The boys just aren't going to college

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Agree that girls can have ADHD too - but I do think that the numbers of medicated boys these days is staggering and really sad.

Such bs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When I went to college for engineering 20 years ago, only 10% of students were female. I viisted last year and it's about 50-50 now. The efforts to get girls to study STEM are really paying off.

But.. there are no efforts to get boys to study anything. It's like all the resources were directed to girls, and boys got nothing. It's sad.

I guess men need to step up and start encouraging their sons to get into teaching and nursing. Why haven't men done this?

Because you can barely make a living as a teacher. How will men find wives when they care barely pay their own bills?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When I went to college for engineering 20 years ago, only 10% of students were female. I viisted last year and it's about 50-50 now. The efforts to get girls to study STEM are really paying off.

But.. there are no efforts to get boys to study anything. It's like all the resources were directed to girls, and boys got nothing. It's sad.

I guess men need to step up and start encouraging their sons to get into teaching and nursing. Why haven't men done this?

Because you can barely make a living as a teacher. How will men find wives when they care barely pay their own bills?

If men want equity they need to be willing to do this work, otherwise they're full of it. FYI: men with less money than teachers get married every day. Are you from the past??

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:With higher paying trade work being more male dominated is it any wonder that fewer of them are going to college?

Spoiler alert: The guy making $150k as a plumber is in a better position than the woman making $75k as an exec assistant with loan debt.

I have a number of friends in the trades. Talk to them when they're mid 40s and have worked 20-25 years already. The work is physically grinding and takes a toll. One injury and you're out of work for weeks or months.

Reminds me of a guy I was talking to last week, who did refrigeration and HVAC. He had to quit because he was on call 24/7 to fix commercial refrig units and body couldn't handle getting calls at 3am to drive out and fix some broken ice cream freezer at Giant. He was in his early 50s.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:With higher paying trade work being more male dominated is it any wonder that fewer of them are going to college?

Spoiler alert: The guy making $150k as a plumber is in a better position than the woman making $75k as an exec assistant with loan debt.

I have a number of friends in the trades. Talk to them when they're mid 40s and have worked 20-25 years already. The work is physically grinding and takes a toll. One injury and you're out of work for weeks or months.

Reminds me of a guy I was talking to last week, who did refrigeration and HVAC. He had to quit because he was on call 24/7 to fix commercial refrig units and body couldn't handle getting calls at 3am to drive out and fix some broken ice cream freezer at Giant. He was in his early 50s.

Ageism is a problem for working class women in offices. It's easy to become an assistant at 23. It's much harder at 53.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:With higher paying trade work being more male dominated is it any wonder that fewer of them are going to college?

Spoiler alert: The guy making $150k as a plumber is in a better position than the woman making $75k as an exec assistant with loan debt.

I think women are choosing college in greater numbers because it's the only opportunity. If they have the college education, that can be their fallback to work as an exec assistant or even a teacher. Men have a world of options open to them in the trades without a college education.

I'm not worried about my son. I don't know why I am not, as I've seen several brothers falter (special needs, adhd, failure to launch). My son just seems like a go getter and I don't really think I had anything to do with it. I have every confidence that the world views him positively especially because he is handsome, which is ridiculous but absolutely a factor.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Boys have effectively been emasculated by feminist teachers and drugged for fake ADHD diagnoses, it's no wonder the effects are starting to be felt in higher education.

Gosh this is so sad. I'm a feminist, but agree wholeheartedly that boys are so disadvantaged in ES and forced to sit still for hours and medicated when they can't. The system is failing these kids.

boys have had to sit in class for as long as classes have existed. The real difference is that they now have to compete on equal terms with girls

+1

Read about frontier schoolhouses. Boys were expected to sit still and be quiet, and often faced physical punishment if they disobeyed.

Also, girls can have ADHD, too.

