The boys just aren't going to college

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Agree that girls can have ADHD too - but I do think that the numbers of medicated boys these days is staggering and really sad.

Such bs.

Why? I believe this is true, and even as a feminist I think it's awful that an entire generation of little kids (boys) are drugged up in order to do school successfully.

Well thank God for you that we’re now living in a post-fact era, where what you “believe” to be true is JUST as important as what is ACTUALLY true 🙄

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We are Asian and I have a son with ADHD and a daughter without. I completely reject any notion that boys have it harder overall in their lives. Yes, my son has it terribly hard at school, and yes, it's harder for him to apply to college, because of his race and because of his grades impacted by his ADHD. But male privilege is such that he will be "saved" in his career by being male and given the benefit of the doubt, whereas my daughter, despite great intelligence and functional skills, will always need to prove herself at every rung of the ladder.

So take this recent data in perspective.

It isn’t harder because he is Asian. Give me a freaking break.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When I went to college for engineering 20 years ago, only 10% of students were female. I viisted last year and it's about 50-50 now. The efforts to get girls to study STEM are really paying off.

But.. there are no efforts to get boys to study anything. It's like all the resources were directed to girls, and boys got nothing. It's sad.

Because men studying and getting everything already was/is the DEFAULT! This line of thinking is so asinine. Duh!

These are the same morons who think there needs to be a Boys on the Run.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We are Asian and I have a son with ADHD and a daughter without. I completely reject any notion that boys have it harder overall in their lives. Yes, my son has it terribly hard at school, and yes, it's harder for him to apply to college, because of his race and because of his grades impacted by his ADHD. But male privilege is such that he will be "saved" in his career by being male and given the benefit of the doubt, whereas my daughter, despite great intelligence and functional skills, will always need to prove herself at every rung of the ladder.

So take this recent data in perspective.

It isn’t harder because he is Asian. Give me a freaking break.

data says otherwise.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We are Asian and I have a son with ADHD and a daughter without. I completely reject any notion that boys have it harder overall in their lives. Yes, my son has it terribly hard at school, and yes, it's harder for him to apply to college, because of his race and because of his grades impacted by his ADHD. But male privilege is such that he will be "saved" in his career by being male and given the benefit of the doubt, whereas my daughter, despite great intelligence and functional skills, will always need to prove herself at every rung of the ladder.

So take this recent data in perspective.

It isn’t harder because he is Asian. Give me a freaking break.

You really don’t know how college applications work do you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We are Asian and I have a son with ADHD and a daughter without. I completely reject any notion that boys have it harder overall in their lives. Yes, my son has it terribly hard at school, and yes, it's harder for him to apply to college, because of his race and because of his grades impacted by his ADHD. But male privilege is such that he will be "saved" in his career by being male and given the benefit of the doubt, whereas my daughter, despite great intelligence and functional skills, will always need to prove herself at every rung of the ladder.

So take this recent data in perspective.

It isn’t harder because he is Asian. Give me a freaking break.

data says otherwise.

This thread is about going to college, not going to Yale.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This quotation resonated with me based on my experience with my boys, who are not POC. It is ever worse for boys of color.

"We have a lot of young men who are completely disengaged from our society because quite frankly they don’t feel they’re being valued as men. So they think, why even try when everybody sees me as a thug, as a delinquent, when everyone assumes the worst of me instead of assuming the best of me?”

Pedro Hidalgo, another senior at University Park, said he “never had that belief within myself” that he could go to college. Then “teachers in middle school actually helped me realize that I’m more than what I seem to think that I am at times. They just helped me progressively become more confident with my abilities, not even as just a student, but as a person.”

With the extreme demands put on teachers (administrative and otherwise), it is more difficult than ever for them to have the time to connect with those borderline/fringe students to help them become more confident. Instead, they are continuously told from a young age that they are bad, stupid, and hopeless, and that message is internalized.

That's very whiney and non-man like.

Maybe they don't treat you like a man because you don't behave like one?

If it's just one guy, your criticism is founded. If it's the entire generation (60% of college undergrads are female), then it's systemic.

A 10% imbalance is "the entire generation"?

You guys do this every time, like clockwork. Take a documented problem faced by black and brown boys, generalize it to white boys based on nothing, then claim it's oppression against white boys.

