Angry wife posting again
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Anonymous
| He didn't want to buy groceries or go out for dinner. Then when he (maybe) did want to go out, you rejected him which gave him an opportunity to both get you back get you wound up in a circular argument. If you had said yes, he may have backed out, or been late or who knows what. Have you tried reverse psychology on him? Ohhh, blueberry yogurt, I haven't had that in forever, thank you, honey! |
Anonymous
| The first one about the blueberries and the yogurt is kind of funny. I mean, I can see it’s frustrating but also funny especially if he truly expected it to be a good “solution.” |
Anonymous
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Your husband could very well have ADHD, and possibly some form of autism. He will need to be diagnosed by a psychiatrist. I really hope it's ADHD, OP, because stimulants for ADHD tend to work well, whereas none of the other disorders have efficient pharmacological treatment. I also wanted to explain something I've observed with my husband, who has both ADHD and Asperger's, and refuses to medicate himself (a post for another day!). He has gone through many decades of life constantly being late for everything, constantly forgetting things, and constantly missing deadlines. He struggles with prioritizing tasks, especially when pressed for time, then gets stressed out and has an anger episode or something else similarly abusive and irrational. Someone else is always to blame. His mistakes are never that big of a deal, but ours always are. I wondered for a very long time what his thought process was. I think I understand it now: it's a way around constant guilt and shame. For a high-IQ individual, like my husband, and maybe yours, it defies logic to be so dysfunctional. If they were to see things as they really are, they'd be severely depressed about their failures. Instead they create a different reality that soothes their egos and makes them believe that it's someone else's fault, or that their bizarre actions do not defy logic. They rationalize and convince themselves that they are not at fault. A bit like Trump, did you notice? Politics aside (because this has nothing to do with politics), this is exactly what Trump does: deflect, blame, twist facts to suit a more flattering pseudo-reality. It's not calculated strategy, it's a reflexive sort of auto-defense. That's why I know Trump is mentally disordered. He behaves exactly like my husband, who has official diagnoses. What's interesting is that plenty of people with ADHD do not behave like this! Probably those with milder forms. I have mild ADHD, and also have anxiety and a desire to please. These last two actually help keep my ADHD in check. I am never late, and I do my best to be organized, because I hyperfocus on those so that I can keep managing my house, my husband, my children, and my life. My anxiety makes me functional - apart from those times when it overwhelms me and I have a panic attack. Anyway, I hope my experience is helpful to you. Stay strong, OP. |
Anonymous
| Op, just from reading your post, you are EXHAUSTING and just ridiculous with your observations. Jeez, how the hell does he put up with you? |
Anonymous
| Nope. He’s a dick. Gaslighting ass. The unplugging of kids device story... really? That’s not ADHD, that’s intent to be cruel. |
Anonymous
Or he's just dumb or crazy? |
Anonymous
How the hell does OP put up with him? He kept re-plugging the phone into an outlet that he knew didn't work? Gosh, that's not ridiculous at all. |
Anonymous
| My ex probably has ADHS/maybe Asberger's AND he was a complete narcissistic jerk. Not necessarily either or. |
Anonymous
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OMG! You are exhausting!! DO you keep a Fing journal of all the little mistakes your H makes, or when he fails to live up to your petty expectations?
BTW, I'll bet that is a switched outlet and all you need to do is turn on the right switch. Stop the whining. |
Anonymous
Plus 1 |
Anonymous
Absolitely |
Anonymous
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OP, you do sound quite uptight. If you give off vibes in person as you do in your email, your husband absolutely knows what you think.
I agree with the previous PP that the yogurt and blueberries story was funny. If I were in your shoes I would have laughed and had a good story to tell. He was actually kind of clever in this situation! As for the milk in the coffee - you better sleep with one eye open. Seriously though, this doesn't sound like a match made in heaven. I think he sounds normal and I hate it when ppl on DCUM scream "DIVORCE HIM!" but this just doesn't sound like it is going to work. Best of luck. |
Anonymous
I do not think giving someone a known allergen to drink is due to adhd.. |
Anonymous
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Fellow angry wife here. I can at least admit it is me and not DH. DH does dumb shit all the time. I know I overreact and get angry.
I think it is you, just like it is me in my marriage. |
Anonymous
Fellow angry wife here. It’s my idiot husband, not me. |