad

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op here. I’m just so depressed I’ve been crying all day because I feel so bad for my poor parents. I hate to see him so broke and defeated.

Ok, but have you done anything other than keep on giving them money? Look, if your intention really is to pay their debt, then you can buckle down and review some extreme frugality blogs and get it paid off. Try Mr. Money Mustache or Frugalwoods. But if there's a real, underlying problem going on that isn't just your dad getting laid off, that's different.

I think you need to take a very hard line with your adult sisters about their earnings and spending money, and get them out of the Gulf and into a place where they can earn more money.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You could pay off their debts but there seems to be little point in it if they are not actually willing to work afterwards.

So they can survive? That would be the point.

If none of these FIVE ADULTS are willing to have any job at all, they will just run up more debt and want OP to pay it.

OP, at least have them downsize to a one-bedroom apartment. Sorry but three bedrooms is not affordable for them and they should have realized it a lot earlier.

Op here. They’re rent right now is 3k a month in dollars. I make 63k here in the US and cannot pay their rent. They’ve accumulated about 30k in back rent over the past year and cannot vacate until they have paid it off. Whatever money I send goes into paying down the debt in addition to food for them. My mom never graduated college so she cannot work. My dad got laid off and cannot find work and he’s trying. My one sister finally got an internship that pays and will probably chip in some and my other sister also works and pays most of her salary towards their rent. But none of us collectively make enough yo pay off the passive loans and debt.

They just need to escape the Gulf country (probably UAE). Don’t waste more money trying to lay down a debt. Just run away and leave the country and go back to their home country (probably Bangladesh or a neighbor).

Exactly. Get them out (assuming they are in possession of their passports).

[Anonymous]

Didn't you already ask this? Not trying to be snide but wondering what changed?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Didn't you already ask this? Not trying to be snide but wondering what changed?

Op here. Nothing has changed. I don’t have money to give them a lump sum of 30-60k in dollars that they need to pay off their back rent from the past year, my little sisters school fees and pack up to leave.

I have been paying them about 1k a month which is about half my paycheck. My two sisters who live with my parents finally are bringing in some income, but again, at entry level salaries, they don’t make that much and both are contributing as much as they can/want to.

Together the three of us seem to just barely cover some of their current rent and food.

Meanwhile my father is deep in depression and is humiliated. He’s been asking the community there for money and no one wants to help. They can’t leave the expensive apartment until the back rent is paid off. Thus they can’t leave the country.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Didn't you already ask this? Not trying to be snide but wondering what changed?

Op here. Nothing has changed. I don’t have money to give them a lump sum of 30-60k in dollars that they need to pay off their back rent from the past year, my little sisters school fees and pack up to leave.

I have been paying them about 1k a month which is about half my paycheck. My two sisters who live with my parents finally are bringing in some income, but again, at entry level salaries, they don’t make that much and both are contributing as much as they can/want to.

Together the three of us seem to just barely cover some of their current rent and food.

Meanwhile my father is deep in depression and is humiliated. He’s been asking the community there for money and no one wants to help. They can’t leave the expensive apartment until the back rent is paid off. Thus they can’t leave the country.

Ok, there's no "want to" here. Tell your sisters they will pay as much as they absolutely can. They aren't kids anymore and this is what families do in a crisis.

Tell us again why your mom doesn't have a job?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Didn't you already ask this? Not trying to be snide but wondering what changed?

Op here. Nothing has changed. I don’t have money to give them a lump sum of 30-60k in dollars that they need to pay off their back rent from the past year, my little sisters school fees and pack up to leave.

I have been paying them about 1k a month which is about half my paycheck. My two sisters who live with my parents finally are bringing in some income, but again, at entry level salaries, they don’t make that much and both are contributing as much as they can/want to.

Together the three of us seem to just barely cover some of their current rent and food.

Meanwhile my father is deep in depression and is humiliated. He’s been asking the community there for money and no one wants to help. They can’t leave the expensive apartment until the back rent is paid off. Thus they can’t leave the country.

Ok, there's no "want to" here. Tell your sisters they will pay as much as they absolutely can. They aren't kids anymore and this is what families do in a crisis.

Tell us again why your mom doesn't have a job?

My mom has never worked a day in her life and can’t read or write she wants to work but no one would hire her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Didn't you already ask this? Not trying to be snide but wondering what changed?

Op here. Nothing has changed. I don’t have money to give them a lump sum of 30-60k in dollars that they need to pay off their back rent from the past year, my little sisters school fees and pack up to leave.

I have been paying them about 1k a month which is about half my paycheck. My two sisters who live with my parents finally are bringing in some income, but again, at entry level salaries, they don’t make that much and both are contributing as much as they can/want to.