60/40 isn't a 10% imbalance. It's a 50% imbalance. Trust the science.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The experiences outlined in the article aren't limited to young men of color, though their disconnection from school may be the most dramatic and visible failure of our education system. My DD was also told by teachers and admin repeatedly that she would never go to college, most likely never finish high school. And guess what? She heard and believed. She won't go to college, either.

Public education has a lot to answer for.

Defund public schools. Fund students.

[Anonymous]

Ah, no.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This quotation resonated with me based on my experience with my boys, who are not POC. It is ever worse for boys of color.

"We have a lot of young men who are completely disengaged from our society because quite frankly they don’t feel they’re being valued as men. So they think, why even try when everybody sees me as a thug, as a delinquent, when everyone assumes the worst of me instead of assuming the best of me?”

Pedro Hidalgo, another senior at University Park, said he “never had that belief within myself” that he could go to college. Then “teachers in middle school actually helped me realize that I’m more than what I seem to think that I am at times. They just helped me progressively become more confident with my abilities, not even as just a student, but as a person.”

With the extreme demands put on teachers (administrative and otherwise), it is more difficult than ever for them to have the time to connect with those borderline/fringe students to help them become more confident. Instead, they are continuously told from a young age that they are bad, stupid, and hopeless, and that message is internalized.

That's very whiney and non-man like.

Maybe they don't treat you like a man because you don't behave like one?

If it's just one guy, your criticism is founded. If it's the entire generation (60% of college undergrads are female), then it's systemic.

A 10% imbalance is "the entire generation"?

You guys do this every time, like clockwork. Take a documented problem faced by black and brown boys, generalize it to white boys based on nothing, then claim it's oppression against white boys.

Agree. Fewer teen boys meet the requirements for college acceptance than in years past. That’s on the parents. Boys are held to the same academic standard for admission as girls. That was not always the case. Instead of whining and cheating, maybe teach your son respect for others, give him a work ethic, and check the requirements before they begin high school so you can assure they will qualify.

You sound so unaware and out of touch. The number of boys medicated for ADHD vastly outnumbers the number of girls, particularly BIPOC boys, just to get through a school system that is wildly biased against BIPOC and low income boys. "Work ethic" doesn't solve the issue, which is the systematic bias faced by low income and BIPOC boys in the school system. The school system is discarding a generation of BIPOC and low income boys, but sure, it's just "work ethic."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just one person’s observations:

I have 2 boys and 1 girl. All college educated with science degrees and all in various forms of health and tech. The youngest is currently a college junior. I think mostly it has to do with family expectations and helping them find a college setting in which they can thrive (not necessarily a top 20 school or whatever). Their friends I’ve seen falter had parents that were too hung up in pushing for collée and career, prestige, salary, etc.

I have 3 children, all boys. One is headed to college this fall (he's in at his first choice), one sophomore, one middle school. My sophomore likely will not go to college. We have been requesting accommodations from the school for 4 years to address his inattentive ADHD and executive function issues - the school has refused. DS has ended up with depression due to the school's refusal. We, his parents, have to put his mental health first. Unfortunately, the school refuses to educate him. Our family expectation was that all of our children would go to college. We didn't anticipate that the school system would fail one of our children so completely and dramatically.

If your son has been diagnosed with ADHD, has executive functioning issues, and attends a public school, he should be able to qualify for a 504 plan or possibly special education. There does have to be an impact on his education (academic or behavioral), but assuming the impact can be shown, ADHD is a medical diagnosis and is the reason many students qualify for 504 plans.

DP. Are you posting from an imaginary land of milk and honey, where school systems genuinely support children with disabilities, especially brown boys? That is lovely but we are talking about reality, not your imaginary world.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just one person’s observations:

I have 2 boys and 1 girl. All college educated with science degrees and all in various forms of health and tech. The youngest is currently a college junior. I think mostly it has to do with family expectations and helping them find a college setting in which they can thrive (not necessarily a top 20 school or whatever). Their friends I’ve seen falter had parents that were too hung up in pushing for collée and career, prestige, salary, etc.

