Reply to Fiancé wants a "nicer" engagement ring?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]The two of you need to have a much bigger money discussion.  How will money be spent, saved?  What's important--travel, home, kids, private schools, retirement, SAHP?

The ring is indicative that she has certain expectations.  You may not financially be able to meet them.  For both of you, it's better to know that now before getting married.[/quote]

I agree with this 100%. My wife and I spend less than $1000 total on our rings, but have the same expensive taste in travel so we went big on the honeymoon. I think this is a larger question about values and not about the ring. Honestly, I have never understood spending anywhere close to a paycheck on a ring let alone however many months of salary the jewelry industry recommends. I found the right person for me and it works because our values on how we save and spend are aligned. If you all don't have enough knowledge of one another's finances, I think it may be premature for a proposal.

BTW- my wife is not the first woman I proposed to...I had an engagement that fell apart over something very similar during the wedding planning. I asked my father to help me make up some of the costs and he said "no". I never knew if it was because he couldn't or wouldn't help. When we talked about it many years later he said he had a gut feeling the engagement was wrong and we needed to be forced in to a serious conversation about something big because that is what makes a marriage last. It took me a long time to get over the engagement/relationship ending and the fact that my father wouldn't help me make it work. In retrospect, he saved me from a really bad choice. Hard lesson, but maybe you can take something from it?

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