If you're going to be rude and ask if a sibling can attend the birthday party

[Anonymous]

Say upfront that you can't accommodate siblings.

If asked, say you can't accommodate siblings.

I actually have zero problem with people asking. Some places it's not a big deal or numbers are low and it doesn't matter to the party organizer. Some people genuinely aren't going to be able to have the kid attend if they can't bring a sibling. So they want to know.

People ask. You answer.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I wish evites made clearer to whom they are addressed. My kids are little, so they do not have their own email addresses. But, they are also very close in age and are both friends with many of the same kids. Sometimes, I honestly cannot tell if the birthday kid is inviting one of my kids or both of them.

That said, I generally agree with OP that, if you have to ask, you should do so privately and in a way that makes it easy for the host to say no.

Here's a freaking hint. If it's a birthday party for a 6-year-old, YOUR 6-year-old who is in her Kindergarten class who is invited. The 3yo sibling she's never met is not. Your 8mo is not.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP - I state whether or not siblings are included in the initiation to avoid this.
So many people post here asking others to change when the easiest thing is to change yourself.

Because the envelope the invite is in that’s addressed to Larla —and Larla alone— is just too vague to decipher.

It happens. So you can complain about it or change your approach.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP - I state whether or not siblings are included in the initiation to avoid this.
So many people post here asking others to change when the easiest thing is to change yourself.

Because the envelope the invite is in that’s addressed to Larla —and Larla alone— is just too vague to decipher.

Your time machine is waiting outside to get back to the present.

No one is sending invitations in envelopes anymore.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I wish evites made clearer to whom they are addressed. My kids are little, so they do not have their own email addresses. But, they are also very close in age and are both friends with many of the same kids. Sometimes, I honestly cannot tell if the birthday kid is inviting one of my kids or both of them.

That said, I generally agree with OP that, if you have to ask, you should do so privately and in a way that makes it easy for the host to say no.

You can edit the evite to say the kid’s name only, if you want to.

[Anonymous]

Or... say no?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I wish evites made clearer to whom they are addressed. My kids are little, so they do not have their own email addresses. But, they are also very close in age and are both friends with many of the same kids. Sometimes, I honestly cannot tell if the birthday kid is inviting one of my kids or both of them.

That said, I generally agree with OP that, if you have to ask, you should do so privately and in a way that makes it easy for the host to say no.

Here's a freaking hint. If it's a birthday party for a 6-year-old, YOUR 6-year-old who is in her Kindergarten class who is invited. The 3yo sibling she's never met is not. Your 8mo is not.

It's really hard when you have twins, especially boy-girl twins. Are they both invited? What if they are in the same class? It is impossible to tell with evites.

[Anonymous]

OP here. You know what's tricky? Some siblings ARE invited, but some aren't. We genuinely socialize as a group with some families, and the siblings are close in age, etc. Or my cousin is welcome to bring all 4 of her kids, because that's family.

So I can't make some blanket "no sibling" statement when some siblings are invited.

I'm just frustrated because the people asking are all daycare folks we don't know well at all. But they all have my contact info, and I don't get why they couldn't ask PRIVATELY.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I wish evites made clearer to whom they are addressed. My kids are little, so they do not have their own email addresses. But, they are also very close in age and are both friends with many of the same kids. Sometimes, I honestly cannot tell if the birthday kid is inviting one of my kids or both of them.

That said, I generally agree with OP that, if you have to ask, you should do so privately and in a way that makes it easy for the host to say no.

Here's a freaking hint. If it's a birthday party for a 6-year-old, YOUR 6-year-old who is in her Kindergarten class who is invited. The 3yo sibling she's never met is not. Your 8mo is not.

It's really hard when you have twins, especially boy-girl twins. Are they both invited? What if they are in the same class? It is impossible to tell with evites.

Then use the contact information PROVIDED ON THE EVITE and PRIVATELY ask, if you must.

[Anonymous]

This is not foolproof - especially if the guest list is hidden.

But if the guest list is viewable - you can edit the guest list to say the kid’s name as opposed to the parent’s email.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP - I state whether or not siblings are included in the initiation to avoid this.
So many people post here asking others to change when the easiest thing is to change yourself.

Because the envelope the invite is in that’s addressed to Larla —and Larla alone— is just too vague to decipher.

Your time machine is waiting outside to get back to the present.

No one is sending invitations in envelopes anymore.

Every single classmate invite both my kids have received since K, has been paper invite in envelope.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. You know what's tricky? Some siblings ARE invited, but some aren't. We genuinely socialize as a group with some families, and the siblings are close in age, etc. Or my cousin is welcome to bring all 4 of her kids, because that's family.

So I can't make some blanket "no sibling" statement when some siblings are invited.

I'm just frustrated because the people asking are all daycare folks we don't know well at all. But they all have my contact info, and I don't get why they couldn't ask PRIVATELY.

Well I think that is kind of rude. I would welcome all siblings or not.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I wish evites made clearer to whom they are addressed. My kids are little, so they do not have their own email addresses. But, they are also very close in age and are both friends with many of the same kids. Sometimes, I honestly cannot tell if the birthday kid is inviting one of my kids or both of them.

That said, I generally agree with OP that, if you have to ask, you should do so privately and in a way that makes it easy for the host to say no.

You can edit the evite to say the kid’s name only, if you want to.

This! You can edit it to show the name of the invited child/children.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. You know what's tricky? Some siblings ARE invited, but some aren't. We genuinely socialize as a group with some families, and the siblings are close in age, etc. Or my cousin is welcome to bring all 4 of her kids, because that's family.

So I can't make some blanket "no sibling" statement when some siblings are invited.

I'm just frustrated because the people asking are all daycare folks we don't know well at all. But they all have my contact info, and I don't get why they couldn't ask PRIVATELY.

In that case you put a blanket announcement on the evite: “We can not accommodate siblings.” Then you text your cousin and close friends and say, of course all the cousins are invited and please bring all the kids since the birthday kid is friends with the whole family.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You messed up by publicly saying yes? And $100 is cheap in bday party world?

No, no. You misunderstood - in addition to paying the several hundred already budgeted for the friend party, it’s going to be an EXTRA $100 (at least) for people to bring siblings.

I didn’t misunderstand. An extra $100 isn’t that much for a blowout party like this.