All my friends are fake

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Fun AI. To experience “the deep” (authentic and meaningful emotional connection with other adults) you have to know/be willing to tread in deep waters. Can you?

Yes, I am perfectly fine with going deep and have that with a few friends. But it's rare I find someone I actually want to go really deep with (i.e. talk about traumas or whatever). A lot of people simply arent that intelligent or insightful, ime. Wish I could find more people where there was a really deep energetic match, between what we think is fun, compelling, interesting, challenging, etc. it always seems like one of those things is just... out of sync.

This tells me that you're the problem -- not them.

Well, I mean, I have a tested very high IQ, so maybe I am "the problem", statistically speaking. I certainly don't find many people that I find I can truly have an intellectually exciting conversation with. And it's disappointing, because I'm an extrovert, and would love to be able to "go there" with more people. But I can't control my IQ, my intellectual threshold, or anything like that. And frankly, settling for being friends with people who aren't as intelligent has been really unfulfilling to me. So maybe these kinds of gifts are isolating. I wish there was a solution.

You sound like my gifted 14 yo daughter. She cannot and will not have friends who are not at her level intellectually.

[Anonymous]

Get rid of them and get new friends. I do this every 5 years or so. I get bored so I cast a wide net and keep the few treasures I find and throw the rest back in the oceans. I have 2 good friends per decade.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Fun AI. To experience “the deep” (authentic and meaningful emotional connection with other adults) you have to know/be willing to tread in deep waters. Can you?

Yes, I am perfectly fine with going deep and have that with a few friends. But it's rare I find someone I actually want to go really deep with (i.e. talk about traumas or whatever). A lot of people simply arent that intelligent or insightful, ime. Wish I could find more people where there was a really deep energetic match, between what we think is fun, compelling, interesting, challenging, etc. it always seems like one of those things is just... out of sync.

This tells me that you're the problem -- not them.

Well, I mean, I have a tested very high IQ, so maybe I am "the problem", statistically speaking. I certainly don't find many people that I find I can truly have an intellectually exciting conversation with. And it's disappointing, because I'm an extrovert, and would love to be able to "go there" with more people. But I can't control my IQ, my intellectual threshold, or anything like that. And frankly, settling for being friends with people who aren't as intelligent has been really unfulfilling to me. So maybe these kinds of gifts are isolating. I wish there was a solution.

You sound like my gifted 14 yo daughter. She cannot and will not have friends who are not at her level intellectually.

Have you read the thread? She says her friends are "fake", but by that she means unable to have intellectual conversations...about celebrity gossip. And maybe photography.
None of this makes sense.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP is giving me Fredo vibes insisting she's very "smaht" because other people just aren't picking up on it.

Who said no one is picking up on it? Many people have called me smart or highly intelligent or even genius IRL- but I should have known a DCUM thread would end up in the same "OP is full of themselves!!!" circle jerk that happens every damn time on here. So absolutely pointless and tiresome. Why people on here are absolutely triggered and unable to function when someone mentions a strength or talent/gift they have is baffling. Some deep psychological wound, I guess.

NP. Because you sound like a dick, honestly. Sorry, but maybe you can do some work on yourself and become someone who is generous with others. Good luck!

- Someone more beautiful, intelligent, and (most importantly!) interested in other people than you

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:^OP here. This is obviously not something I would mention in casual conversation, and simply mentioned it here as a quantifiable measurement of intelligence since we got the usual, expected influx of "You must not be as smart as you think you are, missy!" comments that seem to crop up in any thread where anyone mentions anything even slightly remarkable about themselves.

The problem, OP, is that way, way more people than you think will test with a high IQ. I’m guessing that at least a few of your current friends would test similarly to you. So get it out of your head that this makes you special or exceptional.

Your issue is that you have outgrown your friends, and that’s okay. You want more intellectual stimulation than they can provide you, at least right now. It happens to most of us at some point. You just need to get out there and start pursuing hobbies and other activities that you find fulfilling, and you will hopefully, eventually find a new tribe that’s a better fit.

I know I'm not the only smart person in the world, and that there are plenty of people who are smarter than me. But at the same time, statistically speaking, I am in the top 2%, so it is highly limiting, and since I've kind of been in the "fun, party" world, haven't run into many who are like me at all. Whether that's by coincidence or situational factors, I dont know, but it's something I would love to change.

