Angry wife posting again

[Anonymous]

I don't know why everyone is blaming you OP. I would not put up with his behavior at all. If he can't behave like an adult, then there is a problem.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP it is still you. You need to try another week where you just focus on yourself and your own reactions and stop worrying about what is “wrong” with your husband.

Last week the police came to your house because of your abusive behavior and this week you are mad about blueberries and convinced it proves you’re not the problem?

You need to start working on your own self with a therapist before you even think about policing your husband any more.

I disagree. We get married and have kids in part because we think that our life partner will be that.. a full life partner.. She has to be a mom to him and a single mom to their kids while working FT. That would drive me bonkers, and I'd be seriously angry and resentful.

If he has ADHD, then get the diagnosis and get on the meds. I have two kids and work. I didn't want a third child, nor did I ever want have to live like a single parent.

[Anonymous]

If my dh did those things I’d be worried he had a tumor in his brain. Definitely adhd. He needs stimulants too but something might be wrong with him.

How long has he been like this?

[Anonymous]

I think he's escalating as you make more of an effort to not respond and that individual therapy to talk about what's happening and how crazy this relationship is making you can only help. The more you can detach, the better, but that's really hard when you live with someone and raise kids together.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't know why everyone is blaming you OP. I would not put up with his behavior at all. If he can't behave like an adult, then there is a problem.

+1 seriously.. is the DH the same guy who posted on here how it's unacceptable that his wife calls him useless? Cause from what I've read, he is useless as a parent and life partner. Why are people giving this guy a pass on doing simple things for his family?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Adding to milk your coffee is unacceptable. I'm severely lactose intolerant. Something like that could derail my entire morning.

If someone loves you, then they treat you in a loving way. At the very least, they shouldn't be adding adding substances to your food that they know you are allergic to. If it was accident, he should've been apologetic instead acting like it was nbd.

When someone shows you who they are, believe them.

NP: I agree with this poster. There's something going on with your husband that doesn't seem to belong to ADHD or Asperger's categories. It might be possible to explain away the other incidents, but not the milk incident. Not a lot of ambiguity there.

[Anonymous]

When my ex-wife became a total control freak, I started to act like that. Treat me like a child, I'll act like a child, moron.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:When my ex-wife became a total control freak, I started to act like that. Treat me like a child, I'll act like a child, moron.

chicken and egg. Act like a child, and you will get treated like one, moron.

[Anonymous]

I don’t get this at all. 2 and 3 seem like you just being petty to screw with him. The blueberry yogurt story is bizarre. The outlet seems like being forgetful. The milk seems purposeful. This is all over the map!

[Anonymous]

He sounds like he is passive aggressive and also has control issues, OP. He wants to have plausible deniability by claiming that he was "trying to help" or "not trying to (piss you off)". ie: "it is not my fault, it is your fault for not accepting the bone I am throwing you." DH does this sh*t all the time, and I notice that his family members do, too - to each other, but mostly to DH. It is how they communicate, but it seems more like a useless p*ssing contest. By chance, dos your DH's family stoop to these levels? It may be all they know. Stand up for yourself, and stop letting him make you feel like you are asking too much, when you ask him to pick something up at the store (for example).

MIL is severely lazy to a point that I am convinced something is really truly wrong with her. It is exhausting and essentially saying things like "I don't feel like helping, so I did what I felt like doing, and you should accept that." Bull sh*t. Be a partner and contribute to the family in a loving manner. It is crazy making and gaslighting, too. I am so sorry you are going through this. It positively sucks to live with someone like this.

[Anonymous]

PP here. It is also extremely selfish behavior. Like I said, it is the example DH had by his parents, who very probably hated each other - no warmth, no communication, no wanting to be together, just pure suckiness - selfish, passive aggressive BS. Honestly, I hate his family for how they treated him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don’t get this at all. 2 and 3 seem like you just being petty to screw with him. The blueberry yogurt story is bizarre. The outlet seems like being forgetful. The milk seems purposeful. This is all over the map!

Agree with this. 2 doesn't seem bad at all neither really does 3. The milk thing seems bad but it's hard to tell if it was purposeful or if he's embarrassed he put the wrong milk in. At the same time, it seems weird to put milk in someone's coffee at all since that is an individual preference.

[Anonymous]

So much of this seems like confused thoughts or some other executive function issue. It doesn’t really seem to be purposeful in any way. Does he self manage dressing and daily personal activities for himself? I think the routine is helping with work activities. Anything outside of a routine seems to create issues.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So much of this seems like confused thoughts or some other executive function issue. It doesn’t really seem to be purposeful in any way. Does he self manage dressing and daily personal activities for himself? I think the routine is helping with work activities. Anything outside of a routine seems to create issues.

Especially about him plugging and re-plugging into a wall outlet that has not worked for a while.

[Anonymous]

To me it seems that you’re wound up tight and your husband likes to push your buttons.