Together the three of us seem to just barely cover some of their current rent and food.

Meanwhile my father is deep in depression and is humiliated. He’s been asking the community there for money and no one wants to help. They can’t leave the expensive apartment until the back rent is paid off. Thus they can’t leave the country.

Ok, there's no "want to" here. Tell your sisters they will pay as much as they absolutely can. They aren't kids anymore and this is what families do in a crisis.

Tell us again why your mom doesn't have a job?

My sisters are angry and bitter. They feel like did not sign up to be in this position and are upset that my dad put them in this situation by not saving. Little do they realize he gambled his own safety to ensure they got access to good schools.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Didn't you already ask this? Not trying to be snide but wondering what changed?

Op here. Nothing has changed. I don’t have money to give them a lump sum of 30-60k in dollars that they need to pay off their back rent from the past year, my little sisters school fees and pack up to leave.

I have been paying them about 1k a month which is about half my paycheck. My two sisters who live with my parents finally are bringing in some income, but again, at entry level salaries, they don’t make that much and both are contributing as much as they can/want to.

Together the three of us seem to just barely cover some of their current rent and food.

Meanwhile my father is deep in depression and is humiliated. He’s been asking the community there for money and no one wants to help. They can’t leave the expensive apartment until the back rent is paid off. Thus they can’t leave the country.

Ok, there's no "want to" here. Tell your sisters they will pay as much as they absolutely can. They aren't kids anymore and this is what families do in a crisis.

Tell us again why your mom doesn't have a job?

My mom has never worked a day in her life and can’t read or write she wants to work but no one would hire her.

She can clean or watch kids. It's not beneath her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Didn't you already ask this? Not trying to be snide but wondering what changed?

Op here. Nothing has changed. I don’t have money to give them a lump sum of 30-60k in dollars that they need to pay off their back rent from the past year, my little sisters school fees and pack up to leave.

I have been paying them about 1k a month which is about half my paycheck. My two sisters who live with my parents finally are bringing in some income, but again, at entry level salaries, they don’t make that much and both are contributing as much as they can/want to.

Together the three of us seem to just barely cover some of their current rent and food.

Meanwhile my father is deep in depression and is humiliated. He’s been asking the community there for money and no one wants to help. They can’t leave the expensive apartment until the back rent is paid off. Thus they can’t leave the country.

Ok, there's no "want to" here. Tell your sisters they will pay as much as they absolutely can. They aren't kids anymore and this is what families do in a crisis.

Tell us again why your mom doesn't have a job?

My mom has never worked a day in her life and can’t read or write she wants to work but no one would hire her.

Ok, that's the real reason. Not that she didn't go to college. It still seems like she's not willing to do the kind of work that people who can't read or write can get hired for. But whatever.

Real talk, OP: You can go super-frugal on your end and get a second job so that you can send them more money to attack the debt. You can give your sisters a big reality check and make it clear to them that you are the only person standing between them and homelessness/jail so they better do what you say. And you can take out a low-interest loan and then keep rolling it onto different 0% introductory credit cards. Or you can keep posting here, reject all the advice people give you, and keep on giving them money while they get more and more in debt. Up to you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Didn't you already ask this? Not trying to be snide but wondering what changed?

Op here. Nothing has changed. I don’t have money to give them a lump sum of 30-60k in dollars that they need to pay off their back rent from the past year, my little sisters school fees and pack up to leave.

I have been paying them about 1k a month which is about half my paycheck. My two sisters who live with my parents finally are bringing in some income, but again, at entry level salaries, they don’t make that much and both are contributing as much as they can/want to.

Together the three of us seem to just barely cover some of their current rent and food.

Meanwhile my father is deep in depression and is humiliated. He’s been asking the community there for money and no one wants to help. They can’t leave the expensive apartment until the back rent is paid off. Thus they can’t leave the country.

Ok, there's no "want to" here. Tell your sisters they will pay as much as they absolutely can. They aren't kids anymore and this is what families do in a crisis.

Tell us again why your mom doesn't have a job?

My mom has never worked a day in her life and can’t read or write she wants to work but no one would hire her.

Ok, that's the real reason. Not that she didn't go to college. It still seems like she's not willing to do the kind of work that people who can't read or write can get hired for. But whatever.

Real talk, OP: You can go super-frugal on your end and get a second job so that you can send them more money to attack the debt. You can give your sisters a big reality check and make it clear to them that you are the only person standing between them and homelessness/jail so they better do what you say. And you can take out a low-interest loan and then keep rolling it onto different 0% introductory credit cards. Or you can keep posting here, reject all the advice people give you, and keep on giving them money while they get more and more in debt. Up to you.

