All my friends are fake

[Anonymous]

^I feel like you need both

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:Fun AI. To experience “the deep” (authentic and meaningful emotional connection with other adults) you have to know/be willing to tread in deep waters. Can you?

Yes, I am perfectly fine with going deep and have that with a few friends. But it's rare I find someone I actually want to go really deep with (i.e. talk about traumas or whatever). A lot of people simply arent that intelligent or insightful, ime. Wish I could find more people where there was a really deep energetic match, between what we think is fun, compelling, interesting, challenging, etc. it always seems like one of those things is just... out of sync.

This tells me that you're the problem -- not them.

Well, I mean, I have a tested very high IQ, so maybe I am "the problem", statistically speaking. I certainly don't find many people that I find I can truly have an intellectually exciting conversation with. And it's disappointing, because I'm an extrovert, and would love to be able to "go there" with more people. But I can't control my IQ, my intellectual threshold, or anything like that. And frankly, settling for being friends with people who aren't as intelligent has been really unfulfilling to me. So maybe these kinds of gifts are isolating. I wish there was a solution.

NP. I’m really sorry, but genuinely intelligent people just don’t talk about themselves and their IQ like this. I think you’re probably at the same level as your current friends, you just believe that you are superior to them, and that causes problems.

Well, no offense but I dont really care because I've been tested multiple times and it's been documented by various test scores. So unless there's been some kind of widespread fluke in these standardized tests that apply only to me, then yeah, I am intelligent. And I fail to realize why that's such a big deal? Plenty of people are talented in various areas, but people seem to be really aghast if someone openly says they're smart. Which is so bizarre. Obviously there's smart people and dumb people and people good at sports and people bad at sports and people who are physically attractive and people who arent but it seems we arent allowed to say so, even on an anonymous forum? Really baffling.

No offense taken. It’s just that if you’re anywhere north of 20 and you’re still talking about how high your IQ is, you are not remotely as intelligent as you think you are.

Why are you twisting the knife here, PP? OP should have social skills needing development which isn’t new. She could also articulate her thoughts in a very rudimentary and literal way. Social/emotional/intellectual intelligence creates the synergy of wisdom, which we all have access to with discipline. It is ironic that you’re harping on her emotional intelligence for revealing her intellectual intelligence, all while demonstrating your own lack of social intelligence.

Hardly “twisting the knife” here, PP. But if OP is going to seek out highly intelligent people to form friendships with, she’ll need to put the kibosh on mentioning her IQ score if she wants to be taken seriously.

[Anonymous]

^OP here. This is obviously not something I would mention in casual conversation, and simply mentioned it here as a quantifiable measurement of intelligence since we got the usual, expected influx of "You must not be as smart as you think you are, missy!" comments that seem to crop up in any thread where anyone mentions anything even slightly remarkable about themselves.

[Anonymous]

OP is giving me Fredo vibes insisting she's very "smaht" because other people just aren't picking up on it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP is giving me Fredo vibes insisting she's very "smaht" because other people just aren't picking up on it.

Who said no one is picking up on it? Many people have called me smart or highly intelligent or even genius IRL- but I should have known a DCUM thread would end up in the same "OP is full of themselves!!!" circle jerk that happens every damn time on here. So absolutely pointless and tiresome. Why people on here are absolutely triggered and unable to function when someone mentions a strength or talent/gift they have is baffling. Some deep psychological wound, I guess.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:^OP here. This is obviously not something I would mention in casual conversation, and simply mentioned it here as a quantifiable measurement of intelligence since we got the usual, expected influx of "You must not be as smart as you think you are, missy!" comments that seem to crop up in any thread where anyone mentions anything even slightly remarkable about themselves.

The problem, OP, is that way, way more people than you think will test with a high IQ. I’m guessing that at least a few of your current friends would test similarly to you. So get it out of your head that this makes you special or exceptional.

Your issue is that you have outgrown your friends, and that’s okay. You want more intellectual stimulation than they can provide you, at least right now. It happens to most of us at some point. You just need to get out there and start pursuing hobbies and other activities that you find fulfilling, and you will hopefully, eventually find a new tribe that’s a better fit.

[Anonymous]

OP. It can be helpful to journal for yourself or see a therapist to reflect on and work to identify what’s important to you and then find ways to fulfill that.
Good luck.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:^OP here. This is obviously not something I would mention in casual conversation, and simply mentioned it here as a quantifiable measurement of intelligence since we got the usual, expected influx of "You must not be as smart as you think you are, missy!" comments that seem to crop up in any thread where anyone mentions anything even slightly remarkable about themselves.

The problem, OP, is that way, way more people than you think will test with a high IQ. I’m guessing that at least a few of your current friends would test similarly to you. So get it out of your head that this makes you special or exceptional.

Your issue is that you have outgrown your friends, and that’s okay. You want more intellectual stimulation than they can provide you, at least right now. It happens to most of us at some point. You just need to get out there and start pursuing hobbies and other activities that you find fulfilling, and you will hopefully, eventually find a new tribe that’s a better fit.

I know I'm not the only smart person in the world, and that there are plenty of people who are smarter than me. But at the same time, statistically speaking, I am in the top 2%, so it is highly limiting, and since I've kind of been in the "fun, party" world, haven't run into many who are like me at all. Whether that's by coincidence or situational factors, I dont know, but it's something I would love to change.

I do think your last paragraph gives some sound advice. The problem is I have no interest in taking up dancing or pottery or anything like that and many of my interests would not be classed as "high IQ" ones so I feel like I exist in this strange awful world between wanting to talk about the real housewives and finding many friends who share that interest really bore me conversationally. And again- definitely not saying women who like the real housewives are unintelligent! Just meaning that in my circle and social sphere, with a lot of women who are social butterflies, I have yet to find anyone who can kind of bridge that gap. I see them online, but dont really encounter any IRL, and it's disappointing I guess.

