All my friends are fake

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Fun AI. To experience “the deep” (authentic and meaningful emotional connection with other adults) you have to know/be willing to tread in deep waters. Can you?

Yes, I am perfectly fine with going deep and have that with a few friends. But it's rare I find someone I actually want to go really deep with (i.e. talk about traumas or whatever). A lot of people simply arent that intelligent or insightful, ime. Wish I could find more people where there was a really deep energetic match, between what we think is fun, compelling, interesting, challenging, etc. it always seems like one of those things is just... out of sync.

This tells me that you're the problem -- not them.

Well, I mean, I have a tested very high IQ, so maybe I am "the problem", statistically speaking. I certainly don't find many people that I find I can truly have an intellectually exciting conversation with. And it's disappointing, because I'm an extrovert, and would love to be able to "go there" with more people. But I can't control my IQ, my intellectual threshold, or anything like that. And frankly, settling for being friends with people who aren't as intelligent has been really unfulfilling to me. So maybe these kinds of gifts are isolating. I wish there was a solution.

Wow. If you are anywhere close to this insufferable in person, it's a wonder you have any friends -- fake or otherwise -- at all. Enjoy your "gift," genius.

People are offended by intelligence. Go to places and sources of info where you find joy maybe it is a museum. Participate in a curated convo. Go live. The rest will come.

Thanks. This is a really good idea. I will say I was a major underachiever in high school and went to a college way below my testing levels because my grades were so awful. I do tend to have really stimulating conversations with some of my high school friends who went to more elite schools, whereas I went to a somewhat rural party school because I wanted an easy route and was dealing with a lot. I often feel like, if I could redo things or get into a group with more intelligent types, that I would be a lot more satisfied. Not in a braggy way, just I am so sick of certain dead end conversations and it's gotten to a point where I feel lonely with almost all of my friends from college, which is where most of my friendships arose from.

My suggestion is to get involved with organizations through volunteer and public engagement opportunities. Whatever field fascinâtes you — follow the public event releases. If nothing else you’ll commit to a few hours of enlightenment with other passionate nerds like yourself.

I’d say the same if you’re big into fitness — lean into it. Set freaks, join classes, meet participants and build from there.

Friends are a rich and cultivated pot of gold, you have to work to both give and demonstrate value and welcome their own.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Fun AI. To experience “the deep” (authentic and meaningful emotional connection with other adults) you have to know/be willing to tread in deep waters. Can you?

Yes, I am perfectly fine with going deep and have that with a few friends. But it's rare I find someone I actually want to go really deep with (i.e. talk about traumas or whatever). A lot of people simply arent that intelligent or insightful, ime. Wish I could find more people where there was a really deep energetic match, between what we think is fun, compelling, interesting, challenging, etc. it always seems like one of those things is just... out of sync.

This tells me that you're the problem -- not them.

Well, I mean, I have a tested very high IQ, so maybe I am "the problem", statistically speaking. I certainly don't find many people that I find I can truly have an intellectually exciting conversation with. And it's disappointing, because I'm an extrovert, and would love to be able to "go there" with more people. But I can't control my IQ, my intellectual threshold, or anything like that. And frankly, settling for being friends with people who aren't as intelligent has been really unfulfilling to me. So maybe these kinds of gifts are isolating. I wish there was a solution.

NP. I’m really sorry, but genuinely intelligent people just don’t talk about themselves and their IQ like this. I think you’re probably at the same level as your current friends, you just believe that you are superior to them, and that causes problems.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Fun AI. To experience “the deep” (authentic and meaningful emotional connection with other adults) you have to know/be willing to tread in deep waters. Can you?

Yes, I am perfectly fine with going deep and have that with a few friends. But it's rare I find someone I actually want to go really deep with (i.e. talk about traumas or whatever). A lot of people simply arent that intelligent or insightful, ime. Wish I could find more people where there was a really deep energetic match, between what we think is fun, compelling, interesting, challenging, etc. it always seems like one of those things is just... out of sync.

This tells me that you're the problem -- not them.