Op here. I do not feel comfortable taking a huge loan since I do not earn a big salary here in the u.s. I do not want to end up in a bad situation financially too and actually I haven’t been able to save since I’ve been sending $$ home for a while. So going a step further and getting into active debt…sounds like a bad idea.

[Anonymous]

Op here. What kind of side jons can I do to make more money?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Didn't you already ask this? Not trying to be snide but wondering what changed?

Op here. Nothing has changed. I don’t have money to give them a lump sum of 30-60k in dollars that they need to pay off their back rent from the past year, my little sisters school fees and pack up to leave.

I have been paying them about 1k a month which is about half my paycheck. My two sisters who live with my parents finally are bringing in some income, but again, at entry level salaries, they don’t make that much and both are contributing as much as they can/want to.

Together the three of us seem to just barely cover some of their current rent and food.

Meanwhile my father is deep in depression and is humiliated. He’s been asking the community there for money and no one wants to help. They can’t leave the expensive apartment until the back rent is paid off. Thus they can’t leave the country.

Ok, there's no "want to" here. Tell your sisters they will pay as much as they absolutely can. They aren't kids anymore and this is what families do in a crisis.

Tell us again why your mom doesn't have a job?

My mom has never worked a day in her life and can’t read or write she wants to work but no one would hire her.

Ok, that's the real reason. Not that she didn't go to college. It still seems like she's not willing to do the kind of work that people who can't read or write can get hired for. But whatever.

Real talk, OP: You can go super-frugal on your end and get a second job so that you can send them more money to attack the debt. You can give your sisters a big reality check and make it clear to them that you are the only person standing between them and homelessness/jail so they better do what you say. And you can take out a low-interest loan and then keep rolling it onto different 0% introductory credit cards. Or you can keep posting here, reject all the advice people give you, and keep on giving them money while they get more and more in debt. Up to you.

Op here. I do not feel comfortable taking a huge loan since I do not earn a big salary here in the u.s. I do not want to end up in a bad situation financially too and actually I haven’t been able to save since I’ve been sending $$ home for a while. So going a step further and getting into active debt…sounds like a bad idea.

You are already in a bad situation financially, as a family! Take out this new debt. Then pay off their debt and get them out of the Gulf and into a place where they can support themselves. Then STOP SENDING THEM MONEY and you will be able to pay off the new debt. You must do what needs to be done so that they can support themselves. Whatever it is. That's the only way out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Didn't you already ask this? Not trying to be snide but wondering what changed?

Op here. Nothing has changed. I don’t have money to give them a lump sum of 30-60k in dollars that they need to pay off their back rent from the past year, my little sisters school fees and pack up to leave.

I have been paying them about 1k a month which is about half my paycheck. My two sisters who live with my parents finally are bringing in some income, but again, at entry level salaries, they don’t make that much and both are contributing as much as they can/want to.

Together the three of us seem to just barely cover some of their current rent and food.

Meanwhile my father is deep in depression and is humiliated. He’s been asking the community there for money and no one wants to help. They can’t leave the expensive apartment until the back rent is paid off. Thus they can’t leave the country.

Ok, there's no "want to" here. Tell your sisters they will pay as much as they absolutely can. They aren't kids anymore and this is what families do in a crisis.

Tell us again why your mom doesn't have a job?

My mom has never worked a day in her life and can’t read or write she wants to work but no one would hire her.

She can clean or watch kids. It's not beneath her.

That's not so easy to do as the spouse of a guest worker in the Gulf. The big problem is their location and the things people can do to guest workers wirh debt over there. Priority one is getting them back home where things are cheaper, safer, and there's extended family.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Didn't you already ask this? Not trying to be snide but wondering what changed?

Op here. Nothing has changed. I don’t have money to give them a lump sum of 30-60k in dollars that they need to pay off their back rent from the past year, my little sisters school fees and pack up to leave.

I have been paying them about 1k a month which is about half my paycheck. My two sisters who live with my parents finally are bringing in some income, but again, at entry level salaries, they don’t make that much and both are contributing as much as they can/want to.

Together the three of us seem to just barely cover some of their current rent and food.

Meanwhile my father is deep in depression and is humiliated. He’s been asking the community there for money and no one wants to help. They can’t leave the expensive apartment until the back rent is paid off. Thus they can’t leave the country.

Ok, there's no "want to" here. Tell your sisters they will pay as much as they absolutely can. They aren't kids anymore and this is what families do in a crisis.

Tell us again why your mom doesn't have a job?

My sisters are angry and bitter. They feel like did not sign up to be in this position and are upset that my dad put them in this situation by not saving. Little do they realize he gambled his own safety to ensure they got access to good schools.

Neither did you sign up to support your entire family, but here we are. Your sisters need to suck it up and I would tell them that very very clearly.

[Anonymous]

Why did they rent such an expensive apartment?