Sister is pissed at me because I can’t do a girls weekend

[Anonymous]

Since you have kids, imagine you died and left them with no mom. Wouldn't you want them to be extra close and extra there for each other? Especailly with an age Gap, and the older one playing a large role with the younger?

That said, I'm mostly on your team IF you're not just making excuses. So think carefully if it's just an excuse. You shouldn't have to back out of your friend trips. But can you think of an alternative for your sister? Have her come to you for a weekend, early spring instead of skiing...something to make it work if she is in need of somefamily time?

I move away from family, and while that choice is on my, sometimes I need some good family time to keep me centered, and any amount of flexibility from them means the world to me.

[Anonymous]

1) Offer to pay for a hotel for her to visit you for a "staycation," where you can spend 1-2 nights in a hotel with her and do some fun DC things.

2) If you've got conference travel, offer to fly her out and she can stay in your room and join you for a dinner or two, a little pool time, etc. Stay one additional night if you need to.

3) Ask your college friends if she can come along on your college trip. My girlfriends would love this; they would say yes in a heartbeat.

[Anonymous]

You only have two free weekends a year? Can’t you just do a Friday night/Sat/Sunday?

[Anonymous]

Cancel the mom one and do one with with your sister. Sounds like she needs you.

[Anonymous]

Can't you do something together with your kids?
This seems like a compromise.

[Anonymous]

Your sister is an adult and surely understands that we don't always get what we want. She will be OK. Enjoy your travels.

[Anonymous]

When it is that important I always find a way to make something work. Maybe not a ski trip. And maybe for just an overnight. But there are a lot of weekends in the year. Anyway you probably don’t have to worry about it because damage done.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why don't you invite along to one of your already planned girls weekends?

+1 the more the merrier.

If that's not possible, I'd cancel the one with the friend's mom from school. Family is more important than that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your sister is an adult and surely understands that we don't always get what we want. She will be OK. Enjoy your travels.

+1. OP, I’m with you. I don’t see why you should cancel your existing plans. (And I have two sisters.)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Team OP. Why is everyone dumping on OP? She made plans and shouldn't have to change them because mid-November sister wants to go on a ski trip...

Suggestion for OP: make it a true weekend trip, rather than a long weekend, with your sister. Meet Friday night somewhere and go after work (even if you arrive very late), and head home Sunday later afternoon.

+1

A ski weekend means limiting it to Jan-March, and longer than an actual weekend. Why can sister come visit or plan something later in the year. And inviting sister to the other trips where she isn’t part of an established group is a bad idea all around.

[Anonymous]

No one believes that out of 52 weekends next year you already can’t spare a single extra one to spend with your sister.

[Anonymous]

Don't cancel any plans already committed to.

Don't invite her as a tag-a-long to already planned trips.

Do provide her with alternatives for getting together. She can accept or decline from there.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why don't you invite along to one of your already planned girls weekends?

+1 the more the merrier.

If that's not possible, I'd cancel the one with the friend's mom from school. Family is more important than that.

This is what I would do.

BTW, next time do not tell her your doing multiple girls weekends with other people. I can understand why her feelings are hurt. I think it's rather odd that you don't get this.

[Anonymous]

Geez-I'm all about family but Team OP here-to a point. No way should you cancel the two trips already planned but now you need to be open to another way to do a trip with your sister but she's gotta be flexible too. Is it being together or skiing that's her issue? Finding 36hrs on another weekend is totally doable but the time commitment for a ski weekend entails more in the planning and logistics. Offer her a indulgent weekend in an easy fly in/fly out city mid-way between you both. You can miss one soccer game with your kids to head out on an early Saturday flight and late Sunday return at barest minimum.

The red flag is sister bring so pissed she won't talk. That level
of drama is hard to negotiate with.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:That sounds kinda crappy you didn't think twice about doing it with others and excluded her.

Op is not required to pity invite her sister. Her sister’s presence would change the dynamic of the get away because she is not part of these groups. Sister needs to act like an adult. OP has a demanding life outside of her. Op I would ignore her pettiness and continue with your plans.