Four Children: All Living on Opposite Coast

[Anonymous]

What a bizarre question, OP. Are you unfamiliar with the concept of people living away from their parents?
My siblings and I came to the US for college right after high school and have settled here permanently since then. Our parents remain in Asia. Do you not know any immigrants?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your neighbors may be waiting to see if their kids are going to settle there (vs live there for a few years and then move back) before your neighbors decide if they want to move out there too. Or maybe they are content to not live near their kids. Either way it is not weird.

Yup my eldest is there for Art School. If youngest goes (9th grader) for college. We will move West. If one on each coast will stay put and visit. After this Pandemic wherever they may go and thrive is good enough for us.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why? We have five. Three college grads. One in college. One senior in high school. Our oldest lives in Georgia. Our second in Colorado. Our third in Florida. Our fourth is in London. We see all of them several times a year. I miss them. But, I’m super proud of the independent young men and woman they have become.

You do realize that you can have "independent young men and women" as adult children who also live nearby, right? It's called being a close family.

DP, but it’s often called having kids who are “not very independent”. May not be the case for your family, of course.

Please explain why kids aren't "very independent" if they live in the same metropolitan area as their parents. Does being "very independent" require that you move to the other side of the country and only have perfunctory visits with your parents a couple times a year? My definition of "very independent" is having a job, supporting yourself, owning your own home, and having a partner. I didn't know that being "very independent" requires detaching yourself from your parents and siblings.

[Anonymous]

Are you kidding? If I could afford California I'd move in a heartbeat.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What a bizarre question, OP. Are you unfamiliar with the concept of people living away from their parents?
My siblings and I came to the US for college right after high school and have settled here permanently since then. Our parents remain in Asia. Do you not know any immigrants?

Totally different situation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Are you kidding? If I could afford California I'd move in a heartbeat.

Are you in the DC area? If you can afford to live here you can afford to live there. Sounds like you're making excuses.

[Anonymous]

Thanks for your ruminations, Mrs. Kravitz!

[Anonymous]

Nothing wrong with it of course. But This is why we (selfishly) discouraged our kids from considering college on west coast. There are plenty of options on east coast and chances of them getting first jobs and settling closer to where they attend college is high.

I can handle a few states difference, I’d be emotionally torn if we were all cross country from each other

[Anonymous]

I think it speaks to the fact that they are a close family as the kids all want to be near each other. That would be far more important to me than having them live down the street from me.

Having said that, myob.

[Anonymous]

A lot of people move to California after college and then once they settle down and have kids, move to be closer to family.

-someone who moved to San Francisco after grad school and moved back east with small children and has many friends who did the same

[Anonymous]

I love my parents and my sister. We talk to each other every day and do a joint FaceTime call with all of us together at least once a week. Neither my sister nor I have lived within 800 miles of my parents since we left for college. Our jobs and lives have just taken us other places.

[Anonymous]

It’s totally normal and OP sounds like a busybody.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why? We have five. Three college grads. One in college. One senior in high school. Our oldest lives in Georgia. Our second in Colorado. Our third in Florida. Our fourth is in London. We see all of them several times a year. I miss them. But, I’m super proud of the independent young men and woman they have become.

You do realize that you can have "independent young men and women" as adult children who also live nearby, right? It's called being a close family.

DP, but it’s often called having kids who are “not very independent”. May not be the case for your family, of course.

Please explain why kids aren't "very independent" if they live in the same metropolitan area as their parents. Does being "very independent" require that you move to the other side of the country and only have perfunctory visits with your parents a couple times a year? My definition of "very independent" is having a job, supporting yourself, owning your own home, and having a partner. I didn't know that being "very independent" requires detaching yourself from your parents and siblings.

NP and my definition of independent means having a job, supporting yourself and living on your own. You don’t consider someone who rents an apartment independent? Or lives with roommates to afford to pay rent? Or someone who lives on their own but has no partner? Geez - your view is also narrow.

[Anonymous]

Living in CA is very expensive - at least the major cities. Amazing people can afford it right out of college.

[Anonymous]

Have you ever been to California? I find it odd that anyone would go out there and move back to the east coast.