Well, I mean, I have a tested very high IQ, so maybe I am "the problem", statistically speaking. I certainly don't find many people that I find I can truly have an intellectually exciting conversation with. And it's disappointing, because I'm an extrovert, and would love to be able to "go there" with more people. But I can't control my IQ, my intellectual threshold, or anything like that. And frankly, settling for being friends with people who aren't as intelligent has been really unfulfilling to me. So maybe these kinds of gifts are isolating. I wish there was a solution.

My suggestion is to get involved with organizations through volunteer and public engagement opportunities. Whatever field fascinâtes you — follow the public event releases. If nothing else you’ll commit to a few hours of enlightenment with other passionate nerds like yourself.

I’d say the same if you’re big into fitness — lean into it. Set freaks, join classes, meet participants and build from there.

Friends are a rich and cultivated pot of gold, you have to work to both give and demonstrate value and welcome their own.

Wow. If you are anywhere close to this insufferable in person, it's a wonder you have any friends -- fake or otherwise -- at all. Enjoy your "gift," genius.

People are offended by intelligence. Go to places and sources of info where you find joy maybe it is a museum. Participate in a curated convo. Go live. The rest will come.

Thanks. This is a really good idea. I will say I was a major underachiever in high school and went to a college way below my testing levels because my grades were so awful. I do tend to have really stimulating conversations with some of my high school friends who went to more elite schools, whereas I went to a somewhat rural party school because I wanted an easy route and was dealing with a lot. I often feel like, if I could redo things or get into a group with more intelligent types, that I would be a lot more satisfied. Not in a braggy way, just I am so sick of certain dead end conversations and it's gotten to a point where I feel lonely with almost all of my friends from college, which is where most of my friendships arose from.

My suggestion is to get involved with organizations through volunteer and public engagement opportunities. Whatever field fascinâtes you — follow the public event releases. If nothing else you’ll commit to a few hours of enlightenment with other passionate nerds like yourself.

I’d say the same if you’re big into fitness — lean into it. Set freaks, join classes, meet participants and build from there.

Friends are a rich and cultivated pot of gold, you have to work to both give and demonstrate value and welcome their own.

(I believe the formatting was messed up so I fixed it )

Thank you for this! The problem is I'm not a nerd at all. I have a high IQ yet I hate most "nerdy" topics and am way more interested in, say, pop culture and girly things like fashion. I also present as kind of a Barbie doll type with blonde hair and in a lot of pink. So my friend group seems to be divided between the handful of nerdy, judgmental types (usually dont hang out with them as much cause I dont like the judgement) and fellow Barbie doll types where the conversation is just off.

I know there are plenty of other girls out there like me but they just seem to be so impossible to find. I feel like I exist in some nebulous "nowhere" place, like the world between worlds. And both sides are unsatisfying and leave me feeling drained after hanging out.

I used to be able to overlook all of this but as I get older I am just more and more unsatisfied and finding it harder to overlook. I dont even know if there's a solution. Seems like it's probably too late to change all of it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Fun AI. To experience “the deep” (authentic and meaningful emotional connection with other adults) you have to know/be willing to tread in deep waters. Can you?

Yes, I am perfectly fine with going deep and have that with a few friends. But it's rare I find someone I actually want to go really deep with (i.e. talk about traumas or whatever). A lot of people simply arent that intelligent or insightful, ime. Wish I could find more people where there was a really deep energetic match, between what we think is fun, compelling, interesting, challenging, etc. it always seems like one of those things is just... out of sync.

This tells me that you're the problem -- not them.

Well, I mean, I have a tested very high IQ, so maybe I am "the problem", statistically speaking. I certainly don't find many people that I find I can truly have an intellectually exciting conversation with. And it's disappointing, because I'm an extrovert, and would love to be able to "go there" with more people. But I can't control my IQ, my intellectual threshold, or anything like that. And frankly, settling for being friends with people who aren't as intelligent has been really unfulfilling to me. So maybe these kinds of gifts are isolating. I wish there was a solution.

You can't be all that smart if you don't realize you don't have to believe your thoughts. They are just sentences running through your head. You can change your thinking at any time. You do not have to believe that "many people simply aren't that intelligent or insightful." That is the solution.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Fun AI. To experience “the deep” (authentic and meaningful emotional connection with other adults) you have to know/be willing to tread in deep waters. Can you?