While those are true statements, you can't ignore the statistics. Something has happened to this generation of boys.

they're having to compete with girls on equal terms. They're the first generation where those girls have parents and teachers/administrators largely have equal expectations regardless of gender

Especially in STEM. I have watched boys (and sometimes their parents) lose their sh!t because my DD was better in their engineering activity. Some coaches and mentors were more blunt (or willing) when it came down to telling the boys that she was better qualified.

Yeah and I have seen girls getting spots on a coveted team because they were girls. Gotta have that 50/50 you know!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We are Asian and I have a son with ADHD and a daughter without. I completely reject any notion that boys have it harder overall in their lives. Yes, my son has it terribly hard at school, and yes, it's harder for him to apply to college, because of his race and because of his grades impacted by his ADHD. But male privilege is such that he will be "saved" in his career by being male and given the benefit of the doubt, whereas my daughter, despite great intelligence and functional skills, will always need to prove herself at every rung of the ladder.

So take this recent data in perspective.

See, that's how we got here, and seems it will get much worse (with the above thinking currently prevalent). What the heck's male privilege anyway? Anecdotally at my fortune 500 workplace the majority of senior execs are female and have been so over the last decade. At my top 20 college the STEM program I graduated from is now 'intentionally' held at 50/50 percentage breakdown between men & women with some years favoring more women than men. I've seen the HS credentials of lots of the women being admitted and you can tell they've been systematically exposed to more STEM programs (girls who code, kode with klossy, numerous university sponsored 'women in engineering' programs) burnishing their resumes than the men. Also many more 'math support' groups for young women both in HS and within the colleges. Those programs specifically exclude male students and this is fueling my alma mater's engineering school (and likely other schools as well) now having to artificially maintain a semblance of gender balance by 'putting a thumb on the scale' to ensure men get to attend. View from the STEM perspective.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Agree that girls can have ADHD too - but I do think that the numbers of medicated boys these days is staggering and really sad.

Such bs.

Why? I believe this is true, and even as a feminist I think it's awful that an entire generation of little kids (boys) are drugged up in order to do school successfully.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:With higher paying trade work being more male dominated is it any wonder that fewer of them are going to college?

Spoiler alert: The guy making $150k as a plumber is in a better position than the woman making $75k as an exec assistant with loan debt.

I have a number of friends in the trades. Talk to them when they're mid 40s and have worked 20-25 years already. The work is physically grinding and takes a toll. One injury and you're out of work for weeks or months.

Reminds me of a guy I was talking to last week, who did refrigeration and HVAC. He had to quit because he was on call 24/7 to fix commercial refrig units and body couldn't handle getting calls at 3am to drive out and fix some broken ice cream freezer at Giant. He was in his early 50s.

I have friends in their 50s working in the trades and while it is physical work, they're still at it. And GREAT union benefits. Health insurance, pension...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We are Asian and I have a son with ADHD and a daughter without. I completely reject any notion that boys have it harder overall in their lives. Yes, my son has it terribly hard at school, and yes, it's harder for him to apply to college, because of his race and because of his grades impacted by his ADHD. But male privilege is such that he will be "saved" in his career by being male and given the benefit of the doubt, whereas my daughter, despite great intelligence and functional skills, will always need to prove herself at every rung of the ladder.

So take this recent data in perspective.

See, that's how we got here, and seems it will get much worse (with the above thinking currently prevalent). What the heck's male privilege anyway? Anecdotally at my fortune 500 workplace the majority of senior execs are female and have been so over the last decade. At my top 20 college the STEM program I graduated from is now 'intentionally' held at 50/50 percentage breakdown between men & women with some years favoring more women than men. I've seen the HS credentials of lots of the women being admitted and you can tell they've been systematically exposed to more STEM programs (girls who code, kode with klossy, numerous university sponsored 'women in engineering' programs) burnishing their resumes than the men. Also many more 'math support' groups for young women both in HS and within the colleges. Those programs specifically exclude male students and this is fueling my alma mater's engineering school (and likely other schools as well) now having to artificially maintain a semblance of gender balance by 'putting a thumb on the scale' to ensure men get to attend. View from the STEM perspective.

