The boys just aren't going to college

[Anonymous]

Parents are too quick to think their sons "aren't ready for college"

[Anonymous]

The experiences outlined in the article aren't limited to young men of color, though their disconnection from school may be the most dramatic and visible failure of our education system. My DD was also told by teachers and admin repeatedly that she would never go to college, most likely never finish high school. And guess what? She heard and believed. She won't go to college, either.

Public education has a lot to answer for.

[Anonymous]

That's on the prarents...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Parents are too quick to think their sons "aren't ready for college"

They have been trained to think that way by preschool and ES teachers starting with preschool - kids aren't mature enough for K and then that carries on to college.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This quotation resonated with me based on my experience with my boys, who are not POC. It is ever worse for boys of color.

"We have a lot of young men who are completely disengaged from our society because quite frankly they don’t feel they’re being valued as men. So they think, why even try when everybody sees me as a thug, as a delinquent, when everyone assumes the worst of me instead of assuming the best of me?”

Pedro Hidalgo, another senior at University Park, said he “never had that belief within myself” that he could go to college. Then “teachers in middle school actually helped me realize that I’m more than what I seem to think that I am at times. They just helped me progressively become more confident with my abilities, not even as just a student, but as a person.”

With the extreme demands put on teachers (administrative and otherwise), it is more difficult than ever for them to have the time to connect with those borderline/fringe students to help them become more confident. Instead, they are continuously told from a young age that they are bad, stupid, and hopeless, and that message is internalized.

This is why I like my son's all boys school, which has a lot of boys of color too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just one person’s observations:

I have 2 boys and 1 girl. All college educated with science degrees and all in various forms of health and tech. The youngest is currently a college junior. I think mostly it has to do with family expectations and helping them find a college setting in which they can thrive (not necessarily a top 20 school or whatever). Their friends I’ve seen falter had parents that were too hung up in pushing for collée and career, prestige, salary, etc.

I have 3 children, all boys. One is headed to college this fall (he's in at his first choice), one sophomore, one middle school. My sophomore likely will not go to college. We have been requesting accommodations from the school for 4 years to address his inattentive ADHD and executive function issues - the school has refused. DS has ended up with depression due to the school's refusal. We, his parents, have to put his mental health first. Unfortunately, the school refuses to educate him. Our family expectation was that all of our children would go to college. We didn't anticipate that the school system would fail one of our children so completely and dramatically.

If your son has been diagnosed with ADHD, has executive functioning issues, and attends a public school, he should be able to qualify for a 504 plan or possibly special education. There does have to be an impact on his education (academic or behavioral), but assuming the impact can be shown, ADHD is a medical diagnosis and is the reason many students qualify for 504 plans.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just one person’s observations:

I have 2 boys and 1 girl. All college educated with science degrees and all in various forms of health and tech. The youngest is currently a college junior. I think mostly it has to do with family expectations and helping them find a college setting in which they can thrive (not necessarily a top 20 school or whatever). Their friends I’ve seen falter had parents that were too hung up in pushing for collée and career, prestige, salary, etc.

I have 3 children, all boys. One is headed to college this fall (he's in at his first choice), one sophomore, one middle school. My sophomore likely will not go to college. We have been requesting accommodations from the school for 4 years to address his inattentive ADHD and executive function issues - the school has refused. DS has ended up with depression due to the school's refusal. We, his parents, have to put his mental health first. Unfortunately, the school refuses to educate him. Our family expectation was that all of our children would go to college. We didn't anticipate that the school system would fail one of our children so completely and dramatically.

If your son has been diagnosed with ADHD, has executive functioning issues, and attends a public school, he should be able to qualify for a 504 plan or possibly special education. There does have to be an impact on his education (academic or behavioral), but assuming the impact can be shown, ADHD is a medical diagnosis and is the reason many students qualify for 504 plans.

Not the PP but it is easier said than done.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When I went to college for engineering 20 years ago, only 10% of students were female. I viisted last year and it's about 50-50 now. The efforts to get girls to study STEM are really paying off.

But.. there are no efforts to get boys to study anything. It's like all the resources were directed to girls, and boys got nothing. It's sad.

I guess men need to step up and start encouraging their sons to get into teaching and nursing. Why haven't men done this?

Because you can barely make a living as a teacher. How will men find wives when they care barely pay their own bills?

If men want equity they need to be willing to do this work, otherwise they're full of it. FYI: men with less money than teachers get married every day. Are you from the past??

I know male teachers married to lawyers and scientists. Plus, a male teacher will have many opportunities to get to know female colleagues. A two-income teacher household can do just fine, especially if one of them holds down a summer job, too (like camp director or swim team coach).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just one person’s observations:

I have 2 boys and 1 girl. All college educated with science degrees and all in various forms of health and tech. The youngest is currently a college junior. I think mostly it has to do with family expectations and helping them find a college setting in which they can thrive (not necessarily a top 20 school or whatever). Their friends I’ve seen falter had parents that were too hung up in pushing for collée and career, prestige, salary, etc.

I have 3 children, all boys. One is headed to college this fall (he's in at his first choice), one sophomore, one middle school. My sophomore likely will not go to college. We have been requesting accommodations from the school for 4 years to address his inattentive ADHD and executive function issues - the school has refused. DS has ended up with depression due to the school's refusal. We, his parents, have to put his mental health first. Unfortunately, the school refuses to educate him. Our family expectation was that all of our children would go to college. We didn't anticipate that the school system would fail one of our children so completely and dramatically.