I have 3 children, all boys. One is headed to college this fall (he's in at his first choice), one sophomore, one middle school. My sophomore likely will not go to college. We have been requesting accommodations from the school for 4 years to address his inattentive ADHD and executive function issues - the school has refused. DS has ended up with depression due to the school's refusal. We, his parents, have to put his mental health first. Unfortunately, the school refuses to educate him. Our family expectation was that all of our children would go to college. We didn't anticipate that the school system would fail one of our children so completely and dramatically.

If your son has been diagnosed with ADHD, has executive functioning issues, and attends a public school, he should be able to qualify for a 504 plan or possibly special education. There does have to be an impact on his education (academic or behavioral), but assuming the impact can be shown, ADHD is a medical diagnosis and is the reason many students qualify for 504 plans.

DP. Are you posting from an imaginary land of milk and honey, where school systems genuinely support children with disabilities, especially brown boys? That is lovely but we are talking about reality, not your imaginary world.

NP. My kid with inattentive ADHD in DCPS had a 504 and schools - elementary through high school were good about accommodations. This is a legal requirement and if your school is not complying with the law you have grounds for a lawsuit.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just one person’s observations:

I have 2 boys and 1 girl. All college educated with science degrees and all in various forms of health and tech. The youngest is currently a college junior. I think mostly it has to do with family expectations and helping them find a college setting in which they can thrive (not necessarily a top 20 school or whatever). Their friends I’ve seen falter had parents that were too hung up in pushing for collée and career, prestige, salary, etc.

I have 3 children, all boys. One is headed to college this fall (he's in at his first choice), one sophomore, one middle school. My sophomore likely will not go to college. We have been requesting accommodations from the school for 4 years to address his inattentive ADHD and executive function issues - the school has refused. DS has ended up with depression due to the school's refusal. We, his parents, have to put his mental health first. Unfortunately, the school refuses to educate him. Our family expectation was that all of our children would go to college. We didn't anticipate that the school system would fail one of our children so completely and dramatically.

If your son has been diagnosed with ADHD, has executive functioning issues, and attends a public school, he should be able to qualify for a 504 plan or possibly special education. There does have to be an impact on his education (academic or behavioral), but assuming the impact can be shown, ADHD is a medical diagnosis and is the reason many students qualify for 504 plans.

DP. Are you posting from an imaginary land of milk and honey, where school systems genuinely support children with disabilities, especially brown boys? That is lovely but we are talking about reality, not your imaginary world.

NP. My kid with inattentive ADHD in DCPS had a 504 and schools - elementary through high school were good about accommodations. This is a legal requirement and if your school is not complying with the law you have grounds for a lawsuit.

I'm not. I'm posting from my experience and current job as a 504 coordinator. I also know the law, and as DP mentioned, if schools are not providing 504 or special education support when needed, there are many advocates and law firms who are available to help families. 504 eligibility is a team decision and that team should include the 504 coordinator, an administrator (if different from the coordinator), one or more of the student's teachers, parents/guardians, and depending on the age, the student. Advocates or attorneys are also allowed to attend, but most school systems would prefer to have advance notice when either will be present. It doesn't change how I run the meeting, I just have to let my supervisor know.

I recognize that all school systems may not follow the law and that some make it more difficult than necessary for students to receive services, but in those instances, I hope parents will continue to advocate for their children and seek guidance from someone who can help.

[Anonymous]

To the 504 coordinator, even in schools that support 504s, the actual administration comes down to individual teachers who are human and busy. In our experience, especially in high school with 7-8 different teachers who switch out each semester, most teachers just don’t pay attention or want to take the time to follow the accomodations other than easy to implement ones like preferred seating and extra time. And my kid’s is a “best case scenario” in that he is a good self advocate and I also pay attention and speak up. The reality is that these plans are better on paper than substantively, and your “ivory tower” response reminds me of the ones we get in DS’s annual 504 meeting when it is very clear that the administrators who approve the plan have no idea what the reality in the classroom is. Never evidenced moreso than in distance learning.
-NP

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:And yet, women in the work force have been disproportionately impacted by losing their jobs. An interesting contradiction.

Not really. There's good evidence that more boys skip college because they anticipate better job opportunities without a college degree. They don't see the need for college in the same way that young women do.