Maybe what I'm looking for is too picky and I'll never find it. But that just seems like such a lonely possibility.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP is giving me Fredo vibes insisting she's very "smaht" because other people just aren't picking up on it.

Who said no one is picking up on it? Many people have called me smart or highly intelligent or even genius IRL- but I should have known a DCUM thread would end up in the same "OP is full of themselves!!!" circle jerk that happens every damn time on here. So absolutely pointless and tiresome. Why people on here are absolutely triggered and unable to function when someone mentions a strength or talent/gift they have is baffling. Some deep psychological wound, I guess.

Well, you're the one with no friends. So maybe there is something about you people just don't appreciate or like very much? Is the problem your friends or that you aren't a good friend?

[Anonymous]

When you are young you need friends because of social pressure. You are experiencing deflation of that pressure to have a network of friends and you know yourself better and you see that your friends have less to offer. It's time to full the friends like cleaning out your shoe closet. Keep only the ones that fit and flatter.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP. It can be helpful to journal for yourself or see a therapist to reflect on and work to identify what’s important to you and then find ways to fulfill that.
Good luck.

Thank you!! Even this thread has helped. I've never thought about the intelligence thing before, really, before it got up in this thread and now it's all come pouring out, lol. Maybe I can sign up for a college course or something to meet like minded people. i also think I have dysfunctional behaviors from childhood (i.e. being wayyyy too much of a people pleaser or "giver") and now in these relationships I'm starting to realize I feel so drained from these dynamics.

I should probably just start journalling this stuff instead of crowd sourcing from DCUM, lol. Thanks for your advice though, I really do appreciate it!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP is giving me Fredo vibes insisting she's very "smaht" because other people just aren't picking up on it.

Who said no one is picking up on it? Many people have called me smart or highly intelligent or even genius IRL- but I should have known a DCUM thread would end up in the same "OP is full of themselves!!!" circle jerk that happens every damn time on here. So absolutely pointless and tiresome. Why people on here are absolutely triggered and unable to function when someone mentions a strength or talent/gift they have is baffling. Some deep psychological wound, I guess.

Not PP but I don't think people are triggered or offended by intelligence, it's just that lots of DCUMers went to elite schools, work intellectually demanding professional jobs, know lots of very smart people, and MOST of these smart people do not have the problem that OP is describing. I went to an ivy, many of my friends went to top colleges, and no one would talk like OP about how they are too smart to hang with their friends. The only ones I can think of who do in my own network are the ones who are too intense and take themselves too seriously. It's not an intelligence gap, it's a soft skill/relationship-building deficit. They can carry a casual conversation fine but there's a barrier or air of self-righteousness and megalomania that is incredibly off putting and makes people not want to engage in a vulnerable or really deep way.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:When you are young you need friends because of social pressure. You are experiencing deflation of that pressure to have a network of friends and you know yourself better and you see that your friends have less to offer. It's time to full the friends like cleaning out your shoe closet. Keep only the ones that fit and flatter.

I think this is what it is, and thank you for that very sound advice that really resonates. I've never been someone that's been super into relationships or poured all my energy into romance but I'm starting to realize why people pair up into couples and spend all their time together now. Because it's probably a better solution than trying to source your emotional needs from all these different friends and it never goes that deep. So i think I may try that next, as I enter my thirties.

This is very helpful input!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP is giving me Fredo vibes insisting she's very "smaht" because other people just aren't picking up on it.

Who said no one is picking up on it? Many people have called me smart or highly intelligent or even genius IRL- but I should have known a DCUM thread would end up in the same "OP is full of themselves!!!" circle jerk that happens every damn time on here. So absolutely pointless and tiresome. Why people on here are absolutely triggered and unable to function when someone mentions a strength or talent/gift they have is baffling. Some deep psychological wound, I guess.

Not PP but I don't think people are triggered or offended by intelligence, it's just that lots of DCUMers went to elite schools, work intellectually demanding professional jobs, know lots of very smart people, and MOST of these smart people do not have the problem that OP is describing. I went to an ivy, many of my friends went to top colleges, and no one would talk like OP about how they are too smart to hang with their friends. The only ones I can think of who do in my own network are the ones who are too intense and take themselves too seriously. It's not an intelligence gap, it's a soft skill/relationship-building deficit. They can carry a casual conversation fine but there's a barrier or air of self-righteousness and megalomania that is incredibly off putting and makes people not want to engage in a vulnerable or really deep way.

OP here- but I think this is part of the issue. I didn't go to an ivy. I had the test scores for an Ivy but was pretty lazy in high school and didn't care much about what college I went to because I had a ton of stress I was dealing with at home. My friends from high school that I still interact with are generally really stimulating and provide me with the kind of conversations that I crave, but most of the people from my college or who I've met from that network simply arent that smart and I feel like conversations have become almost like pulling teeth at this point. I do think if I could interact with some people who are more intellectually gifted that I could scratch that itch, but it seems that ship has mostly sailed and I'm kind of adrift on an island, with no immediately obvious solution. I work almost completely from home, so I cant meet people at work, and it's hard to see how I could enter into those kinds of relationships that would be intellectually stimulating. That's what I really crave. And then, of course, someone who went to an Ivy but doesn't have "nerdy" interests, because I dont share those. So I feel it's kind of a hard thing to find, considering all these points.

[Anonymous]

^*friends from high school that went to Ivies