Yes, I am perfectly fine with going deep and have that with a few friends. But it's rare I find someone I actually want to go really deep with (i.e. talk about traumas or whatever). A lot of people simply arent that intelligent or insightful, ime. Wish I could find more people where there was a really deep energetic match, between what we think is fun, compelling, interesting, challenging, etc. it always seems like one of those things is just... out of sync.

This tells me that you're the problem -- not them.

Well, I mean, I have a tested very high IQ, so maybe I am "the problem", statistically speaking. I certainly don't find many people that I find I can truly have an intellectually exciting conversation with. And it's disappointing, because I'm an extrovert, and would love to be able to "go there" with more people. But I can't control my IQ, my intellectual threshold, or anything like that. And frankly, settling for being friends with people who aren't as intelligent has been really unfulfilling to me. So maybe these kinds of gifts are isolating. I wish there was a solution.

NP. I’m really sorry, but genuinely intelligent people just don’t talk about themselves and their IQ like this. I think you’re probably at the same level as your current friends, you just believe that you are superior to them, and that causes problems.

Well, no offense but I dont really care because I've been tested multiple times and it's been documented by various test scores. So unless there's been some kind of widespread fluke in these standardized tests that apply only to me, then yeah, I am intelligent. And I fail to realize why that's such a big deal? Plenty of people are talented in various areas, but people seem to be really aghast if someone openly says they're smart. Which is so bizarre. Obviously there's smart people and dumb people and people good at sports and people bad at sports and people who are physically attractive and people who arent but it seems we arent allowed to say so, even on an anonymous forum? Really baffling.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Fun AI. To experience “the deep” (authentic and meaningful emotional connection with other adults) you have to know/be willing to tread in deep waters. Can you?

Yes, I am perfectly fine with going deep and have that with a few friends. But it's rare I find someone I actually want to go really deep with (i.e. talk about traumas or whatever). A lot of people simply arent that intelligent or insightful, ime. Wish I could find more people where there was a really deep energetic match, between what we think is fun, compelling, interesting, challenging, etc. it always seems like one of those things is just... out of sync.

This tells me that you're the problem -- not them.

Well, I mean, I have a tested very high IQ, so maybe I am "the problem", statistically speaking. I certainly don't find many people that I find I can truly have an intellectually exciting conversation with. And it's disappointing, because I'm an extrovert, and would love to be able to "go there" with more people. But I can't control my IQ, my intellectual threshold, or anything like that. And frankly, settling for being friends with people who aren't as intelligent has been really unfulfilling to me. So maybe these kinds of gifts are isolating. I wish there was a solution.

You can't be all that smart if you don't realize you don't have to believe your thoughts. They are just sentences running through your head. You can change your thinking at any time. You do not have to believe that "many people simply aren't that intelligent or insightful." That is the solution.

Huh? Not sure what point you were trying to make here especially because I dont have any issues with thoughts or mental issues in this regard. Did you post in the wrong thread?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Fun AI. To experience “the deep” (authentic and meaningful emotional connection with other adults) you have to know/be willing to tread in deep waters. Can you?

Yes, I am perfectly fine with going deep and have that with a few friends. But it's rare I find someone I actually want to go really deep with (i.e. talk about traumas or whatever). A lot of people simply arent that intelligent or insightful, ime. Wish I could find more people where there was a really deep energetic match, between what we think is fun, compelling, interesting, challenging, etc. it always seems like one of those things is just... out of sync.

This tells me that you're the problem -- not them.

Well, I mean, I have a tested very high IQ, so maybe I am "the problem", statistically speaking. I certainly don't find many people that I find I can truly have an intellectually exciting conversation with. And it's disappointing, because I'm an extrovert, and would love to be able to "go there" with more people. But I can't control my IQ, my intellectual threshold, or anything like that. And frankly, settling for being friends with people who aren't as intelligent has been really unfulfilling to me. So maybe these kinds of gifts are isolating. I wish there was a solution.