I do think your last paragraph gives some sound advice. The problem is I have no interest in taking up dancing or pottery or anything like that and many of my interests would not be classed as "high IQ" ones so I feel like I exist in this strange awful world between wanting to talk about the real housewives and finding many friends who share that interest really bore me conversationally. And again- definitely not saying women who like the real housewives are unintelligent! Just meaning that in my circle and social sphere, with a lot of women who are social butterflies, I have yet to find anyone who can kind of bridge that gap. I see them online, but dont really encounter any IRL, and it's disappointing I guess.

Maybe what I'm looking for is too picky and I'll never find it. But that just seems like such a lonely possibility.

Good news! Enjoying pop culture as an intelligent person is extremely common! How many people have you tried talking about Bravo with? That’s great common ground and can lead to fun, funny, witty friends. But you have to meet them first. So perhaps you should give some thought to trying PP’s advice about meeting people and see what happens. Have fun!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Get rid of them and get new friends. I do this every 5 years or so. I get bored so I cast a wide net and keep the few treasures I find and throw the rest back in the oceans. I have 2 good friends per decade.

It doesn't sound like you know what a good friend is. It doesn't sound like you're capable of being one anyway, or being a decent person.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP. It can be helpful to journal for yourself or see a therapist to reflect on and work to identify what’s important to you and then find ways to fulfill that.
Good luck.

Thank you!! Even this thread has helped. I've never thought about the intelligence thing before, really, before it got up in this thread and now it's all come pouring out, lol. Maybe I can sign up for a college course or something to meet like minded people. i also think I have dysfunctional behaviors from childhood (i.e. being wayyyy too much of a people pleaser or "giver") and now in these relationships I'm starting to realize I feel so drained from these dynamics.

I should probably just start journalling this stuff instead of crowd sourcing from DCUM, lol. Thanks for your advice though, I really do appreciate it!

That’s amazing! Yay!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP is giving me Fredo vibes insisting she's very "smaht" because other people just aren't picking up on it.

Who said no one is picking up on it? Many people have called me smart or highly intelligent or even genius IRL- but I should have known a DCUM thread would end up in the same "OP is full of themselves!!!" circle jerk that happens every damn time on here. So absolutely pointless and tiresome. Why people on here are absolutely triggered and unable to function when someone mentions a strength or talent/gift they have is baffling. Some deep psychological wound, I guess.

NP. Because you sound like a dick, honestly. Sorry, but maybe you can do some work on yourself and become someone who is generous with others. Good luck!

- Someone more beautiful, intelligent, and (most importantly!) interested in other people than you

Assuming the OP's first language is English, I find it suspect that this highly intelligent genius writes a the level of a high school student.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP is giving me Fredo vibes insisting she's very "smaht" because other people just aren't picking up on it.

Who said no one is picking up on it? Many people have called me smart or highly intelligent or even genius IRL- but I should have known a DCUM thread would end up in the same "OP is full of themselves!!!" circle jerk that happens every damn time on here. So absolutely pointless and tiresome. Why people on here are absolutely triggered and unable to function when someone mentions a strength or talent/gift they have is baffling. Some deep psychological wound, I guess.

NP. Because you sound like a dick, honestly. Sorry, but maybe you can do some work on yourself and become someone who is generous with others. Good luck!

- Someone more beautiful, intelligent, and (most importantly!) interested in other people than you

Assuming the OP's first language is English, I find it suspect that this highly intelligent genius writes a the level of a high school student.

+1
(But maybe she’s great at maths and simply not verbally gifted? Hope so.)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP is giving me Fredo vibes insisting she's very "smaht" because other people just aren't picking up on it.

Who said no one is picking up on it? Many people have called me smart or highly intelligent or even genius IRL- but I should have known a DCUM thread would end up in the same "OP is full of themselves!!!" circle jerk that happens every damn time on here. So absolutely pointless and tiresome. Why people on here are absolutely triggered and unable to function when someone mentions a strength or talent/gift they have is baffling. Some deep psychological wound, I guess.

NP. Because you sound like a dick, honestly. Sorry, but maybe you can do some work on yourself and become someone who is generous with others. Good luck!

- Someone more beautiful, intelligent, and (most importantly!) interested in other people than you

Assuming the OP's first language is English, I find it suspect that this highly intelligent genius writes a the level of a high school student.

+1
(But maybe she’s great at maths and simply not verbally gifted? Hope so.)

It sounds like she did well on some Internet IQ tests. I'm pretty sure she even said she couldn't get into a decent college because her grades sucked. So let's see...sucked at high school, sucked at the SAT, can't write a coherent paragraph, thinks the word "fake" means unable to have an intellectual conversation. She's either a complete moron or a very amusing troll.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP is giving me Fredo vibes insisting she's very "smaht" because other people just aren't picking up on it.