I have worked in IT for 25 years and your experience is not at all typical. Or at least it's not driving the workforce. More than 80 percent of the resumes I get for junior developers and other entry level positions are from men. For senior positions it's closer to 98 percent male.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We are Asian and I have a son with ADHD and a daughter without. I completely reject any notion that boys have it harder overall in their lives. Yes, my son has it terribly hard at school, and yes, it's harder for him to apply to college, because of his race and because of his grades impacted by his ADHD. But male privilege is such that he will be "saved" in his career by being male and given the benefit of the doubt, whereas my daughter, despite great intelligence and functional skills, will always need to prove herself at every rung of the ladder.

So take this recent data in perspective.

See, that's how we got here, and seems it will get much worse (with the above thinking currently prevalent). What the heck's male privilege anyway? Anecdotally at my fortune 500 workplace the majority of senior execs are female and have been so over the last decade. At my top 20 college the STEM program I graduated from is now 'intentionally' held at 50/50 percentage breakdown between men & women with some years favoring more women than men. I've seen the HS credentials of lots of the women being admitted and you can tell they've been systematically exposed to more STEM programs (girls who code, kode with klossy, numerous university sponsored 'women in engineering' programs) burnishing their resumes than the men. Also many more 'math support' groups for young women both in HS and within the colleges. Those programs specifically exclude male students and this is fueling my alma mater's engineering school (and likely other schools as well) now having to artificially maintain a semblance of gender balance by 'putting a thumb on the scale' to ensure men get to attend. View from the STEM perspective.

Interesting choice of words. 15 or 20 years ago those stem programs would have been overwhelmingly male, half of those seats are now occupied by women. Since you mention Fortune 500, 2019 was a banner year for women in leadership; 33 of those companies had women CEOs. With only 93.4% of CEO positions at fortune 500s, clearly men can't succeed in this environment

[Anonymous]

I think that men really only have 2 options: make it in society or don't make it. The "make its" go to college, good $$ salary, are able to compete for good spouses. The "don't make its" end up with no jobs, low salaries, dating issues because potential spouses don't want to make double or triple what their husbands make, prison. There isn't a great middle ground.

Women have more options and ability to succeed in society. Men don't care that they make more money than their wives. Men are okay having a SAHM who is great with children. Women's only value isn't our earning potential the way it seems to be for men. Part of this is also that men haven't found a good way to step it up at home. My dh is a fantastic 50% partner at home, but he couldn't do it all. He'd be lousy as a SAHD and couldn't do all of the chores himself like many women do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think that men really only have 2 options: make it in society or don't make it. The "make its" go to college, good $$ salary, are able to compete for good spouses. The "don't make its" end up with no jobs, low salaries, dating issues because potential spouses don't want to make double or triple what their husbands make, prison. There isn't a great middle ground.

Women have more options and ability to succeed in society. Men don't care that they make more money than their wives. Men are okay having a SAHM who is great with children. Women's only value isn't our earning potential the way it seems to be for men. Part of this is also that men haven't found a good way to step it up at home. My dh is a fantastic 50% partner at home, but he couldn't do it all. He'd be lousy as a SAHD and couldn't do all of the chores himself like many women do.

I agree that men's roles in our current society are so much more fixed. There's more flexibility for women.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:With higher paying trade work being more male dominated is it any wonder that fewer of them are going to college?

Spoiler alert: The guy making $150k as a plumber is in a better position than the woman making $75k as an exec assistant with loan debt.

I have a number of friends in the trades. Talk to them when they're mid 40s and have worked 20-25 years already. The work is physically grinding and takes a toll. One injury and you're out of work for weeks or months.

Reminds me of a guy I was talking to last week, who did refrigeration and HVAC. He had to quit because he was on call 24/7 to fix commercial refrig units and body couldn't handle getting calls at 3am to drive out and fix some broken ice cream freezer at Giant. He was in his early 50s.

I have friends in their 50s working in the trades and while it is physical work, they're still at it. And GREAT union benefits. Health insurance, pension...

NP. The set up is that when you're in your 50s, you should have gotten some journeymen under you and you manage the company.