My suggestion is to get involved with organizations through volunteer and public engagement opportunities. Whatever field fascinâtes you — follow the public event releases. If nothing else you’ll commit to a few hours of enlightenment with other passionate nerds like yourself.

I’d say the same if you’re big into fitness — lean into it. Set freaks, join classes, meet participants and build from there.

Friends are a rich and cultivated pot of gold, you have to work to both give and demonstrate value and welcome their own.

Wow. If you are anywhere close to this insufferable in person, it's a wonder you have any friends -- fake or otherwise -- at all. Enjoy your "gift," genius.

People are offended by intelligence. Go to places and sources of info where you find joy maybe it is a museum. Participate in a curated convo. Go live. The rest will come.

Thanks. This is a really good idea. I will say I was a major underachiever in high school and went to a college way below my testing levels because my grades were so awful. I do tend to have really stimulating conversations with some of my high school friends who went to more elite schools, whereas I went to a somewhat rural party school because I wanted an easy route and was dealing with a lot. I often feel like, if I could redo things or get into a group with more intelligent types, that I would be a lot more satisfied. Not in a braggy way, just I am so sick of certain dead end conversations and it's gotten to a point where I feel lonely with almost all of my friends from college, which is where most of my friendships arose from.

My suggestion is to get involved with organizations through volunteer and public engagement opportunities. Whatever field fascinâtes you — follow the public event releases. If nothing else you’ll commit to a few hours of enlightenment with other passionate nerds like yourself.

I’d say the same if you’re big into fitness — lean into it. Set freaks, join classes, meet participants and build from there.

Friends are a rich and cultivated pot of gold, you have to work to both give and demonstrate value and welcome their own.

(I believe the formatting was messed up so I fixed it )

Thank you for this! The problem is I'm not a nerd at all. I have a high IQ yet I hate most "nerdy" topics and am way more interested in, say, pop culture and girly things like fashion. I also present as kind of a Barbie doll type with blonde hair and in a lot of pink. So my friend group seems to be divided between the handful of nerdy, judgmental types (usually dont hang out with them as much cause I dont like the judgement) and fellow Barbie doll types where the conversation is just off.

I know there are plenty of other girls out there like me but they just seem to be so impossible to find. I feel like I exist in some nebulous "nowhere" place, like the world between worlds. And both sides are unsatisfying and leave me feeling drained after hanging out.

I used to be able to overlook all of this but as I get older I am just more and more unsatisfied and finding it harder to overlook. I dont even know if there's a solution. Seems like it's probably too late to change all of it.

I’d be your friend if I knew you IRL. I have a deceptive Barbie crew that makes the boys piss their pants. We are out here! Don’t give up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Fun AI. To experience “the deep” (authentic and meaningful emotional connection with other adults) you have to know/be willing to tread in deep waters. Can you?

Yes, I am perfectly fine with going deep and have that with a few friends. But it's rare I find someone I actually want to go really deep with (i.e. talk about traumas or whatever). A lot of people simply arent that intelligent or insightful, ime. Wish I could find more people where there was a really deep energetic match, between what we think is fun, compelling, interesting, challenging, etc. it always seems like one of those things is just... out of sync.

This tells me that you're the problem -- not them.

Well, I mean, I have a tested very high IQ, so maybe I am "the problem", statistically speaking. I certainly don't find many people that I find I can truly have an intellectually exciting conversation with. And it's disappointing, because I'm an extrovert, and would love to be able to "go there" with more people. But I can't control my IQ, my intellectual threshold, or anything like that. And frankly, settling for being friends with people who aren't as intelligent has been really unfulfilling to me. So maybe these kinds of gifts are isolating. I wish there was a solution.

NP. I’m really sorry, but genuinely intelligent people just don’t talk about themselves and their IQ like this. I think you’re probably at the same level as your current friends, you just believe that you are superior to them, and that causes problems.

Well, no offense but I dont really care because I've been tested multiple times and it's been documented by various test scores. So unless there's been some kind of widespread fluke in these standardized tests that apply only to me, then yeah, I am intelligent. And I fail to realize why that's such a big deal? Plenty of people are talented in various areas, but people seem to be really aghast if someone openly says they're smart. Which is so bizarre. Obviously there's smart people and dumb people and people good at sports and people bad at sports and people who are physically attractive and people who arent but it seems we arent allowed to say so, even on an anonymous forum? Really baffling.