Who said no one is picking up on it? Many people have called me smart or highly intelligent or even genius IRL- but I should have known a DCUM thread would end up in the same "OP is full of themselves!!!" circle jerk that happens every damn time on here. So absolutely pointless and tiresome. Why people on here are absolutely triggered and unable to function when someone mentions a strength or talent/gift they have is baffling. Some deep psychological wound, I guess.

NP. Because you sound like a dick, honestly. Sorry, but maybe you can do some work on yourself and become someone who is generous with others. Good luck!

- Someone more beautiful, intelligent, and (most importantly!) interested in other people than you

Assuming the OP's first language is English, I find it suspect that this highly intelligent genius writes a the level of a high school student.

+1
(But maybe she’s great at maths and simply not verbally gifted? Hope so.)

It sounds like she did well on some Internet IQ tests. I'm pretty sure she even said she couldn't get into a decent college because her grades sucked. So let's see...sucked at high school, sucked at the SAT, can't write a coherent paragraph, thinks the word "fake" means unable to have an intellectual conversation. She's either a complete moron or a very amusing troll.

OP- actually I did really well on the SATs, did really well on formal IQ tests, and did really well on all kinds of standardized tests. I'm particularly gifted in verbal areas, although obviously DCUM is not exactly the place where you'd be breaking out the college thesis level thinking. As some of these comments prove, lol!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP is giving me Fredo vibes insisting she's very "smaht" because other people just aren't picking up on it.

Who said no one is picking up on it? Many people have called me smart or highly intelligent or even genius IRL- but I should have known a DCUM thread would end up in the same "OP is full of themselves!!!" circle jerk that happens every damn time on here. So absolutely pointless and tiresome. Why people on here are absolutely triggered and unable to function when someone mentions a strength or talent/gift they have is baffling. Some deep psychological wound, I guess.

NP. Because you sound like a dick, honestly. Sorry, but maybe you can do some work on yourself and become someone who is generous with others. Good luck!

- Someone more beautiful, intelligent, and (most importantly!) interested in other people than you

Sorry, but that's not true. And you might work on not being offended when someone says something good about themselves, or taking it as a competition (which you'd probably lose anyway). Generally not a healthy way to move through life. But good luck and have a good day!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Fun AI. To experience “the deep” (authentic and meaningful emotional connection with other adults) you have to know/be willing to tread in deep waters. Can you?

Yes, I am perfectly fine with going deep and have that with a few friends. But it's rare I find someone I actually want to go really deep with (i.e. talk about traumas or whatever). A lot of people simply arent that intelligent or insightful, ime. Wish I could find more people where there was a really deep energetic match, between what we think is fun, compelling, interesting, challenging, etc. it always seems like one of those things is just... out of sync.

This tells me that you're the problem -- not them.

Well, I mean, I have a tested very high IQ, so maybe I am "the problem", statistically speaking. I certainly don't find many people that I find I can truly have an intellectually exciting conversation with. And it's disappointing, because I'm an extrovert, and would love to be able to "go there" with more people. But I can't control my IQ, my intellectual threshold, or anything like that. And frankly, settling for being friends with people who aren't as intelligent has been really unfulfilling to me. So maybe these kinds of gifts are isolating. I wish there was a solution.

You sound like my gifted 14 yo daughter. She cannot and will not have friends who are not at her level intellectually.

Have you read the thread? She says her friends are "fake", but by that she means unable to have intellectual conversations...about celebrity gossip. And maybe photography.
None of this makes sense.

See this is the thing... you can be interested in celebrity gossip and still intelligent. There's nothing preventing those two qualities from overlapping. And it's a very out of date and misogynistic viewpoint to think they can't

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Get rid of them and get new friends. I do this every 5 years or so. I get bored so I cast a wide net and keep the few treasures I find and throw the rest back in the oceans. I have 2 good friends per decade.

+1

Love this strategy

[Anonymous]

OP here. Thank you very much for the very helpful advice I've gotten on here, as well as the several people who said they found me charming and liked me (Don't think I've ever seen that on DCUM before, especially when the OP pushes back, so I'm fairly chuffed and definitely pleased although wasn't expecting it)

It seems the miserable fraus that DCUM is known for have descended on this thread and been triggered as I expected, so I probably won't come back, especially because I feel I thought through my own question thanks to some of the helpful prompting on here and for that I'm very grateful.

So thanks to all who gave me helpful advice and could relate to my issue- it's much appreciated! And for the angry fraus that have to take offense at everything someone writes on DCUM- get happier lives so you're not so angry/bitter at EVERYTHING.

Anyway, have a wonderful Sunday everyone!