Spouse asks you to come home from later

[Anonymous]

is that play date with AP/

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here and yeah, I'm realizing I offended my spouse. I am the one who asked DH to come home an hour later than usual. He seemed offended and couldn't understand why, and I didn't want to answer specifically because I knew it would only make it worse and I didn't want to hurt his feelings. So I was just very vague.

Basically I suck at multi-tasking - so while I enjoy playdates, managing a house full of young kids, setting the table, cooking dinner, keeping an eye on them, getting them fed, cleaning up after dinner and all the toys, and maintaining some order while letting them have some fun is about my max of what I can handle. If he came home at his usual time, he would have come home just as I was getting dinner on the table and getting the kids to clean up and come to the table - the most crazy time for me.

The problem isn't that you aren't good at multi-taking. The problem is you have both a bad relationship with your husband and an incredibly unhelpful husband. You should be able to talk to him about this. And he should be able to come home and be a useful parent. Why couldn't he come home and clean up the toys while the kids ate? Or even just gone upstairs and not been helpful?

Np here. If my husband came home at that time, he would be helping me set the table, watching the kids, offering drinks for my guests or I would have him cook the food while I entertain. I mean we eat dinner everyday. It isn’t like I just serve him. He helps get dinner on the table.

OP here. DH tries his best to come home earlier just so he can try to have dinner with us - but that also means he has to finish up work at home - so he's simply unavailable while I'm prepping dinner, setting the table, watching the kids. He's on the couch on the computer or on his phone.

Also I have at least tried getting DH and kids involved in at least setting the table - because I feel it will make the process of getting everyone to the dinner table a smoother transition. But it has never worked. DH is distracted or something and it sounds silly but I think he actual has some invisible handicap that impairs his ability to set a table - I could explain a million times, but it never gets through. My 5yo son is actually better at it than he is - he and I seem to be the only ones in the house with the skill, so he or I usually do it.

And then getting DH to come to the table is always another challenge, and so the kids follow suit and don't want to sit to eat either. He's always finishing up something.

Sorry OP, but your husband is full of shit. If he is coming home earlier to be there for dinner but then won't come to the table when it's ready, why is he even bothering? Also, he can take a break upon arriving home and then get back to work after the kids go to bed. That's what the rest of us do. He has somehow turned into an entitled asshole, and it sounds like you are enabling this behavior.