Ssshhhh. I toldju. ssshh!!!! You aren’t supposed to talk about it. And take off the pink lipgloss gloss and put your hair up in a bun with your button up and cutoffs. Where are your Birkens?! You cannot be confused for the hapless whores that call themselves “slaying” here.

/s

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Fun AI. To experience “the deep” (authentic and meaningful emotional connection with other adults) you have to know/be willing to tread in deep waters. Can you?

Yes, I am perfectly fine with going deep and have that with a few friends. But it's rare I find someone I actually want to go really deep with (i.e. talk about traumas or whatever). A lot of people simply arent that intelligent or insightful, ime. Wish I could find more people where there was a really deep energetic match, between what we think is fun, compelling, interesting, challenging, etc. it always seems like one of those things is just... out of sync.

This tells me that you're the problem -- not them.

Well, I mean, I have a tested very high IQ, so maybe I am "the problem", statistically speaking. I certainly don't find many people that I find I can truly have an intellectually exciting conversation with. And it's disappointing, because I'm an extrovert, and would love to be able to "go there" with more people. But I can't control my IQ, my intellectual threshold, or anything like that. And frankly, settling for being friends with people who aren't as intelligent has been really unfulfilling to me. So maybe these kinds of gifts are isolating. I wish there was a solution.

You sound exhausting, and I suspect no one wants to "go deep" with you because they can tell that you think you are smarter than them and find it off putting. Frankly, I think the problem is that you are emotionally unintelligent but probably book smart, so you are missing attempts at genuine emotional connection because you are focused on some bullsh!t "intellectual threshold" - whatever that even means.

And before you get defensive, I get it on the book smart piece - I hold a PhD/do research in a hard science and have to pick my audience for talking about work, but I would never say that my friends who don't understand my work are not as smart as me, they just have different strengths, and we connect over different interests. I love and respect them, and learn from them all the time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Fun AI. To experience “the deep” (authentic and meaningful emotional connection with other adults) you have to know/be willing to tread in deep waters. Can you?

Yes, I am perfectly fine with going deep and have that with a few friends. But it's rare I find someone I actually want to go really deep with (i.e. talk about traumas or whatever). A lot of people simply arent that intelligent or insightful, ime. Wish I could find more people where there was a really deep energetic match, between what we think is fun, compelling, interesting, challenging, etc. it always seems like one of those things is just... out of sync.

This tells me that you're the problem -- not them.

Well, I mean, I have a tested very high IQ, so maybe I am "the problem", statistically speaking. I certainly don't find many people that I find I can truly have an intellectually exciting conversation with. And it's disappointing, because I'm an extrovert, and would love to be able to "go there" with more people. But I can't control my IQ, my intellectual threshold, or anything like that. And frankly, settling for being friends with people who aren't as intelligent has been really unfulfilling to me. So maybe these kinds of gifts are isolating. I wish there was a solution.

My suggestion is to get involved with organizations through volunteer and public engagement opportunities. Whatever field fascinâtes you — follow the public event releases. If nothing else you’ll commit to a few hours of enlightenment with other passionate nerds like yourself.

I’d say the same if you’re big into fitness — lean into it. Set freaks, join classes, meet participants and build from there.

Friends are a rich and cultivated pot of gold, you have to work to both give and demonstrate value and welcome their own.

Wow. If you are anywhere close to this insufferable in person, it's a wonder you have any friends -- fake or otherwise -- at all. Enjoy your "gift," genius.

People are offended by intelligence. Go to places and sources of info where you find joy maybe it is a museum. Participate in a curated convo. Go live. The rest will come.

Thanks. This is a really good idea. I will say I was a major underachiever in high school and went to a college way below my testing levels because my grades were so awful. I do tend to have really stimulating conversations with some of my high school friends who went to more elite schools, whereas I went to a somewhat rural party school because I wanted an easy route and was dealing with a lot. I often feel like, if I could redo things or get into a group with more intelligent types, that I would be a lot more satisfied. Not in a braggy way, just I am so sick of certain dead end conversations and it's gotten to a point where I feel lonely with almost all of my friends from college, which is where most of my friendships arose from.

