Immigrant here with poor parents abroad

[Anonymous]

My wonderful lovely amazing father was the first in his village to move to the city to work a government job. He was paid not a lot of money but he spent it on schooling got my siblings and I. He spent his retirement savings and got into 60k+ debt to help us with our schooling. Right now he is stuck in a gulf country as he was laid off due to covid. My mother father and my two younger sisters have no money and are on the brink of being homeless as there is no earning person in the home. I have been sending them about $600-1k a month for their sustenance and all of the 5k emergency savings I had. I don’t know what else to do except get a loan to try to bail them but I’m terrified of running my own credit and creating a financial mess for me as clearly I don’t have anyone to help me.

What can I do?

[Anonymous]

Instead of sending them $1K a month - figure out what they're spending that money on. Do they have a home? What are their monthly expenses?

Why can't either parent or siblings get a job?

[Anonymous]

You have posted here before.

It sounds like you need to cut your own expenses to the bone, and look into a lawyer to get them to a country where they can work.

[Anonymous]

I’d work a second or third job and work as hard as possible to give my younger sisters the same opportunity you were given. I’d also do anything I could to bring them to the US if it is something they want. Every single restaurant in the country is hiring.

I agree with pp, you need to figure out where the money is going.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My wonderful lovely amazing father was the first in his village to move to the city to work a government job. He was paid not a lot of money but he spent it on schooling got my siblings and I. He spent his retirement savings and got into 60k+ debt to help us with our schooling. Right now he is stuck in a gulf country as he was laid off due to covid. My mother father and my two younger sisters have no money and are on the brink of being homeless as there is no earning person in the home. I have been sending them about $600-1k a month for their sustenance and all of the 5k emergency savings I had. I don’t know what else to do except get a loan to try to bail them but I’m terrified of running my own credit and creating a financial mess for me as clearly I don’t have anyone to help me.

What can I do?

Parent Plus loans? You should be paying those for him. I don’t care whose name they’re in, nobody NEEDS to take out those loans.

[Anonymous]

You could pay off their debts but there seems to be little point in it if they are not actually willing to work afterwards.

[Anonymous]

Is this you, OP? https://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/974229.page

Have you taken any of the advice you got in the old thread?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You could pay off their debts but there seems to be little point in it if they are not actually willing to work afterwards.

So they can survive? That would be the point.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You could pay off their debts but there seems to be little point in it if they are not actually willing to work afterwards.

So they can survive? That would be the point.

If none of these FIVE ADULTS are willing to have any job at all, they will just run up more debt and want OP to pay it.

OP, at least have them downsize to a one-bedroom apartment. Sorry but three bedrooms is not affordable for them and they should have realized it a lot earlier.

[Anonymous]

What happened to your third younger sister? Can she contribute to this?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You could pay off their debts but there seems to be little point in it if they are not actually willing to work afterwards.

So they can survive? That would be the point.

If none of these FIVE ADULTS are willing to have any job at all, they will just run up more debt and want OP to pay it.

OP, at least have them downsize to a one-bedroom apartment. Sorry but three bedrooms is not affordable for them and they should have realized it a lot earlier.

Op here. They’re rent right now is 3k a month in dollars. I make 63k here in the US and cannot pay their rent. They’ve accumulated about 30k in back rent over the past year and cannot vacate until they have paid it off. Whatever money I send goes into paying down the debt in addition to food for them. My mom never graduated college so she cannot work. My dad got laid off and cannot find work and he’s trying. My one sister finally got an internship that pays and will probably chip in some and my other sister also works and pays most of her salary towards their rent. But none of us collectively make enough yo pay off the passive loans and debt.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You could pay off their debts but there seems to be little point in it if they are not actually willing to work afterwards.

So they can survive? That would be the point.

If none of these FIVE ADULTS are willing to have any job at all, they will just run up more debt and want OP to pay it.

OP, at least have them downsize to a one-bedroom apartment. Sorry but three bedrooms is not affordable for them and they should have realized it a lot earlier.

Op here. They’re rent right now is 3k a month in dollars. I make 63k here in the US and cannot pay their rent. They’ve accumulated about 30k in back rent over the past year and cannot vacate until they have paid it off. Whatever money I send goes into paying down the debt in addition to food for them. My mom never graduated college so she cannot work. My dad got laid off and cannot find work and he’s trying. My one sister finally got an internship that pays and will probably chip in some and my other sister also works and pays most of her salary towards their rent. But none of us collectively make enough yo pay off the passive loans and debt.

They just need to escape the Gulf country (probably UAE). Don’t waste more money trying to lay down a debt. Just run away and leave the country and go back to their home country (probably Bangladesh or a neighbor).

[Anonymous]

Op here. I’m just so depressed I’ve been crying all day because I feel so bad for my poor parents. I hate to see him so broke and defeated.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You could pay off their debts but there seems to be little point in it if they are not actually willing to work afterwards.

So they can survive? That would be the point.

If none of these FIVE ADULTS are willing to have any job at all, they will just run up more debt and want OP to pay it.

OP, at least have them downsize to a one-bedroom apartment. Sorry but three bedrooms is not affordable for them and they should have realized it a lot earlier.

Op here. They’re rent right now is 3k a month in dollars. I make 63k here in the US and cannot pay their rent. They’ve accumulated about 30k in back rent over the past year and cannot vacate until they have paid it off. Whatever money I send goes into paying down the debt in addition to food for them. My mom never graduated college so she cannot work. My dad got laid off and cannot find work and he’s trying. My one sister finally got an internship that pays and will probably chip in some and my other sister also works and pays most of her salary towards their rent. But none of us collectively make enough yo pay off the passive loans and debt.

Sorry, no. People who did not graduate college can work. It sounds like your mom cannot find a job she is willing to do, but that's different. There's no right to be a stay-at-home mom of adults and demand that your children pay your expenses.

It sounds like you need to move yourself into a really really cheap studio apartment and take a second job and basically give up everything until the debt is paid. If you and your sister can come up with $1500 a month, you could have it paid off in a few years.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You could pay off their debts but there seems to be little point in it if they are not actually willing to work afterwards.

So they can survive? That would be the point.

If none of these FIVE ADULTS are willing to have any job at all, they will just run up more debt and want OP to pay it.

OP, at least have them downsize to a one-bedroom apartment. Sorry but three bedrooms is not affordable for them and they should have realized it a lot earlier.

Op here. They’re rent right now is 3k a month in dollars. I make 63k here in the US and cannot pay their rent. They’ve accumulated about 30k in back rent over the past year and cannot vacate until they have paid it off. Whatever money I send goes into paying down the debt in addition to food for them. My mom never graduated college so she cannot work. My dad got laid off and cannot find work and he’s trying. My one sister finally got an internship that pays and will probably chip in some and my other sister also works and pays most of her salary towards their rent. But none of us collectively make enough yo pay off the passive loans and debt.

They just need to escape the Gulf country (probably UAE). Don’t waste more money trying to lay down a debt. Just run away and leave the country and go back to their home country (probably Bangladesh or a neighbor).

They take your passports in the UAE and put you in jail for any financial debts. If you have a single relative left behind they will jail the relative for your debts. Which is why I'd never work in the UAE.

https://www.detainedindubai.org/post/miami-woman-detained-in-dubai