Work 65+hour weeks + young baby

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here: as I mention, I do spend time with the baby. I basically don't do anything else for me - no TV, no movies, no exercise, maybe 15 mins of internet browsing per day.

Why can't you exercise with the baby? Put them in a stroller and go for a walk. Do yoga while they crawl around you? Stuff like that. My kids used to climb all over me when they were babies and I was doing yoga with them in the room.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What’s your HHI and what would it be at 45 hours per week. If you are really working 65 hours per week that’s not going to work long term. You need a long term plan. Is your plan really work work work and then die? Life is meant to be lived a little. Your kid can go to your state school and still be a doctor or lawyer, k?

OP: we’re at 400 right now. We are both in our late 30s and until recently we were at 250. my husband also would want us to move to a bigger place (I don’t) and he likes taking nicer vacations than I do. He would not want to downshift.

I would be super resentful if my DH was that selfish and focused on money. My children come before a big house and expensive vacations. It sounds like both of you have fuked up priorities.

[Anonymous]

You have years to save for college. Cut back.

[Anonymous]

My child arrived just the other day
She came to the world in the usual way
But there were planes to catch, and bills to pay
She learned to walk while I was away
And she was talking 'fore I knew it, and as she grew
She'd say, "I'm gonna be like you, mom"
"You know I'm gonna be like you"

And the cat's in the cradle and the silver spoon
Little boy blue and the man in the moon
"When you coming home, mom?"
"I don't know when"
But we'll get together then
You know we'll have a good time then...

[Anonymous]

Wow. Reading through this I think our values and views on parenting must be so existentially opposed I wouldn’t even know where to begin with “advice”. My fundamentals are very different than yours.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What’s your HHI and what would it be at 45 hours per week. If you are really working 65 hours per week that’s not going to work long term. You need a long term plan. Is your plan really work work work and then die? Life is meant to be lived a little. Your kid can go to your state school and still be a doctor or lawyer, k?

OP: we’re at 400 right now. We are both in our late 30s and until recently we were at 250. my husband also would want us to move to a bigger place (I don’t) and he likes taking nicer vacations than I do. He would not want to downshift.

Your HHI is 400k a year and you can't cut back, save for one child's college and your retirement? Sounds like you need to downsize on your mortgage or spending habits somewhere . . .

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What’s your HHI and what would it be at 45 hours per week. If you are really working 65 hours per week that’s not going to work long term. You need a long term plan. Is your plan really work work work and then die? Life is meant to be lived a little. Your kid can go to your state school and still be a doctor or lawyer, k?

OP: we’re at 400 right now. We are both in our late 30s and until recently we were at 250. my husband also would want us to move to a bigger place (I don’t) and he likes taking nicer vacations than I do. He would not want to downshift.

Your HHI is 400k a year and you can't cut back, save for one child's college and your retirement? Sounds like you need to downsize on your mortgage or spending habits somewhere . . .

We can absolutely. I meant if I went down.

[Anonymous]

We are also in NYC. So mortgage and tax for 2 bedroom right outside the city is 4-5k per month. Manhattan is much more.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wow. Reading through this I think our values and views on parenting must be so existentially opposed I wouldn’t even know where to begin with “advice”. My fundamentals are very different than yours.

Also I think you are being unfair. I hang out with the baby 7-8 am in the morning and 6-7 pm when he goes to bed. I then go back to work and work until 11 pm.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow. Reading through this I think our values and views on parenting must be so existentially opposed I wouldn’t even know where to begin with “advice”. My fundamentals are very different than yours.

Also I think you are being unfair. I hang out with the baby 7-8 am in the morning and 6-7 pm when he goes to bed. I then go back to work and work until 11 pm.

Ok. This has to be a troll. No one would be ok spending two hours a day with their child.

[Anonymous]

Which do you think your baby would prefer?

A. Fully funded college
B. Less stressed mom who was around more and happier? Year after year of having no time to yourself as well as DH having to pick up more and more of the slack will wear on you


I mean , it's great you want to have college fully funded. But your priorities seems seriously messed up to me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow. Reading through this I think our values and views on parenting must be so existentially opposed I wouldn’t even know where to begin with “advice”. My fundamentals are very different than yours.

Also I think you are being unfair. I hang out with the baby 7-8 am in the morning and 6-7 pm when he goes to bed. I then go back to work and work until 11 pm.

Ok. This has to be a troll. No one would be ok spending two hours a day with their child.

And no time with DH.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow. Reading through this I think our values and views on parenting must be so existentially opposed I wouldn’t even know where to begin with “advice”. My fundamentals are very different than yours.

Also I think you are being unfair. I hang out with the baby 7-8 am in the morning and 6-7 pm when he goes to bed. I then go back to work and work until 11 pm.

Ok. This has to be a troll. No one would be ok spending two hours a day with their child.

And no time with DH.

Indeed, no time with DH

I spend much more time on the weekend obviously.

The baby is 9 months old. He wakes up at 7 and goes to bed at 7.

If he went to daycare how much more time would parents who work less than me spend?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What’s your HHI and what would it be at 45 hours per week. If you are really working 65 hours per week that’s not going to work long term. You need a long term plan. Is your plan really work work work and then die? Life is meant to be lived a little. Your kid can go to your state school and still be a doctor or lawyer, k?

OP: we’re at 400 right now. We are both in our late 30s and until recently we were at 250. my husband also would want us to move to a bigger place (I don’t) and he likes taking nicer vacations than I do. He would not want to downshift.

I would be super resentful if my DH was that selfish and focused on money. My children come before a big house and expensive vacations. It sounds like both of you have fuked up priorities.

I think op is using her DH as a scapegoat instead of just coming out and saying she doesn't want to downshift her job.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow. Reading through this I think our values and views on parenting must be so existentially opposed I wouldn’t even know where to begin with “advice”. My fundamentals are very different than yours.

Also I think you are being unfair. I hang out with the baby 7-8 am in the morning and 6-7 pm when he goes to bed. I then go back to work and work until 11 pm.

Ok. This has to be a troll. No one would be ok spending two hours a day with their child.

And no time with DH.

Indeed, no time with DH

I spend much more time on the weekend obviously.

The baby is 9 months old. He wakes up at 7 and goes to bed at 7.

If he went to daycare how much more time would parents who work less than me spend?

Op, what's your point in posting? So far you just argue with anyone who doesn't agree with what you're doing.