My suggestion is to get involved with organizations through volunteer and public engagement opportunities. Whatever field fascinâtes you — follow the public event releases. If nothing else you’ll commit to a few hours of enlightenment with other passionate nerds like yourself.

I’d say the same if you’re big into fitness — lean into it. Set freaks, join classes, meet participants and build from there.

Friends are a rich and cultivated pot of gold, you have to work to both give and demonstrate value and welcome their own.

(I believe the formatting was messed up so I fixed it )

Thank you for this! The problem is I'm not a nerd at all. I have a high IQ yet I hate most "nerdy" topics and am way more interested in, say, pop culture and girly things like fashion. I also present as kind of a Barbie doll type with blonde hair and in a lot of pink. So my friend group seems to be divided between the handful of nerdy, judgmental types (usually dont hang out with them as much cause I dont like the judgement) and fellow Barbie doll types where the conversation is just off.

I know there are plenty of other girls out there like me but they just seem to be so impossible to find. I feel like I exist in some nebulous "nowhere" place, like the world between worlds. And both sides are unsatisfying and leave me feeling drained after hanging out.

I used to be able to overlook all of this but as I get older I am just more and more unsatisfied and finding it harder to overlook. I dont even know if there's a solution. Seems like it's probably too late to change all of it.

I’d be your friend if I knew you IRL. I have a deceptive Barbie crew that makes the boys piss their pants. We are out here! Don’t give up.

Awww thank you! It's nice to know girls like you are out there. Maybe I will try venturing out to the bars a few more times and keeping going. I see them on social media!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Fun AI. To experience “the deep” (authentic and meaningful emotional connection with other adults) you have to know/be willing to tread in deep waters. Can you?

Yes, I am perfectly fine with going deep and have that with a few friends. But it's rare I find someone I actually want to go really deep with (i.e. talk about traumas or whatever). A lot of people simply arent that intelligent or insightful, ime. Wish I could find more people where there was a really deep energetic match, between what we think is fun, compelling, interesting, challenging, etc. it always seems like one of those things is just... out of sync.

This tells me that you're the problem -- not them.

Well, I mean, I have a tested very high IQ, so maybe I am "the problem", statistically speaking. I certainly don't find many people that I find I can truly have an intellectually exciting conversation with. And it's disappointing, because I'm an extrovert, and would love to be able to "go there" with more people. But I can't control my IQ, my intellectual threshold, or anything like that. And frankly, settling for being friends with people who aren't as intelligent has been really unfulfilling to me. So maybe these kinds of gifts are isolating. I wish there was a solution.

Don’t fret: your EQ is clearly zero.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Fun AI. To experience “the deep” (authentic and meaningful emotional connection with other adults) you have to know/be willing to tread in deep waters. Can you?

Yes, I am perfectly fine with going deep and have that with a few friends. But it's rare I find someone I actually want to go really deep with (i.e. talk about traumas or whatever). A lot of people simply arent that intelligent or insightful, ime. Wish I could find more people where there was a really deep energetic match, between what we think is fun, compelling, interesting, challenging, etc. it always seems like one of those things is just... out of sync.

This tells me that you're the problem -- not them.

Well, I mean, I have a tested very high IQ, so maybe I am "the problem", statistically speaking. I certainly don't find many people that I find I can truly have an intellectually exciting conversation with. And it's disappointing, because I'm an extrovert, and would love to be able to "go there" with more people. But I can't control my IQ, my intellectual threshold, or anything like that. And frankly, settling for being friends with people who aren't as intelligent has been really unfulfilling to me. So maybe these kinds of gifts are isolating. I wish there was a solution.

You can't be all that smart if you don't realize you don't have to believe your thoughts. They are just sentences running through your head. You can change your thinking at any time. You do not have to believe that "many people simply aren't that intelligent or insightful." That is the solution.

Huh? Not sure what point you were trying to make here especially because I dont have any issues with thoughts or mental issues in this regard. Did you post in the wrong thread?

