Immigrant here with poor parents abroad

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Someone I love is stuck in a very poor country and constantly needs money just to survive. I used to send some regularly. I finally realized I can't and also hope to manage my own life. It's a tough realization. He's going to have to figure something out on his own. Or maybe he won't. But just like you, I'm not the solution.

Op here. My mom keeps calling me crying and begs me to take a loan and pay their rent as she can’t watch my father like this. I feel like I can’t breathe. It’s been very hard. If I take out a 60k loan how am I to pay that off?

[Anonymous]

Start a gofundme. Then, call a news agency to run a story and link to your gofundme.

[Anonymous]

Share gofundme with your local place of worship, all over the place. Ask your friends to post it on their Facebook's. Call some nonprofits. Easier to make calls and emails then repay a 60k loan. That could take 10 or 20 years

[Anonymous]

I just realized you don’t mention a husband or kids. How old are you?

I think you can only send them what you can. Your sisters need to step up.

[Anonymous]

How did you get to the US?
What gulf city are they in!
Can you get them here?

I don’t think taking out a loan you can’t pay back is the answer.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I just realized you don’t mention a husband or kids. How old are you?

I think you can only send them what you can. Your sisters need to step up.

Op here. I have an American husband, which is why I have been able to send over as much of my paycheck as I have been. My parents are too embarrassed to get my husband involved and I don’t feel bailing out my parents is his responsibility. Needless to say, he isn’t really rich so 60k is a lot of his hard earned money.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I just realized you don’t mention a husband or kids. How old are you?

I think you can only send them what you can. Your sisters need to step up.

Op here. I have an American husband, which is why I have been able to send over as much of my paycheck as I have been. My parents are too embarrassed to get my husband involved and I don’t feel bailing out my parents is his responsibility. Needless to say, he isn’t really rich so 60k is a lot of his hard earned money.

So does he have 60k? How much does he earn?

Do you have kids?

I hope he is supportive and doesn’t resent you or your family for this situation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I just realized you don’t mention a husband or kids. How old are you?

I think you can only send them what you can. Your sisters need to step up.

Op here. I have an American husband, which is why I have been able to send over as much of my paycheck as I have been. My parents are too embarrassed to get my husband involved and I don’t feel bailing out my parents is his responsibility. Needless to say, he isn’t really rich so 60k is a lot of his hard earned money.

Is he American and not Indian American?

[Anonymous]

I know this won’t be a popular opinion on DCUM but I would take out the loan and pretend it was a student loan. But ONLY if they agreed to leave.

[Anonymous]

I don’t think you should pay off their debt but I would go into debt to fly them out of there.

[Anonymous]

Hope this doesn’t ruin your own marriage by financially ruining you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I just realized you don’t mention a husband or kids. How old are you?

I think you can only send them what you can. Your sisters need to step up.

Op here. I have an American husband, which is why I have been able to send over as much of my paycheck as I have been. My parents are too embarrassed to get my husband involved and I don’t feel bailing out my parents is his responsibility. Needless to say, he isn’t really rich so 60k is a lot of his hard earned money.

So does he have 60k? How much does he earn?

Do you have kids?

I hope he is supportive and doesn’t resent you or your family for this situation.

Yes he does. We do not have children yet. He is supportive but he’s American so I think he doesn’t quite understand their predicament and desperation. I’ve also not told him the specifics as he wouldn’t really get it as an American. I’m also so embarrassed my family is so poor

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I just realized you don’t mention a husband or kids. How old are you?

I think you can only send them what you can. Your sisters need to step up.

Op here. I have an American husband, which is why I have been able to send over as much of my paycheck as I have been. My parents are too embarrassed to get my husband involved and I don’t feel bailing out my parents is his responsibility. Needless to say, he isn’t really rich so 60k is a lot of his hard earned money.

So does he have 60k? How much does he earn?

Do you have kids?

I hope he is supportive and doesn’t resent you or your family for this situation.

Yes he does. We do not have children yet. He is supportive but he’s American so I think he doesn’t quite understand their predicament and desperation. I’ve also not told him the specifics as he wouldn’t really get it as an American. I’m also so embarrassed my family is so poor

Is it actually the poverty, or is it the bad decisions, that embarrasses you?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I just realized you don’t mention a husband or kids. How old are you?

I think you can only send them what you can. Your sisters need to step up.

Op here. I have an American husband, which is why I have been able to send over as much of my paycheck as I have been. My parents are too embarrassed to get my husband involved and I don’t feel bailing out my parents is his responsibility. Needless to say, he isn’t really rich so 60k is a lot of his hard earned money.

So does he have 60k? How much does he earn?

Do you have kids?

I hope he is supportive and doesn’t resent you or your family for this situation.

Yes he does. We do not have children yet. He is supportive but he’s American so I think he doesn’t quite understand their predicament and desperation. I’ve also not told him the specifics as he wouldn’t really get it as an American. I’m also so embarrassed my family is so poor

I cannot believe you are on here asking for ways to bail your family out when your DH has the money. It is sad that you can’t talk to your husband about this.

At the same time, maybe you are afraid it will cause marital problems or else you probably would have told/asked him.

The obvious thing to do is ask your DH for the money. If he truly loves you, he would help your family. How can you ask strangers on a go fund me before asking your own DH.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I just realized you don’t mention a husband or kids. How old are you?

I think you can only send them what you can. Your sisters need to step up.

Op here. I have an American husband, which is why I have been able to send over as much of my paycheck as I have been. My parents are too embarrassed to get my husband involved and I don’t feel bailing out my parents is his responsibility. Needless to say, he isn’t really rich so 60k is a lot of his hard earned money.

So does he have 60k? How much does he earn?

Do you have kids?

I hope he is supportive and doesn’t resent you or your family for this situation.

Yes he does. We do not have children yet. He is supportive but he’s American so I think he doesn’t quite understand their predicament and desperation. I’ve also not told him the specifics as he wouldn’t really get it as an American. I’m also so embarrassed my family is so poor

Is it actually the poverty, or is it the bad decisions, that embarrasses you?

Both?