That sucks, but you realize that this would happen if your DS was a DD, right? It's not like they are not accommodating him because of his gender.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This quotation resonated with me based on my experience with my boys, who are not POC. It is ever worse for boys of color.

"We have a lot of young men who are completely disengaged from our society because quite frankly they don’t feel they’re being valued as men. So they think, why even try when everybody sees me as a thug, as a delinquent, when everyone assumes the worst of me instead of assuming the best of me?”

Pedro Hidalgo, another senior at University Park, said he “never had that belief within myself” that he could go to college. Then “teachers in middle school actually helped me realize that I’m more than what I seem to think that I am at times. They just helped me progressively become more confident with my abilities, not even as just a student, but as a person.”

With the extreme demands put on teachers (administrative and otherwise), it is more difficult than ever for them to have the time to connect with those borderline/fringe students to help them become more confident. Instead, they are continuously told from a young age that they are bad, stupid, and hopeless, and that message is internalized.

This is why I like my son's all boys school, which has a lot of boys of color too.

When my son started struggling with school in 9th grade we made a point of hiring young men as tutors -- one for Spanish and one for executive function issues. Having these young men as role models I think helped him better see a future as a successful college student. They really inspired him to work harder and aim higher for college than his mostly female teachers or his annoying parents ever did. Where he is now as a senior is light years away from him as a freshman. He's 100% ready for college in a challenging STEM major and has a clear idea of where he wants to end up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just one person’s observations:

I have 2 boys and 1 girl. All college educated with science degrees and all in various forms of health and tech. The youngest is currently a college junior. I think mostly it has to do with family expectations and helping them find a college setting in which they can thrive (not necessarily a top 20 school or whatever). Their friends I’ve seen falter had parents that were too hung up in pushing for collée and career, prestige, salary, etc.

I have 3 children, all boys. One is headed to college this fall (he's in at his first choice), one sophomore, one middle school. My sophomore likely will not go to college. We have been requesting accommodations from the school for 4 years to address his inattentive ADHD and executive function issues - the school has refused. DS has ended up with depression due to the school's refusal. We, his parents, have to put his mental health first. Unfortunately, the school refuses to educate him. Our family expectation was that all of our children would go to college. We didn't anticipate that the school system would fail one of our children so completely and dramatically.

If you have the means, I’d get your son out of that school ASAP. Sound like it is harming his self esteem and you could do better at a school that understands EF issues. Even if your son had a 504 plan at his current school, sounds like it would be an uphill battle to enforce it. Many privates have applications open until February and beyond. The college money could be used to help him now. Then smaller college or CC (nothing wrong with that) unless/until you can figure out next steps. Good luck to you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The pandemic is speeding up the mass disappearance of men from college
The decline in enrollment has been seven times as steep among men as among women

https://hechingerreport.org/the-pandemic-is-speeding-up-the-mass-disappearance-of-men-from-college/

Implication - it is going to be harder for the girls to get in.

Maybe we shouldn't worry about balance and let the person with the better grades etc get in.

And when has that ever happened? With legacies, full pay, donations, bribes, etc colleges have never been about the "better" person.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This quotation resonated with me based on my experience with my boys, who are not POC. It is ever worse for boys of color.

"We have a lot of young men who are completely disengaged from our society because quite frankly they don’t feel they’re being valued as men. So they think, why even try when everybody sees me as a thug, as a delinquent, when everyone assumes the worst of me instead of assuming the best of me?”

Pedro Hidalgo, another senior at University Park, said he “never had that belief within myself” that he could go to college. Then “teachers in middle school actually helped me realize that I’m more than what I seem to think that I am at times. They just helped me progressively become more confident with my abilities, not even as just a student, but as a person.”

With the extreme demands put on teachers (administrative and otherwise), it is more difficult than ever for them to have the time to connect with those borderline/fringe students to help them become more confident. Instead, they are continuously told from a young age that they are bad, stupid, and hopeless, and that message is internalized.

That's very whiney and non-man like.

Maybe they don't treat you like a man because you don't behave like one?

If it's just one guy, your criticism is founded. If it's the entire generation (60% of college undergrads are female), then it's systemic.

A 10% imbalance is "the entire generation"?

You guys do this every time, like clockwork. Take a documented problem faced by black and brown boys, generalize it to white boys based on nothing, then claim it's oppression against white boys.

Agree. Fewer teen boys meet the requirements for college acceptance than in years past. That’s on the parents. Boys are held to the same academic standard for admission as girls. That was not always the case. Instead of whining and cheating, maybe teach your son respect for others, give him a work ethic, and check the requirements before they begin high school so you can assure they will qualify.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The pandemic is speeding up the mass disappearance of men from college
The decline in enrollment has been seven times as steep among men as among women

https://hechingerreport.org/the-pandemic-is-speeding-up-the-mass-disappearance-of-men-from-college/

Implication - it is going to be harder for the girls to get in.

How does it make it harder for the girls to get in if the men aren’t going? Seems like the opposite would be true since there would be less competition for slots.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:When I went to college for engineering 20 years ago, only 10% of students were female. I viisted last year and it's about 50-50 now. The efforts to get girls to study STEM are really paying off.

But.. there are no efforts to get boys to study anything. It's like all the resources were directed to girls, and boys got nothing. It's sad.

Because men studying and getting everything already was/is the DEFAULT! This line of thinking is so asinine. Duh!