Spouse asks you to come home from later

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’d assume the kids we’re doing some sort of Xmas gift project or something.

That was my first thought too. OP, you are going to eat some crow in about a week.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:All the old bitter skeptical and suspicious folks grumbling about how annoying and odd the request is.

What happened to your optimism?
What happened to your faith in the one you love?
Any of you even stop to think your spouse could be setting things up for a surprise romantic evening for you two?

Sheesh.

Because the nature of the request is odd. Telling the spouse that it's easier if they aren't home during the playdate signals that there is something wrong with the spouse.

I've planned surprise things for DH. I ask him to pick me up something from the store. Plus, if ops spouse is hosting a playdate that means they are home and would have time to set.up a surprise without telling them they couldn't come home.

[Anonymous]

Maybe spouse is planning a surprise

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’d assume the kids we’re doing some sort of Xmas gift project or something.

That was my first thought too. OP, you are going to eat some crow in about a week.

I think ops spouse could have asked differently. The way they asked is pretty rude.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I always ask my spouse to come home a little later if they were going to come home in the middle of bedtime routine. Either come home before bedtime routine or after they’re in bed but not in the middle.

You must be very fragile.

We did the same for babysitters.

[Anonymous]

Depends on how your marriage is otherwise. I'd 100% think it was surprise for me-related. Not everyone would or should.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Maybe spouse is planning a surprise

Then they suck at planning surprises. Making your spouse feel like there's something wrong with them and they need to stay hidden from guests is a horrible way to surprise them.

[Anonymous]

We don't do surprises, so this would be weird to me, too.

[Anonymous]

This wouldn’t bother me.
Sometimes you want to host your friends in your home, and having your spouse there changes the dynamic. I can imagine two dads and two toddlers hanging out might have a different feel than two dads, two toddlers, and a wife/mom.

I am perfectly capable of entertaining myself for a couple of hours.

[Anonymous]

I think it's reasonable to ask why it would be easier, but also be open to the reason. When my kids were younger, we had a weekly Friday afternoon playgroup. If a spouse came home while playgroup was still going on, people tended to take it as a sign that it was time to wrap up and go home so that the spouse didn't have to listen to all the kid craziness. If I hadn't seen them for a week or two or was really craving some time with my friends and it was our turn to host, I would ask DH to make plans to get dinner with a friend or something so that I could have some extra playground time. Wasn't anything inappropriate or something personal about DH, just the general dynamic.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:All the old bitter skeptical and suspicious folks grumbling about how annoying and odd the request is.

What happened to your optimism?
What happened to your faith in the one you love?
Any of you even stop to think your spouse could be setting things up for a surprise romantic evening for you two?

Sheesh.

Because the nature of the request is odd. Telling the spouse that it's easier if they aren't home during the playdate signals that there is something wrong with the spouse.

I've planned surprise things for DH. I ask him to pick me up something from the store. Plus, if ops spouse is hosting a playdate that means they are home and would have time to set.up a surprise without telling them they couldn't come home.

Really? Is it ok to hang out with friends outside of your home without your spouse? Or does that also imply that there is something wrong?

[Anonymous]

OP here again. No there's no surprise involved. Spouse hates surprises. The explanation was that it would just make managing the playdate and dinner a bit easier with a house full of kids with their friends in the middle of the week.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I know this is a bit of an inane question, but I'm curious. If your spouse asked you (ONE night) to come home a bit later from work because of an extended playdate and dinner, would you be upset? Spouse was non-specific about why - merely explained that it would make things a little easier for the playdate.

Christmas is in a week. If you observe it it may have to do with a surprise gift.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I know this is a bit of an inane question, but I'm curious. If your spouse asked you (ONE night) to come home a bit later from work because of an extended playdate and dinner, would you be upset? Spouse was non-specific about why - merely explained that it would make things a little easier for the playdate.

Christmas is in a week. If you observe it it may have to do with a surprise gift.

It's not related to a surprise.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here again. No there's no surprise involved. Spouse hates surprises. The explanation was that it would just make managing the playdate and dinner a bit easier with a house full of kids with their friends in the middle of the week.

I don’t get why this is so offensive. Can’t your spouse have one night to focus on his/her friends instead of taking care of you?

If anything, I would feel embarrassed that I consistently make life more difficult for my spouse.