No I didn't post in the wrong thread. You clearly have a closed mind. You got an IQ test and are clinging to it as the only way to define yourself and ostracize yourself from others. Try reading the above again, which is based in CBT. You have serious thought issues.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Fun AI. To experience “the deep” (authentic and meaningful emotional connection with other adults) you have to know/be willing to tread in deep waters. Can you?

Yes, I am perfectly fine with going deep and have that with a few friends. But it's rare I find someone I actually want to go really deep with (i.e. talk about traumas or whatever). A lot of people simply arent that intelligent or insightful, ime. Wish I could find more people where there was a really deep energetic match, between what we think is fun, compelling, interesting, challenging, etc. it always seems like one of those things is just... out of sync.

This tells me that you're the problem -- not them.

Well, I mean, I have a tested very high IQ, so maybe I am "the problem", statistically speaking. I certainly don't find many people that I find I can truly have an intellectually exciting conversation with. And it's disappointing, because I'm an extrovert, and would love to be able to "go there" with more people. But I can't control my IQ, my intellectual threshold, or anything like that. And frankly, settling for being friends with people who aren't as intelligent has been really unfulfilling to me. So maybe these kinds of gifts are isolating. I wish there was a solution.

NP. I’m really sorry, but genuinely intelligent people just don’t talk about themselves and their IQ like this. I think you’re probably at the same level as your current friends, you just believe that you are superior to them, and that causes problems.

Well, no offense but I dont really care because I've been tested multiple times and it's been documented by various test scores. So unless there's been some kind of widespread fluke in these standardized tests that apply only to me, then yeah, I am intelligent. And I fail to realize why that's such a big deal? Plenty of people are talented in various areas, but people seem to be really aghast if someone openly says they're smart. Which is so bizarre. Obviously there's smart people and dumb people and people good at sports and people bad at sports and people who are physically attractive and people who arent but it seems we arent allowed to say so, even on an anonymous forum? Really baffling.

No offense taken. It’s just that if you’re anywhere north of 20 and you’re still talking about how high your IQ is, you are not remotely as intelligent as you think you are.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Fun AI. To experience “the deep” (authentic and meaningful emotional connection with other adults) you have to know/be willing to tread in deep waters. Can you?

Yes, I am perfectly fine with going deep and have that with a few friends. But it's rare I find someone I actually want to go really deep with (i.e. talk about traumas or whatever). A lot of people simply arent that intelligent or insightful, ime. Wish I could find more people where there was a really deep energetic match, between what we think is fun, compelling, interesting, challenging, etc. it always seems like one of those things is just... out of sync.

This tells me that you're the problem -- not them.

Well, I mean, I have a tested very high IQ, so maybe I am "the problem", statistically speaking. I certainly don't find many people that I find I can truly have an intellectually exciting conversation with. And it's disappointing, because I'm an extrovert, and would love to be able to "go there" with more people. But I can't control my IQ, my intellectual threshold, or anything like that. And frankly, settling for being friends with people who aren't as intelligent has been really unfulfilling to me. So maybe these kinds of gifts are isolating. I wish there was a solution.

You sound exhausting, and I suspect no one wants to "go deep" with you because they can tell that you think you are smarter than them and find it off putting. Frankly, I think the problem is that you are emotionally unintelligent but probably book smart, so you are missing attempts at genuine emotional connection because you are focused on some bullsh!t "intellectual threshold" - whatever that even means.

And before you get defensive, I get it on the book smart piece - I hold a PhD/do research in a hard science and have to pick my audience for talking about work, but I would never say that my friends who don't understand my work are not as smart as me, they just have different strengths, and we connect over different interests. I love and respect them, and learn from them all the time.

I'm actually really emotional intelligent and a lot of friends come to me for support on various emotional issues. But there's an intellectual disconnect with a ton of my friends, and not really a bridge that I can cross, after years of having the same kinds of conversations. I wouldn't say they have no strengths- they definitely do. But we are fundamentally intellectually incompatible, and after years of trying to look past this, I simply can't anymore. Not sure why you find this so offensive. And also, there are plenty of people I can think of with PhDs who are simply not that smart, and are just hard workers, so those people may not be able to relate.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Fun AI. To experience “the deep” (authentic and meaningful emotional connection with other adults) you have to know/be willing to tread in deep waters. Can you?

Yes, I am perfectly fine with going deep and have that with a few friends. But it's rare I find someone I actually want to go really deep with (i.e. talk about traumas or whatever). A lot of people simply arent that intelligent or insightful, ime. Wish I could find more people where there was a really deep energetic match, between what we think is fun, compelling, interesting, challenging, etc. it always seems like one of those things is just... out of sync.

This tells me that you're the problem -- not them.

Well, I mean, I have a tested very high IQ, so maybe I am "the problem", statistically speaking. I certainly don't find many people that I find I can truly have an intellectually exciting conversation with. And it's disappointing, because I'm an extrovert, and would love to be able to "go there" with more people. But I can't control my IQ, my intellectual threshold, or anything like that. And frankly, settling for being friends with people who aren't as intelligent has been really unfulfilling to me. So maybe these kinds of gifts are isolating. I wish there was a solution.

My suggestion is to get involved with organizations through volunteer and public engagement opportunities. Whatever field fascinâtes you — follow the public event releases. If nothing else you’ll commit to a few hours of enlightenment with other passionate nerds like yourself.

I’d say the same if you’re big into fitness — lean into it. Set freaks, join classes, meet participants and build from there.

Friends are a rich and cultivated pot of gold, you have to work to both give and demonstrate value and welcome their own.

Wow. If you are anywhere close to this insufferable in person, it's a wonder you have any friends -- fake or otherwise -- at all. Enjoy your "gift," genius.

People are offended by intelligence. Go to places and sources of info where you find joy maybe it is a museum. Participate in a curated convo. Go live. The rest will come.

Thanks. This is a really good idea. I will say I was a major underachiever in high school and went to a college way below my testing levels because my grades were so awful. I do tend to have really stimulating conversations with some of my high school friends who went to more elite schools, whereas I went to a somewhat rural party school because I wanted an easy route and was dealing with a lot. I often feel like, if I could redo things or get into a group with more intelligent types, that I would be a lot more satisfied. Not in a braggy way, just I am so sick of certain dead end conversations and it's gotten to a point where I feel lonely with almost all of my friends from college, which is where most of my friendships arose from.

My suggestion is to get involved with organizations through volunteer and public engagement opportunities. Whatever field fascinâtes you — follow the public event releases. If nothing else you’ll commit to a few hours of enlightenment with other passionate nerds like yourself.

I’d say the same if you’re big into fitness — lean into it. Set freaks, join classes, meet participants and build from there.

Friends are a rich and cultivated pot of gold, you have to work to both give and demonstrate value and welcome their own.

(I believe the formatting was messed up so I fixed it )

Thank you for this! The problem is I'm not a nerd at all. I have a high IQ yet I hate most "nerdy" topics and am way more interested in, say, pop culture and girly things like fashion. I also present as kind of a Barbie doll type with blonde hair and in a lot of pink. So my friend group seems to be divided between the handful of nerdy, judgmental types (usually dont hang out with them as much cause I dont like the judgement) and fellow Barbie doll types where the conversation is just off.

I know there are plenty of other girls out there like me but they just seem to be so impossible to find. I feel like I exist in some nebulous "nowhere" place, like the world between worlds. And both sides are unsatisfying and leave me feeling drained after hanging out.

I used to be able to overlook all of this but as I get older I am just more and more unsatisfied and finding it harder to overlook. I dont even know if there's a solution. Seems like it's probably too late to change all of it.

I’d be your friend if I knew you IRL. I have a deceptive Barbie crew that makes the boys piss their pants. We are out here! Don’t give up.

Awww thank you! It's nice to know girls like you are out there. Maybe I will try venturing out to the bars a few more times and keeping going. I see them on social media!

We are out on Friday and sometimes Sat (tonight!) nights at the Wharf, trolling the last of the Republicans (some of us are Republicans don’t worry) and eating the steam crabs with looks of judgment at passerby’s that carry no weight. /s

Which area do you live in? Sometimes it’s easier to meet people on a weekday than a weekend.